349 
THE RURAL NEW-YORKER. 
commercial horticulture that a woman land 
scape gardener would be regarded as a matter 
of course. 
* * * 
When women fail in any occupation outside 
of those we consider purely feminine, the fail¬ 
ure may usually be laid to lack of energy or 
deficiency of training. But women who 
strike out a new line very rarely do fail, prob¬ 
ably because they are too conservative to 
attempt anything beyond their powers. The 
trouble in many of our employments, as we 
have often said before, is that we are not suf¬ 
ficiently trained. A woman who takes up an 
occupation, merely as a stop-gap until she 
marries is not going to bo a brilliant success. 
We must act as if it was to be a life 
work, and one in which we are to 
excel if we hope to make a satisfactory 
living. Take typewriting and stenography, 
for example. A bright young woman who 
earns $15 a week without any trouble gave as 
a reason for her success the fact that every¬ 
thing she knew she had learned thoroughly, 
She could write rapidly and correctly in two 
languages; could spell well and indite both 
grammatically and gracefully. But,as she said, 
many a girl who held the same sort of position 
was working for $0 a week, simply because 
she had not learned her business properly. 
Poor spelling or defective inditing would take 
a good many dollars off the week’s wages. It 
is the same in everything, and no woman 
will be a successful wage-earner if she ignores 
such a plain business principle. 
“WIKKEY.” 
I am greatly pleased with the success of my 
- plan for circulating this delightful, and 
really excellent little book. I have received 
some thirty requests for it from the Rural 
sisters, all written in the kindliest terms of in¬ 
terest in the idea. The publishers have been 
ordered to forward these copies to the ad¬ 
dresses given. I wish particularly to express 
my pleasure in the letter of one dear lady who 
kindly sends stamps for postage and “feels al¬ 
most afraid to send for the book lest so many 
others may have written for it that it will be 
too great a drain upon my purse.” 
I will keep all the addresses which have 
been forwarded to me by Miss Taplin, and if 
there arc any others among those living in 
out-of the-way places who would like the book, 
I will send their addresses to some of those 
who first received the book, after having 
given them a sufficient length of time to read 
and lend it in their own neighborhood. I wish 
to thank all those who have written for the 
book, and hope that they will each time send 
it out with a little prayer that it may be in¬ 
strumental in doing good. palmetto. 
THE OTHER SIDE. 
S. A. 
Having read from time to time what is 
said about hired help, more particularly 
what Mrs. Fisher says, I feel like saying some¬ 
thing in their behalf. I have worked out 
both at home and abroad. Once I was hired 
by a lady to work near New York. I was 
told I should have to take care of three horses; 
when I got there I found there were 13. My 
place of rest was over a hennery, not a corn- 
crib, sumptuous as that may be out West. I 
was allowed to go in a back room to eat my 
meals. There was no end to the foolish wants 
of the family. The man of the house was very 
nice, and 1 know if he had had bis way there 
would have been more pleasant quarters for 
his help, but the rest of the family could not 
bear the sight of a hired man around the 
house. My next place was with an express¬ 
man, where I ate at the same table as the fam¬ 
ily, and had as good a room as any one could 
wish, with plenty of books and papers to road. 
According to my observations, those who 
make the most objections to having hired 
men in the house, are people who make great 
pretensions without any reason for it. 
I think that in most cases there would be 
more satisfaction on both sides if the hired 
men were better treated. I*have always said 
my boss is no better than myself further than 
he does better, and I see no reason why I 
should not lodge in his house and eat at his 
table, except when there is company. I would 
not expect to receive the many little favors 
that his son would, nor the same privileges. 
I should like to hear from others who work 
out. I think a paper printed expressly for 
arm help would take very well. 
THE ETHICS OF DINING. 
PALMETTO. 
furs subject is a very comprehensive one, 
and of equal interest to guest and hostess. 
The hostess must know how to cater to the 
special tastes of her guests, as well as the art 
of selecting her company, for to make a din¬ 
ner agreeable there must be harmony among 
the guests. The guest must know how to ap¬ 
preciate the compliment paid to his tastes, 
and both guest and host, or hostess, must un¬ 
derstand the art of conversation. Not so 
much the “art of conversation,” either, as the 
art of listening. It is this non ability to lis¬ 
ten, among American women more especially, 
that threatens to be the death of anything 
like that general conversation among a num¬ 
ber of people, which is the best stimulant to a 
bright mind. Perhaps you have never 
thought of the subject, but the next time you 
are at a dinner, or at a small evening assem¬ 
bly, notice the way in which conversation is 
carried on. An animated and interesting 
conversation is going on between Mr. A and 
Miss B, on some topic of interest, one which 
might become general and elicit an exchange 
of the wit of bright minds, when some vapid 
person at your side breaks up the attitude of 
listening of the company by giving you his or 
her views on that or some other subject. This 
is the signal for a complete break up, and soon 
couples all over the room are chattering away 
about matters of no universal concern. Pri¬ 
vate talk at a dinner table, says Charles Dud¬ 
ley Warner, is like private chat at a parlor 
musical, only it is more fatal to the general 
enjoyment. People whose idea of a dinner is 
private talk between two sets of neighbors 
should limit the company to two. They have 
no right to spoil what can Vie the most agree¬ 
able social institution that civilization has 
evolved. 
There is a wide difference between the pleas 
ure of eating, and the pleasure of the table, 
which is thus recognized by Brillat Savarin: 
“The former,” says he, “is common to us with 
the animals, and merely supposes hunger and 
that which is necessary to satisfy it.” (Ho 
might liavo added, to satisfy it agreeably, 
since there is not an overweening amount of 
pleasure in the mere satisfying of hunger, if 
the viands are not delectable.) “The pleasure 
of the table is peculiar to the human species, 
and implies care bestowed beforehand in pre¬ 
paring the repast, choosing the place, and 
assembling the guests. The pleasure of eating 
requires, if not hunger, at least appetite; the 
pleasure of the table is independent of both.” 
It will bo seen that in the highest sense, cer¬ 
tain accessories, such as expensive dainties, 
costly flowers, and delightful music, all of 
which were employed by the ancients to 
enhance the pleasures of the table, are un¬ 
necessary. Savarin says “the greatest pleasure 
is realized as often as we combine the four 
conditions, viz., cheer at least passable, good 
wine, pleasant companions, and plenty of 
time.” 
It may not sound modest, but I have such 
faith in my ability to play the part of an 
agreeable hostess, that I am not afraid to un 
dertake to give a dinner that shall be pleasur¬ 
able to the guests, even though I shall omit 
the second condition of the great gastronomer 
—wine. In the first place, a hostess must be as 
unconscious of the way in which her dinner is 
being served as if she herself were a guest 
Her servant or servants must be so trained 
that her mind need not be on the omelette 
souffld which Mary, the cook is preparing in 
the kitchen. 
She must attempt no more than she is sure 
of being able to carry out successfully. Even 
the temperature of the dining-room which 
should be from sixty to sixty-eight degrees, is 
an important element of success. A room in 
which one’s teeth chatter from cold is as dis¬ 
agreeable as one where you stifle from heat. 
Bad air will destroy the spirituality of a 
prayer-meeting or the conviviality of a din¬ 
ner party. The number should not exceed 
twelve in order that the conversation may be 
general. 
As to the choice of guests, “let their occu¬ 
pations be various and their tastes analo¬ 
gous,” says Savarin. “Let the men have wit 
without pretension, and the women bo pleas¬ 
ant without being coquettes.” 
It is not necessary to spend $125,000 in a 
single season in entertaining, as Mrs. Corne¬ 
lius Vanderbilt is said to have done, nor to 
freeze Roman punch in the heart of crimson 
and yellow tulips, nor to eat terrapin with 
gold spoons out of silver gilt canoes, in order 
to make your guests taste the pleasures of the 
table. Such entertainments as those of Mrs 
Hicks-Lord and Mrs. Bradley Martin, and the 
yellow and blue lunches, and pink, green and 
red dinners in which $20,000 are laid out for 
a few hours’doubtful pleasure, seem like a re¬ 
turn to the spleudid barbarism of Rome. 
Like the Australian digger who ate banknote 
sandwiches, the Roman gastronomer delighted 
to eat aud drink money. Clodius peppered 
his drink with powdered pearls, and had no 
appetite for the daintiest dish, unless his cook 
could assure him that a precious stone was 
one of its ingredients. Such extravagance 
as that of Mrs. Vanderbilt, while analogous to 
it, pales before that of Vitellius, who in less 
than eight months made away with seven mil¬ 
lions sterling (English money) in extrava¬ 
gances of the table. 
The “reason some men do not marry is,” 
says a writer, “because society sets too fast a 
pace for them and they cannot keep up with it.” 
Perhaps the best card a mother with marriage¬ 
able daughters could play would bo to give a 
series of dinner parties to eligible young men, 
at which the viands should be the product of 
the helpful and useful hands of her own fair 
daughters. 
FROM THE NOTE BOOK OF A FEMININE 
REPORTER. 
SELMA CLARE. 
I have noticed, ns doubtless you all have, 
that ruined children are by no means confined 
to the lower classes. Among the well-to-do, 
these may be divided into two classes: those 
who are ruined by the carelessness and indif¬ 
ference of their parents in leaving their moral 
culture almost entirely to servants, and those 
who are ruined by the over-indulgence and in¬ 
judicious attentions of grown-up relatives. I 
know a child who is fitted by natural graces 
of person and face, and quickness of mind, to 
be a very gem in the rosebud garden of girls, 
who is so spoiled by unwise petting from a 
half dozen big uncles as to be utterly disagree¬ 
able to strangers. All the endeavors of a very 
sensible mother aie set at naught by these lov¬ 
ing but unwise bachelor uncles who delight in 
teaching the poor child the pert sayings that 
make her unlovely in the eyes of everyone. 
Very few children are born with all natural 
or inherited graces of mind and disposition. 
There are ahnost always evil propensities to 
be eradicated and guarded against. The child 
of generous parents will often display a 
strange selfishness, which the wise parent 
must not only see, but take pains to uproot. 
Indolence, untruthfulness, a sullen or violent 
temper, jealousy and vanity may pass almost 
unnoticed in an otherwise lovely and attrac¬ 
tive child, but if you do not take pains to dis¬ 
cover and curb these grave faults vou will em¬ 
bitter the whole after life, not only of one, but 
of many. 
I know a family of seven boys from 15 to 
25 who are what would be termed, “good 
boys” and rightly so. Tney are obedient and 
affectionate to their parents and agreeable to 
each other. They are always at home in the 
old farm-house in the evenings and do their 
work uncomplainingly throughout the day, 
and yet not one of these very admirable boys 
will make a desirable husband, simply because 
their mother never taught them to be thought¬ 
ful for others. They will do whatever you 
ask them to do, but they would never think 
of doing anything unasked. They are not sel¬ 
fish, only thoughtless. A naturally lazy 
child will often escape all tasks because it is 
more trouble to get him to do a thing than to 
do it yourself. Tins is wrong in tho extreme, 
and unjust as well to him as to his more wil¬ 
ling brothers and sisters. We think too much 
of educating (he head now-a days, and not 
enough of heart education which is tho best 
of all. So much depends upon the natural 
character of a child, that it is impossible for 
the wisest person to lay down any fixed rules 
for the moral culture of children. A realiz- 
ing-sense of your responsibility, and an earn¬ 
est looking for guidance to One who is able 
and willing to direct you, will bo your surest 
safeguard. 
GOLDEN GRAINS. 
Karr says some people are always finding 
fault with Nature for putting thornson roses; 
I always thank her for having put roses on 
thorns. 
The life of a true Christian is like a beauti¬ 
ful river; it flows on in a steady even course; 
the storms of life may ruffle its surface, but 
the deep undercurrent moves on undisturbed.. 
A New Hampshire woman, aged 80 years, 
when asked recently how she had kept her¬ 
self so vigorous aud healthy, replied: “By 
never allowing myself to fret over things I 
cannot help, by taking a nap and sometimes 
two every day of my life, by never taking my 
washing, ironing and baking to bed with me, 
and by oiling all the various wheels of a busy 
life with an implicit faith that there is a brain 
aud a heart to this great universe, and that I 
could trust them both.”. 
A sound discretion is not so much indicat¬ 
ed by never making a mistake as by never 
repeating it. 
Rev. Bird Wilkins, of Chicago, says good 
bread, tender steak, nicely cooked potatoes 
and clear, fragrant coffee at breakfast will do 
more to make a man a Christian than soggy 
bread, burnt meat and warmed-over coffee, 
followed by half an hour of Bible reading and 
family prayers. 
Consume little time in regret. The best 
repentence is reformation. What tears of 
contrition are powerless to effect an altered 
life easily accomplishes. 
There is many a heart that dwells in its 
soul, like a hermit in his cell, its own sad and 
sorrowing confessor. 
If those who are the enemies of innocent 
amusement had the direction of the world 
they would take away the spring and youth; 
the former from the year and the latter from 
life. 
Seldom was ever any knowledge given to 
keep, but to impart; the grace of this rich 
jewel is lost in concealment. 
Dickens says: “It is an exquisite and beau¬ 
tiful thing in our nature that when the heart 
is touched and softened by some tranquil hap¬ 
piness or affectionate feeling, the memory of 
the dead comes over it most powerfully and 
irresistibly. It would almost seem as though 
our better thoughts and sympathies were 
charms, in virtue of which the soul is enabled 
to hold some vague and mysterious intercourse 
with the spirits of those whom we dearly 
loved in life. Alas! how often and how long 
may those patient angels hover above us, 
watching for the spell which is so seldom ut¬ 
tered and so soon forgotten.” . 
CONDUCTED BY MRS. AGNES E M. CARMAN. 
For a tropical effect at a trifling cost, we 
know of nothing more effective that a few 
plants ea’h of the several varieties of Ricinus. 
For a massed bed plant Ricinus Borboniensis 
arborcus in the center. Under very favorable 
conditions this grows to the flight of 15 feet. 
Follow with R. maerophyllus and R. Africa- 
nus. R. purpureus, sanguineus and Gibsonii 
finish the list. Thirty cents cover the cost of 
seed for a lied of this kind. Plant the seeds in 
the open ground tho middle of May in this 
lati'.ude. 
KITCHEN TALKS. 
ANNIE L. JACK. 
“I WISH it was only New Year’s,” said one 
of my neighbors in speaking of the spring 
work that looked so formidable ahead, and a 
young girl in another family said at another 
time to me: “I like winter best: I am sorry 
spring has come.” When I tried to fathom 
the reason for this reluctance to welcome this 
btautiful season, when all nature is glorious, I 
found it was because of overwork. Spring 
house-cleaning, summer cares and the preser¬ 
vation of fruit and other stores for another 
season, its many guests that are suie to come 
in the busiest season, all combined to make it 
the dreaded, instead of the best season of the 
year for enjoyment. I like to see my friends, 
but I often wish that they would come in the 
winter, w hen there is a dearth of society and 
one has leisure to enjoy their company. But 
I find people want to come when there is 
everything besides ourselves to enjoy: and 
the young girl in question knew the value of 
“summer friends,” and enjoyed the freedom 
of winter with its isolation as few young girls 
would. Bat friends are friends at any season 
of the year, and I would not class them with 
the pleasure-seekers, who think only of them¬ 
selves, and eDjoy your fruit aud flowers be¬ 
cause thev please them; and there is really no¬ 
thing in socie 1 life finer than country hospitali¬ 
ty-doors opening to rich and poor alike, the 
expectant host and hostess knowing your 
needs and always willing to share of their 
abundance—or lack of it. And I sometimes 
think the cause of the large-heartedness of 
young men from the country and of their 
success in life is due to the open ho-pitality 
they have seen in these early years—the care 
and interest that are shown to guests, who do 
not come to make a seven minutes’ call, but to 
eat your bread, ungrudgingly given. But the 
burden of summer toil must betaken up again; 
it has its lights and shadows, its storm and 
calm, and happy is that housekeeper whose 
kitchen routine is not disturbed by anything. 
The days are lengthening and one feels like 
working so long as daylight lasts; but it is a 
wise woman who takes care of her strength, 
not overdoing so that one has to pay the pen¬ 
alty afterward. Take a lesson from the men 
who are apt to take after dinner rest and 
evening, too, and profit by such a wise exam¬ 
ple, even if something must be left undone. 
CHILDREN AND FLOWERS. 
Although we have extensive gardens and 
avast variety of flowers, hardy and tender, 
immediately around our house we have no 
flower beds or borders, but a broad expanse 
When Baoy was stek, we gave her Castorta, 
When she was a Child, she cried tor Castoria, 
When she became Miss, she clung to Castoria, 
When she had Children, she gave them Castoria. 
