466 
JULY 43 
college student, dreamy, poetic and impracti¬ 
cal, came to the island. He was the first 
young man,besides her brotherspthat she had 
ever known. They fell straightway in love 
and were married, and they went near Bos¬ 
ton to live. The young husband’s name was 
Tbaxter; he had some property, but his de¬ 
votion to poetical things obliged the wife to 
be the chief burden-bearer of the family, and 
in order to incre ase their revenues, she acted 
upon the suggestion of an acquaintance who 
appreciated her fine mental gifts, to try her 
hand at writing. She wrote a poem, sent it 
to the Atlantic Monthly, and in due time re¬ 
ceived $10 for it, with a request for more, 
which settled her bent for literature. Subse¬ 
quently her husband died, and she built a cot¬ 
tage near her old home where her brothers 
still lived, and where she still makes her home 
in summer. She is the mother of three sons, 
‘one of whom is a physician. She is exceed¬ 
ingly clever, paints well, is gifted in anecdote 
and repartee, and is a fine talker. In win¬ 
ter she lives in Boston. 
Although we sailed merrily enough on our 
upward trip, we bad rather a sorry time com¬ 
ing back, as the wind had risen, the sea was 
rough and it was a frequent occurrence for a 
wave to send a shower of spray over the 
deck of the yacht, which would have drenched 
us to the skin, but for our great coats of wat¬ 
er-proof. The members of the party who 
were given to 6ea-sickness succumbed, but al¬ 
though it is a malady from which I do not 
suffer, I think it is exceedingly fatiguing to 
be long at sea in any kind of a craft. 
The frequent yacht races at Marblehead fur¬ 
nished much entertainment, as well as the 
music at the club houses. It was always a 
sight to see the “Volunteer” come in, her 
mast standing higher than any building in 
the town. Mr. Burgess, her designer, and 
the architect of many another fleet boat, 
lived on the “ Neck a man far less striking 
in appearance than newspaper portraits repre¬ 
sent him to be. We chanced to be out in a 
dory one day, and seeing the Volunteer at 
anchor, asked leave to go on board, which 
was pleasantly granted. It w^as interesting 
to see with what ingenuity, lightness with 
strength had been combined. Eighteen men 
formed her crew. One day an unusual-look¬ 
ing ship appeared in the harbor, which proved 
to be the “ St. Mary,” the New York training 
school ship. She was built in 1846 to catch 
slavers, and after a varied career was put to 
her present use. She is an antiquated boat, 
but well enough fitted for training boys for 
the sea, or for training out of them the sea¬ 
going desire. For parents afflicted with lads 
inclined to be unruly, or bound to go to sea, 
it is a very good thing to place them in this 
school of which a year’s experience is gen¬ 
erally enough to cure them of their idio¬ 
syncrasies. Some of the boys, however, like 
it well enough to become sailors in earnest. 
The discipline on board obliges them to do 
with punctuality what nearly every boy finds 
detestable—to keep his bed, wardrobe, etc., in 
perfect order and neatness, wash and mend 
his clothes, and learn how to cook, to wash 
tin dishes and to scrub. 
“ DON’T.”-AT HOME. 
OLIVE K. DANA. 
T HIS little word has been overworked of 
late, but there is still need of its appli¬ 
cation in the household. There are certain 
occasions, trifling maybe in themselves and 
taken singly and belonging among the minor 
morals, concerning which one longs to say 
emphatically: “ Don’t.” Not that we who 
write are altogether void of offence in these 
matters. Indeed, this monosyllabic contrac¬ 
tion of the imperative mood is never spoken 
so sharply and forcibly as when we say it to 
“ our own selves.” And indeed there are few 
of us to whom it might not be said sometimes. 
But to specify—and first, concerning meal¬ 
times. 
Don’t let us air grievances, in the form of 
scoldiDg or complaint, either, at the family 
table. It is the poorest of all places to vent 
irritation. If one's own digestion is unaffect¬ 
ed thereby—as is unlikely—there are others 
to whom eating under such circumstances be¬ 
comes well-nigh impossible. 
Don’t discuss or mention at table, dis¬ 
tressing, disturbing, or otherwise disagree¬ 
able occurrences or subjects, or recount de¬ 
tails that are in any way saddening, of sick¬ 
ness, death or accident. Indeed, in most 
cases it were better not to dwell at all upon 
such particulars or to relate them at length. 
And ceitainly such a recital should be prohib¬ 
ited at table. 
Don’t make mention too often of particulars 
concerning the food, its price, preparation, 
and the like. Mr. Emerson’s example, as told 
jlj that/ lucent «n4 ifiterestipg volume, “Em¬ 
erson in Concord,” is a good one. It is said 
that “ he took whatever was set before him 
with healthy appetite, but hardly knowing or 
asking what it might be. Rarely he noticed 
and praised some dish in an amusing manner, 
but, should any mention of ingredients arise, 
he always interrupted with ‘no! no! It is 
made of violets; it has no common history’, 
or other expressions to that purpose.” 
And especially do not allude to the food be¬ 
fore you, to food in general, or to anything 
else, in any way that can affect the most fas¬ 
tidious appetite. Grown people will of course 
very seldom offend in this way*, yet even they 
sometimes do. And children should surely be 
taught gentle manners. 
Don’t let us shorten the meal-hour, always 
too brief, by hurrying to get cleared away, by 
comments on the lateness of the hour or the 
work yet waiting, or sit down with too many 
evidences of the preparatory work visible either 
on the person or around the room—the sleeves 
still rolled up, and the soiled apron unremoved; 
perhaps, sir, with even your hat still on your 
head. All these things hinder both appetite 
and the ease of mind that should accompany 
it. If we could have a dining-room always! 
But it is often one of the unattainable things 
in our country homes, especially in winter. 
Lastly, “ Don’t ” let us “ run in ” at our neigh¬ 
bors at meal-time. It is so much better to go 
earlier or later, and most errands can wait, 
the friendly chat always. 
WOMEN AS WOMEN. 
AUNT ANCIENT. 
A FTER the last meeting of the Women’s 
National Convention the editor of one 
of our prominent dailies, asked why some 
“old-fashioned” woman did not read a paper 
at the meeting on “Women as Women.” A 
male writer in the Epoch attributed the 
“rudeness of women,” to their “growing inde¬ 
pendence.” A noted journalist writes of 
women's inaptitude for the duties of a public 
office; while a correspondent of an educational 
journal says that “at least one-half of all the 
teachers in our public schools should be men.” 
Such queries and opinions as these, coming 
from men of presumably broad views, furnish¬ 
es another proof of man’s inability to regard 
women as at home in any sphere save the do¬ 
mestic. 
To be sure, there are implanted in every 
woman’s heart a love of heme and a desire 
for family ti?s, out as she advances in intelli¬ 
gence there will be less likelihood of her ex¬ 
changing the means of an ample subsistence 
for a home and husband unless the husband 
be a congenial spirit and one that is worthy 
of a good home. It is not my purpose to dis¬ 
cuss, in detail, the advantages to mankind in 
general arising from an enlargement of 
woman’s sphere and her increased facilities of 
obtaining an honest livelihood; neither will 
I dispute the opinion of men that woman is 
most lovable when she retains every vestige 
of true womanliness and figures in the capaci¬ 
ty of a sister, daughter, wife or mother. If 
among the numberless vocations that have 
been opened to woman there is one that has a 
tendency to make her less a woman the priv¬ 
ilege she has of entering that vocation should 
be immediately disallowed. No woman can 
afford to lose the charms of a gentle woman¬ 
hood, and the more she is brought into con¬ 
tact with men, the greater is her need of those 
qualities which are essentially feminine. 
While woman has gained the right to stand 
upon a social and intellectual level with man, 
every woman, no matter what her calling 
may be, has duties to perform and responsi¬ 
bilities resting upon her that belong to her 
sex alone. Her influence should always be 
informing and stimulating, her efforts perse¬ 
vering and quiet. If there be any that take 
exception to the last requirement, let them re¬ 
member that in no place is a female blusterer 
ever sanctioned. No quality of mind or habit 
of life that is distinctively masculine can be 
tolerated in woman by the opposite sex. 
Opposites attract, and all women who are 
desirous of pleasing men and of influencing 
their actions will cultivate the graces of a 
pleasing femininity. 
To add to the qualities which constitute wo¬ 
man’s innate womanliness, her dress, her 
manners and her education are deserving of 
especial attention. “Dress,” some one has 
said, “ is an index to character.” A woman’s 
dress in particular indicates the degree of her 
modesty, her refinement, and were it not for 
what has been said concerning the dress of 
intellectual women, I would add, her intelli¬ 
gence. Aside from this, I have observed that 
in proportion to the number of genuinely 
feminine traits that a woman possesses is her 
love of neatDess and cleanliness in dress in¬ 
creased. It does not argue in favor of a 
frivolous or shallow jpjpfl fgy yrpjnpp to |ie 
neatly and stylishly dressed. The intellectual 
and moral status of the woman who dons a 
tasteful apparel is several degrees higher than 
that of the gaudily dressed woman, and I am 
bound to add that there must be something 
sadly wrong about the mind or nature of the 
woman who persistently ignores the most be 
coming fashions for the sake of showing an 
independent spirit, or because she has no de¬ 
sire to be considered attractive. Every wo¬ 
man should exercise a daily care in the matter 
of dress, not only because her self-respect is 
augmented thereby, but because men, from 
the most polished down to the most uncouth, 
love to see their female friends evince a taste 
for neat and becoming costumes. 
When I say that woman craves the esteem 
and admiration of man, I have in mind the 
pure-minded woman and the honorable man, 
and it is not to such a woman’s disparagement 
if she dresses herself to please her lover or 
husband, or is especially considerate of her 
personal appearance in the presence of her 
male friends. The silly sentimentality and 
extravagance in dress, which characterize 
some women are to be severely condemned, 
but the desire to be charming in the eyes of 
her friends cannot be set down to any 
woman’s discredit. It is a natural, a legiti¬ 
mate feeling and one that is altogether wom¬ 
anly. It has always been a mystery to me 
how woman can degenerate into an abomin¬ 
able slovenliness, as some do, as soon as they 
have captured husbands or have little chil¬ 
dren to love and rear. Surely such creatures 
lack the qualities which are the distinctive 
mark of a lovely womanhood. 
A woman’s manner to a greater de¬ 
gree even than her dress marks the extent of 
her claim to the title of woman. The man¬ 
ners of a true woman are the reflex of a gentle 
spirit and a kind heart. They are manifested 
by a low voice that “ excellent thing in 
woman ” and by the unostentatious way in 
which the truly feminine nature delights to 
move and act. In direct opposition to her 
mode of deporting herself is her manner of 
thinking. The model woman is a vigorous 
thinker. Her education has been directed to 
that end and if parents would have their 
daughters exemplify the beauties of a strong 
and pure womanhood it behooves them to be¬ 
gin early the work of moral and intellectual 
development in the minds of their daughters. 
Every fatter that has a sericus thought con¬ 
cerning the welfare of his country will edu¬ 
cate his daughters. The weal or woe of a na¬ 
tion depends in a great measure upon the ex¬ 
tent to which its mothers are educated. The 
work which men have agreed upon as right¬ 
fully belonging to woman cannot be accomp¬ 
lished efficiently by the unwomanly, the weak- 
minded or illiterate of the sex. A clear under¬ 
standing, a refined manner,a cultivated taste, 
good judgment and strong moral tendencies 
are conspicuous qualities of the woman who 
fulfills her highest mission. Ignorance and a 
slavish dependence upon men are not woman¬ 
ly characteristics. Women like men have 
their distinguishing traits and their attract¬ 
iveness to men is increased in proportion to 
the prominence which these traits assume. 
The true woman does not detract from her 
worth as a woman when she engages in any 
work to which duty calls her; womankind has 
not been degraded by the labors of such re¬ 
formers as Ellice HopkiDs, Frances Willard or 
Lucretia Mott. Men have not found their 
wives less helpful, homes have not been made 
less bright or little children less happy be¬ 
cause of the interest which women have mani¬ 
fested in politics, literature and the arts, and 
in the advancement of their own sex. 
A discussion of the subject “Women as 
Women,” at the Women’s Convention was not 
a necessity, for every loving mother, every 
affectionate wife and every tendir sweetheart 
is a testimonial to that truth which cannot be 
gainsayed. Woman is first, last, and all the 
time a woman, and as such she longs for no 
wider kingdom than a home, no stronger 
sceptre than love, and no greater power than 
that which she wields ovor a husband and 
children. 
To have such an ambition a woman need 
not be “ old-fashioned,” she need not be a 
conservative or a domestic slave, for it is an 
attribute of the highest, the lowliest, the 
most gifted and the strongest-minded of the 
sex. 
GOLDEN GRAINS. 
D R. JOHNSON SAID: Exert your talents 
and distinguish yourself, and do not 
think of retiring from the world until the 
world will be sorry that you retire. He hated 
a fellow whom pride, or cowardice, or laziness 
drives into a corner, and who does nothing 
while he is there but sit and growl. Let him 
come out and bark. 
It is said that a clergypaaa in ope of ths 
Bahama Islands proposed that the service be 
shortened for the convenience of his parish¬ 
ioners. A day or so afterward he received 
this protest: “Indeed, sir, our ladies will 
neber tink it worth while to dress only to sit 
in church for one hour.” We wonder if such 
a remonstrance could come from any other 
place? Certainly, it would not be heard in 
this country. 
In a St.fAlbans church, on a recent Sunday 
says the Messenger, a little lad looked on with 
surprise as the contribution boxes were passed 
around. He had an idea that the cash was 
being distributed gratis, and so, just as the 
box was leaving the pew in which he sat, he 
put his chubby little hand in among the 
change and brought out a fistful, and was 
quite disgusted when his mamma made him 
disgorge. 
Harper’s Weekly reminds us that it would 
be w r ell to remember our friends while they 
are living and not wait until after they are 
dead before we manifest our appreciation of 
them. 
It is an odd thing that no sooner has death 
claimed our friends for his own than we be¬ 
gin to say and do a multitude of things of 
little use at all then in comparison to that 
which they might have been bad they come in 
advance of death Then out of hand we flock 
to the house with offers of assistance and 
proffers of friendship; we rob our gardens and 
our bot-house= and send cut flowers in pro¬ 
fusion, and funeral wreaths and crosses and 
pillows and anchors and stars to encumbrance 
and do all we can, though late to hide and 
disguise and sweeten fate. But if we bad 
flocked to the house while the dead could have 
been aware of it bow much pleasure and ex¬ 
citement and relief from monotonous or 
lonesome hours our sick friends might have 
enjoyed when all was a tiresome round of 
dav and night and medicine and solitude, 
when a bunch of flowers brought in would 
have brought a light to the dull eyes, of joy 
both over the gift and the giver, joy which 
no broken columns of tuberoses and ivies, 
costing small fortunes, can bring to the eyes 
of the dead! Even could we have been ad¬ 
mitted to tbesick room itself, we could have 
brought there the murmur of the outside 
world by the mere knowledge given to the 
patient that we were within the gates, some 
break, some cheer, some good. 
Then, too, bow profuse W6 are with s «ir 
good words after their ears are stopped 
Oust. We do not hesitate then to say all tffll 
is true or even more than is true in praise of 
the departed. It is as if we had suddenly 
discovered in the sand a jewel fit for kings to 
wear; we make an outcry and hold it up to 
the light and turn it this way and that, and 
exclaim and marvel and admire and call on 
others to do likewise. There is nothing to say 
about this person now that tho place once 
filled is vacant. But if we had said a tenth 
part of it all when it might have been heard 
by the living person, of how much more worth 
it had been! What joy and satisfaction it 
might have given! The subject of it all might 
have felt as if satisfied to leave life with such 
appreciation. But it was not spoken, and life 
went on without it; and now we regret it, and 
do the same thing over with the next friend.. 
CONDUCTED BY MRS. AGNES E. M. CARMAN. 
“ Too little rest, too little sleep, 
Too many hours to sow and reap ; 
At last, disease and pain 
The strongest rope parts strand by strand, 
Beneath a ceaseless strain.'' 
EXTRACTS FROM SUNDAY EVENING 
TALKS AT THE RURAL GROUNDS. 
f'P'HE little foxes that spoil the vines.” 
JL The Song of Solomon, 2:15. 
That remarkable genius, Mother Goose, has 
indited one stanza so pertinent to the every¬ 
day affuirs of life, that It seems to me it 
should not only appear in every child’s nur 
lUimUnufouisi 
When Baby was sick, we gave her Casiorot, 
When she was a Child, she cried for Castorla, 
When she became Miss, she clung to Castorla, 
When she had Childrou. site gave them Custortai 
