vdfER^r 
V eteran Corn Sheller 
FOR HAND OR POWER. 
J ust the Thing for Mill, Farm or Plan¬ 
tation. 
I’ower iiml IIami Corn Sbcllcra ol all sizes 
and to suit all wnnlH. 
HORSK POWKiiS, JACKS, <tec. 
Write for Descriptive Circulars and prices. Ad¬ 
dress SA N X» WIOH l>l A N U F’G t 
Sandwich, Illinois. 
FROM DARWIN 
THE EVOLUTION OF AN ARTIST FROM A PAINT POT AND A BRUSH, 
Down m Georgia, says the Louisville Cour¬ 
ier-Journal, they are all in favor of removing 
the tax ou quinine and putting it on dogs. In 
other words, they want to take from quinine 
and put on cauiue. Or, to add another idea, 
they would take the tax off Peruvian bark and 
put it on dog’s baric .—Lowell Courier. 
QUININE IS l'UEU. 
There’s a, sound on the breeze— 
a paean of glee, 
From the distant Maine trees 
To the swamps of Maumee. 
And the cheer gathers force 
From the plains of Jerseo 
And the Hoosiere ull hoarse, 
Echo, " Quinine is free!” 
" AvaBt fever and chill, 
Off ague with thee, 
We've shaken our fill." 
They’re yelling in glee. 
In Egypt, Ill'nois, 
And by the Maumee, 
They’re hooping like boys, 
" Huzza ! iiuinine is free ! !” 
I Cleveland l’vice. 
The average San Francisco gamin is’cute. 
Standing before a fruit stand the other day, 
one of them said, “Hello, old fellow! how 
much for your oraugne?’’ “Twenty ceuts a 
dozen, sonny.” “Do you throw the thirteenth 
into the bargain?” “Yes, my lad.” “Well, 
give me the thirteenth to-day, and I will buy 
the dozen of you to-morrow .”—San Francisco 
Golden Era. 
Our inventor is at work getting out 44,000,- 
000 of fancy cards bearing the words, “You 
can just bet your sweet life it is." They are 
intended to be worn on the lappel of the coats 
of all men in the United States in answer to 
the query, “Is it warm enough for you?" 
They will meet a long-felt want, and ought ITT 
have a tremendous sale.— Wheeling Sunday 
Leader . 
One little letter will sometimes cause more 
trouble and worriinent to a sensitive man than 
an immense volume. For instance, the item 
was written, “ Mr, Smith, the clothier; has a 
fine stock of double-breasted uniforms, decor¬ 
ated with brass buttons; parties wishing to 
purchase, please call and examine.” When the 
item appeared in the paper the word “uniforms” 
was “unicorns” and, as a consequence, Mr. 
Smith’s store was filled with curiosity seekei’6 
and showmen. But gracious! wasn’t he mad! 
Aud when lie struck the editor square on the 
nose with his fist didn’t he have a unique horn. 
—New Haven Register. 
“I say, George, what makes you look so 
cheerful?” said one frieud to another, recently. 
“ Why, didn’t you hear, Bob, I’m going to be 
married next Wednesday?” “Well, I must 
confess I see nothing in that to make you 
cheerful; i should think it would make you 
feel sad ” “Why, no, my dear fellow; it will 
be the happiest day of nay life. You see, Ma¬ 
tilda is a very expensive luxury. She wants to 
go to the opera every night; it’s cream ou the 
way, a pound of candy while there, and soda 
water on the way home—and I tell you it's a 
terrible drain ou a fellow’s pocket, so I'm going 
to put a stop to it. Come in and have a cigar.” 
— Yonkers Stalesman. 
A female representative of Erin, with a 
market basket on her arm, paused at the coun¬ 
ter of an egg merchant, aud after pricing 
some of his stock, asked if they were good. 
“Thev’re nothing else,” answered the mau 
blandly. Then she rolled out a dozen or two 
of them, took up one, broke it aud threw it 
away, then another and another. “ What do 
youmeau?” exclaimed the astonished dealer, 
arresting her in the act of smashing the last 
egg. “Mane!” she said, “didn’t yez tell me 
they were good ? Bad luck to ye then, how 
should I know it unless I be after thryin’ 
thim ?” 
IEe was inclined to be facetious. “What 
quantities of dried grasses you keep here, Miss 
Stebbins! Nice room for a donkey to get 
into!” “Make yourself at home,” she re¬ 
sponded, with sweet gravity. 
There are two little girls of the same name 
in New Loudon, Conn. The other night one of 
them said her prayers, and for fear they might 
be credited to the other child, she added, after 
the Amen, “ No. 10 Orange street." 
In reply to a person who asked him the deri¬ 
vation of the word “ restaurant," Bayard Tay¬ 
lor replied, jokingly, with a merry twinkle iu 
his eye, “ 4 Restaurant’ is derived from res, ‘ a 
thing,’ aud taurus, ' a bull’—a bully thiug.” 
The clergyman in a certain town, as the cus¬ 
tom is, having published the bans of matri¬ 
mony between two persons, was followed by 
the clerk’s reading the hymn beginning with 
these words: “ Deluded souls, that dream of 
heaven!" 
“ What is your name ?” asked a teacher of a 
boy. “My name’s Jule," was the reply; 
whereupon the teacher impressively said: 
“ Fou should have said, ‘Julius, sir.'” Aud 
now, my lad,” turning to another boy, “ what 
is your name ?” “ Bilious, sir." 
At seven o’clock iu the moruiug two duel- 
lists. who are to figli t to the death at a place in 
the suburbs, meet at the ticket office of the 
railroad station. “Gimme a return ticket as 
usual,” says the first duellist to the clerk, iu a 
terrible tone and with a ferocious twist of his 
moustache. “ I—I say, do you always buy re¬ 
turn tickets? ” stammers his opponent. “ Al¬ 
ways.” “ Then I apologize.” 
Good's t cries are always born twins. We all 
iremember the quaint saying of Rufus Choate, 
who, when told that if he pursued his hard 
'work he would ruiu liis constitution, replied 
that the constitution was gone long since and 
that for years he had been living on the by¬ 
laws. Of Sheridan the counterpart is told. 
He was somewhat given to indulgence in 
strong drink. When remonstrated with aud 
warned that the quantity of brandy he drank 
would certainly destroy the c-oat of his stomach, 
he quietly poured out another glass aud re¬ 
plied, “Well, then, my dear friend, there is 
nothing for my stomach to do but to digest in 
its waistcoat." 
BADGERING WITNESSES 
The court aud jury, as well as the spectators, 
generally enjoy the scene when a lawyer, in 
an attempt to badger or browbeat a witness, 
comes off second best in the encounter. A cor¬ 
respondent recalls au amusing incident of this 
sort, which happened a few years ago in an 
Albauy court-room. 
The plaintiff, who was a lady, was called to 
testily. She got ou very well, and made a 
favorable impression on the jury under the 
guidance of hercounsel, Hon. Lymau Trouiain, 
until the opposing counsel, Hon. Henry Smith, 
subjected her to a sharp cross-examination. 
This so confused her that she became faiut, aud 
fell to the floor in a swoon. 
Of course this excited general sympathy iu 
the audience, and Mr. Smith saw that his case 
looked badly. 
An expedient suggested itself by which to 
make the swoouing appear like a piece of stage 
trickery, aud thus destroy sympathy for her. 
The lady’s face iu swooning had turned pur¬ 
ple-red, aud this fact suggested the new line 
of attack. The next witness was a middle- 
aged lady. Tliecouusel asked. 
“Did you see the plaintiff faint a short time 
ago ?’’ 
“ Yes, sir.” 
“People turn pale when they faint, don’t 
they ?” 
A great sensation iu the court, and an evi¬ 
dent confusion of witness. But in a moment 
she auswered, “No, not always.” 
“ Did you ever hear of a case of fainting 
where the party did not turn pale?” 
“Yes, sir.” 
“When?” 
“About a year ago.” - 
“Where was it ?’’ 
“ In this city.” 
“ Who was it?” 
By this time the excitement was so intense 
that everybody listeued anxiously for the re¬ 
ply. It came promptly, with a twiukle iu the 
witness’s eye, and a quiver on her lip, as if from 
suppressed humor.— 
“’Twas a negro, sir." 
Peal after peal of laughter shook the court¬ 
room iu which the venerable judge joined. Mr. 
Smith lost his ease, not to say his temper. 
HAY CAPS AND STACK COVERS 
Tents, Awnings, Covers 
FOR 
Horses, Wngons or Goods. 
And everything made of or finished with 
CottonJJuck. 
FLAGS 6 l BANNERS 
Of Silk or Bunting 
FOR ANY SOCI ETY OR NATIONALITY. 
GILBERT HUBBARD <& CO., 
202-208 South Water Street, Chicago, Ill. 
As Improved for 1879, 
is an entire! u win Grain Drill. Beyond a question the 
best drill ever made. Bo sure and send for our new 
illustrated circular giving illustrations and descrip¬ 
tions of the improvements. Address 
P. P. MAST & CO„ 
Springfield, Ohio 
Languor, Its Cause aud ICemedy. 
The cause of languor, when It Is not the Immedi¬ 
ate or indirect consequence of positive disease, 
Is traceable to a debilitating temperature. Per¬ 
sons living In a warm, moist climate are peculiarly 
subject to It. Diminished physical vigor and an 
indisposition to active exertion are Its character¬ 
istics. Sometimes it Is accompanied by undue re¬ 
laxation of the bowels, and by dyspeptic or bil¬ 
ious symptoms. A reliable remedy Is Hostetler's 
Stomach Bitters, a strengthening and alterative 
medicine derived from the purest and most effica¬ 
cious vegetable sources, with a pure and spiritu¬ 
ous basis, pronounced by eminent physicians a 
mild and wholesome stimulant. The Bitters, fore¬ 
most of American tonics, Is largely used In the 
tropics, where the climate Is very productive of de¬ 
bility, malarial fevers, and disorders of the bowels, 
liver and digestive organs. 
THE DRESSMAKER’S LOVER. 
Only this one dear boon I ask, 
That you will give me your a dress. 
That In your smites I yet may basque, 
And gain new life at each caress. 
The blushes mantle on your cheeks. 
Deny me not, it’s dread foulard, 
I’ve pressed my suit for days and weeks. 
And sent you letters by the yard. 
Oft at your foot I’ve knelt and braid, 
But you have cut me short and square; 
It lace with you—but I’m a frayed 
You will not uuiko up to me fair. 
It’s flashy pale has grown my face, 
Though all things look most navy blue; 
I’ll collar mine, or I will face 
Whatever c-vila may ecru. 
[Detroit Free Press. 
A lover will often take a whole year to 
press his suit, when any smart tailor will do it 
for him in less than au hour. — N. F. News. 
Says an exchange, “The mosquito, like the 
rest of the uabobs, will soou make his hum by 
the sea.” But the mainpoiut is, he’ll make some 
other person hum and howl in a way that 
would make Dennis Kearney’s mouth water.— 
Oil City Derrick. 
A Grand avenue mau sent up some bananas 
the other day, and his new cook, just from 
the country, boiled them with the cabbage 
aud beets. She said he wanted a boiled din¬ 
ner, aud she supposed that was what he sent 
up the vegetable bolognas for.— Peck's Sun. 
A great deal of poetry has been written 
about “snow white sails on a shimmering, 
sunlit sea,” but the sails ou most of the craft 
that we have observed look as if they had been 
used for circus canvas in a very wet and 
muddy season. There’s no whiteness about 
them.— New Haven Register. 
fDillF (■ H ft supplied to consumers at 
I* I R3 K I prices lotver titan ever 
I I lib I hfi V known he/ore. These fine 
qualities seldom reach the interior, being sold only in 
largo cities and among the very wealthy. Send for re¬ 
duced nr ice list, and Compare with ot her houses. 
CONSUMERS IMPORTING TEA CO., 
8 <1 Lurch Street, 
P. O. Bo*423»i Now York City. 
Manufacturers of 
Partablo Corn and Flour Mill 
For Farmers' Use. 
TlieHe Mills are cheap, du¬ 
rable and easily operated, 
Tboy are made of tuo Best 
Material, with French Mill 
Burr Stones. Adapted for 
either horse or steam power. 
IMue-libtH and eirculara Bent 
ou application. 
Bradford Mill Co.. 
Cineiauuti, 0. 
BIG GIANT CORN MILL 
Galvanized Cable Fence Strand. 
The only Wire Fence that stands the Test 
of Time. 
NO BikH338. 
PHILIPS. JUSTICE, 14 N. 5th St,, Philadelphia. 
Every Man His Own Miller. 
The only Mill tlmt will 
•Y ''“ft grind Corn with Shuck on 
without extra expense. The 
only Mill grinding Corn and 
" Cob success!ully that will 
2—- grind .Shelled Corn tlno 
iU » enough for family use. 
*?» fi. .A v Grinds twice as fust as any 
V” ,:) ker Mill 01 Bame size and 
- price. Manufactured by 
' 7/ 1 A. FIELD, SON Si CO. 
922 N. 2d St.. St. Louis. 
VmiT* A AHEAD ALL THK TIME. 
* H * WJ * £» The very beBt tresh goods 
jB K ' J fnk Ij direct from the importers 
I ut halj the usual cost. Best 
plan to Club Agents and 
largo buyers. All express charges paid. Quality 
guaranteed. New term h free. 
TUB GREAT AMERICAN TEA CO. 
P. O. Box 428S. HI aud Bit Veaoy Ht.. N. Y. 
IlDER PRESSES AND GRATERS. 
1 Boomer At Bosgukrt Pukss Oo., Syracuse, N. Y, 
Mill Manufactory 
r Kitnlillttfied 1851. 
GrlBt Millo 
OF 
FUFNCH Uriftl STONE 
Portublu Mill* fur Fufuicnj, 
Bnw HiiL Gwucfii, etc. Price 
from 3*') up. Cooipletc Mill 
A I it it it Bfcollvr £98. A boy con 
^ i Kiiud and keep la order, 
A'Upted to tiny k!«ul uf auita* 
blnpcwMr. CuuM.klo Flouring 
Cura Mill very oil on p. 
NORDTEE Js MABM01T CO. 
IndiamapollB, Ino. 
FOR EACH CROP. 
MAPES’ COMPLETE MANURE (“ A BRAND ”) for Wheat, Rye, etc. Fine aud dry, adapted for 
drilling; packed in bags (200 lbs. each). Price $40 per ton on car or boat. 
MAPES’ COMPLETE MANURES for heavy and for light soils—substitutes for stable manure. 
•Send for pamphlets, describing iWupcs’ Manures, Superphosphate, Ground Boue, Peruvian Gu¬ 
ano, Chemicals, etc. 
THE MAPES FORMULA A PERUVIAN GUANO CO., 158 Front Street, New Y ork. 
CHARLES V. MAPES, General Manager. 
