THE RURAL NEW-YORKER. 
MAY 45 
J^umorous. 
A little boy, whose sprained wrist bad been 
relieved by bathing it in whiskey, surprised 
his mother by asking, ‘Did papa sprain his 
throat when he was a boy!” 
Father was telling his little son of the won¬ 
ders of modern science; that they had learned 
the distance of the stars, and through the spec¬ 
troscope had discovered what they were made 
of. Little son: “Yes, but how did they find 
out their names?” 
A man who was not of much account him¬ 
self was forever boasting of his ancestry. A 
plain farmer, tired of this nonsense, asked him 
why his family were like a hill of potatoes. 
He gave it up. “Why,” said the farmer, “the 
best part of them are under ground.” 
A browbeating counsel asked a witness how 
far he stood from the plaintiff when he was 
struck. “Just seventeen feet nine nud one 
quarter inches,” was the reply, “How came 
you to be so exact, my friend?” “Because I 
expected some fool would ask me, so I meas¬ 
ured it.” 
“Mamma, be late sappers bad?” “Yes, my 
child, very bad.” “What makes ’em bad?” 
“Why, it injures the health to eat just before 
going to bed.” “Oh! I thought may be it in¬ 
jured the health to go to bed right after sup¬ 
per.” Johnny wasn't hustled off to bed as 
early as usual that night. 
pi.sccUancou.'Si §Umti.$'ing, 
A SAFE FAMILY REMEDY. 
ESPECIALLY SUITED FOR 
LINENS. 
-• 
JAMES McCREERY & CO. 
in addition to their very 
attractive stock of Fine 
Linens, are now offering a 
large assortment of medi- 
nm and cheaper grades of 
Damasks,Napkins,Towels, 
etc., snitable for Hotel use, 
at lower prices than ever 
before. 
ORDERS BY MAIL 
from any part of the coun¬ 
try will receive careful 
and prompt attention. 
JAMES McCBEERY A C 0 „ 
Broadway and lltli St., 
New York. 
RUBBER 
LA^ATIIVE 
> CHILDREN AND DELI 
CATE PERSONS. 
.CX 1 / Entirely harmless and 
/ -.Ov-7 i A>. \ delicious to take. Tropic 
/.A 1 C//U\ Frultliaxatlvels uneqal- 
V led for Constipation, Bil 
V' i CvS,. l0U8ne**J81ekHeadache, 
Loss of Appetite, Com- 
L . \ _ ' • _ -I- , _ plaints of Children, and 
A 1Y AXIfX/IT liver,stomachandbowel 
AY JfVPA I lj V L. ailment* generally. 
>\, K Ah»o)utcly aafe for tie 
y Lf J Heat* and nun (no wo- 
Y’/ r men. Taken, tanr.rly by 
Y infant! and children 
Ask tor Liquid Tropic-Krnlt Laxative. Price 
25 cents per Pottle. Sold by iJruggiet*. 
DAIRY THERMOMETERS i 
Every - farmer should have one. Sent safely by mall 
for 50c. 
Send tor Catalogue of Thermo meters, Lacto meters, 
Creamometers, and Thermometers for IneubaiortB^ 
w. m. McAllister, Optics an. 
720 CHESTNUT STREET, PHILADELPHIA, PA. 
ANEW 
BUTTER PRESTRYATIYE. 
KELLOGG’S MIL SET. 
Positively Prevents Butler from ever becom¬ 
ing Rancid . 
THE 
Great American 
Pi 1 
B C«NM- -, A'NV 
good 
Greatest iniluocmetite ever of. 
fered. Now’s your time to get up 
credere lor oar celebrated Tea* 
v- Tea Set, or Handeorn* Decorated 
Gold Band Moss Boss Dinner Set, or Ould Band Most 
Decorated Toilot Set. For foil particulars address 
THE GREAT AIMER -- — 
P. O. Bum Ml and83 
CIDER 
__ _ aniptift Hhonld aend lor onr CDCC 
IS A W New Catalogue, mailed illCL 
ITSnhLlU Boomer dt Boaohert Fret* Co., Byra- 
* ouss. If, Y, 
ROSSIS IROltf ORE PAINT 
Is made from Red Iron Ore mined In Rossle, N. Y.-Is the best and most durable Paint for Tin, Iron find Shingle 
Roofs, Barns, Fences, Farm Utensils, Etc., Will not crack or peel. 
Will protect roofs from sparks. Valuable for coloring mortar. Samples free. Ask prices of 
Rossie Iron Ore Paint Co., _ 
OGDENSBURG, N. Y. 
H HAMMOND’S SLUC SHOT M 
agar Thurbor, Whviand & Co's Butter Department, 
New York City: Col. Wm. Oroisler, Northport, L. I.. N. 
Y„ and others. Send for Circular. 
BUTTER PRESERVATIVE SALT CO., 
Office and Factouy, foot of 
West Eleventh Street, New York City, N. Y. 
CARTKR’8 
IMPROVED NEEDLE HAY KNIFE. 
This knife has been tested with the most celebrated 
knives of other makers, and has proved an easier and 
faster cutter tliau any other. Its special excellence 
consists In a chisel edge tooth. It may be used for 
cutting hay In the mow, slack and bale; also for 
ditching, cutting peat, or for any other work Tor 
which a hay knife Is used. 
Send*" :lrcular. 
North Wavne Tool Co i 
KWIh.il ” ” HALLOWELL, MAIN1 ■? 
---:i f 
HUCUAN’8 
SILVER FLEECE 
Instantly soluble In water at any temperature. 
r.hPftne.st.'MosT Convenient and Effective. Will POM- 
Instantly soluble In water at any temperature. 
Cheapest Most, Convenient and Effective. Will pos¬ 
itively Gore Seab. Send for Circular. 
1 y CARBOLIC SOAP* CO., 83 John St., New V ork. 
—— wvjvo Wh. y KiXiPEit, Pres’t. 
='XtOBT. C. Bucilak, Secretary aud Treasurer. 
Costsonly $8.95 per sn. (10x10ft.) i 
tlife time on Steep or 1 lat roofM. Ready for use. An 
mtly can apply it. I llnstrated book I tee if you t/ciili 
his paper. Write at once to 143 Duane St.,N. i. Cit 
INDIANA PAINT AND HOOFING CO., 
HICHLAWN 
ALCANTARA 
*«» ALCYONE. 
By GEORGE WILKES, dam ALMA MATER, by MAM- 
J BRING PATOHEN. 
The success or George Wilkes on the turf and as a 
sire, with the high rate of speed shown by each of the 
produce of Alina Mater at an early age. will enable 
these horses to transmit the qualities of tlielr sire and 
dam with great uniformity. 
Terms, $180, 
At time of service. Usual privilege of return. 
For catalogues, address 
J, G. DAVIS, Agent, Lee, Maas. 
GALVANIZED SHINGLES. 
Makes handsomest, most durable, absolutely storm 
proof roof lu existence. Send for particulars to 
The National Sheet Metal Hoofing Co., 
510 East 20th Street, New A ork. 
•l ■*" 
v 'S'-f -linY . ___ 
1’ f ■■ _f = " 
FTYiT.'-! W :m i^TiTr 
y - atoi"iiuu&'wwi 
ksiaiisu ..iLipqm mplli^ 'fhC *- - 
COOLEY CREAMERS. 
: r wtMrrmir, 1 KWVI 
|K:/v '<rs >- jj;" 
'Jfl 
LARGELY IMITATED , BUT NOT EQUALED. 
THEY HA VE A PATENTED PROCESS 
WHICH NO OTHERS GAN USE. 
Are used by more flue butter makers and stock 
breeders than any other apparatus, because they 
have proved to make the largest quantity 
and best quality of butter with least labor 
and expense. They surpass everything in tlie Cream Gatliering Sys¬ 
tem. Have both Top and Bottom Skimmers. Cream drawn FIRST or 
last. No danger or sediment. Thick walls with dead air space. Used with or without ice. 
SIX GOLD Medals and SEVENTEEN SILVER Medals awarded for superiority of process and 
product. Send for circulars giving facts and references sustaining these claims. DAVIS SWING CHURNS 
EUREKA and SKINNER’S BUTTER WORKERS, CARRIERS, PRINTS, and a full line of Creamery supplies. 
VERMONT FARM MACHINE CO., Bellows Falls, Vt 
FOR REASONS WHYrfhif 
STODDARD’S KSm IS 
With SURFACE SKIMMING ATTACHMENT ,r ; j* 
18 THE ■■ ^ 
MOST POPULAR CREAMERY ®p 
ON THF. MAKKET, AND FOR CmCtTLAUS OF THE ’H 5p 
BEST LINE OF DAIRY GOODS MADE, |; 
MOSELEY & STODDARD MF'G CO. Poultney, Vt. t ' ? 
REED <fc BARTON 
37 UNION SQUARE, NEW YORK, 
MANUFACTURERS OF 
ELECTRO GOLD AND SILVER PLATE, 
INVITE INSPECTION OF THEIR EXTENSIVE STOCK OF 
TABLE WARE, 
WHICH EMBRACES EVERYTHING REQUIRED FOR USE OR DECORATION OF 
THE TABLE: 
Coffee, Tea, Dessert, and Water Sets; 
Cake and Fruit Baskets; Meat, Vegetables and Baking Dishes; 
Epergnes, Candelabra, Spoons, Forks, Cutlery, Etc. 
THEY WOULD ALSO CALL ATTENTION TO THEIR LARGE ASSORTMENT OF 
NOVELTIES IN 
Oxidized Silver, Gold Inlaid and Applied Work. 
PEARSON’S 
' FERTILIZERS 
High Grade. Reliable. Lasting. 
Manufactured In dry condition, thereby assuring full 
weight of fertilising mat, rial. Mom tlatterlng results 
where used Hide l>y Bide with other preparations. 
Where there are no agents for these Fertilizers, orders 
direct to the manufacturers will receive prompt atten¬ 
tion. JOHN M. I’KARSON, Hudson, N. V. 
Send for catalogue. 
STEARNS’ 
STANDARD 
FERTILIZERS. 
Splendid returns to the farmer for money Invested. 
Permanent fertility to the soil. 
STEARNS <fc CO., Manuf., 
149 FRONT STREET. N. Y. 
Valuable Farmers’ Handbook on application. 
Agents wuntod where we have none established. 
flsa brn^ 
s The Best 
Waterproof Coat 
Ever Male. 
Noun g.'!iuin« iiiiIchh Don't waste vour money on agum or rubber coat. The FISH BRAND SLIt KEK 
atauqii'il with Urn nbovc ubsolntfly enter and tn'/td ruooe, anil will keep yon dry in the hardest storm 
TBAPK MARK. Ask lor the “FISH BRAND” klickkk and take no other, ll your storekeeper does 
not have ihe-risrt «u*Nn”, send for dewrlntlve eiitaloguo to A J. TOWF.lt. 20 Simmons SL, Itnslmi. Mass 
__jKtSKLST * THRESHER CO.# 
Springfield Ohio. 
^ best threshing machinery 
I^PLmade - --sens for new 
\ ILLUSTRATED CATALOGUE. 
BOOKWALTER ENCINES 
UPRIGHT AND HORIZONTAL, 
3 TO 10 HORSE POWER. 
OVER 3,000 IN SUCCESSFUL OPERATION. 
Illustrated Pamphlet sent free. Address, 
JAMES LEFFEL & CO., Springfle/d, Ohio. 
Eastern Office: 110 Liberty SL,New York. 
3 
