APRIL 21 
ijnmo vents. 
A SOG. 
’Tis the first day of sprig, 
Ad all the birds sig 
Their sweet, tedder sogs to the roses; 
The lilies will bloob 
Od code widter’s toob - 
Such a tipe we’re havig, oh, Boses! 
— Washington Critic. 
Ripening corn is a golden earer.— New Age. 
No matter how big the job the printer will 
always stick it out.— Drift. 
Song for the farmer: The spring time is 
coming, oh, hoe!— Washington Critic. 
A tight shoe is like summer. Why? be¬ 
cause it makes the corn grow, of course.— El- 
dora Ledger. 
A show spoken of as “a rare entertainment” 
proved to be a performance not well done.— 
N. O. Picayune. 
Never ask a crust of a crusty man. Ask 
him for meat, and he will give you a cold shoul¬ 
der with pleasure.— Boston Budget. 
In Sangapore, if a lover can catch his 
adored in a canoe race he may marry her; 
hence the expression, canoebial bliss. — Nor¬ 
wich Bulletin. 
Ambiguous. —Patent-Medicine man: “Use 
my medicine once, sir, and you’ll never use any 
other.” Patient: “I don’t suppose I ever 
should.”— Prairie Farmer. 
Bobley: ‘Didn’t see any April fools yester¬ 
day, I suppose, Grafton?” Grafton: “l’b wud 
byself. Hatchew! Cabe out id a dew sprig 
suit, you dow.”— Puck. 
Mrs. Houlihan: “Arrah, Mickey, andean 
this be yourself, all blazhin’ wid diamonds?” 
Houlihan: “Troth, it is, Mither. Oi was 
dhrivin’ a back the day whin the blizzard 
sthruckNew York.”— Life. 
Omaha has a new paper called Hoof and 
Horn. The editor will give his attention to 
the horn department, while the business mana¬ 
ger will hoof around after money to pay the 
printers. We wish our new contemporary 
success.— Puck. 
“What do you publish a paper for, I’d like 
to know 1” sarcastically inquired an irate 
politican, tackling a country editor. “For 
two dollars a year, in advance,” responded 
the editor, “and you owe for four years. 
Washington Critic. 
Husband (exasperated): “What in the 
mischief did you do with the snow-shovel I 
brought home last night?” Wife: “What did 
you expect I would do with it, John? I tied a 
red ribbon around the handle and put it in 
the parlor.”— Farm Field and Stockman. 
Standing in a crowded theater, some one 
leaned on his back, thrusting his head over 
his shoulder, Saphir drew out his handker¬ 
chief aud wiped the man’s nose violently. The 
latter started back. “Oh, 1 beg your pardon,” 
said Saphir, “1 though it was mine.”— Sacra¬ 
mento Bee. 
Kansas City Physician (in upper window): 
“Who’s that? I can’t go out in the middle of a 
night like this, even to save life!” Stranger: 
“I hear you’ve got a corner lot for sale, and 1 
want to see it. Physician: “Stay right where 
you are. I’ll be down in a minute.”— New 
York Sun. 
Wife: “What is meant, John, by the phrase 
‘carrying coals to Newcastle?’ ” Husband: “It 
is a metaphor, my dear, showing the doing of 
something that is unnecessary.” Wife: “I 
don’t understand. Give me an illustration, 
a familiar one.” Husband: “Well, if I was to 
bring you home a book entitled ‘How to Talk,’ ” 
that would be carrying coals to Newcastle.” 
—Boston Courier. 
Ernest, a live-year-old, was awarded first 
prize for children’s sayings for the following: 
Being sent up stairs with a small basket of 
potatoes, after tugging them up half way, he 
set the basket down to get a fresh hold. An 
aunt of his standing at the head of the stairs 
said to him: “What is the matter, Ernest? Is 
the basket heavy?” “No,” he says, “the bas¬ 
ket ain’t heavy, but the taters is.”— Boston 
World. 
WEAVER GROANS 
Are the Finest in Tone, Style, Finish and general 
make up of any goods made. Guaranteed for 6 years. 
Send for Catalogue, testimonials and terms, free, to 
Wcuvcr Organ and Plano Co., 
Factory, York, Pa. 
NEW PRACTICAL DEHORNER, 
New Cattle Tags and New Water Heater. Agents 
wanted. Send for circular. 
II. II. HAAFF, Kox 193. Chicago, III. 
PEERLESS DIES 
Are the BEST. 
Sold by Druggists. 
AN INTERIOR. 
Professor (who has been giving simple lessons in physiology): “Where is your heart, dear?” 
Mabel: “Here.” 
Professor: “And where is y r our liver?” 
Mabel (indignantly): “I haven’t any. Cows have livers.” 
Professor: “Oh, yes, you have.” 
Mabel (after some thought): “Well, then, where is my bacon?” 
C.C.BRIGG5 &C? 
'I 5 APPLETON 5T. BOSTON MASS. 
' MANUFACTURERS OF 
GRAND -SQUARE- •<£>• UPRIfiHT 
PIANO FORTES 
§FM(EFULl)E5l9N5 .. 50 LID (CONSTRUCTION ' 
Mat(hl&s$ tone • • Beautiful Tinish. 
fhe Great Sutter Herd! 
HOLSTEIN-FRIESIAN CATTLE, 
CLYDESD1LE, PERCHERON, FRENCH COACH AND HAMBLETONIAN 
HORSES, BERKSHIRE AND CHESHIRE SWINE. 
The Lakeside Herd of Holstein-Friesians stands un¬ 
rivaled in average production of Milk and Butter. All interested 
are invited to send for Catalogue, giving complete records and pedi- 
, grees of every animal in the herd, and to personally investigate the 
| truth of this statement before purchasing. A large and very choice 
stud of Clydesdale Horses of all ages, fine young Percheron Stallions, 
iiiiik'iWBRR* elegant Imported French Coach Stallions, Standard Bred Hambletonian 
150 Cows ill Advanced Registry Stallions, of the best trotting strains. Registered Berkshire and 
Cheshire Swine. Prices low for quality of stock. 
SMITHS, POWELL & LAMB, Syracuse, N. Y. 
Tn writing always mention The Rural New-Yorver. 
ISLAND HOME 
STOCK FARM. 
Savage & Farnum,Impor¬ 
ters and Breeders of Per¬ 
cheron and French Coach 
Horses,IslandHomeStock 
Farm, Grosse Isle,Wayne 
County, Mich. We offer a 
very large stud of horses 
to select from,weguaran- 
tce our stock, make prices 
reasonable, and sell on 
easy terms, Visitors al¬ 
ways welcome. Large 
catalogue free. Address- 
Savage & Farnum 
Detroit, Mich. 
Percheron Horses, 
French Coach Horses. 
ALLEN’S NEW SWIVEL PLOW 
AND OTHER SPRING BUI.BS, E I O. 
Our Descriptive List of above will be mailed, on application, 
to any of our friends who have not yet received it. 
All requiring HIGH GRADE VEGETABLE OR FLOWER 
SEEDS, should not fail to send also for our priced 
GENERAL CATALOGUE OF 8FFl>8. 
The Best Swivel Plow made. Swings on Shoe, in¬ 
stead of on beam. ( HILLED. Guaranteed to clean 
in any soil. Spring Lock. Has a loose slip above the 
point which takes the wear from the beam. Has been 
thoroughly tested. Does nice work on level land. 
Nicely finished; weighs 138 pounds. Satisfaction guar¬ 
anteed. Liberal discount to agents. Price SI 1. 
Manufactured by F. K. ALLEN A' CO., 
Wbitesville, Allegany Co., N. Y. 
JOHN SAUL’S 
WASHINGTON NURSERIES. 
OUR CATALOGUE OF 
NEW, HAKE AND BEAUTIFUL 
PLANTS 
For 1888 will be ready In February It contains list of 
all ilie most beautiful and Rare Greenhouse and Hot¬ 
house plants in cultivation, as well as all novelties of 
merit well grown and at very low prices. Every 
plant lover should have a copy. 
(IRC III IIS.— A very large stock of choice East In¬ 
dian. American, etc. Also Catalogue of Roses. Or 
chlds, Trees, etc. All free to applicants. 
JOHN SAUL, Washington, D. C. 
J.M. Thorburn & Co..15 JohnS:NewYork. 
/ 
$6 
PUMP FOB spra ying fruit trees use Lewis’ Combination Force Pump. It is 
i w ivi i without an equal and makes Three Com- tfr»n n • »i n . -r n m r rner 
FREE g 1 . 616 Machlnes 
. YOU CAN GET ONE FREE. 
lend Name to LEWIS & COWLEb, (nlskill, New York. 
THE STODDARD CREAMERY 
CARNATION PINKS the new beautiful paper 
flower. Every refined lady crazy to make them. Full 
printed directions is cents. Flowerall made and direc¬ 
tions 50 cents postpaid. C. F. LAD, Abington, Mass. 
The G. H Bushnell Co. 
Manufacturers of all kinds of 
Latent Improved 
Cider Machinery, 
TH0MPS0NVILLE, CONN. 
St nd for new catalogue. 
Rlease memi m Rural Nsw-Yorker when writing. 
WITH SURFACE SKIMMING ATTACHMENT, t, 
w t&££&SlRi! lM the most popular. 
HAS MOKE GOOD POINTS THAN ANY ON 
THE MARKET. Send for description. 
Address 
STODDARD CHURN 
Made of White Oak, without Floats or natdicrs. 
NINE SIZES for Dairy and Factory. 
FOB circulars of the 
Best line of Dairy and Factory Goods made, 
MOSELEY & STODDARD MFG. CO., POULTNEY. VT, 
GOOD NEWS 
TO LADIES. 
Greatest Inducements ever of¬ 
fered. Now’s your time to get 
up orders for our celebrated 
Teas and Coffees, and secure 
a beautiful Gold Band or Moss 
_ Rose China Tea Set, Dinner Set, 
Gold Band Moss Rose Toilet Set, Watch, Brass Lamp, 
or Webster’s Dictionary. For full particulars address 
THE GREAT AMERICAN TEA CO„ 
V. O. Box 289. 81 and 83 Yesey St., New York. 
- - a e 
you see it; WUdom 1 b getting it 
A. Nail Puller: B, Monkey 
Wrench and Vise; C, Hammer; A 
1), large Gas Pliers; K, Pincers; 
F,Wire Cutter; G .small Gas Pliers; 
II, Nut Cracker. For farmers, doc¬ 
tors, horsemen. Every family needs 
it—city or country. Sold by hard¬ 
ware trade. If your dealer is out, 
we will send direct on receipt of pnee. 
Tools, 10 inch, weight 1% lbs., 81.25. —— 
IS > 51 —weight 2M lbs. 81.50. Polished, 26 cents extra. 
MOIIEL MFG. CO, 195 Huntingdon St. Pliila. Pa. Sole 
BEST CAST STEEL, 
Patent Applied f 
AGENTS 
WANTED 
„ E 
Every part 
a .Strong 
Practical 
Tool. 
AHEAD OF ALL COMPETITION 
18 8 8 . 
Lawn Mower 
FOURTEEN SIZES FOR HAND USE. 
Weighing from 21 to 51 Pounda. 
THREE SIZES FOR HORSE POWER. 
GRAHAM, EMLEN & PASSMORE,. 
PATENTEES & MANUFACTURERS, 
631 Market St,, Philadelphia, Pa,. 
