THE STEVENS 
GENUINE FRENCH RUHR 
P0RT1BLE MILLS! 
“If you don’t give me a penny,” said a young 
hopeful to his mamma, “I know a boy that’s 
got the measles, and I’ll go and catch ’em.” 
The late husband, when he. finds that some¬ 
body has stolen the keyhole out of his door, 
and diffidently rings the bell, knows exactly 
who the “coming woman” is. 
A woman said in a police court, the other 
day, that before marriage her husband pre¬ 
tended to be much struck with her, but now 
she was every da}' struck by him. 
It is said that a pair of pretty eyes are the 
best mirror for a man to shave by. Exactly 
so: and it is unquestionably the case that 
many a man has been sha ved by them. 
A man who was demonstrating to a crowd 
that there was no such thing as hydrophobia, 
was the first to climb up a barber’s pole when 
a small yellow dog came rushing down the 
street. 
“I don’t feel uneasy about the future pros¬ 
perity of any of my children except Tom,” 
said a lady in conversation w ith an acquain¬ 
tance. “Poor Tom’s mind is weak, and I fear 
that, like his father, he "will be compelled to 
practice law.” 
There was a fight, imminent between two 
boys one evening. One of them darkly hinted 
that he was bigger than the other. The small 
er, who is the son of a bishop, defiantly re¬ 
torted, “1 don’t care if you’re as big as a 
church debt, you can’t frighten me.” 
A man went into a shop the other day and 
inquired, “How much do you ask for a bath 
tub for a child?”—Two-and-six,” was the re¬ 
ply.—“W-k-c-wl” whistled the customer; 
“then we’ll have to keep on washing the baby 
in the coal-scuttle till prices come down.” 
A little boy of three years, whose mother 
played the organ in church, aud who was 
obliged to be left to the care of others, was 
asked one Sunday morning what his kitten 
was crying so piteously for. “I don’t know,” 
said he, “but s’pect the old cat has gone to 
church.” 
“Lily, tell me what animals you see in the 
house.” “A cat.” “What else Y' “Geese, 
chickens, horses.” “But you forgot one, which 
we even put up with in our rooms; it lias four 
feet, and sometimes makes so much noise that 
it prevents me from sleeping.” “Yes, I know 
—a piano.” 
A little girl stopped in the midst of her 
play one day, clasping her hands to her neck 
as she felt a sharp pain there, exclaiming 
“Oh! oh!’’—“What is it, dear?” said grandma, 
“a stitch in your neck?”—“ Why, grn’ma,” she 
asked, with a terrified look, “are our heads 
sewed on?” * 
“I believe you are a fool, John,” testily 
exclaimed Mrs. Miggs, as her husband unwit¬ 
tingly presented the hot end of a potato-dish, 
w'hich she promptly dropped and broke.— 
“Yes,” he added, resignedly, “that’s what the 
clerk told me w hen I went to take out my 
marriage license. ” 
They were in the wood. Said he, looking 
things unutterable, “I wish I were a fern, 
Gussio.”—“Why ?” she asked.—“Why—p’raps 
you—might—press me, too.” She evidently 
hated to do it, but it is best to nip such things 
in the bud; so she replied, “I’m afraid you’re 
too green, Charley.” The poor boy almost 
blubbered. 
Tho Cheapest and best Mills in the 
market. Sizes adapted to the smallest 
Farmer or largest Miller. No better pay¬ 
ing investment for the money can be made 
than to purchase one of the Stevens 
Bunn Stone Muxs. 
AVe Ma.lv e Only A 
FRENCH BUHRMILL, 
Have sold large numbers of them and 
never had one single unsuccessful Mill 
returned. Iron or so-called steel Mills 
cannot, show such a record. White for 
Prices and Discounts. 
Good Live Agents Wanted 
In Every Locality. 
also send for 
Circulars of the Stevens 
Tliresliers and Engines. 
AUBURN, N. Y. 
Youno Shanks from the city, who professes to know much of farms, is asked by 
farmer Jones to take a hand at the plow. 
THE BRADLEY 
NO. 4. THE PHJ5ETON CART 
NEWTON’S IMPROVED 
[Holds them firmly, draws 
[I lie in forward whenlylsg 
down, pushes back when 
standing, glvs freedom of 
head, keeps I hem dean. 
K U NEWTON Batavia III 
Five Styles 
Ten Weights.- 
Nearly TWO THOUSAND made and sold by 
us since November, 1882, giving universal sat¬ 
isfaction, Special Freight arrangements. 
Every owner of a horse should send for our 20-page Illustrated Catalogue free. 
BRADLEY & COMPANY, 
(established Isa*.). Syracuse, N. Y. 
All kinds of Fine Grade CARRIAGES and WAGONS 
Send for Illustrated Catalogue. 
The 11.11, BABCOCIt BUGGY CO., 
Watertown, N.Y. 
SHORT & SMITH, Syracuse, N. Y 
Manufacturers of Open and Top Buggies, 
Having recently addet) to line of Orst-class work a low-prtced Ruggy, we are now prepared to supply the host 
vehicle or that class lutin' market. We will remove on November 1st to our new and commodious factory on 
Hemlock Street, where we will manufacture, together with our present line, Full and Half Platform and 
Three Spring Wagons of different stylos. We respectfully solicit the patronage of aU dealers aud users of 
vehicles. Send forXatalogue. 
Manufac¬ 
turers 
MOLINE ROAD CART 
mOLINIC, III. 
The only practical spring that absolutely 
overcomes tho motion of I ho horse. 
25?" Send for Circulars and Trices. 
kr~, 
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