752 
THE RURAL NEW-YORKER. 
called the co-operative plan, by boarding at 
hotels, restaurants, etc., the larger part of 
the American people still “keep house.” In 
the average article upon the subject, all who 
are married and keep house are placed in one 
class, while those who live in the semi-com¬ 
munistic style which is becoming so preva¬ 
lent, are placed in auotber. This is a mistake. 
Those who are making or keeping homes 
should be placed in one class, while those who 
are simply keeping house or helping to keep 
house and the great mass of the houseless and 
homeless (using the word in its true sense), 
should be placed together in the other. It is 
not from the houses of the past, but from the 
homes ot the past that our great men have 
come. It is homes , not houses that we want 
to create and perpetuate. It is the old-fash¬ 
ioned home aud old-fashioned “home-keeping” 
not the houses and the house keeping of the 
olden time which need to be perpetuated. 
The home of to-day is not like the home of 
our grandfather or even of our father, the 
very recollection of which is as a benediction. 
The true home is not the creation of a day; 
it is the result of years of consecration and 
sacrifice. It is not a husband, wife and chil¬ 
dren; it is not four walls, a piano and a va¬ 
riety of household utensils and furniture. It 
is a distinct creation—marvelous aud intri¬ 
cate. It must have material substance—a 
body—but it must have more than a mere 
transient mortal existence; it must have a 
soul, imperishable and immortal. As is the 
body without the soul, so is the house with¬ 
out the spirit of the home. The great error 
of the American people is the supposition that 
this spirit which must inspire every “home- 
keeper” is something which can be conjured 
up in a moment. 
A young lady spends the very best years of 
her life in studying music or painting or 
type-writing or in acquiring some other more 
or less useful or ornamental accomplishment. 
Her thoughts are entirely upon herself aud 
society. It is “ ignoble and unwomanly ” for 
her to think of getting married or at least to 
make it the object of her ambition. She 
leads an indefinite, uncertain “ anxious aud 
aimless ” sort of a life. A young man spends 
the best years of his life in study, in becoming 
acquainted with the world aud in sowing his 
wild oats (these words have a terrible signi¬ 
ficance when considering this subject), and in 
otherwise unfitting himself for domestic life. 
All his thoughts, habits and tastes are inde¬ 
pendent of, if not antagonistic to home life. 
A more or less romantic incident or accident 
brings the two together; they fondly imagine, 
as all others do in like circumstances, that all 
they have to do is to get married and the 
Heavens will open, and the Spirit of Home 
will descend like a dove upon them aud they 
will forthwith become ‘home-keepers.” Alas! 
the spirit does not come; a few years of 
house keeping, a dreary struggle for sub¬ 
sistence, a few children to follow in their 
parents’ footsteps aud all is over. 
Who is responsible for this most lamentable 
failure? The girl? Yes. And is the young 
man not equally to blame? Most certainly 
they are both to blame; they have both 
sinned, and both suffer in consequence; but 
they are not alone to blame; writers and 
speakers who advocate the so-called “ higher 
education” of woman; who talk and write 
about a sphere for woman outside aud inde¬ 
pendent of the marriage relation are ac¬ 
cessories to the crime against society, aud are 
punished by conscience if not by public 
sentiment. The worst of it is that they cite 
just such cases (which are very largely the 
consequences of their example and teaching.) 
to prove the undesirableuess of the marriage 
relation. 
The result of the recent inquiry which has 
been made by some of our leading dailies as 
to why young men do not marry, has been 
some very interesting developements as to the 
ideas which prevail among young men and 
women as to the income required to support a 
home. The fundamental idea seemed to bfe 
that marriage and the creation of a home 
were chiefly matters of dollars and cents. 
Given plenty of money, the average young 
man was willing to get married, but with his 
(the average) income he could not seriously 
think of such a thing. It is true that style— 
the house depends upon money, but the home 
does not. I have yet to know of a single in¬ 
stance where a devoted couple properly edu¬ 
cated, willing to sacrifice self for the mutual 
good and who have established a home in the 
old-fashioned way and have devoted their 
lives to the materializing of the true spirit, 
the soul of the home, have not led successful, 
happy liv,s, no matter how small their income 
or how large their family, j. H. Griffith. 
FEAR IN CHILDREN. 
It would be interesting to hear the experi¬ 
ences of some of the Rdrat. mothers regard¬ 
ing this quality in their children. Bedtime, 
which should be the “ children’s hour,” and 
the happiest of the whole twenty four to them, 
was always a torture to me. Had I been old 
enough, 1 should probably have compared it 
to the horrors of the Star Chamber, and the 
Inquisition; as it was, I am sure my baby mind 
considered it an invention of the Arch Fiend 
himself. Until the hour when darkness fell 
upon the face of the earth, I was an uncom¬ 
monly brave and foolhardy child. I rode the 
wildest horses, made the most daring leaps, 
and walked the narrow railing of the railroad 
bridge while the train was passing under 
nearly a hundred feet below, but at night 1 
was assailed by all the unseen powers of dark¬ 
ness. It was not that my mind was filled 
with horrible tales of gnomes and malignant 
fairies; my parents were too orthodox tostim 
ulate my imagination by such reading. Pil¬ 
grim’s Progress was as near as I got to the 
laud of fairies and romance. 
I was not allowed a light. Candles and a 
species of lighting fluid called “camphene,” 
were then in vogue; the former could not have 
been regulated, and the latter was too danger¬ 
ous if not too expensive. So I lay with every 
nerve strained and tense, listening, while 
hands and feet grew cold with fear, for the 
horrible “something” which I was sure would 
appear. All this may seem exaggerated, but 
to me it was very real and tragical. After 
all these years the memory of the frightened 
child lying with wide open eyes, seeking to 
peer into the blackness, or cowering under the 
bed clothes at some howl or shriek of the 
wind whistling through the great pine tree 
that swayed back and forth against my shut- 
ters, is very present and very pitiful. 
How did I become such a coward? That I 
do not know. Perhaps some one had at some 
time frightened me for fun, as silly people 
have a fashion of doing with timid children. 
It was certainly not an inherited tendency, 
for my boys have from earliest infancy gone 
to bed in the dark without the slightest pro¬ 
test. Undoubtedly had they shown any fear, 
I should have fostered it by yielding to them, 
instead of reasoning it away, remembering 
my own timidity. I do not know if this per¬ 
fect lack of fear at being left alone at night 
is unusual or not. When Baby Boy was three 
years old, as soon as he had lisped “Our 
Father, ’ aud “Now I lay me,” he would say, 
“Now put out the light, go out of the room 
aud shut the door,” much to the amusement 
of an occasional friend who witnessed the 
proceeding. 
If a child shows any fear of being left alone 
or of the dark, it is wrong to trade upon it as 
a matter of punishment. It is a cruelty that 
should be punishable by law, to shut such a 
child up in a dark closet or room. There are 
some people who seem to take a ghastly sort 
of pleasure in frightening children by playing 
ghost, or covering their faces with a horrible 
mask. To say that it is only in fun, is no ex¬ 
cuse. There is no “fun” in such work, and 
parents should, if possible, guard their chil¬ 
dren against the silliness of servants or 
friends who may be inclined to play such 
pranks. a mother. 
THE DISTRICT SCHOOL-MA’AM HAS 
HER SAY. 
Children are not children now a days. “A 
strange paradox, ” did you say? Maybe so. 
But think a little, and tee if it isn’t true. 
1 am a firm believer in independence, and I 
think that a child should be taught to 
depend on himself at quite an early age; but 
it is not inde pendence for him to do as he 
pleases without regard to his parents’ wishes, 
and yet how many parents allow their child¬ 
ren this so-called “independence of thought 
aud action.” 
Most children are born wi th very strong 
powers of observation, im itation and a longing 
for freedom lying dormant in them, and these 
attributes soon develop. See how a child only 
a few months old gets to watch you and notice 
what is going on around him; then when he is 
just learning to lisp out his first words, he 
tries to say and do what he hears and sees 
done by his elders; and see how delighted he 
is when he finds out that he can walk alone! 
As he gets older, what pleasure it gives him 
when he finds out something new! 
Mothers, can’t we encourage these inborn 
powers in our children, and develop them in 
the right direction, instead of snubbing them 
with “Don’t bother me now; I’m busy,” or 
else letting them develop themselves in the 
wrong way? First of all teach your little one 
that you are his best friend (after his blessed 
Master), and show it in all your actions—not 
in words only. Don’t be afraid to say “Not 
to him when you know it is best for him, but 
be careful not to deny him a thing out of 
mere caprice; and whenever possible, give 
hint your reasoq for deuyjpjg what be wants, 
A child possessed of all his faculties will 
find occasion many times a day to run to his 
mother with all sorts of queries. 
Don’t discourage him in his search after 
knowledge, but answer him to the best of 
your ability; or if you happen to be so en¬ 
gaged that you can’t answer him just then, 
tell biro so kindly, and tell him to come to 
you when you have finished what you are do¬ 
ing and then you will tell him. 
Always listen patiently to his childish con¬ 
fidences, and encourage him to confide in you; 
it will save you many bitter regrets afterwards. 
A question that has often occurred to me is, 
should a pretty child be told of her peisocal 
beauty? 
Probably you will promptly answer in the 
negative. Now listen a minute: At some 
time or other, it may not be till your girl is 
growing well into young-womaDhood, some 
one is sure to compliment her on her beaut}'; 
and the way in which many of these “compli¬ 
ments” are paid is very harmful, especially to 
young girls who are just old enough to feel 
the natural pleasure of receiving attention 
from their associates 
It seems to me that it would be kinder for 
her mother to tell her, in whatever way she 
thinks best, of her beauty, at the same time 
telling her "Who it is that has given her this 
outward form, and teaching her to make her 
heart and mind as fair. pandanus. 
GOLDEN GRAINS. 
The stronger and more fixedly the soul is 
set on one object, so much the more does it 
find power to overcome all difficulties and 
despise all that may be only outward or ac¬ 
cidental. 
No life is so fine as that one which culti¬ 
vates itself for the good of its fellow-men. 
Such a man is saved from selfishness and con¬ 
ceit. He stands in a peculiar relation to the 
world of ideas and the world of action, and 
is demanded by both. 
He who is proud of his work should be 
ashamed of himself. 
When you feel the fierce spirit rising, do 
not speak until you can speak calmly, what- 
ever L may be the provocation. Words do lots 
of mischief. Resolve, as God helps you, that 
you will imitate our Savior, who was always 
gentle, and when he was reviled, reviled not 
again. . 
The way to speak with power is to speak 
honestly. . 
When the love of God has taken possession 
of the soul, and the whole man is consecrated 
to his service, life loses its fragmentary char¬ 
acter, and one guiding stream seems to run 
through it. Then all varying and disjointed 
duties find a fixed and appointed place, and 
though, through the weakness of the flesh, the 
surface of things may seem to be ruffled, 
there is a strong under-current that cannot 
be diverted from its object. 
That is the best looking-glass which shows 
the truest face. 
* 
You cannot help having religion taught in 
the school if you have a man or a woman 
there. 
Have more than thou showest, 
Speak less than thou knowest, 
Lend less than thou owest. 
A ministry without love, however educated 
or otherwise efficient, is as “sounding brass.”. 
It takes all our learning to make things 
plain. 
Sam Jones says many say there are 
two roads, one to heaven and one to hell. 
I say only one road. It leads from heaven 
to hell. The only difference is the direction 
you travel; if you are traveling to hell 
and want to go to heaven, all you have 
to do is to turn squarely around, renounce 
your sins, aud start to heaven. God is a good 
paymaster and will keep His promises, giving 
each his due whether good or bad. He tells 
you what to do and what He will do for you 
if you obey Him, so don’t be afraid to take 
Him at His word or try to get possession of 
the wages before the work is done. Have 
faith. ”. 
It is not our beliefs that frighten us half so 
much as our fancies.—[O. W. Holmes .]. 
Every noble life leaves the fiber of it in¬ 
terwoven forever in the work of the world. 
—[Ruskin . 
Sorrow is not an accident, occurring now 
and then. It is the woof which is woven into the 
warp of life, and he who has not discerned the 
divine sacredness of sorrow, and the profound 
meaning which is concealed in pain, has 
yet to learn what life is. The cross, mani¬ 
fested as the necessity of the highest life, alone 
interprets it.— [f 1 , W• Robprfson,, 
Blessed are those happy natures who always 
look on the bright side! Their buoyancy of 
spirit lifts them above many of the ills and 
discomforts of life. Sorrow does not long 
press them down, for their native elasticity 
soon rebounds : for the darkest cloud has a 
sdver lining. They chter and hearten the 
weak and despondent. They lessen sorrow 
and increase joy. Sunshine, light, warmth 
attend them. Theirs is a beautiful w r orld_ 
For information on coloring butter send to 
Thatcher Mfg. Co., Po’sdam, N. Y., manufac¬ 
turers of Thatcher’s Orange Butter Color, the 
finest goods in the world for that purpose.— 
Adv. 
Domestic (Scononnj 
CONDUCTED BY MRS. AGNES E. M. CARMAN. 
A DEPARTURE. 
ThE Rural people live in a lonely place— 
we have told you ihat before—three miles 
from a church. Why not have devotional 
exercises at home Sunday evenings? Ihat 
was the thought that occurred to us a few 
weeks ago. The suggestion was acted upon 
by the members of our little circle. We have 
met together every Sunday evening since and 
every succeeding meeting makes us regret 
that this form of worship had not been 
adopted years ago. Every meeting suggests 
improved plans for the future. At pres¬ 
ent our exercises are as follows: First, 
a chapter from the Bible is read. 
Each member is then requested to give 
his or her version of the essential parts. This 
discussion occupies something like an hour. 
Then two of the circle previously appointed 
read or speak extemporaneously, (as each 
prefers) a^lecture or sermon. Comment upon 
these addresses is then in order. Thus far the 
exercises have ended with the singing ot tw® 
or more well-known hymns. This plan of 
Sunday evening devotional exeicises is re¬ 
spectfully commended to those who, like the 
“Rural people,” live in secluded country 
homes. 
We propose, fora time at any rate, to quote 
from these discourses. Our readers will kind¬ 
ly consider that they are taken alike from 
those of fifteen ur fifty years of ago. The fol¬ 
lowing are extracts from last Sunday even¬ 
ing’s talks: 
Beware how ye chide! In a majority of 
cases where one sedulously tries to serve an¬ 
other and places that other under a load of 
obligations—in the end he will hate him. 1 
say a “ majority ” of cases. There is a big 
minority, thank God! Aud the minority will 
be found among those grpat hearts who, like 
Christ, are willing to die for the world's good. 
The new friend who assumes to admonish or 
to censure—to lay down the Gospel$-had better 
beware. 
* * * 
Is it a part of the duty of good people to oo- 
cupy themselves with the failings or assumed 
shortcomings of others? How do you know 
that the necessities of the one reproached do not 
fully justify the act or thing reproved? Or 
that if you were placed in precisely the same 
position, you would not act the same? How 
do you know but that life’s associations, sur¬ 
roundings, religion and social influences may 
fully justify in one what seems wicked in an¬ 
other? Is it the part of a good soul to exer¬ 
cise himself over these things? If so, how 
shall he do it? Must he oil his tongue for the 
occasion! Scarcely, that would be insincere. 
Diplomacy is a compromise, aud compromises 
never do justice to both sides. How must he 
make the wound? And when the wound is 
made, must he oil it or prick it? 
* * * 
It is very easy to judge another, but we are 
a great deal more lenient towards our¬ 
selves. We are willing to view our own faults 
through the large end of the telescope, while 
we use the small end, or a powerful micro¬ 
scope, for those of our neighbors—a case of 
the mountain and the mouse, as it were. 
PiswUituMUiS 
When Baoy was sick, we gave her Castorla,; 
When she was a Child, she cried lor Castorla, 
When she became Miss, she clung to Castorla, 
When she had Children, she gave them OastorlP 
