M'» yV. 
THE RURAL HEW-YORKER. 
§EPT 4 
Law’n Order: “Keep off the grass.”— 
Detroit Free Press, 
If it was uot for the weather there never 
would be any variety in some people’s con¬ 
versation. —Texas Sift ings. 
The House to the Senate: “Please pass 
the oleomargarine,” and the Senate passed it. 
—Rochester Post-Express. 
The fat woman at a dime museum may not 
be "all w ool,” but she is generally “a yard 
wide or more .”—Norristown Herald. 
“1 think I wear twos,” she simpered to the 
shoemaker, “do I not?” “Yes, ma’am,” said 
the honest dealer, “.you wear twos.” Then 
under his breach; “Ono on each foot .”—New 
York Sun, 
Aged negro, speaking into street letter¬ 
box; “Hullow indar! Is dar any letters for 
Efraim Sirnes? Umph! don’t pay no ’tention 
to eullud gentleman’s question, eh? Knowed 
it ud be dat way as soon as de Democrats got 
in offis.”— Judge. 
Fond Father; “How is this, Charles? 
Your standing at the last examination was 
very low.” Charles: “Yes, sir.” F. F.: “What 
is the reason?” C.: “Well, those old profess¬ 
ors went and asked a lot of questions that I 
could not answer .”—Detroit Free Press. 
Bagi.ey: “I notice that you frequently 
speak of things that happen at 2 a. m., and so 
on. Are you a newspaper man?” Del laggs: 
“No, but I frequently walk the streets all 
night.” “Insomnia?” “No. My wife locks 
the door at 10 p. m .”—Philadelphia Call. 
Mai d: “Yes, I have sent him back his let¬ 
ters; given him back his ring.” Edith; “And 
are you happy?” “No, I am miserable.” 
“Then wh} r did you do it?” “Well, pa and 
ma were so pleased with him I was afraid we 
weren’t suited to each other .”—Omaha 
World. 
“Have you traveled much?” asked a pic¬ 
nicker of a Butler Couuty youth at a picnic 
last week. “Traveled much!” replied the 
young fellow; “I should say I had. Why I 
go to Sharpsburg every week with a load o’ 
hay or suthin ’.”—Pittsburg Chronicle-Tele¬ 
graph. 
"Mattie, Mattie,” called out an Omaha 
dame to her daughter, “I wish you would 
play something else besides Wagner. I am so 
siukof it.” “1 am not at the piano, ma,” re¬ 
sponded the daughter from an adjoiuiug 
room. “Then who is?” “Nurse and the 
Baby .”—Omaha World. 
A little boy was watching his mother 
make sandwiches to carry to the picnic last 
Thursday and asked what she was putting 
between the biscuits. She replied; “Deviled 
ham.” He thought for a moment and then 
said: “Well, you needn’t give me any of that 
bad man’s ham, for I belong to the Star of 
Promise .”—Fair haven (Mass.) Star, 
A couple from the humbler walks of life 
came before a Justice of the Peace to be mar¬ 
ried, when, the ceremony being over, the 
bride began to weep copiously. “What’s the 
matter?” asked the new husband. “I never 
told you that 1 don’t know how to cook,” 
sobbed the bride. “Don’t fret. I’ll uot have 
anything for you to cook. I’m a poet.”— 
Fligtnde Bluetter. 
Bachelor; “What in the world are you 
hunting around on the carpet like that for?” 
Benedict: “Iwantapiu.” Bachelor: “Want 
a pin? Why don’t you look on the pincushion 
then?” Benedict (looking up in surprise from 
his search): “See here, old man when you’ve 
been married as long as I have you’ll know 
where to look for a pin when you want one.” 
—Exeter Gazette. 
Not the Bustle he Meant. —“There has 
been an awful bustle here this afternoon,’' 
sai^ Spicer to Mrs. S., who had just returned 
to the hotel from an afternoon ride. “I know 
it,” remarked the lady viciously, “it made me 
look like a camel and I have scut it back to the 
clumsy woman who made it. Now what are 
you grinning at, Seth?” But Spicer had bus¬ 
tled out of the room without vouchsafiug au 
explanation .—Boston Bulletin. 
gttisu’Unumts' 
JU-r uu i ma*€ jirofltulili’ LATE WHiTF 
PEACH; I'hnir* i»<-l lute Yellow 
pfUCli I .n? i'« •*! Fl'Uoit IkYS nulublu 
fur ill *t*«noriK. W llllum’* Early Ked, 
-□SI u[ti>h a - Ciootlxtook ApiileTrrfc** 
i ford! 
L la®8 
1 moot tiopul.T! Ulifl la to kv^plug kic»*iV l'ourn, 
Cherry, Quin™ (ami nil frail trow and 
fruit Wring plum*. 200,000 '^year-old Aa- 
nurntfu* root*. I.arge stock or -Shade and 
Or nanrem *1*. for Catalog mi* K, 
ROGERS * SON, Mt, Belly, IS. J, 
The BEST DRILL nrfHl WORLD 
THOUSANDS IN USE. 
A PERFECT FORCE FEED. AN ACCURATE 
SURVEYOR. A COMPLETE LIFTING LEVER. 
NO CHANGE OF GEARS TO CHANGE QUAN¬ 
TITY. FORCE FEED GRASS SEED SOWER. 
A PERFECT INDICATOR. 
1 The Buckeye l.'Insw 
| J.__—--1 Feed Fertilizer Drill 
IF leads everywhere. 
"L-T w'V-v'Jj Hows uny kind of 
• 1 —— II'—. £ fertilizer In any eon- 
^SE»n. • . dltion. NOKlJST. 
h___ fm ,I ill \ No trouble. Always 
_ ready tor work. 
K X^VJP \ Send for Circulars. 
JAjM I Buckeye I’nlci- 
i l J ll-/' , rf ? Tutors. Srislrrs, 
lv vHd sowers, florae 
:\a Hoes.Cliler ,11111s 
1 el J*^3I te.yry. Igl Uayltnkes, 
i?;=| Double shovel 
|3j Plow*, Hug Truck*. 
-Itl linTiYK MAST & CO., 
JI M I SV\I Springfield, 0. 
rfeapcB Houses: 
; Pklfhdetphla, I’n., 
v t- IahiIh, Mo., 
Peoria, 111., 
Omului. Neb.. 
*>nn Franelseo. t’al. 
Kun.nH City, Mo. 
St. Puul, Minn. 
® Th t 
^ N I N 0 ® 
Two • Bale • Press 
The onl ess making two bales at a tlm*. 
The on 1 ' .’ess fed on both sides of the plunger. 
The on ress with Two Baling Chambers. 
The oi hll size Press as portable as a wagon. 
The only Ptobs without complicated parts. No ex¬ 
pense for repairs. . , 
A man can draw the lover for the first part of the bale. 
Special terms on the First Press In a neighborhood. 
FARMERS’ FRIEND M’F’G CO., Dayton, Ohio. 
Cl IP If F DwalerprooiCoat 
O LIU IV bit Ever Male. 
Should send lor our [DEC 
New Catalogue, mailed • **1.1. 
Boomer dt Jiosohcrt Prett Oe., Bur* 
MM, n. r. 
Nona genuino unless Don’t waste yourtiionev on a gum or rubber coat. The FISH BRAND SLICKER 
stomped with the above j 8 absolutely mileranil wind moor, and will keep you dry in the hardest storm 
trade MAKE. Asfcfor tho “FISH BRAND” sltckkr atul take lit) other. If your storekeeper doet 
not have the "run BR*!ir>”,Sen<l tor descriptive rat alngue to A. J. TOWER, 2U Simmons St., Bojdon._Mass 
FRUIT AND ORNAMENTAL TREES 
SMALL FRUITS, BULBS, SHRUBS ANU ROSES. 
Special utteutiou is called to our remarkably Fine Slock of 
STANDARD and DWARF PEARS 
U jk 1|| MM FP Including su«hkind* an Niagara. .louden, F.m- 
iir ALSO till A I k W I II CO l‘lrc State, Willis, Frances li. Hayes, etc. 
Prices reduced to Buit the times, Oorrespondence solicited. Catalogue Ft;ee. 32d Year. (SOO Acres. 
EE THE STORRS HARRISON CO. KBWfWfi: 
r niyjir pulverizing 
a umc, harrow, 
14 Clod Crusher and Leveler. 
The TicHfc Tool in tlv* world for preparing 
I ■ Wheat, Ground and for Hummer Fallows. 
* ■ NASH & BIB)., Bole Manufacturers, 
Harrisburg, T‘a., & Millington, New Jersey 
jV.B.—“ Tillage is Manure" and other essays sent, 
free to parties who name this paper. 
wwMwwaa nr 
The Fercheron if. tho only Fruuch brood pos¬ 
sessing a Stud-Book bDJo^ Frflmceand Amerloft 
whore eligibility to entry is bas' d on auHtenuc 
pedigree. 1 I jMtva a few imported.Ht-'Ulions of 
individual excel Inure (but not eligible to entry 
in tho Fonhanm Stud-Hook) which I wiU aell 
ut half the price of pedigreed antatiU of equal 
appearance. lOO-page Ca-taloguo, ULustratoa 
with engravings sketched by ’ 
sent free. Address, '’^^-.V'nn’nols 
B ayne, I>u l uge Co., Illinois. 
IMPERIAL 
HAND 
AND SULKY 
STEEL 
OR WOOD 
BEAMS 
IN STEEL. 
CHILLED 
■> t -AND • 
COMBINATION 
SAME SULKY 
ATTACHABLE 
TO 
HAND PLOW. 
gy Uf ACTURE;D 
BUCHER,GIBBS 4C0 
0A.l^T01sr, OHIO. 
Incurp..rated May /7th, i8Wi. .* 
lutANcu Mouses: 
BIRDSALL & SONH, 1K14 Murket St.. Philo,,.Pa. 
SCOBIE & PARKER, Pittsburgh, Pa 
C. KNOBLOfK, 290 E Water St., Milwaukee, WIs. 
E. A. ALMONl), ticn’l Ag’t, Indianapolis, Iud 
11 T. CONIjE, Indianapolis., Ind 
R. L HICKS. GeilT Ag’t. St. Louis. Mo. 
J. WILDER A CO., 159 Sr. Bit W Uth St , Cincinnati, O. 
DELONG Jt CO„ Lexington. Ky. 
STANTON, THOMPSON A CO.. Sacramento, Cal. 
HKt >w N A FOSTER HA KDW AKECO., Los A ugoles.Cal, 
Whitman’s Patent AmericiiE>. 
The best Cider and Wine 
Mill made. Will make *o 
per cent, more cider than 
any other. Gcared'outsidc. 
Perfectly Adjustable. 
Prices ib low ns tinV first* 
class Mill. Mbs. of ilOTSfir 
Powers, Cora Shelters, lliiy 
IVcsscs, Fcc<i Cutters, Mills, 
etc. Send for circulars. „ 
Whitmau Agrionltdrai 0o.. 
ST. LtyUIB^MO. 
Improved LIVDBAFL.1C It A ,11H 
Scud for Circular and Price 1.1st, Address 
ALLEN tlAWTHOKF, Jr., 
WILMINGTON, PEL. 
Awarded Medal and Diploma at the 
'ConUuuilal KxlLihltlon, l'hllailclpnlfti 
Ajax Engine on Cornlsli Boiler. 
The ohffttHvn, llr«L 
elan, hnrimuial Eu- 
gliin In the luarket. \ fff t j, 
KtiglueJOf all kiihU, Rf/JW. 
tut Savins. Ttiri.h- 
Ins, anrt Glnuiu*. u .-j** 
rowlaltr. Saw anil /> /MP 
drill MllU.Thif f.f ’r*r 
i.l, lug Maehlni's, tit'..'; , - 
ftw.. ll aprolalty. i V V iG* 
Bo ml fi.r lllu«U*( 04 l 
OmUcMi ajm 
l.R.KARqniAH. . 
York, 1‘cuoa. 
Gold bevel edge. All Hidden Name Cards, 15c. 
Agents’ Samplo Book, 25c. 12 Scrap Pictures aud 
Samplv Case, 2c. GIVIN BROS., Cadiz, Ohio. 
