♦ 
A Swell Affair,—T he soap bubble. 
An Artist in Black.—A designing widow. 
What is the difference between a Catholic 
sister and a Catholic woman! Nun. 
In Siam the cats have their tails banged. In 
this country the entire cat is banged. 
And now Chicago claims tha t pork is a brain 
food,being a product of thousands of Western 
pens. 
When a person is iu everybody’s mouth he 
naturally has a high appreciation of the popu¬ 
lar taste. 
y IS"yer troubled with rheumatiz dis mawniu” 
Hannibal/” asked Scipio as Ms friend came 
limping up the walk. “Not zackly, Scipio,” 
groaned Hannibal. “Ye see I woke up in de 
night with a ragin’ appetite fur watermiilion. 
Massa Jones’s ga'den is close adjacent to de 
house, an'-" “Yah! yah! an’ ye eat too 
much?” “Not zackly; but Massa Jones is a 
tolable fair shot, Scipio.” 
“What becomes of men who deceive their 
fellow men/” asked a Sunday-school teacher of 
her class. “They lose the confidence of good 
people,” was the prompt answer. “Very well, 
indeed. Now, what becomes of the women 
who dQ the same thing?” The question 
jumped the class for a minute, and then a 
little girl piped out: “They usually catches 
the man for a husband, mum.” 
A POPULAR minister was asked how it was 
possible for him to preach a new sermon every 
Sunday, year after year, and to find something 
new to Say. “Doesn’t it give you a good deal 
of thought and trouble/” “Oh, no,” was the 
reply; “it is a mere matter of habit. My ser¬ 
mons have never kept me awake five min¬ 
utes.” “Ah!” said the other, “that, then, is 
probably the reason why they don’t keep other 
people awake, either.” 
Bomb lady visitors were going through a 
penitentiary, under the escort of a superintend¬ 
ent. They came to a room in which three 
women were sewing. “Dear me!” one of the 
visitors whispered. • ‘what vicious-looking crea¬ 
tures! Bray, what are they here for?”' “Be¬ 
cause they.have no other home. This is our 
sitting-room, arid they arc my w ife and two 
daughters,” blandly answered the superintend¬ 
ent.^ * 
gHi,$r{Uanrow.$ gMverttetajj, 
A good Baptist clergyman of Bergen. N. Y., a strong 
temperance man. suffered with kidney trouble, neur¬ 
algia, and dizziness almost to blindness, over wo years 
after he via 1 toW that Hop Bitters would cure him, 
because lie was afraid of and prejudiced ngulnst “Bit¬ 
ters.'’ since his cure he soys none need fear but trust 
In Hop Bittern. 
PROOF EVERYWHERE. 
If any Invalid or sick person has the least doubt of 
the power and efficacy of Hop Bitters to cure them, 
they can find cases exactly like their own, iu their own 
neighborhood, with proof positive that they can be 
easily and permanently cured at a trilling cost—or ask 
your druggist or physician. 
Greenwich. Feb. 11, 1880. 
Hop Bitters Co.— Silts: I was given up by the doctors 
to die of scrofula consumption. Two bottles of your 
Bitters cured me. LEROY BREWER. 
BOUND ADVICE. 
Mrs. McCarty: “Lay it an virry lightly, doekther; he’s a foiue, will shaped by, an’ I wouldn’t 
have am all milted up shure!” 
4 
SYRACUSE 
STEELBEAM 
PLOW. 
SYRACUSE 
SWIVEL 
^PLOW. 
Manufacturers ol Steel, Trim, and Hood 
Beam Plows I Sulky Plows. Swivel Plows, 
Steel aud Wood Bra me Cultivators and 
Rond Scrapers. Onr Steel Beam Jointer 
and Wheel Standards will not break or 
bend. 
Acknowledged superior to all others. 
Working equally well on level laud. Small 
sizes specially adapted for Vineyards, Ter¬ 
racing, or Gardening. 
Correspondence solicited. Send for Cata¬ 
logue. 
HOLSTEIN-FRIESIAN CATTLE! 
ALL AGES AND BDTII SEXES. HOME-BRED 
AND IMPORTED. 
Cows nnd lleitcrs Bred to best Netherland and 
Aaggie Hulls. 
The nveriigc Records ol a Herd pre the true test 
ol its Merit. 
The following Milk e d Kcvor.fi * been made 
by animals now In onr Herd: 
MILK. H.MCOBDS, 
Five Cows have averaged over 19,000 lbs. in n year, fen 
Cows huve averaged over Kwn lbs. in a year. Three Cows have 
averaged over 20,01)0 lbs. In a year. 
We know of about :*l Cows tKat have made yearly records exceed¬ 
ing m.iOO lbs., and 14 of them are now in our Herd and have 
averaged over 17,500 lbs 
Twenty-five have averaged over 16,000 lbs. In n year. Sixty-three, the entire number in the Herd that 
have made yearly records, Including fourteen S jear olds aud twenty-one 2-year olds, have averaged 14.7S5 lbs. 
5 oza. In o t ear ' __ _____________ 
BUTTER. RECORDS. 
Five Cows have averaged 20 lbs. 7 ozs. in a week. Niue Cows have averaged 19 lbs. H oz. In a week. Fif¬ 
teen Cows have averaged i7 lbs. 6 ozs. In a week. Six Ay ear olds have averaged 14 lbs. 8 ozs. in u week. 
Eleven 8-year olds (the entire number tested i have averaged 18 lbs. 8 o*s. In a week. Six 2-rear olds have aver¬ 
aged 12 lbs. ih ozs. in a week. Fifteen 2 year olds (t-utlre number tested) have averuged lu lbs. 83-10 ozs In a 
week. The entire original Imported Netherland Family of six cowsitwo being but three years old have 
averaged 17% lbs. In a week. This is the Herd from which to get fuunduttuu stock. Prices low for qunllty of 
SMITHS, POWELL & LAMB, 
l.AKESIDK STOCK FARM, SYRACUSE, N. Y. 
THE ASPINWALL POTATO PLANTER. 
It. Marks! It Furrows! It Drops! It Covers! 
It Distributes Fertilizer! 
Send for Circular to 
ASPINWALL M’F’G CO., 
THREE RIVERS, M1CH.1 
GOOD NEWS 
Ifl L ADIES, 
Greatest inducements ever of. 
fered. Now’b your time to Setup 
orders for our celebrated Tea, 
wlCoUeen andBeonrnabflauti- 
fl i Gold Band or Moss Roue China 
_ J’* Tea Set, or Hand mm- Decorated 
Gold Band Moss Rose Dinner Set, or Gold Band Moss 
Decorated Toilet Set. For foil particulars address 
. THE GREAT AMERICAN TEA CO., 
P. O. Box 289. 81 and 88 Veeey tit.. Now Yoik. 
CIDER 
MMEBS 
Should send lor ourNewtOCP 
18S5 Catulague, mailed rntL 
Boomer dt Bosch'rt Press Co., Syra¬ 
cuse, N. Y. 
PIANOFORTES. 
UNEQUALLED IN 
Tone Touch Workmanship and Durability. 
WILLIAM KNABE A CO. 
Nos. 204 and 206 West Baltimore Street, Baltimore. 
No. 112 Fifth Avenue, New York. 
Sutiocti the soil to the action of a Ctoel Cntbct and Lovolor, and to tbs Cutting, Lifting, Tuning Prssesi of Eotfblo Onngi 
of Cast steal Coulters. lanenso cutting povor. Crusting, Leveling sad Pulvormng porfonnod at the tame time. Entire 
absence of Spikes or Spring Tcotb avoids pulling up rubbish. Only Eirrow that cuts ovor tbe entire suffice of the ground. 
Sices, 3 to 16 ft. wide. With and without Sulky »11 itch men t. We deliver free at Distributing Depots. 
w DO NOT BE DECEIVED. Don’t, let dealers palm off n bane imitation or some in- 
I* AIK ferior tool uniter the assurance that it. 1b better. SATISFY YOURSELF BY ORDER* 
. __ ING AN “ACME 1 ’ ON TRIAL. We will fiend a double Acme to any 
JbJ responsible farmer in the United States; if St does not suits he may send it back, wo 
* "paying return freight. We don't ask pay until tried on his own farm. 
Bend for pamphlet containing thousands of testimonials from -IB Slates nnd Territories. 
Branch Office, 
HARRISBURG, PENN. 
NASH & BRO. 
Manufactory and Principal Office, 
MILLINGTON, New Jersey. 
N. B.-“ TILLAGE IB MANURE" aud other essays sent free to parties who NAME THIS PAPER, 
SCIENTIFIC GRINDING MILL 
BEST MILL ON EARTH 
For Grinding/ Ear Corn, Shelled Corn, and 
all Small Grains. Grinding/ Plates a special 
metal, hard as steel. Have double capacity, 
as they sharpen themselves on being re¬ 
versed. Fully Guaranteed. Send for illus» 
trated Catalogue. 
THE F00S MANUFACTURING CO., 
SPRINGFIELD, OHIO. 
Eastern Branch Office, 910 North Broad Street,IPhiladelphia, Penn, 
A SAFE FAMILY REMEDY. 
ESPECIALLY SUITED FOR 
CHILDREN AND DELI 
CATE PERSON'S. 
Entirely harmless and 
aelh Iouh to take. Tropic 
Knil (Laxative U uneual- 
lod for Coii.hI iputton, fill- 
lornnc>o,Sick Headache, 
Lons of Appetite, Com- 
utalnis of Children, and 
llver.stomaebaiLd bowel 
aliments generally 
Absolutely safe for de¬ 
licate and nursing wo¬ 
men. Taken eagerly by 
infants and children 
Ask for Iiiquid Tropic-Fruit Laxative. Price 
25 cents per bottle. Solti by Draggist*. 
The most benutl- 
. ful and finest toned 
1 in the world. Low 
- ,. - i»rie««, cany 
payment. Send for Catalogue, address 
Weaver Organ & Piano CQ„ Y g|«» 
Organs 
THE WILLIAMS 
foialhrestos, Horse Fow'ersiEngiies. 
Highest prize awarded these machines at the 
New York State Agricultural Society's latest trial, 
over a large number competing. 
Ample warranty and opportunity (or trial given. 
For full particulars address 
ST. JOHNSVILLE AGR’L WORKS, 
ST, JOHNSVILLE, MONTGOMERY CO.. N, Y* 
With either regular Incline or level tread track, has 
the simplest and most efficient governor made. The 
Doyl—ioYvn Junior Tlirwnrr nnd Cleaner 
has no superior. For Illustrated catalogue add res. 
sole manufacturer, DAN I VI. 11 L'M' IIIZER, 
Dovlestown. Rueks Co , Pa 
Write for Circular and tell us wlmt you want. 
B. W. PAYNE & sun. Drawer him, Kevin a, N. Y. 
or address our New York onice. 
Eastern Agents, Hiu„ Ci-UtKE & CO.. Boston. Mass. 
Our Patented Vertical Boiler will not prime. No 
danger of burning Hues. 
Clydesdale and Eng¬ 
lish Shire Horses. 
The only stud in Ameri¬ 
ca containing the very 
best, specimens of both 
breeds. Prize winners at 
Chicago Fair.t he World’s 
Fair at New Orleans, the 
Royal Society of Eng¬ 
land, etc. Large impor¬ 
tation arrived August 13, 
and more to follow, 
jOur buying facilities be- 
f! lng unequalled, there 
t» no such opportunity 
offered drew lie re, to 
procure first class animals Of choicest breeding at 
very nj-est prices. Every animal duly recorded 
and guaranteed. Terms to suit all customers. 
Catalogues on application. 
Heebnera’Tmnroved Thre»hliiB MRchlne. Ful¬ 
ly "’at ranted. Catalogues with valuable Information 
Free Sole owners of TAvebtread patents All others 
fritigemenis. 11—burr A Haim, Lansdale, Pa. 
eebner's latent Level-Tread Horse-Powers. 
V1TH PATENT SPEED 
REG!) LATOR. 
CORN MILL. 
Hc*it Corn Add Cob 
Grinder In (he 
ENGINES 
AND 
BOILERS 
OF ALL HIM. 
9«nd for Catiloftat 
tOMMMON SENSE ENGINE CO., 
Hprlaffirld, Obi*- 
FS^GRISTMILL 
steel Con Crushor, ana Biov* 
for Me*l They UkoLESS 
POWER, do More Work, 
an darn mors durable than any 
other mill. Send for Pueripdos 
Catalogue. Also inMl'frs of the 
Union Hor»* Cowm, *ltk Imyal 
Trfij.il Thresher* and Cleaners, 
fired Culler*, Circular Ayu«, tie. 
Ac DUO.. Philadelphia, 1 ’k. 
AGENTS 
WANTED 
Farmers say that we have i lie first 
llay Carriers evtu made. Our 
LITTLE GIANT HAY LOADER 
is the greatest labor saving Inven¬ 
tion or the times. New Principle. 
Don't miss II. Illustrated circulars, 
showing how w e can sell cheaper than 
any one, sent free. Address 
OHO U N BROS., Box 414, Marion, O. 
