I 
“I say, papa, beard the news?” “No, my 
boy. What is it?” “Why, they aren’t goin’ 
to have the lamp-posts any longer!” “I am 
surprised! What is the reason?” “Why, 
they’re long enough now.” 
A school board recently asked the follow¬ 
ing question of a little girl: “What is the 
plural of man.” “Men.” “Very well; and 
what is the plural of child?” “Twins,” imme¬ 
diately replied the little girl. 
At a book sale a copy of Dew’s “Essay on 
Souls” was knocked down to a shoemaker, who 
to the great amusement of the assembly, inno¬ 
cently asked the auctioneer if he had any more 
books on shoemaking to sell. 
She: “Epldum, what makes so many cat¬ 
tails grow in dis heah pon’?” He: “Well, I 
should say! Doan you know? Why, dey 
grows up from kittens dat people has drowned 
in de pon’, of course. Pea's like you wimmen 
folks doan know nullin’ about aglieultshah.” 
“What is the meaning of a backbiter?” 
said a reverend geutleman during an exam¬ 
ination at a parochial school. This was a 
puzzle. It went down the class till it came to 
a simple little urchin, who said, “P’r’aps 
it be a flea.” 
“Biddy,” said a lady to her servant, “I wish 
you would step over and see how old Mrs. 
Jones is this morning.” In a few minutes 
Biddy returned with the information that 
Mrs. Jones was seventy-two years, seven 
months and twenty-eight days old. 
Upon her first attendance at Sunday-school, 
a little girl three years of age was given the 
verse to recite, “Blessed are the peacemakers.” 
When she returned home, her mother inquired 
what her verse was. She answered. “Blessed 
are the dressmakers’ pieces.” 
Pi.$r*ni«uttu 0 
The Cold-Water Dip, 
(THYMO.OHESOL.) 
A very highly concentrated, non poisonous fluid- 
mixes readily with cold or warm water—the simplest, 
safest, surest cure for TICKS, 
LIC E3, 
MANSE, SCAB, all Insect Pests, all Skin trouhles, and 
many other Diseases of Live Stock. Kecommeuded by 
many prominent Breeders See circular, sent on ap¬ 
plication. T. W. UWFOK0 & t'O., 
Baltimore, Aid. 
UNION WIND MILL CO. 
Manufacturers of Sectional Geared 
Sectional Pumping Mills, etc. 
--5JJU » All work guaranteed. 
-V* __Send for Catalogue and 
prices, mentioning this pa- 
JW frJI y per. Address 
UNION WIND MILLM’F»G Cf). 
ALBION, MICH.; or 
F. II. LOO)1 IS, Gexkral Eastern Agent, 
11 CALEDONIA AVE..ROCHESTER, N. Y„ Drawer 267. 
The Auburn Farm Wagon. 
__ _ _ _ Pmum tor R. (V-Y. 
“ Say , you, ’ Lijah! Ef dat mewel done know I drop dem lines he mought take et in he's 
foolish head ter run away iviv me. Youjes better go ’n take him by de head, chile 
HOLSTEIN-FRIESIAN CATTLE! 
LARGEST HERD AND LARGEST AVERAGE MILK RECORDS 
3 cows have averaged over 20,WM lbs. in a year. 
5 cows have averaged over 19,000 lbs. In a year. 
10 cows have averaged over 18,000 lbs. In a year. 
25 cows have averaged over 10,0IX< lbs. In a year. 
25 two-year olds have Just completed (heir records, the entire 
lot averaging 12,109 lbs. 8 oz. each 1u a year, 
ItUTTKll RECORDS. 
4 cows have averaged 21 In*. 1 1 ; tiz. lu a week. 
6 cows have averaged 211 lbs. 3>j oz, In a week. 
11 cows have averaged 19 lbs. H oz. In a week. 
28 cows have averaged 16 llis. 13 oz. In a week. 
11 three-year-olds have averaged 13 lbs. 111$ oz. In a w r eek 
21 two-year-olds have averaged 11 lbs. 9 oz. In a week. 
This is the herd from which to get foundation stock. 1'rices 
JAMES McCREERY & CO 
Invite the attention ot'ont- 
nf-town buyers to their 
large and attractive stock 
of* rich Silks., Velvets, 
Flushes, Dress Goods, 
Laces, India Shawls, Ho¬ 
siery, Gloves, Upholstery 
Goods, Suits, Wraps, 
Housekeeping Goods, etc. 
We have in all our re¬ 
spective Departments a 
Full line of medium priced 
goods to the finest import¬ 
ed. 
Corrrespondence from 
any part of the United 
States will receive prompt 
attention, and samples 
sent on application. 
Orders by mail or express 
tilled without delay. 
Broadway & llth St. 
NEW YORK. 
Thte la the herd from which to gel foundation stock, cnees U U IIIV II it it II iy i y ju i|Ul X X ■ 
When writing mention RURAL New-Yorker. low for quality of stock. SMITHS, POWELL & LAMB, . *7 . Z. * ' , * “ ‘ * 
Lakeside Stock Farm, Syracuse. N.Y. AGRICULTURAL DEPARTMENT 
AMERICAN ROAD MACHINE CO. 
Successors to S. PENXOCK A SONS CO., Kennett Square, Pa., and UEO. >V. TAFT, Ablngton. Conn. 
MPROVED ROAD MAKING IMPLEMENTS 
for city.'town and country streets and highways. BIACUINES SUNT ON TU I V L, and SATIS¬ 
FACTION GUARANTEED. Purchasers arc assured of immunity from law suits, f 4P~ For circulars 
FACTION GUARANTEED. Purchasers are assured of immunity from law su 
and colored a M CD I PA M DO A fl MAPUINC POMDANV l/CMNCT 
AMERICAN ROAD MACHINE COMPANY, KENNETT SQUARE, PA. 
NURSERY STOCK-FALL 1886. 
SYRACUSE NURSERIES 
E. D. CLAPP WAGON CO. (Limited), 
Send for circular. AUBURN, N. Y. 
Mention this paper. 
The old and OVnAflllOr KllUlOmirO Come to the front 
Reliable! uTllAuUuL NUnuLmLO For the Fall of 1886 
with the choicest Stock of tlielr specialties, STANDARD APPLES, STD. and DWARF PEARS, 
PLUMS and CIIICURIES, ever offered to the public, all young, thrifty and well rooted. 
Also a very superior assortment of GENERAL NURSERY STOCK both FRUIT AND OR¬ 
NAMENTAL Including all the popului OR N A M F.NTA L TREES, SHRUBS, mid ROSES. 
All Nurserymen and Dealer* are cordially Invited to Inspect this superior slock or correspond with us, before 
placing their orders for the coming Foil. 
SMITHS, POWELL & LAMB, Syracuse, N. Y. 
(When writing always mention Rural New Yorker. 
1886 GARFIELD’S 
In the year 1886-87 courses of instruction will be giv¬ 
en as follows: 
In Agricultural mid Applied Chemistryj 
Professors CALDWELL, SCHAEFFER and NEW- 
BERRY: 8 Courses. 
In Botuny, Horticulture and Arboricul¬ 
ture: Professors PRENTISS and DUDLEY : 14 Courses. 
In Entomology mid General Iuvertebrate 
Zoology; Professor COMSTOCK: 7 Courses. 
In Geology | Professor 11.S. WILLI AMS: 3 Courses. 
In Veterinary Hoieuee; Professor LAW: 8 
Courses. 
In Applied Agriculture; Professuf ROBERTS: 6 
Courses. 
During the present year a course of lectures Is given 
on the Management of the Dairy hy the Honorable L. 
B. Arnold- a similar course may be expected next year. 
A vrteri.iJirian build- ■< Is to be erected Ill the cou 1 
of the present year, an four rooms are to be added to 
the Agricultural I .a bon torynnd Museum. 
The University Farm contains 255 genus, of which 
about 125 acres are iu tillage. The farm contains two 
very lurge barns, a dairy bouse, and an excellent herd 
Of stuck. All the upplUnee.s of the Farm are used 
chiefly for the purposes of Illustrative aud experiment¬ 
al husbandry. 
Students who lake the full course and pass the req- 
usltu examination* receive the degree or Bachelor of 
Science in Agriculture. 
Students not eandldah’- for a degree are received 
Without examination a* "Special .Students’’ aud are 
admitted l/j any or all of the above courses, provided 
the applicant* are 13 or more years of age; and pro¬ 
vided they satisfy the Professors of Agriculture of 
their disposition and ability to profit by the Ins true 
tlou- 
The next collegiate y ear begins September 14,1886! 
To till students of Agriculture “Tuition is Free." 
Full information sent on application. Questions 
concerning courses of study should be addressed to I. 
P. ROBERTS, Professor of Agriculture; nil other ques¬ 
tions to K. L. WILLIAMS, Treasurer, 
Counku. r.NivicusiTV, Itbaeu, N. Y„ May, 1886. 
THE MAN 
?10 MASKS 
5 Ton VYutfoa 8cale«t 
Iron L»v*r», Su«! Br*as 
Tat* !Uam *b 4 B«xa hi, km 
S0O and 
JOtntS k» pari Ua fr.lfkv—far tnm 
rdc tin maallon ikli papar u4 
BOILERS,\V;^f 
* OF ALL SIZES. 
Write for Circular and toll us what you want. 
U. W. PAY NE a si IN, Drawer 1006, Elmira, n v 
N ew York Office, 107 LIBERTY STREET. 
Eastern Agents, Hill, CLARKE & Co.. Boston, Mass. 
Our Patented Vertical Boiler will not prime. Nc 
danger of burning lines. 
SIMPLE — DURABLE — EFFICIENT. 
manufactured and for sale by 
AMES PLOW COMPANY, 
QOJ1NCY HALL, BOSTON, 
Alld 53 BEEKMAN STREET, NEW YORK. 
Agents w T antod. Send for Circular and Illustrated 
Pamphlet of Implements aud Machines. 
SWIFT & MONFORT 
MANUFACTURERS OF 
SWIFT’S SINGLE AND REVERSIBLE 
HAY CONViflYORS 
Dealers In Forks, Hopes, Pulleys, and Agricultural 
Implements of all kinds. Send for circulars. 
AllLliROOK , N. I. 
IT D1VQ to sell our Rubber Printing Stamps. Sam 
II lAI u pies free. J. M. Mitten & Co., Cleveland, O, 
010 E Ft 
GOOD NEWS 
Greatest inducements ever of¬ 
fered, Now’s your time to set up 
orderb for our celebrated Teas 
v~a Coflopn.Kiid HDvnre a beauti- 
hA GoldBandorMort RoseChina 
J Tea Set, or fiandeotne Decorated 
Gold Band Mom Rcea Dinner Set. or Gold Band Mo u 
ZXeooraied Toilet Set. For fall p*rt1c*u lare addre« 
THE GREAT AMERICAN TEA CO„ 
F. O. EoxZA. Elands' Voooy ttt,T York, 
Should send tor our CDCC 
New Catalogue, mailed rilLfc 
Boomer dt Boeelurt Free* Co., Byra- 
owe, N. ¥. 
Acknowledged 
by all to be 
THE 
BEST 
oonsidoring LkSIAJ " 1 v 
43r easy draft, durability, 
QUANTITY &. QUALITY of Work. 
FRElf. e ^Address A. W. GRAY'S SONS 
Patentees and Bole Manufacturers,' 
MIDDLETOWN SPRINGS, Vermont. 
THRESHING MACHINES 
HORSE POWERS AND SAW MILLS 
t.i uin Thrcaiier*, unequalcd in capacity for sep¬ 
arating and cleaning. 
Combined Grain nud Clover Threshers, 
fully equal to regular grain machines on grain, and a 
genuine clover lluller la addition. 
Two Speed Traction »V I’luin Rnguiea, 4 to In 
Horae Power, positively the most desirable for Light¬ 
ness, Economy, Power and safety. Boiler has horizon¬ 
tal tubes, nud Is therefore Tree from the objectionable 
features of vertical boiler*. 
llorae Powera, hub I.ev, r nud Endless Chain. 
All sizes. Staid for i 'alalogue. Address, 
THE WESTINGH0U8E CO., 
Bchenectndy, N. V. 
