THE RURAL NEW-YORKER* 
8EPT*26 
tjitmumis. 
Angelina (who has never seen a revolving 
light before): “How patient and persevering 
the^e sailors must be, Edwin. The wind has 
blown that light out six times since they first 
lit it, and they’ve lighted it again each time.” 
“Father, what is a poetic license?” “Well, 
my boy, as nearly as I can learn, poetic license 
is something which enables men to say things 
in yerse which would incarcerate them in a 
lunatic asylum if worked off at a political 
meeting.” 
A poetess warbles: “I love to sing when 
I am glad—song is the echo of my gladness; I 
love to sing when I am sad, for song makes 
sweet my very sadness.” From which we 
infer that she loves to sing. Her neighbors 
have not yet been found. 
“Bobby,” said the minister at the dinner 
table, “what do you expect to do when you 
grow up?” “I’ll be a minister, I think.” 
“That's a laudable ambition, indeed, Bobby. 
Do you think you will like to be a minister?” 
“Oh, yes,” Bobby replied. “Pa says you’ve 
got the softest job in town.” 
Teacher to class in architecture: Gentle¬ 
men, you have examined the designs for to¬ 
day’s lessons? Class—We have. Teacher— 
Well, then, Mr. Brown, will you kindly tell 
me what the nave of a church is? Brown— 
Certaiuly, sir. It is the Sunday-school super¬ 
intendent who is cashier of a bank. 
“I can’t pay that bill just now; you will 
have to wait a little for the money.” “All 
right, sir,” cheerfully responded the boy, as he 
seated himself, and unfolded the copy of the 
morning paper. “Them's the orders of the 
guv'ner.” “What are orders of the guv’uer?’’ 
demanded the gentleman, sternly. “I’m to 
wait for the money.” 
Among the many stories concerning the late 
Sojourner Truth, the famous negress, is this, 
which represents her as a beggar, but as a 
witty one: At one time during the war sbe 
was in Washington, and called on President 
Lincoln, and gave him her photograph, saying, 
“The face is black, but h^s a white back to it. 
Will you please give roe a picture of your face, 
with a green back to it?” Lincoln smilingly 
handed her a $10 greenback, the vignette of 
which was the picture of his face. 
A good story is told of a bishop who had 
just addressed a large number of Sunday- 
school children, and wound up by asking, in a 
very paternal and condescending way, “And 
now is there a-a n y little boy or a-a n-y little 
girl who would like to ask me a question?” A 
little, shrill voice piped out, “Please, sir, why 
did the angels walk tip and dowu Jacob’s ladder 
when they had wings?" “Oh, ah, yes—I see,” 
said the bishop: “and now is there a-a-n-y 
little boy or a-a-n-y little girl who would like 
to answer Mary's question?” 
ptertilansouiS $ flvwtiirtng. 
One voice all over the land goes up from mothers* 
that savb. “My daughters are so feeble uml sad, with 
no strength, all OUI Of breath unci life nr the least ex¬ 
ertion. What cun wv do for thorn V" The answer Is 
simple and full of hope. One to four weeks’ use of 
IIop 13'tti r* v. Ill make them healthy, rosy, sprightly, 
and cheerful 
Lone Jack, Mo , 8opt, i t, is7U. 
I have been using Hop Bitters, aud huve received 
great benefit from them for llv r complaints aud 
malarial fever. They are superior to all other medi¬ 
cines. P.m. Barnes. 
GOOD NEWS 
Ifl L ADIES. 
Greatest inducements ever of¬ 
fered. Now’s your time to setup 
orders for our celebrated Teas 
and CofteCM.and eecure a beauti* 
ful Gold Band or Moss Bose China 
Ten Sot, or Handsome Decorated 
Gold Band Moss Rob® Dinner Sot, or Gold Band Moss 
Decorated Toilet Sot . For full particulars addn " 
am 
TIIE M EltKIN <1 T’OTV 
POTATO DIGGER 
IS A SUCCESS. 
Send for circular tu 1*1,A NTERH’ HOE CO., 
Troy, N. V. 
I 1 
tfi’ rf J i! id 1 
\ 
r- • 
. 
; •; • ■ 
■m&iw-r.H 
■ -s.rvi.'yt 
r-V Ci t-x 
" -- .v- 
^ { ^rro • 
, /- y -i ' 
/ V , _ -Si. __• 
John Smith and his family, while at the seashore, decide to have a ‘'family group” taken. 
The girls smile their prettiest, the boys put on style, but they forget to look behind them. A 
new feature is added that, takes all the dignity out of the affair. Moral: Always look on 
both sides. Judy. 
HOLSTEIN-FRIESIAN CATTLE! 
ALL A(3EH AND IIOTII SEXES. HOME-BRED AND 
IMPORTED. 
Cows and Ileilcre Bred to beat Motherland and 
Augtric l$ii Ha. 
The average Records of it Herd are the true test ol 
its merit. 
The following Milk and Butter Records have all been made by 
animals now In our Herd: 
MXLH. YtXCOKDS, 
Five Cows have averaged over 10,000 lbs. In a year. 
.“ML ‘ 
Teu Cows 
have averaged over 13,000 lbs. In a year. 
IVe know of about 3u Cows that have made yearly records exceeding 
lli, 1 On lbs,, amt 11 of them at e now in our /Herd and have averaged 
over 17,5' u lbs 
Twenty-five have averaged over 111,000 lbs. In a year. Sixty-three, the entire number In the Herd that 
have made yearly records, including fourteen 3-year olds and twenty one 2 year olds, have uveraged 12,781? lbs. 
5 ozs. In a year 
BUTTER R.ECORSS, 
Five Cows have averaged hi lbs. 7 ozs. In a week. Nine Cows have averaged 18 lbs. 14 02 . In a week. Fif¬ 
teen Cows have overaged li lbs. fi ozs. in a week. Six S-year old* have averaged 11 lbs. 3 ozs. In a week. 
Eleven 3 rear olds (t in- entire number tasted' hare averaged 13 lb'. 8 ozs In a week, six2-ycar olds have aver¬ 
aged 12 ibs. l“t ozs. In a week. Fifteen t year olds (entire number tested) have averaged 1(1 lbs. 8 8-10 ozs in a 
week. The entire original Imported Netberland Family of six cows (two being but three years old'have 
averaged 17% lbs. In a week. This is the Herd from Which to get foundation stock. Prices low for quality of 
stok SMITHS, POWELL & LAMB, 
LAKESIDE STOCK FARM, SYRACUSE, X. Y. 
BOOKWALTER ENGINES 
UPRIGHT AND HORIZONTAL, 
3 TO 10 HORSE POWER. 
OVER 3,000 IN SUCCESSFUL OPERATION. 
Illustrated Pamphlet sent free. Address, 
JAMES LEFFEL & CO., Springfield, Ohio. 
Eastern Office: 110 Liberty St.,New York. 
FENCES 
jQl 
FOR FARMERS 
AND LAND-OWNERS. 
Prettiest, Cheapest, and Most Durable. Can 
be made any size on our Standard Fence-Mak¬ 
ing Machine. Any farmer having 2h0 rod of 
fence to build cun rimke a machine pay for itself. 
Owners of machine cun then make from UMO l<> 
$25 a day* soiling fence to bis neighbors and have 
11 manufacturing business at home. Exclusive ter¬ 
ritory free. Agents that sell machines make (rom 
#5010 # IOOa week. Ulus, catalogue, terms, etc,, 
free. STAND AUD MEG. CO. Cincinnati, O. 
I I CQC Field. Rond,Luwu,all 
nULLLII o”*h1/.<s; Cheapest and 
best. Circulars, The United Stales 
Hard Steel Plow, better than any £ 
ehl led Iron. Apex Harrow, I 'oruW 
Drill, Cyelou® cutter TH K N E Y$ 
ni an ji? 
Drill, Gyeiouo cutter TH 
YORK PLOW CO., i' 1 ' Beak 
“F.usllage Congress,"** Paves. 
9 
GENUINE FRENCH BUHx 
--CORN and FEED MILlS 
and POWER CORN SMELLERS, 
Cheapest and Best in the 
iworld. Illustrat¬ 
ed circular free. 
A.w.sievm&sn 
Auburn, N. Y. 
MenUtu tbU p»jw. 
M. W. DUNHAM 
Wayne, Du Page Go«, Illinois, 
HAS IMPORTED FROM FRANCE 
Pert*hero»» Horne* valued ni ${{,500,000, 
which Include* ulmut 
70 PER GENT OF ALL HORSES 
Whose purity of blood 1 b established by pedigrees re¬ 
corded to tboPerohoron Stud Book of France, <ho oidy 
Stud Hook over published in that country, 
EVER IMPORTED TO AMERICA. 
<>. -STOCK ON HAND: 
X#ll aX x-io 
Imported Bmud Mares 
200 
Imported Stallions. 
Old enough for 
Service, 
126 COLTS 
T*v«i yearn eld uod 
younger. 
Be cog living the prin¬ 
ciple accepted by oil imclll- 
_ - gent breeder* that, bow- 
, ***" ever well bred animals may he 
said to be,if iheir pedigrees are not 
re ded, they should be valued only us grade-, 1 will 
s till imported stock at grade line®* when ) catumt 
rush with the animal sold, pedigree verified bv the 
i'"'" 1 i '■'■«" i. e.-ruiieiite of ft*number and record in 
.e IVreheron SruuBook of France. lOU-t.uge IIIuh 
cub'd Ciilulogue Heal free. Waynn, Ills., Is 3ft miles 
Vent of Ohleago, on the Chicago & North-Western By 
S/e,I in tin fit It on. 
AUTOMATIC and 
I’i.aim Bo.rmi tavr, 
Nintlonory, 1‘orttlil# and 
TruelloM. Olii.njKMt 
iii.*l bed fur nil |iui |jo>es. 
Nile jilt* i Hiroti*: uml dune 
lilu. NiiFnnju|i«r bailer 
ever eiploOisl- 8«w .Mills, 
Tbreslimg Mvaldue. und 
Ajjrlenll urw.1 liaplaiucnu 
.ml inaublnaiy genemily. 
Sciel for I llu»'« i imuoRoe 
A. It- I'Vo'iiii/iitr, 
York, Pa._ , 
PUZ- T" find nr* auknt vvliols not making satisfactory 
ti cn salary selling my Houskhoi.d Aiitici.ks. Socau 
aLLU you. Address V. P. Van Uounn, Daytuu, 0. 
HERD Of HOLSTEINS. 
iH.lill'j, lb*, from March 8B. ivl.', to Srlurch Jti. tSSH. 
-’3,77ftf6 Mrs. ., May 2H, pm, to May 
Not the largest but the finest lo rd 111 Amerlcu, In 
which will lie round representatives of nearly nlltlu- 
notod families in this country, prize winners and 
their direct ilescendanls. The largesl records have 
been made by members of this herd. Prime jf 
Wayne 2d 7311, the grout butter bull, and Lonstautyn 
idu, sire Constanlyn 157 N li. B., daiu Betje *><1 N. 11. 
B., irecord 8a Ibs. i. grunddntu Oude Betje (record 88 
lbs.), ut head of herd. Fifty calves, of superior 
breeding and great merit, released from qua ran tin® 
December 17th. K. C jatf VENK, Aulcu, N. V. 
MBI 
PATENT 
VARIABLE 
ALL cos 
FRICTION FEED 
CIE-GULAl’I, 
MILL 
oulor “D." i 
AddrvuTKE BlllbSAliL CO., Auburn, 
INVALIDS AND OTHERS SEEKING 
STRENGTH AND ENERGY WITHOUT THE USE OF 
DRUGS, 
Are requested to send tor TI1K ELECTRIC It li- 
VI EW. 'an lllnstrateii Journal), which is publlHh- 
eil for Free Distribution. 
it ircatsof Hkai.tii, H voiiCNE, and Physical Culture, 
aud D n complete encyclopedia of information for 
Invalids and those whoKUflfer from nervou*,exhaust 
lug and painful dlx-uscs. Every subject that beats 
on health and hnman hnpplt)e-ss receives attention In 
Its pages: and the many questions asked by suffer 
Ing Invalids who have despaired of a cure are an¬ 
swered, uml valuable in format Ion Is voluntered to 
all who are In need of medical advice, 
YU I'M. .11KN anil others who autTer from ner¬ 
vous and physical debility arc especially benefited by 
consulting Its contents, 
The Electric Review exposes the unmitigated 
frauds practiced bv quacks and medical Imposters 
who profess to “practice tnedtelue,” anil points out 
the only safe, simple and effective road to health, 
vigor and bodily energy. 
Address for free copy. TIIE ELECTRIC KE- 
V1EVV. 11 t»\J Brontlwuy, New \ ork. 
SPECIAL OFFER. 
ff $12.50 
Including 
One do/. Bcloadable Brass Shells, 
For $ 12.50 only 
you can buy tho 
“ PIKENIX” 
_ _Do it Me Ita i— 
re led II reeeli I.otitlisi”' Shot f.itu and ono 
dozen Iirnss Shells frne. We draw the attention 
of the* Sporting Public to the above offer. Never 
befqro lias a Gun like Dili- been oirerod at. such a 
low price. The •*I*Iiceni x’’ Is tho moat durable 
and serviceable Gun, Us action Is one of tho 
strongest, very simple and ilurablo. The very 
dim for luird iis»:re. It has goanin® Sieel 
Barrels; finest Eliglteh all si.-el [.neks: ease 
hardened Mounting*; finely oiled Walnut stock 
and Chequered Grip; Automatic Shell Extractor; 
and Is Btrongly bolted, HI or 12 guage; Weight 
7'. to lbs., Barrels 2S to 82 1 nolle®. 
Warranted to be made of best material In 
every detail and for accuracy and penetra¬ 
tion cannot bn excelled by any makers. Being 
our own Importation xvc huve the iitunii- 
fsictii mix cmiranleo t hat these are excellent 
and goo*I Guns Wu therefore urn enabled to 
offer them nol onlycUenp. but can also guarantee 
their superior finality. Wo also sell 
•2.'> Rolomlable Brass Sheila lot'.$0.fi0 
luo Paper Shells.. o.7.'« 
Completo Rot of Reloading Tool®. 2.00 
Sports in an® Cartridge Holt.. ... 1.00 
Order at once, os this is an extraordinary 
opportunity for you. ALL ORDERS EXECUTED 
UN VERY DAY WHEN RECEIVED, NO DELAY. 
On lAuelpt of respective amount we box se¬ 
curely and scud to any add less In U S. or Canada 
above dosurtbod Gun and appuricnances. 
Semi money with order by Register¬ 
ed Letter, Post Office Money Order or 
Ihuilt ( tn-que. 
Ail our truus are Government tested. 
Address 
EBNER & KRETZ, 
gun impouterh, 
41 Barclay Street, New York City. 
Scud stamp for Catalogue. 
LION CUTTER. 
THE BEST 
Ensilage & Fod¬ 
der Cutter made. 
Also GALE'S CY¬ 
LINDER & LEVER 
CUTTER We make 
besides, the old aud 
popular self sharp 
cuing 
FEED CUTTER 
For full description 
semi for lllut trat.'d 
circulars ami Price 
List Address 
The BELCHER 
Tool Co., (Box 75) Chicopee Falls, Muss. 
For Ensilage and Dry Fotlder. 
The heaviest, strongest, ami best Cutters in 
the World. Adapted to all kinds of powers, verv 
easy running, ana have immense capacities. A 
trial of the Ross Machines ill competition with 
others will fully substantiate*' above claims. Il¬ 
lustrated circular and book oa .-.tsilage sent free. 
E W. ROSS & CO.. SPRDJCFIELD, Ohio. 
Drawer A. G. forme* I vf fulton a. v> 
Paynes’ Automatic Engines h Saw-Mill. 
OLK LEADER. 
We offer an 8 to 10II. I\ Automatic, spark Arresting, 
Mounted Portable Engine, with Mill, 1#ft. carriage. 
3a ft. truck und ways. 2 simultaneous lever set beau- 
blocks, 7)j Alien arbor, S changes 
feed: sawyer controls feed-lever 
and head-blocks from one position, 
MUnch solid saw, *n rt_ 3-Inch i ply 
belting, toad-belt*, cant-hooks, 
swage, tightener, etc. Rig com 
plate for operation, 8),inoou curs. 
Engine on skids, $100 less. Engine 
will burn slab* from ll)e saw two to 
eight loel long, and keep up steam 
Rend for Catalogue 
PA VNK *_, 
i, N. Y„ Box S41. 
••A. 1 
<V- SONH 
K. W, _ 
Klmlru, 
Shafting. Pulleys, and Hangers 
Manufacturers all styles Automatle Engines from . 
to 300 H. P. 
CIDER 
■ ■ ■ |#p*M A ^hodd lend fbr ^.^.yXDpF 
M A If L D V 1886 CATALOGUE nidledT IICL 
III H W L MO Boomer A ltoidiert TreuCo. 8 |r«cu»e,I. r 
