THE RURAL flEW-YORKER. 
SEPTF2® 
ess 
fynmoxons. 
GOING. 
Oh bustle, bustle, fare you well. 
We’re sick and tired of your abuses; 
So don’t hang back, you’ve got to go, 
Or tournure self to other uses. 
—Detroit Free Press. 
A Suitable diet at sea—Rolls. —Burlington 
Free Press. 
Legal Inconsistency— Calling 40 pages 
of foolscap “ brief.” —The Chronicle. 
A W Oman’s life is made up of little things 
including a husband.— Washington Critic. 
There is no use crying over spilt milk. It 
may be three parts water. —New Ham pshire 
Patriot. 
The man in the moon must feel all broke 
up when he is reduced to his last quarter.— 
The Colonel. 
“This is a nice box to be in,” as the fellow 
said when he found himself locked up in a re¬ 
frigerator.— Dansville Breeze. 
A western man has name d his racing 
horse Bad Egg. He has discovered that 
bad egg cannot be beaten.— Yonkers States 
man. 
Some one who has noticed that lawn tennis 
suits are made loud this year, says that they are 
made so to go with the racquet.— Westboro 
Chronotype. 
Miss Braddon is just bringing out a novel 
entitled “The Fatal Three”. Wonder if the 
scene will be laid in front of a pawnshop?— 
Texas Success. 
Mr. Lazybones thinks it is lucky we are not 
centipedes, because it would be such dreadful 
work to button on fifty pairs of boots every 
time we wished to take a walk.— Youth's 
Companion. 
Little Emily; “Do you like coffee, Mr 
Watkins?” Old Mr. Watkins: “Certainly, 
dear.” Little Emily; “Well, you make such 
a noise swallowing, I thought perhaps it hurt 
you. Does it?” 
“ How did you manage to capture such a 
handsome wife, Mr. Tucker, when you are 
such a homely man?” “O, my good clothe 
did it; I just put on my best bib and tuck her.’ 
—Chicago * ribune. 
It has been learned that extremly tight 
lacing produces softening of the brain. It 
has long been known that softening of the 
brain produces extremely tight lacing.— 
Baltimore Democrat. 
“ What do you think of our church choir?’ 
asked a village mercbant of a traveling man. 
“It reminds me of a passage in Shakspeare 
“ Sweet nelles jangled harshly out of tune.’ 
—Merchant Traveler. ' 
Caller: “Your little dog doesn’t look 
very well this morning, Mrs. Hobson.” Mrs. 
Hobson: “No, poor little fellow! The baby’s 
crying kept him awake all night. He barked 
until nearly morning.”— Life. 
He: “What charming scenery? Look at 
those flowers, Miss Rougep^tte; are they not 
beautiful? They remind me of you.” She: 
“How? They are artificial.” He: “Ah, yes; 
but no one woul d ever know it.”— Truth. 
Mars: “What’s the racket down below 
there Venie?” Venus: “They’re having a 
kind of election battle on one of the smal 
planets, I believe.” Mars: “Well, roll up a 
few more clouds, will you? I can’t get any 
sleep.”— Time. 
Wife (in soiled wrapper, soiled collar and 
slippers down at heel, to husband who enters 
late): “Ah! John, you’re not a bit like what 
you used to be.” Husband (glancing at her 
dress): “Neither are you, my dear, neither 
are you.” —Boston Courier. 
My little four-year-old Mabel came to me 
the other morning to button her apron—which 
is ingeniously contrived to fasten behind for 
some unknown feminine reason—and thought¬ 
fully remarked: “If I could get behind 
myself I could do it.”— Babyhood. 
A Conductor poked his head in the door 
of a car and called out the station “ Saw 
yer,” whereupon a young man upon his 
wedding tour, who was about to kiss his bride, 
yelled back: “I don’t care if you did, sir; 
she’s my wife.” —West Haven Budget. 
Advertising. 
FORALL 9 30 a week and expenses 
paid. Samples worth $5 and particulars 
free. *P. O. VICKERY, Augusta, Maine. 
I 
FOR A GAME DINNER 
Young Housekeeper: “ Have you canvas-back ducks]? ” 
Butcher: “ No, but I have some nice geese.” 
Young Housekeeper: “ Very well, you may send a nice canvas-back goose.” 
THE SYRACUSE NURSERIES, 
OLD AND RELIABLE, 
ARE STILL OFFERING THE MOST COMPLETE ASSORTMENT OF YOUNG, SMOOTH, THRIFTY STOCK IN 
AMERICA. 
BUDDED APPLES, STANDARD PEARS. DWARF PEARS (High and Low Headed), 
PLUMS. CHERRIES, PEACHES, QUINCES, RUSSIAN APRICOTS, 
GOOSEBERRIES, CURRANTS, and a lull line ol 
ORNAMENTAL TREES, SHRUBS, etc. Also Extra Sized STANDARD PEARS of the Finest Quality. 
Special Inducements to Buyers in large quantities. Trade List out August 1st. 
SMITHS, POHELL & LAMB, Syracuse, N. V. 
THE COLD WATER DIP ( Thymo-Cresol) is a 
handy, sure,safe, abso¬ 
lutely NON-POISON- 
OUS REMEDY for 
Lice,Fleas,Ticks,Scab, 
all Insect Pests, all skin troubles, and many 
Diseases of Live-Stock. Used and recommen¬ 
ded by the leading Breeders and Veterinarians 
throughout the world. Send for Circular. 
T. W. Lawford & Co., Baltimore, Md. 
I T is a conceded fact that there is no better place in the U. 8. foi 
Nurserymen to sort up, Dealers to Pack, or Planters to order, 
than at the Painesville Nurseries, the aim of THE STORRS HARRI¬ 
SON CO. being to carry a full line of Fruit and Orna¬ 
mental Trees, Bulbs, Shrubs and Roses. Have a re¬ 
markably fine stock of Standard, High Top Dwarf and 
Dwarf Pear; Plum, Peach, Cherry, Apple, Quince, 
Russian and other Apricots. Grape Vines, both old 
and new. Currants, Gooseberries, Blackberries, 
Raspberries, Strawberries, etc. In fact a full line of 
Fruits and Ornamentals, both large and small. Prices 
Reduced to suit the times. Correspondence solicited. 
Price List Free. 34th YEAR. 700 ACRES. 24 GREENHOUSES. 
Address JHE STORRS & HARRISON CO., PAINESVILLE, LAKE CO., OHIO 
(0,000 AGENTS WANTED to supply FIFTY MILLION PEOPLE with 
THE LIFE OF 
BENHARRISON 
By the author of 
BEN HUR. 
Gan. Lew Wallace, the eminent Author, Statesman, Diplomat, and . 
the only authorised Bio', -nhy. “ No man living more comp etent’’- „ 
read Ben Hur and w ien Harrison by tame author. Selling 
Money Making bo< - Outfit* 50 ct*. HUBBARD BROS.. Philadelphia or Chicago. 
It positively prevents Butter 
from ever becoming Rancid, 
and causes it to retain its freshness, aroma, and flue 
flavor for months—even when exposed to atmospher¬ 
ic influences for a long time. 
Endorsed by the leading agricultural papers. Also 
by Creameries, Dairymen, and others throughout the 
country. Retail Price at New York, 224 lb. Sack, $4. 
Hold your J une Butter lor a J anuary Price. 
Send for Circular. 
Butter Preservative Salt Co., 
vimtice and Factory: 
Foot of West 11th Street, New York City. 
ESTABLISHED 1852. 
JACKSON BROT1IEB8, 
NEW 70SX STATS DRAIN TILE AND FIFE WOSXS, 
MAIN OFFICE, 76 THIRD AVE., ALBANY, N. Y. 
ROUND, SOLE AND HORSE-SHOE TILE 
Over 13 inches long. By cargo or smallest quantity. 
Our new improved machinery makes superior round 
and sole tile, excell'ng anything offered heretofore. 
First Premium wherever exhibited. Price list on ap¬ 
plication. Drain Tile machines for sale. • 
ISLAND HOME STOCK FARM. 
Sa'vage & Farnum,Impor¬ 
ters and Breeders of Per 
cheron and French Coach 
Horses.IslandHomeStock 
Farm, Grosse Isle,Wayne 
County, Mich. We offer a 
very large stud of horses 
to select from,we guaran¬ 
tee our stock,makeprlces 
reasonable, and sell on 
easy terms, Visitors al 
ways welcome. Large 
catalogue free. Address 
Savage & Farnum, 
Detroit, Mich. 
I’ercheron Horses. 
French Coach Horses. 
WHITMAN’S 
NEWPATENT 
REBOUND 
PL UNGER P ERPETUAL 
Guaranteed superior 
toany Lever Press now 
.. _ made*for Hay, Straw and 
Wool. Always victorious. Received First Premium 
at all prominent fairs for past five years, over 
pederick and others. Illustrated Catalogue Free. 
WHITMAN AGR’L CO.. St. Louis. JK» 
We also make the best Steam Power Press'ln 
America. 
CANTON IKON ROOFING CO., 
CANTON, OHIO. 
MANUFACTURERS OF THE H. W. SMITH PATENT 
STBEIj nOOFIIMGr. 
Made of genuine Sheet Steel and Calamined Steel. Also 
CORRUGATED IRON Roofing and Siding. Beaded Iron Celling and 
ldlng, Crimped Edge Hoofing and Siding, Roof Paint. Roofer’s Paper, etc. 
Send for Catalogue, Price List, erd Samples. Me I '*x Rural New-Yorker. 
CENTS WILL GET THE 
National Stockman 
andFARMER ev wSp m S g 
The BEST and BRIGHTEST FARMER’S PAPER. 
PAGES, CLEAN, FRESH AND RELIABLE. 
DEPARTMENTS EACH ABLY EDITED. 
O ET M *1.00 for five copies to January 1,1889. 
O Ei IV W*1.60for 1889, and get balance of’88 free. 
Samples Free. AXTELL. RUSH & CO.Pitttburgh, P«. 
GOOD NEWS 
TO LADIES- 
"Threatestmaucements ever of 
fered. Now’s your time to gei 
up orders for our celebrated 
Teas and Coffees, and secure 
a beautiful Gold Band or Moss 
re-Mjm Rose China Tea Set, Dinner Set, 
Moss Rose Toilet Set, Watch, Brass Lamp, 
VAVSUI DHUU iUUDO J-hUOt. A *-'*'*'9 •• --J V- 1 
or Webster’s Dictionary. For full particulars address 
THE GREAT AMERICAN TEA CO., 
’. O. Box28». 81 and 88 Vesey St., New York. 
CIDER 
MACHINERY 
Knuckle Joint and Screw Press¬ 
es, Graters, Elevators, Pumps 
etc. Send ror Catalogue. 
Boomer & Boschert PressCo., 
118 W.Water St., S RA.CUSE.N.Y. 
^*llklC REVOLVERS. Bend stamp for price 
Va UIIO list to J. H. Johnston & Son, Pittsburg, Pa. 
| B .a ^ At the rate they nave been going th© 
Nil M If" Publio Domains will ail be gone In 6 
II I# III law rears Now is the time to secure as Rich 
———— land as the Sun shines on at $1.25 per 
acre. What better could be left for Children? Where these lands are: how to 
get them, as well a« for information about Homes or Employment in all State* 
and Territories. Send 10 Cents and receive the beautiful Engravings, a Picture 
OAQuo Panorama of America. Address THE WESTERN WORLD, Chicago, I1L 
