636 
THE RURAL NEW-YORKER. 
SEPT. 21 
fyummtms. 
The Rural New-Yorker is prepared to 
offer very liberal terms to good, responsi¬ 
ble permanent agents. Correspondence 
solicited. 
A dky spell—S-a h-a-r-a. Spellbound—The 
Dictionary.— Puck. 
“ I live mostly within myself,” said a con¬ 
ceited fellow. “ I understand,” replied his 
neighbor at the table, “ you occupy a flat.” 
— Siftings. 
A CITY child, seeing a sunflower in the 
country for the first time, said she never 
knew those artistic pen-wipers grew in gar¬ 
dens before.— Puck. 
“There is one paper that will destroy 
the polish of any one it may come in con¬ 
tact with.” “Rless me, my good man, 
what is its name? ” “ Sand-paper, madam.” 
—Boston Bulletin. 
“ What a beautiful new boat!” exclaim¬ 
ed Miss Ethel at Long Branch as the yacht 
Psyche shot past the wharf. “ Yes,” re¬ 
plied her uncle; “ but isn’t that a funny 
way to spell fish?”— Judge. 
When General Grant was in Japan the 
Japanese Premier, desiring to compliment 
the General by telling him that he was 
born to command, tried in English with 
this result: “Sire, brave General, you vos 
made to order.”— Life. 
Mother. “ To think that my little Ethel 
should have spoken so impertinently to 
papa to-day at dinner! She never hears 
me talk in that way to him.” Ethel 
(stoutly)—“ Well, you choosed him and I 
didn’t.”— Harper’s Bazar. 
Female Customer: “Say, Mr. Schlau- 
senheiser, these cookies have coriander 
seeds in them. I dou’t. like coriander 
seeds.” Baker: “Veil, mein grazious, you 
gan ead aroundt them auf you don’t like 
um! ”— Harper’s Weekly. 
He (sentimentally): “How shall I ever 
leave th 3e, love?” She (practically): “Well 
if you go now you may go out of the 
door. But 1 hear father coming and if yon 
don’t go now you may go out of the win¬ 
dow .”—Lawrence American. 
Frenchman: “You should to Pareego, 
eef only to see zee beautiful picture of New 
York harbor painted by Missear Bartholdi. 
Eet is one grond compilationg.” Omaha 
man: “I have seen New York Harbor it¬ 
self.” “ Oui, but in zee picture you get zee 
grond view widout zee smell .”—Omaha 
World. 
Penelope Peaciiblow: “ How do you do, 
Mrs. Plantaganet?” Mrs. Plantacankt: 
“ You must excuse me, but I do not think 
we have ever met.” Penelope Peach- 
blow: “ Yes; last week at Mrs. West¬ 
erly’s.” Mrs. Plantaganet (with increas¬ 
ing coolness): “ You have the advantage of 
me.” Penelope Peaciiblow: “ I think I 
have , Mrs. Plantaganet, in eyesight, mem¬ 
ory, and manners. Good afternoon.”— Life. 
When Florence was only a wee bit ot a 
girl sne loved to trot around out-of-doors in 
the early morning, and mamma was very 
particular that she snould always wear rub¬ 
bers. One morning, standing at the kitchen 
door, she made an alarming discovery. “Oh, 
mamma! mamma!” she called. “All vese 
cunning little chickens hasn’t got on any rub¬ 
bers. They will get a sneeze—O-oodear!”— 
Youth's Companion. 
At the Thousand Islands, at dinner one 
day, Daniel W. Powers and Ids friends were 
discussing the merits of different species of 
game. One preferred canvas-back ducks, 
another woodcock, and still another thought 
a quail the most delicious article of food. 
The discussion and the dinner ended about 
the same time. “ Well, Frank,” said Dan, 
turning to the waiter at his elbow, who was 
as good a listener as he was a waiter, “what 
kind of game do you like best?” “ Well, 
Massa Powers, to tell you the trufe almost 
any kind of game’ll suit me, but what I 
likes best is an American Eagle served on a 
silver dollar.” He got. it .—Rochester Bud¬ 
get. 
AN ELECANT COUNTRY HOME 
FOR BALE AT A BARGAIN. 
Located wltlitu an hour’s ride of New York City. House 
lias it) looms with all improvements; barn ;4X20. Two 
acres of land. Ureal variety or small fruit, shrubs, etc. 
Eiue loi ation for greenhouses. Price, only $l,5uu. 
Terms eusy. Must oc soul. J. H. OttlFFH H, 
Care ttuiul New Yorker, N. Y. City. 
A\D THE THERMOMETER AT ZERO. 
Goldstein (to party who has just rescued his son): “S’help me gracious, mine 
frent, vould you mindt goin’ under for dot other skate?” 
SLICKER 
The FISH BRAND SLICKER is -warranted waterproof, and will keep you dry 
in the hardest storm. The new POMMEL SLICKER is a perfect riding coat, 
and covers the entire Raddle. Beware of Imitations. None genuine without the 
“Fish Brand" trade-mark. Illustrated Catalogue free. A.J.Tower, Boston, Mass, 
Tie Best 
Waterproof 
Coat. 
850.000 CRAPE VINES 
100 V AKIETIKH. Headquartera of the MO YEK, the Eiu-1 lent and ItcMt, Reliable Red Grape now first offered 
-- - run. Tree*. Etc. « Sampte Vines RQESCH. FREDONIA. N. Y. 
under seal. Also Small Fruit*. Tree*. Etc. 8 Sample Vines 
mailed for 15 coats. Illustrated descriptive Price List free. 
AGRICULTURAL CHEMICAL WORKS, 
-MANUFACTURERS OF- 
ANIMAL BONE FERTILIZERS 
Office: 201 & 203 O’Donnell’s Wharf, Baltimore, Md. 
ELLIOT’S PARCHMENT PAPER 
TrfE DA-IPtYMBUSrS FRIEND 
Tlic Cheapest. The Rest. The llitriiext Quality. 
Over 10,0(10 progressive cieameries, dairymen, farmers an t 
dealers Indorse It in place of muslin or wax paper, for wrapping Butter, Cheese. Lard, Meat. Sausage, Etc., Etc. 
Good butter demands a good wrapper. Send for samples and testimonials to dealers in Dairy Supplies, or 
A. C. ELLIOT & CO., Paper Manufacturers, Philadelphia, Pa. 
IMPROVED DURING lSJtl*. 
For Corn and Cobs, Feed and Table Meal. Grinds finer, runs lighter, 
is more durable than any mill on the market. Send for Catalogue before buying. 
A.W. STRAUB* CO., Philada .Pa. I SPRINGFIELD IMPLEMENT CO.. SpringHeld. Ohio 
Territory Hast of Ohio. I Territory West of Pennsylvania. 
IT 
(Q A Aliy pencil EAPT tlmt there is no better place In the United States for 
ID A UUHUkUkU I HU I Nurserymen to sort up. Dealers to pack, or Planters 
to order, than at the PAINESVILLE NURSERIES. A full lino of 
BULBS, SHRUBS, ROSES AND PLANTS, 
FRUIT AND ORNAMENTAL TREES, 
Remarkably fine and complete stocks of 
'PEARS. PLUMS. PEACHES, CHERRIES, 
APPLES, QUINCES, APRICOTS. MULBERRIES, 
GRAPEVINES. SMALL FRUITS. ETC.. ETC. 
Introducers of the CRAWFORD STRAWBERRY. 
SEND FOR FREE CATALOGUE Correspondence solicited. 
THIRTY-FIFTH YEAR. TOO ACRES. 84 GREENHOUSES. 
Address THE STORRS & HARRISON CO., Painesville, Lake Ohio. 
SEND FDR CIRCULARS. • ■ 
®WHITM AN , L.CD.,MA G N E u N r^T A u L R ER s.ST. Lnui 5 . Met,® 
SMALLEY 
GOODS 
warranted. 
Including ENSILAGE AND FODDER CUTTERS. 
SWEEP AN0 TREAD HORSE POWERS. 0RAC 
* CIRCULAR SAW MACHINES. TARM ENGINES * PLOWS. 
are positively ahead of all others in the oountry.und mo 
Shipped to any responsible farmer in the U. 8. or Canada, subject to 
_ I rely l _ 
Pamphlet" should be read by every intelligent farmer interested in dairy¬ 
ing or stock raising. It contains the very iatest information relative to 
economical stock feeding. Will tie mailed free to responsible 
farmers only, upon application, providing mention is made 
of paper in which this advertisement was noticed. 
SMALLEY MFG. CO. 
MANITOWOC, WIS. 
Ask for 
I Sjierial introdurtio nY 
prices and terms. 
IN SMALLEY CUTTER, with l»»r*vid Bukst Canto. 
SMALLEY TREAD POWER WITN GOVERNOR. 
You may ride or 
drive your horse 
fast and long ; it is 
good for the horse 
and exhilarating 
for the rider. But 
you must keep its 
back and feet in 
perfect order and prevent chafing, sore¬ 
ness, scratches and all inflammation by 
freely using Phenol SomquE. 
For descriptive circulars and testimonials address the 
Proprietors, Hance Bros. & White, Philadelphia. 
For sale by Druggists and General Merchandise Dealers. 
Q f—f* p i 
FOR ALL PURPOSES AT LAKESIDE. 
Standard Bred Trotters. 
A rare lot of Young Stallions of most popu¬ 
lar lines of breeding. 
French Coach Horses. 
Imported and American Bred, of very 
superior quality, style and action. 
Clydesdales. 
A Superb Lot of Young Stallions, Mares 
and Fillies of this valuable draft breed, the 
result of jears of intelligent and careful im¬ 
porting and breeding. 
Percherons. 
A few unusually fine young Stallions of 
this deservedly popular breed. 
Catalogue containing full inscriptions anil peril 
grccs maile 1 to parties Interested. In writing men 
tlon th s paper. 
SMITHS, POWELL & LAMB, 
HYItACUS*:, IW„ Y. 
>y Hardware Uealern Generally, 
lend forCir- 
Ease, Comfort and Thrift! 
THE BEST CATTLE FASTENING 
Smith’s Seif-Idjusting Swing Stanchionl 
The only practical SW1NO STANCHION Invented. 
Thousands In use. Illustrated Circular free. 
K. O. PARSONS h CO.. Addison. Steuben Co., N. Y 
Pennsylvania Agricultural Works, York, Fa. 
Far a ah ai’■ Standard Engines and Saw Hills. 
Send tor CoUlofuo. Portable, Sta¬ 
tionary, Traotloa and Automatic la 
(Ibm a. pool ally. Wuruudrq.il* 
nparitrM 
any aala 
Address A. B. fABQOHAB A SON, York, r*. 
For preparing the ground for fall seeding, the Clark's 
Cutaway Harrow will more than pay for Itself lu one 
season. No use for the plow on stubble laud. Take 
It and try It and you will buy It. Bend for new cir¬ 
cular. 
Higganum MTg Corp., Sole Man’f'rs, 
1IIGGAN CM, CONN. 
1H3S. POMONA M ItSKItlKS. 1S80. 
WONDERFULPEACH 
l.awson. It idler, I,e Conte 
1‘tartt : Spaulding and Japan 
I'luuis Apples, Cherrleg. Quinces, 
and Nut-bearing trees. Strawber¬ 
ries. Raspberries. Blackberries and 
Grapes In large supply -all worthy 
old & promising new varieties. Cat¬ 
alogue free. \t m.l’arry, 1’arry,N.J. 
L OW-DOWN wagon on high wheels-only 
Practical. Common Heune Farm Wagon la 
the world. Send for 2ts reasons why. 
GAKD1NKK IKON WAGON CO., 
Jlullleu Hill, N. J. 
