842 
DEC 48 
THE RURAL NEW-YORKER. 
fymmxQus. 
THE CITY MAN’S ATTEMPT AT FARMING. 
A farmer I’ll be, cried he, 
As he trudged behind the plow, 
I’ll show these farmers how— 
The plow struck a stump, 
Oh! what a horrible thump 
' And back to the city went he. 
—Detroit Dree JYess. 
THElslmfts of.humor of to-day are sadly in 
need i pf l elevators.— Fuck. 
Strange to say, a cross road is often very 
pleasant.— Boston Bulletin. 
It is u Len a boot is new that there is music 
in the sole. —Detroit Free Press. 
“There! ” said the discharged custom-house 
inspector: “that’s what I gee for assuming 
the duties of other people.”— Harper's Bazar. 
“Yes” said Fogg, “as a success I have 
always been a failure, but as a failure I have 
been an unqualified success.”— Otago Witness. 
A yoong lady attending balls and parties 
should have a female chaperon until she is 
able to call some other chap her own. —Toledo 
Bee. 
Blobson: “Don’t you think that Dempsey 
rather plays the fool?” Popinjay. " No, sir 
L think he works at the job. ”—Burlington 
Free Press. 
Would, it be correct to describe nearly 
every girl you know as being in a dreadful 
hurry because there’s a bustle behind her?— 
Journal of Education. 
Mr. Curry, our Minister to Spain, resigned 
his post on account of ill health. This ex¬ 
plodes the prevalent notion that curry is 
healthy .—Boston Herald. 
There is no longer any gold in the streets 
of New York. It has all been picked up by 
the men who bought the land by the acre and 
sold it by tne lot. — Puck. 
The man who sits down and waits to be ap¬ 
preciated will find himself among uncalled-for 
baggage after the limited express train has 
gone by. — Whitehall Times. 
Coldy: “Why is it, Orson, that every time 
ycu meet TrcmL'y ycuatk him, ‘Row’s every 
thing?”’ Orson: /‘.Why didn’t yovi know that 
Trombly'thinks he owes'the e5rt*h V.'~Qmce ft- 
fVeek\ ■ '*:• .» * * •*.«. 
\ ■ * * • ^ % ,* • . 
v '» S^iith: “Now, there’s J-roes. tie’s one of 
the oddest men I ever knew.” Brown; “That 
explains. I’ve been trying a year to get even 
with him and failed .”—Binghamton Bepub- 
lican. 
Stranger (addressing an old colored brick¬ 
layer: “Uncle, who’s building this house?’’ 
Colored Bricklayer: “Mr. Hirshbug he build 
de house, but Queen Ann she drawed de 
plan.”— Harper's Bazar. 
Dear Father: “We are all well and hap¬ 
py. The baby has grown ever so much, and 
has a great deal more sense than he used to 
have. Hoping the same of you, I remain your 
daughter, Molly .”—From the German. 
First Pittsburger: “Who’s yer candid¬ 
ate?” Second Pittsburger: “You’ve struck 
it, first guess.” First Pittsburger: (mystified) 
“How’s that?” Second Pittsburger: “You 
said, ‘Hoosier candidate.’ He’s mine, too.”— 
Pittsburg Chronicle Telegram. 
St. Louis Bookseller (to customer): 
“Books, sir? yes, sir; what can I show you?” 
Customer: “I’ve got my book-case pretty 
nigh filled up. I want somethin’ not over six 
inches high an’ enough of ’em to occupy two 
foot an’ a half o’ shelvin ’.”—New York Sun. 
“Well, Davie, did you enjoy your visit to 
the museum?” “Yes, mamma.” “Do you re¬ 
member any of the nice things you saw?” 
“Oh yes, lots of them” “And can you tell me 
what they were called?” “Yes; most of them 
were called ‘Hands Off!’ ”— N. Y. Journal. 
Baker’s Head Clerk; “Don’t you think, 
Mr. Yeast, considering the rise in flour, that 
we ought to advance the price of our bread?” 
Baker: “But you forget t at we have already 
reduced the weight of our loaves. We can’t 
do everything in a single day.”— Boston 
Transcript. 
I have used 
I>r. Seth Arnold’s 
COUGH KILLER 
with great benefit. 
I most cheerfully recom¬ 
mend it. 
E. O. Cushing, Thomas- 
ton, Knox County, Me. 
Druggists, 26c., 60c., and $1.00 
(lOOI)-BYE TO T1IE BRIDE. 
NOW SHE’S* OUT OF SIGHT. 
Felt Shoes 
and 
Slippers. 
■; Npis^ess,’ 
Warm, Durable. 
DANIEL GREEN & CO., 122 East 13th Street, N. Y. 
PERFECT EASE 
and 
COMFORT. 
Made in All Styles 
for Men, Women 
and Children. 
Prevents Rheuma¬ 
tism and Cold 
Feet. 
.* SHE EfA 1 
‘'.nr : “How 
togiveme list 
Dbdge-F;elt SJLiUR&»st They Are fo warm and com 
fortable that I really do not like to wear any 
others I was continually taking cold with my 
leather slippers, but have not had the slightest 
cold since wearing these.” 
NOTt:. Th<s is a valuable Christmas sugges¬ 
tion to other good husbands. 
Send for Illustrated Price- 
List. 
Mention R. N.-Y. 
Great Butter Herd! 
HOLSTE1N-FRIE8IAN OATTLR, 
CLYDESDALE, PERCHERON, FRENCH COACH AND HAMBLETONiAN HORSES. 
The Lakeside Herd ot Ho I stein-Friesians stands un- 
rivaled in average production of Milk and Butter. All interested 
are invited to send for Catalogue, giving complete records and pedi¬ 
grees of every animal in the herd, and to personally investigate the 
truth of this statement before purchasing. A large and verv choice 
stud of Clydesdale Horses of all ages, fine young Percheron Stallions, 
Elegant Imported French Coach Stallions, Standard Bred Hambletonian 
150 Cows m Advanced Registry. Stallions, of the best trotting strains Prices low for quality of stock. 
SMITH , HOWELL db LAMB SYMACUSE, ST. Y. 
In writing always nientlon.THE Rural New-Yorker. 1 
A 
SPINWALL 
POTATO 
PLANTER. 
Absolute Guarantee given to do 
PERFECT and RAPID WORK. 
Write tor illustrated jLjralar, Mention this paper. 
BETTER 
Co] 
[THREE RIVERS/* 'T HAN EVEk. 
PLANTS CORN 
Distributes Fertilizers 
ASPINWALL MFG.CO. 
THREE RIVERS, MICHIGAN 
FOR B ITTER FACTORIES 
ON THE 
Creanf Gathering* Plan, 
* or PRIVATE DAIRIES, 
THE CO §LEY CREAMER PROCESS 
EXCELS ALL OTHER METHODS. SEE RECORD: 
COLD MEDALS at Richmond, Va., Exposition, Oct. and Nov., 1888. 
COLD MEDAL at BAY STATE FAIR, Springfield, Mass., Oct, 1888. 
COLD MEDAL DELAWARE STATE FAIR at Dover, Oct., 1888. 
FOUR First PremiUlTISoutofpossibleSix at Buffalo N.Y. Exposition Sep.’88. 
FlV© First PremiumSoutof a possible Seven at Bay State Fair, Oct. 1888. 
First Premium on Factory Butter at Maine State Fair, 1888. _ a 
First Premium on Factory Butter at New Hampshire State Grange Fair, 1888. 
First Premium and Sweepstakes, Vermont State Fair, 1888. 
COLD MEDAL, PARIS, (France,) Expositions, ’79 and ’82, after TESTS of SIX 
WEEKS at the Palace of Industry in competition with all leading systems of the world. 
COLD MEDAL at Royal Agricultural Exhibition, London, England, 1879. 
COLD MEDAL andSweeDStakOSat International Dairy Fair, N. Y., ’78 &’79, 
-COLD MEDAL Berks Co., Pa, 1885. 
SI^YER MEDALS awarded are too numerous to mention. 
DO NOT PLEDGE YOLB MILK until you have examined Into the 
COOLEY SYSTEM of CREAM GATHERING. It Is less 
labor, less expense and pays better net proceeds. Full line of ENGINES, 
CHURNS and everything used In BUTTER FACTORIES or Private 
Dairies. Send for Illustrated Circulars before purchasing of others. 
VERMONT FARM MACHINE CO., Bellows Falls, Vermont 
ISLAND HOME STOCK FARM. 
8avage & Farnum,Impor¬ 
ters and Breeders of Per¬ 
cheron and French Coach 
Horses,IslandH ome8tock 
Farm, Grosse Isle.W ayne 
County, Mich. We offer a 
very large stud of horses 
to select from,we guaran¬ 
tee our stock,make prices 
reasonable, and sell on 
easy terms, Visitors al¬ 
ways welcome. Large 
catalogue free. Address 
Savage & Farnnm, 
Detroit, Mich. 
Percheron Horses. 
French Coach Horses. 
Best Farm Boiler 
EVER MADE 
For Cooking Feed' 
for “tock, Heating 
M 4 lk or v ater in 
Dairies, Mnall 
Cheese Factories j 
lor Hath - Room*. 
Laundries, gicald- , 
ing Hogs, Etc. 
dress .1 K. PU« I NT«*N & CO„ 
Dallas Center, Jowa. 
GALBRAITH BROS., 
JANESVILLE, WIS., 
—Are the Largest Importers of— 
BRITISH HORSES 
in the world. Have Im¬ 
ported three times the 
num her of first-class prize 
winning horses of any 
firm in the United States 
and have nowon hand for 
actual sale over 220 
head of 
CLYDESDALE, 
ENGLISH SHIRE, 
SUFFOLK PUNCH, 
CLEVELAND BAY and HACKNEY STALLIONS. 
Prices moderate, terms easy. Correspondence 
Solicited, Send for Catalogue No. 9. .» 
°two N h D orse UNION HORSE POWERS. 
Most Durable, 
Most Power, 
Least Friction, 
MADE BY 
Ames Plow Co., 
Boston and Ne w York. 
Send for circulars 
and catalogue. 
DEDERICK’S HAY PRESSES. 
r ui 
power, everiastine: and competition distanced. _ __ 
proof order on trial, to keep the best and get any 
other alongside If you can. Reversibly Full circle 
; Belt Presafes, all slzm. 
Address for circulars 
location of We.tern and 
Storehouses and Agents. 
P. K. DEDEKICK A CO., ALBANY, N. Y. 
POULTRY JEm F00D! 
Trade Mark. 
Hollis’s Canned Meat for Poultry. 
Will make hens lay ! 
Will make chickens grow ! 
—AND GOOD FO R— 
Moulting Fowls. 
This food Is strictly fresh meat, carefu ly cooked, 
ground fine, s asoneu and hermetically sealed In tin 
cans. Being ground fine, It can be readlb mixed with 
soft food and fed so as to give each fowl unequal 
share. Price. 30 cents per can; *3 per dozen. Address 
HOLLIS DRESSED MEAT AND WOOL CO., 
29 North St., Boston, Mass, Mention this Paper. 
WELL DRILLING 
Machinery tor Wells of any depth, from 2 0 to 3,000 feet, 
for Water, Oil or Gas. Our Mounted Steam Drilling and 
Portable Horse Power Machines set to work in 20 minutes. 
Guaranteed to drill faster and with less oower than any 
other. Specially adapted to drilling Weljs in earth or 
rock 20 to 1,000 feet. Farmers and others are making #85 
to #40 per day with our machinery and tools Splendid 
business for Winter or Summer. We are the oldest mid 
largest Manufacturers in the business. Send 4c»nte In 
Stamr)8 for illustrated Catalogue H. Address. 
Pierce Artesian & OilWeli. S’ply Co., 80 B’ver St.,N.Y 
A GENIUS INDEED. 
The Boston Transcript says: “The man 
that shall invent a new popular diversion will 
indeed be a genius.” Evidently the title be¬ 
longs to the inventor of the “ Kodak,” which 
presents a unique and most attractive method 
of practicing amateur photography—so differ ¬ 
ent from former systems as to be clearly enti¬ 
tled to the appellation “Nev.” This Camera 
makes a most beautiful Holiday Gift. 
GOOD NEWS 
TO L ADIES. 
1 iirCateBt inducements ever of¬ 
fered. Now’s your time to get 
up orders for our celebrated 
Teas and Coffees, and secure 
a beautiful Gold Band or Moss 
Rose China Tea Set^Dinner Set, 
and .Moss Rose Toilet Set, Watch, Brass Lamp, 
or Webster’s Dictionary. For full particulars address 
THE GREAT AMERICAN TEA CO., 
P.O.Box 289. 81 and 83 Vesey St., New York. 
KNABE 
PIANO FORTES 
UNEQUALLED IN 
Tone, Touch, Workmanship ami Durability. 
WILLIAM It X A HE As CO.. 
Baltimore, 22 and 24 East Baltimore Street. 
New York, 112 Fifth Av. Washington, S17 Market Space 
