700 
«0V 24 
THE RURAL MEW-YORKER. 
tymwmm. 
Maude: *“EtheJ, dear, I have lots to teli 
you.’" Ethel: “I am all ears, darling.” 
Maude: “Ah you admit it at last.”— Town 
Topics. 
Emotional Customer (to photographer): 
“Oh, dear! This picture makes me look too 
old.” Photographer: “But, my dear madam, 
you will grow into it.'’--Life. 
“Your name, my child?” inquired the 
matron of the poor little waif that applied for 
charity. “ Mary Haddell.” “Little lamb!” 
feelingly exclaimed the tender-hearted matron. 
—Chicago Tribune. 
We notice from a perusal of the papers 
that “the flat has gone forth” again this year. 
We are glad of this. It would be an awfully 
lonesome year in which the fiat did not go 
forthing.— Boston Transcript. 
A Young damsel sent 25 cents and a post" 
age stamp in reply to an advertisement that 
appeared in a Boston paper of “How to make 
an impression,” and got for an answer. “Sit 
down in a pan of dough.”— Clyde Times. 
Agent: “So you want a pension eh?” Ap¬ 
plicant: “That’s what I’m here for.” Agent: 
“You’re a healthy-looking fellow. What’s 
your disability?” Applicant: “Caught cold 
in the draft of 1864.”— Burlington Free Press. 
Grocer: “Well, sonny, what can I do for 
you?” Sonny: “Me mudder sent me back wid 
the butter and wine. She sed she ordered 
new butter an’ old wine, an’she thinks you’ve 
got the wintages mixed up.”— New York Sun. 
Conductor (on Georgia railroad): “Do you 
mean to tell me, madam, that this child is not 
12 years old”? Madam (shortly): “Well, she 
wasn’t when this train started, but, land 
alive! there’s no telling how old she may be 
now” 1— Wichita Arrow. 
The man who has a brand-new typewriter, 
and leisure, and lots of linen-wove manuscript, 
cannot help feeling that he has it in his power 
to make a big literary reputation for himself, 
f he can only think of something to say. 
—Journal of Education. 
Small boy (to grocery clerk): “Come, 
can’t you get my things? I’m in an awful 
hurry! Mother wants them for supper!” 
Clerk: “What will you have, young man?’ 
Small boy: “A bar of Ivory soap and a 
quart of kerosene”— Detroit Free Press. 
Carper: “Are you making notes of what 
you will touch upon to-night?” Wyley (a 
political speaker): “No; I am making notes 
of what I mustn’t touch upon. The success¬ 
ful orator is he who knows what not to say, 
and has brains en'ough not to say it.”— Puck. 
Reginald: “Papa, can I have a piece of 
mince-pie”? Papa: “You may if you will 
promise not to tell mamma that I gave it to 
you”. (Pie is devoured in silence.) Reginald: 
“Please can I have some more”? Papa 
(sternly): “No more, sir”! Reginald ( after a 
pause): “If you don’t let me I shall tell 
mamma”. He got it.— Life. 
Summer Boarder: “What’s that yellow 
stuff you are feeding the chickens?” Farmer 
“That’s corn, mister. ” “ What is this in this 
bin?” “ That’s |wheat. ” “Humph! What 
are these other things. ” “ Rye, oats, barley— 
say, mister, what’s your business when at 
home in Chicago?” “I am a grain specula¬ 
tor”.— Omaha World." 
It Wife: “John, I had a fearful fall this 
morning.” Husband: “Howwasthat?” “I was 
going down ..the collar stairway. ” “And I 
suppose you slipped and fell?” “Yes.” 
“Well, you’ll have to be more careful. I just 
paid $12 to have the stairway painted and if 
you keep on you’ll have it all scratched and 
banged. ”— Nebraska State Journal. 
^Dentist: “Mr. Doppenheimer, you won’t 
feel me pull the tooth. The gas will make 
you insensible. You won’t know what’s 
going on.” Doppenheimer: “Ish dot so? 
Well, I dinks I coomes to-morrer.” Dentist: 
“But why not let me pull it to-day?” Dop¬ 
penheimer: “Well, I don’ yoost known how 
much monish der wash in my pocked-book.” 
—Life. 
SETH I 
COUGH KIUER 
(u^ (QU6HS 0 ( QtDS.| 
^CONsSfotJ ^ 
I have no hesitation in rec¬ 
ommending 
Dr. Seth Arnold’s Cough 
Killer. 
A few doses cured me of a 
cold and tickling in the 
throat. 
G. L. Walker, Pawtucket, 
R. I. 
Druggists, 25c., 50c., and $1.00. 
IN THE WEST. 
She: “ Do you ever see a finer sun-set than that in the East ?” 
He: “ The sun never sets in the East.” 
for Butter factories on the Cream-Gathering Plan, 
—OR— **' “ ' ' 
PRIVATE DAIRIES. 
The Cooley Creamer Process 
EXCELS ALL OTHER METHODS. 
SEE THE RECORD: 
GOLD MED A Li ou Apparatus, at Richmond, Va„ Exposition, October and November, 1888 
GOLD M KDALi on Product, at Richmond. Va., Exposition, October and November, 1388. 
GOLD MEDAL on Product, at Bay Stale Fair. Sprli^fleld, Mass., October, 1888. 
(;()],]) MIS I) A Li on Product, Delaware State Fair, at Dover, October, 18 S 8 . 
FOUR FIRST PREMIUMS out of a possible SIX, at Buffalo, N.Y.,Exposition, September, 1883 
FIVE FI R?»T I* REM 11) IIS out of a possible .*»EVEN, at Bay State Fair, October, 1888. 
FI R«*T PREMIUM on Factory Butter, at Maine State Fair, 188 s. 
FIRST PREMIUM on Factory Butter, at New Hampshire State Grange Fair, 1888. 
FIRST PREMIUM AND S WEKPSTAKES. Vermont State Fair, 1888. 
GOLD MEDAL, Paris (France), Exposition, 1879. 
GOLD MEDAL. Paris (France), Exposition, 1889; after tests of six weeks at the Palace of Industry, in com¬ 
petition with all leading systems In the world. 
j. GOLD MEDAL at Royal Agricultural Exhibition, London, England, 1879. 
GOLD MED A L and Sweepstakes at International Dairy Fair, N. Y., 1878 and 1879. 
GOLD MEDA L, Berks Co., Pa., 1885. 
SILVER MEDALS awarded are too numerous to mention. 
The HIGGINS SALT S WEEP*»TAKES of $250. and the ASHTON SALT 
SWEEPSTAKE"* of $125. at International Dairy Fair, New York, 1878. 
Remember that the COOLEY CREAMER has a process which no others 
can legally use: others Imitate construction, but cannot use process. 
Do not Pledge Your Milk until you have examined into the Cooley Sys¬ 
tem of Cream leathering. It is less labor, lessexoense & pays better net proceeds. 
Full line Engines, Vats. Churns and everything used In Butter Factories or 
Private Dairies. Send for Illustrated Circulars before purchasing of others. 
VERMONT FARM MACHINE CO., Bellows Falls, Vt. 
SCIENTIFIC GBINDIN0 
MILL 
Send for Illustr 
Catalogue. Adi 
yThe BEST MILL on EARTH 
\ has our SAFETY BOTTOM intended to prevent breakage should 
\Iron accidentally get into Mill. Other improvement* adapt Mill to grinding 
]EAR CORN with SHUCKS on. 
A great saving of feed as well zz labor of Husking. 
'The coming Feed for practical, economical Feeders. 
'Try it. Can only be made practically on the Scientific 
yhich also grinds any and all other kinds of Grain. 
WE CUARAWTil and better results 
than can be obtained with any other Mill. 
1 VA/ET mi ADA MTCE7 the strongest, the simp- 
.WC tiUAKAIH I EiEdest and the cheapest Mill 
made, quality of work, life-time of plates, and other 
parts considered. Sent on trial to responsible parties. 
Numerous sizes for all Powers. All fully guaranteed. 
E THE FOOS MFC. CO. SPRINGFIELD, O. 
H|§PP jjfA 
ELLY’S DUPLEX GRINDING MILL 
BETTER than the “BEST MILL ON EARTH.” 
For CORN and COB and all kinds of CRAIN. 
Sires: 2 to 12 Horse-Power. Will grind from S to 50 Bushels per hour. The 
only Mill that grinds on both sides of the Revolving Burr, giving Donble the 
GRINDING SURFACE of any other Mill made. Every Mill fully 
warranted. Our new Hand Book for Farmers and Feeders sent Free. 
SPRINGFIELD ENGINE &, THRESHER CO. Springfield, O. 
FAYSKGRAPES 
NIAGARA, EMPIRE STATE, 
and first-class establishment. Free 
|^ARGES^GROWE| 
GRAPEVINES 
IN AMERICA. 
EATON, MOYER and all other., new and old; also small fruit. 
Lowest prices, highest grading, warranted_true ; In every respect a model. 
Illustrated Catalogue. 
8. JOSSELYN, Fredonia, N. Y. 
CANTON IKON ROOFING CO., 
CANTON, OHIO. 
MANUFACTURERS OF THE H. W. SMITH PATENT 
STSXIXj 
Siding, 
Send for Catalogue, Price 
ROOFING. 
Also 
ng and 
at. Roofer’s Paper, etc. 
t, aad Samples. Mo^-tv Rural New-Yorker. 
ISLAND HOME STOCK FARM. 
Savage & Farnum,Impor¬ 
ters and Breeders of Per- 
cheron and French Coach 
Horses,IslandHomeStock 
Farm, Grosse Isle,Wayne 
County, Mich. We offer a 
very large stud of horses 
to select from,we guaran¬ 
tee our stock,makeprlces 
reasonable, and sell on 
easy terms. Visitors al¬ 
ways welcome. Large 
catalogue free. Address 
Savage & Farnum, 
Detroit, Mich. 
Percheron Horses. 
French Coach Horses. 
TICKS, SCAB, MANGE, all par¬ 
asitical troubles, all skin disor¬ 
ders are cured by THYM0-CRES0L 
(The Cold-Water Dip). Non-poi- 
Bonous; safe in coldest weather. 
Colonel F. D. Curtis, of Kirby 
Homestead, says: “I have used it 
for some years, for parasites upon Hogs, Cattle and 
Sheep, and I have found it thoroughly effectual and 
satisfactory.” Imported only by 
T. W. LAWFORD & CO., Baltimore. Md. 
Sample by mail for 50c. Mention this paper. 
Best Farm Boiler 
EVER MADE 
For (looking Feed’ 
lor stock, Heating 
Milk or Water in 
Dairies, Small 
Cheese Factories ; 
lor Bath - Rooms, 
Laundries, Scald- j 
iug Hogs, Etc. Ad-’ 
dress J K. PUR I NTuN & CO., 
Dallas Center. Iowa. 
Cheaper than Paint. 
CREOSOTE WOOD STAINS. 
For Outbuildings. Shingles. Fences, etc. Durable 
Strong Preservatives of the Wood Can be applied 
with a Whitewash Brush by any boy. In all colors. 
SAMUBL CABOT, Some Manufacturer, 
Send for Circular. 70 KILBY ST.. BOSTON 
established 1852. 
JACKHON BROTHERS, 
SEW Y02I ATE DEATH TILE AHD PIPE WOEII, 
main omcK. 76 third avk., albany, n. y. 
ROUND, SOLE AND HORSE-SHOE TILE 
Over 13 inches long. By cargo or smallest quantity. 
Our new improved machinery makes superior round 
and sole tile, excelling anything offered heretofore. 
First Premium wherever exhibited. Price list on ap¬ 
plication. Drain Tile machines for sale. 
WHITMAN'S* 
EWPATE NT 
REBOUND 
P LUH 6 EB PERPETUAL 
.Guaranteed superior 
r toany Lever Press now 
... madeffor Hay, Straw and 
Wool. Always victorious. Received First Premium 
at all prominent fairs for past five years, over 
S?«Jl£l??i ot ^ 8 V..i llnstrated Catalogue Free. 
WHITMAN AGK’L CO,, St. Louis, JMa 
We also make the best Steam 
America. 
Power Press In 
MAST, FOOS & CO., 
SPRINGFIELD, O. 
BUCKEYE FORCE PUMP. 
. IRON TURBINE WINDMILL. 
BUCKEYE WROUGHT.IRON PUNCHED 
RAIL FENCE 
BUCKET E LAWN MOWERS. 
Buckeye hose reels and lawn 
RJr Itlli IV 
Send for Illustrated Catalogue and Price List 
THE PERKINS’ 
WindMill 
Is the Strongest and Best Self 
Regulating Wind Mill made 
Full instructions for erecting'sent with 
the first mill. All Wind Mills war¬ 
ranted. For Circulars and Prices 
address 
THE PERKINS’ WIND MILL 
A ^ II A A. CO.j 
Agents Wanted. Mishawaka, Ind. 
Mention Rural New-Yorker. 
CIDER 
MACHINERY 
Knuckle Joint and Screw Press¬ 
es, Graters, Elevators, Pumps 
etc. Send for Catalogue. 
Boomer & Boschert PressCo., 
118 W.W ATER St., S RACUSE.N .Y. 
GOOD NEWS 
TO LADIES, 
"Greatest TuHIeemeiTuiever' of¬ 
fered. Now’s your time to get 
tm orders for our celebrated 
Teas and Coffees, and secure 
a beautiful Gold Band or Moss 
bbhhb Rose China Tea Set, Dinner Set, 
3and .Moss Rose Toilet Set, Watch, Brass Lamp, 
or Webster’s Dlctionar; 
THE G 
P. O. Box 21 
lctionary. For full particulars address 
EAT AMERICAN TEA CO., 
81 and 33 Vesey St., New York. 
1 IT AT OUI 
The Best 
Home Paper 
in America. 
Send, your address on a Postal Card 
to tlie Press Company, Limited 
DPliila., Penn., and get a Sample 
Copy Free. 
Beautiful New Upright Piano, 
Rosewood Case, only $165. New 
Organs, only $31. Greatest Bar¬ 
gains Ever Offered. Est. 28 Years. 
GEM PIANO & ORGAN CO. 
Washington, N. J., U. S. A. 
