DEG 22 
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THE BUBAL «SIW-¥©BS«Ifi. 
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WE TRUST NOT. 
Must the mouldy, musty jokelets, 
Treating of the dark Salt River, 
Like the waters of that river 
Murmur on and on forever? 
—Nebraska State Journal. 
It was too many RomanJ punches that did 
the business for Julius Caesar.— Time. 
We take the liberty to omit the annual oys¬ 
ter joke this year.— Cincinnati Enquirer. 
Mistress. —Have you washed the fish? 
Biddy.—Shure, mum, what’s the use? Isn’t 
it right out of the water, mum?— Idea. 
THEY have “potato socials” in Kansas. 
The name may be from the fact that the 
young folks go there to pare.— Lowell Citizen. 
Mistress: “Why, Nora, how dusty the 
chairs arel” Maid: “Yes, mim, there’s no¬ 
body sat on them to day, mim.”— 'Town 
Topics. 
Tom: “Do you know, Jack, that a wood¬ 
pecker reminds me of my tailor?” Jack: 
“Why?” “Because he bores so with his bill.” 
—Texas Siftings. 
A Little girl defined the difference be¬ 
tween a man and brute as follows: “A brute 
is an imperfect beast; man is a perfect beast.” 
Indiana Farmer. 
Mr. Blessington: “I’ll be home at eleven, 
sharp, Daisy.” Mrs. Blessington: “So glad, 
dear. You’re usually so dull at that time of 
night, you know.”— Time. 
Some one wants to know “if there are 
pianists in the next world?” If there are not 
it isn’t because they haven’t been told to go 
there.— Yonker's Statesman. 
He: “And you really love me darling?’ 
She: “Why do you doubt me dear?” He: 
“Well, I saw you setting the clock on an hour 
forward when I came in.”— World. 
Tom: “You are laying in an unusually large 
supply of coal this year, arn’t you Dick?’ 
Dick: “Yes, you see I bought one of those 
patent fuel-saving stoves.”— Yankee Blade. 
Teacher: “Can you recall a year that had 
a mild winter?” Scholar; “Yes: in the win 
te>v>f 388© my teacher was laid up sick in 
bed for two whole months .”—Rockingham 
Register. 
Customer (to milkman): “I’ll have to ask 
you to chalk it up.” Milkman (abstractedly) 
“Uh, that s all been attended to—oh—er beg 
your pardon: certainly, take your own 
time.”— Life. 
Customer (to waiter) : “I say, waiter, con¬ 
found you, there’s a fly in this soup!” Waiter 
(amazed)-. “Well, I do decla’, ef.it yain’t sur- 
risin’I Ebery thing seems to be gittin 1 in de 
oup nowadays.”— Life. 
Some one is advocating gardens on the roof. 
This will be convenient, at least. When po¬ 
tatoes are needed for dinner all you have to 
do is to go to the garret and pick them off the 
ceiling.— Yonker's Statesman. 
A lot of young farmers in Central Illi¬ 
nois held a corn-liusking contest a few days 
ago. They ruled out a chiropodist who 
wished to compete, on the ground that he was 
a professional and an expert.— Chicago Tri¬ 
bune 
Lady: “And what does your father do?” 
Little Girl: “Oh, papa is a doctor.” Lady: 
“Indeed! I suppose he practices a great deal, 
does enot?” Little Girl: “Oh, no. He does¬ 
n’t practice any more. He knows how now.” 
— Harper's Young people. 
Xmas is the usual and unaccountable abbre¬ 
viation for Christmas. Xmas does not mean 
anytning. Xmas might mean something, if 
it were not for the fact that the condition of 
one’s pocket at the end of the season is more 
apt to be — than X.— The Christmas Puck. 
“I hear you are erecting a young men’s 
college in your town,” said Alpha to Omega. 
“How is it progressing?” “Splendidly,” re¬ 
plied Omega. “The base-ball grounds are 
already laid out, and ground will be broken 
for the college buildings in a couple of 
months. ”— Norristown Herald. 
I have no hesitation in rec¬ 
ommending 
Dr. Setli Arnold's Cough 
Killer. 
A few doses cured me of a 
cold and tickling in the 
throat. j 
G. L. Walker, Pawtucket, 
It. I. > 
Druggists, 25c., 00c., and $1.00. 
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—-——— 
THE 
AMERICAN MAGAZINE nm 
For 1889, and 
CHARLES DICKENS’ COMPLETE WORKS 
C C Q 0 Regular price of the two is SI 8.00. 
JhLSi. The American Magazine is 
_r 
---- The American iuaww. 
PATRIOTIC. BRILLIANT. INSTRUCTIVE, ELEVATING. 
Th i -1 — +*« Magazine for the Hom e. 
Distinctively America, illustrating all^tiia^is^est^in^Aine^rican 
life and *«*£.«*£ writers. 
Its contributors are the eVE RYBODY ! 
A FEA , A short Stories. Articles on Travel and 
Powerful Continued and Short *°"f s ’ Discussions on the topics 
Pathos. . S P- ec i al valuable and complete Magazine 
jn short it is the most vaiua^^^d. 
lor American nomes, ^ tiTi jjsTBATEJ). 
BEA r v TI American Literature and Art. 
from designs by • Works consists of Ten 
°r 450 
s® 2 l 6 - •• r" for $l5m 
snr» i&s&i - 
This opportunity ui introduce The American 
i r rr'7? F FE , B f~T° --'‘"iTlTil 
Magazine into a (jts. Regular price is • • 
forthree months, for^^T^^ original plans; most 
infisR=STT5«!*5SwT* WORKS I^EE. 
CHARLES DICKENS subscriptions will receive 
Any person sending Dickens, FREE. 
AyP the Ten-Volume Sc^ NT jMBEB, 
p“ E ADV to Vor Sale « »« »<”» 
J)o Not 
NOW 
snte , ^ York Draft. Money 
^Orde/o^KesUr^ ^ tter ' - 
*5 «-«*• a number. —- 
Felt Shoes 
Noiseless, 
Warm, Durable. 
Now for a comfortable evening after a weari¬ 
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rest for my tireii feet. Here is a eapital idea! I 
will make Christmas presents of felt slippers to 
all of my friends. 
PERFECT RISE 
and 
COMFORT. 
Made in All Styles 
for Men, 'Women 
and Children. 
Prevents Rheuma¬ 
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Feet. 
- TRADE 
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Send for Illustrated Price- 
List. 
Mention R. N.-Y. 
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rfAf 
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IK 
ELLY’S DUPLEX GRINDING MILL 
miiiinwffliiim . 
BETTER than the “BEST MILL ON EARTH.” 
For CORN and COB and all kinds of CRAIN. 
Sizes: -2 to lti Horse-Power. Will grind from 8 to 50 Bushels per hour. The 
only Mill that grinds on both sides of the Revolving Burr, giving Double the 
GRINDING SURFACE of any other Mill made. Every Mill fully 
warranted. Our new Hand Book for Fanners and Feeders sent Free. 
SPRINGFIELD ENGINE &. THRESHER CO. Springfield, O. 
MANGE 
MR. JAS. L. ANTHONY, 
1 joint owner of the cele¬ 
brated Graphic Kennels, 
says of TH YMO-CKESOL 
(The Cold-Water Dip): 
“Of all the preparations 
1 have used Jor many 
years I have never found 
anything so valuable for general use. It is at once a 
deodorizer and purifier. It is not offensive , and for rid¬ 
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bad case of Follicular Mange cured by it, and recom¬ 
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T. tv. LAWFOUD U CO., Baltimore, .lid. Sample by mail 50c. 
ISLAND HOME STOCK FARM. 
Savage & Farnum,Impor¬ 
ters and Breeders of Per- 
eheron and French Coach 
Horses, IslandHomeStock 
Farm, Grosse Isle,Wayne 
County, Mich. We offer a 
very large stud of horses 
to select from, we guaran¬ 
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reasonable, and sell on 
easy terms, Visitors al¬ 
ways welcome. Large 
catalogue free. Address 
Savage & Farnum, 
Detroit, Mice. 
Fere heron Horses, 
French Coach Horses. 
iNEWPATENT 
WHITMAN’$ j rebound 
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hoanyLever Press now 
, _made*for Hay, Straw and 
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at all prominent fairs for past five years, over 
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WHITMAN AGtt’L CO.. St. Louis, Mo. 
We also make the best Steam Power Press in 
America. 
1 IT IT ONCE! =iS 
Send vour address on a Postal Card 
to the Press Company, Limited 
l^hila., Penn., and get a Sample 
Copy Free. 
THE KODAK CAMERA 
is one of the few things which you can offer 
as a Holiday Gift with the assurance that it 
will be fully appreciated. A combination 
of beauty, usefulness and novelty is found in 
the “ Kodak,” making it acceptable to any¬ 
one. 
STEAM ENGINES. 
Portable, Agricultural, Stationary. 
ALSO 
Four-Driver Traction Engines 
Manufactured by 
Wood, Taber & Morse, 
Eaton, Madison Co., N. V. 
Catalogues and Prices sent on application. 
CIDER 
MACHINERY 
Knuckle Joint and Screw Press¬ 
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etc. Send for Catalogue. 
Boomer & Boschert PressCo., 
118 W. Water St., S racusk, X. Y. 
GALBRAITH BROS., 
JANESVILLE, WIS., 
—Are the Largest Importers of— 
BRITISH HORSES 
in the world. Have Im¬ 
ported three times the 
number of ti rst-class prize 
winning horses of any 
firm in the United States 
and have now on hand for 
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head of 
CLYDESDALE, 
ENGLISH SHIRE, 
SUFFOLK PUNCH, 
CLEVELAND BAY and HACKNEY STALLIONS. 
Prices moderate, terms easy. Correspondence 
Solicited, Send for Catalogue No. 'J. 
GOOD NEWS 
TO L ADIES, 
""nTeatest inducements ever of¬ 
fered. Now’s your time to get 
up orders for our celebrated 
Teas and Coffees, and secure 
a beautiful Gold Band or Moss 
_• Rose China Tea Set, Dinner Set, 
Gold Band Moss Rose Toflet Set, Watch, Brass Lamp, 
or Webster’s Dictionary. For full particulars address 
THE GREAT AMERICAN TEA CO. 
P. O. Box 289. 81 and 83 Vesey St.. New York. 
KNABE 
PIANO FORTES 
UNEQUALLED IN 
Tone, Touch, Workmanship and Durability. 
WILLIAM KNABE A CO.. 
Baltimore. 22 and 24 East Baltimore Street. 
Nkw York, 112 Fifth Av. Washington, 81? Market Space 
