THE 
i*H£a- 
BETTER THAN PILLS 
umonms 
or other purgative modi- 
cine. TOE DOSE IS 
SMALL. TOE ACTION IS 
PROMPT. THE TASTE IS 
[delicious, ladies 
AND CHILDREN LIKE IT. 
A Two-foot rule—Keep your foot dry. 
An old lady wants to know what is meant 
by “mean time.” Our watch keeps it. 
A little boy, proud of his jacket, informed 
his sister that he was a six-buttoned kid. 
“ I’ve been heron bad things about you,” 
said one bird to another. Let’s stork about 
something else,” was the response. 
Jawy. —“Talk about the jaws of death!” 
exclaimed a man who had a termagant wife; 
“I tell you they’re nothing to the jaws of life.” 
An indiscreet man confided a secret to 
another, and begged him not to repeat it. 
“It’s all right,” was the reply; “I’ll be as close 
as you were.” 
A six-year-old was enveloped in a shirt 
much too big for him. After strutting about 
for some time, he burst out. “Oh, ma! I feel 
awful lonely in this big shirt.” 
A solemn old scientist printed the fact that 
by bathing the feet in tepid water a man could 
double his circulation, and now all the edi¬ 
tors are having tanks fitted to their office 
stoves. 
A long-haired poet has a poem on “The 
Lost Kiss.” He doesn’t make it very plain as 
to how he lost it; but it is presumed her mother 
came into the room just in time to catch 
her at it. 
“You write for money, but I write .for 
honor,” exclaimed an author, in the fury of 
dispute with another author. “Ah! each 
writes for what he most needs,” replied his 
companion. 
“Ah, Mr. Simpkins, we have not chairs 
enough for our company,” said a gay young 
wife to her frugal husband. “Plenty of chairs 
ducky;but a little too much company,” re¬ 
plied Mr. Simpkins, 
A lawyer, having gained a suit for a poor 
young lady, who was very ugly, she remarked, 
“I hae naething to pay you with, sir, but my 
heart.” “Hand it over to my clerk, if you 
please; I wish no fees for myself,” he said. 
Handsome is as handsome does.—“Do you 
see that handsome apple there?” asked one 
young man of another. “Yes,” was the reply. 
“Well,” said the first speaker, “my betrothed 
is handsomer than that apple.” “Humph! hand¬ 
some apples are often sour!” was the unkind 
response. 
“You write a beautiful hand. I wish that 
I had such a hand,” said Mr. Flasher to a 
lady clerk at the hotel. “Am I to consider 
this as a proposal!” asked the bright lady. 
“Well—er—yes—if my wife is willing to let 
me off,” replied the accomplished Flasher. 
A little girl, just able to talk, who had 
often been reproved for eating the inside of 
her tart and leaving the crust, was afflicted 
one day with a sore toe, and when she was 
caught slipping her pie-crust under her plate 
and called to account for it, she demurely said, 
“But, papa, my toe is sore to-day, I tan’t eat 
crust.” 
One Scotchman complained to another that 
he had got a ringing in his head. “Do you 
ken the reason o’ that,” asked the worthy 
crony. “No.” “I’ll tell ye, it’s because it’s 
empty.” “And ha’e ye never a ringing in 
your head?” quoth the other. “No, never.” 
“And do ye ken the reason? Because it’s 
cracked.” 
Men’s Stupidity.—An old gentleman who 
had provoked the hostility of a fashionable 
lady w hom he had known in boyhood, was 
asked by his wife what he had done to incur 
the lady’s displeasure. “Nothing at all,” re¬ 
plied the innocent old man; “on the contrary, 
I was very cordial to her, and spoke of the 
time when I used to carry her to school nearly 
half a century ago 1” His wife threw up her 
hands in amazement, and murmured, “How 
stupid men are!” 
One trial proves its 
extraordinary curative 
value. 
TRY A 25 CENT BOX. 
Sold by all Druggists. 
DEERE FERTILIZER 
Attachment” 
/ — - -X. - 1 - \ \ ! For Deere Rotary Drop Two-Horse t’oru 
• — t / -4 -“ft-- — r r~ r r -( Up X— —V- V -! Planter, for dropping all kinds of Fertilizers and 
^ I Phosphates In the lilll with the seeds. Send for 
I Descriptive Clreulsr. 
“ BE IT EVER SO HUMBLE, THERE’S NO PLACE LIKE HOME.” [ ' DEE RE & MANSUR CO., Moline Ill. 
Corn, Corn Fodder, Cabbages. Turnips, Buckwheat, 
Forage and Green Crops, Hungarian 
Grass, Millet, etc. 
THE MAPES CORN MANURE is well adapted on average soils for all of the above crops. Fertilizer to be applied broadcast before or at 
planting—also at any hoeing or disturbance of the soil. 
THE MAPES CORN MANURE stands at the head by “Valuation” by the State Experiment Stations of Massachusetts, Connecticut and 
GEORGE W. PRATT, East Hartford, Hartford Co., Conn., Dec. 0, 1882. reports:—For my com I used 000 lbs. per acre oltnejn 
Coni Manure alone. Yield, 140 bushels ears to the acre. Am so well pleased with the Mapes Corn Manure that I shall use nothing else but 
on corn, 
R. M. LEETE, Leete’s Island, New Haven Co., Conn., Dec. 26, 1882, writes:—As a result in the growth, the row receiving the Mapes ' 
Manure was fully 2 weeks in advance of the other in all its stages. Yield some 50 per cent. more. Paid 250 per cent, profit on my mone 
vested. 
WM. CROZIER, the well-known successful stock-raiser, Nortbport Suffolk Co., L. L, February 16, 1882. reports: 4,000 bushels unlit 
cal's of com with the Mapes Manure on 85 acres. 500 bushels of potatoes w r ith the Mapes Potato Manure on two acres, a he only good ci 
potatoes I ever raised. Quality of the crop of oats and peas the beet I ever raised. I shall use none other this year but the Mapes Manures. 
See Mapes Pamphlet. (1883( for report of CHAS. BARTLETT, East Windsor Hill, Conn., on growing corn with the Mapes Corn Ma 
at 25 cents per bushel. 
THE MAPES FORMULA AND PERUVIAN OUANO CO., iss Front st, Newport 
Also VITRIFIED SALT-GLAZED STONEWARE SEWER PIPE, for CULVERTS 
aud SLUICES In ROADWAYS. 
Send for Circular and Prices. 
JOHN LYTH & SONS, Buffalo, IV. Y. 
THE 
The Albion Spring-tooth 
Still maintains ltB position as the", BEST 
SPRING TOOTH HARltOW on wheels 
In the market. _ 
it Is unror-^*—— - 
passed as a ~ , . 
COKNCUL- — 
T1VATOR. 
and hus first class 
THE ROSS ENSILAGE 
Ragan’B Power Oider Prtsses, 
—AND— 
Victor Power Apple Grinders 
—MANUFACTURED BY— 
EWALD OVER, 
INDIANAPOLIS, • - - I 
C #~8EN'D FOR ClttCULAR8._i(kJ 
AND fodder cutters 
Thousands In ase. 
Sold sotum ute or combined. 
and orders from the N. K. Htutes. N. 5 •. La., Del., r—NMei "--'If 111 I/ 7 #/ 1/1 V/f / J 
N. .L, Md., Va„ W. Va.. should be addressed to 7/ li ¥/A/!/ / 
O. B. Olln A Co y Parry, N. Y. From Cal., OrcRon.^. i^y / / /Ar / / [/-/JSL&+:- . 
Wash. Ter. and Nev. to Batchelor A Wylie, San — \_ / V -// p' ; „ 
Francisco, Cal. From all other States and Ter -A - 
rltorlea west of the Mississippi Hlver, Ill. iuk .. * «s3 / "H**—-— 
WLs., the Gale Spring tooth Harrow Co., De 
troll, Mich. From the Dominion of Canada, »» -- _ 
Noxon Bros., Mauuf. Co., Jngersoll, Ont. From __ 
all other territory to CO., AlbiOIl, Mich 
Giants and Little Giants, “Specials” 
l. ' T"" '"2 "ul.il you 
COOLEY CREAMERS 
r;,ny .1 n J .. M our.f utters*are not represented in 
your vicinity please write us for prices. Send for our 
Illustrated ctrculur to E. \V. ROSS & CO.. 
Mention Rural New-Yorker. Pul ion, N. i. 
e Made In FOUR STYLES, ull 
sizes for Dairy or Factory use. 
S J«ted.“" ,,erlOrUydem0n ‘ 
Thelrj ttnoeeita without a 
' over ” 0,000 lu dally use. 
They are SKir-SxiaOlsa. 
Five Geld Medal* nud 
Seven Silver IIi'iIiiIn for 
superiority. Hawk Monk 
Cream. Mask UicrrtcuBernca. 
DAVIS SWING Cltt HNS, 
EUREKA BUTTER WORK¬ 
ERS, and NESBITT BUTTER PRINTERS. Full line of 
Butter Euctory Supplies, 
jit- Send postal for circulars and testimonials. 
VERMONT FARM MACHINE C’O., 
Bellows Falls, Vt. 
$YRACU 8 E ROAUCART U 
— THE 
— -t- -MOST 
"popular CART MADE for 
business or plcusnre. LIGHT, 
STRONG. DURABLE. Three 
styles, weighing from M 6 to 
lOO pound*. Pricesfrum Kt.lO 
to *1 OO.. Over 9,000 lu use, 
Send for circular, entitled 
Address John HA*it-T(.ui,Stuto College,Centre Co.,Pu 
IN THE UNITED STATES. 
Just Published. Kleguntly liliistruteil. 180 pa 
ges, cloth, SI .50. Minute direction* howto raise, 
oureand preserve bops. How to start a hop-yard, 
cost, world’s statistics, svuopsls of English und Ger¬ 
man method*. Illustration*, with uit.lc of contents, 
sent free. K, M EEK EK & CO., WaterviUe, N. Y. 
kxg,7?rv^W I— AM) NOT 
wear out. 
by wHtelunnkers. -*y mail UAo. Clroulara 
free, j. S. BlllCH It Co.. iltJ 11*1 St., H.Y. 
and all in lue Highest praise of them. Fully 
warranted In every resport, Send for UL Catalogue 
und Price List. SYRACUSE CART CO., Syracuse, N.Y 
SOLD 
