The real-estate agent doesn’t want the 
earth: he is always trying to sell it.— Boston 
Courier. 
“A Kathleen' Mavourneen loan,” my 
unsophisticated inquirer, is one of the “may 
be for years, and it may be forever” sort.— 
Fh iladelphia Call. 
“ Have you lost your ears?” asked an irate 
pareut the other day. “Why, have you 
found any ?” innocently queried the urchin.— 
New Haven News. 
The baby believes iu the motto, “A place for 
everything and everything in its place,” and 
her place for everything is in her mouth.— 
Somerville Journal. 
A Lady who advertised for a girl “to do 
light house work,” received a letter from an 
applicant who said her health demanded sea air 
and asked w here the light-house was situated. 
— N, Y. Herald. 
In Japan,according to a correspondent,a man 
introduces his better-half as“my fool of a wife.” 
in Japan all the furniture is made of light 
bamboo, and such a thing as a rolling pin is 
unknown .—Omaha World, 
Jinks: “You believe St. Patrick drove the 
snakes from Ireland?” Mike: “Yis, sor.” 
Jinks: “Now just look at it a moment. Where 
could he have driven them to?” Mike: “Be- 
dad, it’s meself that bees thin kin’ he druv them 
iuto the whiskey .”—Pittsburg Dispatch. 
“I’m almost dead from house-hunting,” 
wearily sighed Mrs. Gossip. “What do you 
want with a house?” interrogated Miss Snyder. 
“I thought you owned your own house.” “Of 
course I don’t want a house,” was the con¬ 
fidential reply, “but I just like to go around 
and see bow people live, you know,”— Judge. 
He: “There, Mary, don’t make a fool of 
yourself. The dog is dead, and that’s the end 
of him.” She (through her tears): “You great 
hateful, unfeeling creature, you know that 1 
never can be happy again. Poor Skippy! he* 
was the only living thing on earth that I ever 
cared for, and you know it.” He: “Yes, dear; 
but unfortunately I did not find it out until it 
was too late .”—Boston Transcript. 
Nurse (to fashionable mother): “The baby 
is very restless, ma'am. I cdu’t do anything 
w ith her.” F. M : “She's reethtng, I suppose?” 
Nurse-. .“Yos’rn. I think if you was to take 
her in your arms a little while it might soothe 
her.” F. M.: “I? Impossible! I haven’t the 
time to spare. I am just making ready to at 
tend a meeting of the Society for the Preven¬ 
tion of Cruelty to Children. Give baby some 
paregoric .”—Boston Con-Her. 
Henry (softly); “Florence, do you think 
you could leave your happy home and loving 
friends and go into the far West with a worthy 
young man who has no wealth save his 
profession? (A pause ) I’m waiting, Florrie.” 
Florence (tenderly): “Yes, Henry, l think I 
could.” Henry, with a sigh of relief): “Well, 
I’m right glad to hear you say' that. You see my 
friend Joe is going West, and wants to marry, 
so I’ll just mention your ease to him.”— Life.' 
It was a thrifty urchin, albeit of tender 
years, who fell down on the icy sidewalk and 
cut a slight gash iu his tough little palm one 
day. Some kindly passers-by stopped to bind 
up his hand and offer the little fellow consola¬ 
tion. A gentleman gave him a dime, and 
when the lady who wound heb handkerchief 
around the injured hand asked him if he did 
not feel pretty comfortable, he replied with 
astoundiug candor: “Yes’m, as comfortable 
as a feller can fur 10 cents.” That boy had a 
sense V values .—Boston Post. 
The W ro.vu Date. —The widow of a Ger¬ 
man army officer went to the peusiou office 
for the purpose of drawing her pension. She 
presented the usual certificate of the mayor of 
her village to the effect that she was still 
alive. “-This certificate is not right/’ said the 
official. “ What is the matter with it?” “ It 
bears the date of December 21, but your pen¬ 
sion was due December 15.” "What kiud of 
a certificate do you want?” “ We must have 
a certificate that you were alive on the 15th 
day of December. Of what use is this one 
which says that you were alive on the 21st 
of December—six days later ?”—Otago Wit¬ 
ness. 
iftteilameousi Advertising. 
CIDER Pr s: ng 
Fur Keeping Ciiiler Sweci ami Sparkling. 
Contain.-* Du .Salicylic Acid ur oilier , eleicriouK kuO 
stance-, im» been thoroughly tried unci proven "Best 
of ail Preservatives.' For further information, or 
fur circular of Improved Cider Making Machinery, In- 
cltidlnK the celebrated durecy Applo Orlnder. ( Ini in- 
pilin Double Power Freer, (with spc-cttb-ailons 
for mu*t lug frame work), Engines and other Fixtures, 
address the Sole Manufacturer, 
JtOHT. BUTTEKW'OKTH, Treutou, N. J. 
The Syracuse Nurseries offer for the Fall of 1887, a large and unusually choice stock 
of Standard Apples, Standard, Half Standard and Dwarf Pears, Peach¬ 
es, Plums, Cherries, and Quinces. Also a full line of other Nursery Stock 
both Fruit and Ornamental, Shrubs and Roses. With an experience of nearly 
half a century, soil especially adapted to the growth of trees, and growing only for the 
trade we can offer special inducements to Nurserymen and Dealers, and solicit their 
correspondence or a personal examination of our stock before making contracts for Fall. 
8MIPH8, POWELL LAM1J, dyraousc, IV. Y. 
WATERPROOF HAY COVERS, ETC. 
Also covers for AGltlCULTUK A I. IMPLEMENTS, WAGONS and Waterproof Covers for all 
purposes on Farm, etc. Cheap, Durable, Serviceable. WATER PROOFS IIEICTI NG by the piece from IWc, 
per square foot, all widths. Waterproof Duck for all purposes. Also PATENT PLANT BEI> CLOTH, 
a substitute for glass sash on Hot Beds and Cold Frames, for 8, 6, and 9 ots j>er yard, and Is :ili Inches wide. Send 
for circulars. Samples, etc., free. Mention this paper. 
U. 8. WATERPROOFING FIBER CO. (LIMITED), 56 SOUTH STREET, NEW YORK. 
THE COOLEY CREAMER. 
with surface and bottom skimming attachments. 
IS MORE THAN A MILK COOLER! 
It is a CREAM RAISER and SEPARATOR! 
AM til© TESTS of COWS at til© 
NEW YORK DAIRY i CATTLE SHOW, 
WHERE TIIK MILK WAS SET, TIIR CREAM 
RAISED, AND THE CREAM ONLY CHURNED, 
WERE MADE IN THE 
NEW YORK STATE FAIR. 
TO BE HELD AT 
ROCHESTER, SEPT. 8 to 14, 1887. 
ENTRIES CLOSE AUGUST S. 
Premiums greatly lnoreated. New features added. 
For Premium List and parllculars, address 
N. Y. ST A TE A G RICU LTURA 1. SOCIET Y, 
Albany, N. \ . 
Bu, Hie Best 125 EUREKA 
_ Awarded FIK8T Pre- 
; —tttlom arid Gold Med* 
rTJgnl at World’aFalr New 
E&ej l's fV—SoiUmnH.i'vei lS leading 
Ur-Swind MUI* The EU- 
K 1 * 3 -" r “lttKA, after a trial 
looting 4 mo8, was pro. 
nourn-ed the heat over 
,11 and today stand. 
.11 competitors. Sites, lo 
,. r of wheel,either for 
?«■ Mills. I'erUct in all 
intrd Kstlmates on ap- 
Mt". ot the Adam* T»t- 
live Agenlt wanted. Address Mtrs., 
jfc W OO»WAKP t Mich. 
JAPA-TENT 
: 11 W 
a sues 
The Best Cider and Wine Mill 
made. Will make 20 per cent, more 
cider than any other. Geared out¬ 
side. Perfectly AdJoMable. 
Prices as low as any tirst-class mill. 
Mfrs.pt Hay Presses,!I orse Powers. 
Corn Shelters, Feed Cutters, Feed 
Mills, etc. Send for circulars. 
WHlfMAN AGR’L CO. St. Louis, Mo. 
COOLEY CREAMERS 
and 
Davis Swing Churns! 
THE ONLY CREAMER HIGHLY RECOMMENDED 
BY THE JUDGES WITH SURFACE AND 
BOTTOM SKIMMING ATTACHMENTS. 
BfA Fclt. LINK or DAIRY and BUTTEB 
FACTORY SUPPLIES. 
Send for IlluMfrated Circnln.ro. 
YT. FARM MACHINE COMPANY, 
BELLOWS FALLS. YT. 
cooler CABIKET CfifAMfB N 
MOORE BROS.’ GALL POWDER 
Heals Collar Gttlte, 
Heals Hoot Galls, 
Heala lilt Galls, 
Heals tetuldle Galls, 
WHILE the ANIMAL is at WORK. 
Price SI per can, by mall, postpaid. 
MOORE BROS., Veterinary Surgeons, 
Mention Rural.Nkw-Yoiikkk.] Albnuy, N.Y. 
EVAPORATING FRUIT 
Full trea 
_»nd prlr** 
I Box P, 
treatise en Improved mrlhinl,, U*d<!», profit. 
ONONDAGA F. F. DAIRY SALT. Tl s„°v'Sf;S! 5 S. r .S" > - 
THE AMERICAN DAIR Y SALT CO., L’D. SOLE MANUFACTURERS, SYRACUSE, N. Y. 
Purest and best Salt In the market. Used by a majority of Dairymen In the country, with entire satisfaction. 
Cheaper and better than any foreign Salt. First Premiums taken wherever exhibited. Send for “Salt Man uni,” 
giving certificates as to quality, premiums taken, &c. Address .1. \V. BARKER, Sec’y , Syracuse, N. Y. 
(TI l Y1VIO-CKHSOL.) 
A very highly concentrated, tion-polsonous fluid- 
mixes readily with cold or warm water—the simplest 
safest, surest cure for TICKS. 
LIC DE3, 
51ANGF., SCAB, nil Insect Pests, all Skin troubles, and 
many other Diseases of Livestock. Recommended by 
many prominent Breeders. See circular, sent on ap¬ 
plication. T. VV. LAW FOR II & CO., 
Baltimore. Md. 
W Patented QinUliniin 
j 0 v. 24,1885. n I un MUn U 
n CHAMPION 
jKj; fence 
- - MACHINE 
Surpasses nllothe* wire and picket fence machines, 
lor making strong and durable fences in the field, 
lor making strong and durable fences in the field, 
that no stock will break down. On rough, hilly 
ground, it keeps pickets perpendicular, which no 
other machine will do without constant adjustment. 
It is easy to hatuHn, uses uny kind of pickets, and 
any abte rar wire. Write for circular and price. 
WAYNE AGRICULTURAL CO., Richmond, lad. 
: and durab 
cnees in the field, 
The Brst on Wheels. Light, strong, convenient, and low priced. Handy to get Into and out of. 
Handy for single horse or pair. Handy for one person or more. Ilundy to load or unload. Semi 
for free circular ,( Ilotc to purchanc direct from Ifauu facto rer.-’ 
* - -, Tr . Tr o (SYRACUSE, NEW YORK, or 
BRADLEY & CO. si nsKAvrass: 
THE LATEST 
GOOD NEWS 
TO LADIES. 
THE R 
THE BEST. 
EXAMINE 
THE 
Fodder Cutters. 
THE 
BESTs 
considering fiSalk* 1 '=s^ 
JW EASY DRAFT, DURABILITY, 
QUANTITY & QUALITY of Work. 
FRFdf. ^Address A. W. GRAY’S SONS 
# Patxntkes akd Sole Manufactubebv' 
MIDDLETOWN KPRINO^, Vermont. 
FENCES! FENCES! 
Absolutely the best and cheapest Farm and Gulden 
Fence known. 
THE BROCK FLEXIBLE FENCE CO., 
]‘H Watfr Street, New York. 
The Belcher & Taylor 
Agricultural Tool Company, 
Box »5, CHICOPEE FALLS, Maas. 
MANPFACTUUBRS OP 
Hay Tedders, 
Ilorae Rakes, 
Food Cutlers, 
Vegetable Cutters, 
Reversible Sulky Plows, 
Right Hand uud Side Hill Plows. 
Harrow's, Tobacco Ridgers & Cultivators, 
Etc., etc. Send for Circulars, Price List and Terms. 
Send for our Illustrated Catalogue and Treatise 
on Ensilage and silos. E. W. ROSS &, CO 
SPRINGFIELD, OHIO, U. S. A. ’ 
TUB PWi; UMA.TIC 
FRUIT DRIERS. 
I M~- Made In ull Sizes, fur 
- Factory, Farm, and Fninily 
pS rf vr, Fh Use, 
•fSjl - ,'i At the test of the leading Fruit 
-3S tn i II Evaporators, at the Pennaylvaolti 
S3 7~n(T~Il State Fair, at Philadelphia,Oe ober. 
;f* ;zd[=l ) l 1885, i ho ‘-PNEUMATIC” dried 
4'ig T | a barrel of plpnlns In 50 nilu- 
J|E | ?-r -4 1 utes less time than the American. 
V& i ir3l The /Aminer man was distanced, 
f'l -—j- and withdrew before finishing. 
iSE25l AWARDED THE 
-Ki——V Silver Modal 
over all cumi pell tors at New Bug- 
land Fair, Ihsi. 
■ The operation is such iliut they 
retain the natural fruit flavor The 
- —■- » evaporation Is the most rapid, with 
least fuel. Send for Circulars. 
VERMONT FIRM MACHINE COMPANY, 
BELLOWS FALLS, VT. 
1 -WILLIAMS 
POINTS: 
Iron Frame, Steel ltearli>KS,vPosHlve Cut, No 
Si>rings, No BabbitL Metal, New Feed 
Rollers and Adjustment, 
Safety Fly Wheel. 
SEND FOR CIRCULAR AND PRICES. 
HIGGAMJM MANUFACTURING CORP., 
HICCANUM, CONN. 
Warehouse, . 38 So. Market Street, Boston, Mass 
E MPIRE DRIL L 
I 
• J «■ -• — '** - 
it 
Performs i«dverliHe«C t Oiroularn, aiid Essay 
“ How to BoIbo Wheat ,’ 1 u> fill who montioQ thu paper. 
EMPIRE DRILL CO. SHORTSVILLE.N.Y. 
Grain Threshers, Horse Powers, and Engines. 
Highest prize awarded these machines at the Npw 
York State Ag. Soc 's latest trial, over a large num¬ 
ber competing, A unde warranty and opportunity 
lor trial given. For full particulars address 
ST. JOHNSVILLE AGR’L WORKS. 
til, JoUubvillc, Mouttfouicry Co,, Now York. 
