IOO 
THE RURAL NEW-YORKER 
February 10, 1900 
Humorous. 
Here and there, along life’s journey, 
Facts arise which gloom appease; 
For the pump can’t help the milkman 
When it comes to making cheese. 
—Chicago Record. 
Algernon; “You say she only partly 
returned your affection?” Clarence: 
“Yes; and that’s what I’m grumbling 
about. She returned all the love letters, 
but retained all the jewelry.”—The Aus¬ 
tralasian. 
“Hand water can be made soft by the 
addition of soda.” said the Professor. 
“Now can soft water be made hard?” 
“Yes, Sir,” replied Thomas F*. Taddells. 
“Indeed? How?” “By freezing it.”— 
Harper’s Bazar. 
“My dear, you should not be so angry 
about my not posting the letter. Let 
your motto be ‘Forgive and forget.’ ” 
“Oh! yes, indeed! You can do the for¬ 
getting, and I can do the forgiving, I 
suppose.”—Illustrated Bits. 
“On, here’s a nasty little black thing 
in my apple pie!” “You are a little silly, 
Baby. That’s a clove, and cook puts it 
in on purpose.” “What for?” "What 
for? Why—er—to—er—to keep the 
moths out, of course!”—Punch. 
Schoolmaster: “Now, if your mother 
gave you a large apple and a small one 
and told you to divide with your 
brother, which apple would you give 
him?” Johnny: “D’you mean my big 
brother or my little orother?”—Credit 
Lost. 
An Embarrassing Situation. —Dibbs 
(facetiously): “This is a picture of my 
wife’s first husband.” Dobbs: “Great 
snakes! What a brainless-looking idiot! 
But I didn’t know your wife was married 
before she met you?” Dibbs: “She 
wasn’t. That is a picture of myself at 
the age of 20.”—Judge. 
“How happy I am,” said the lecturer, 
“in the possession of an order-loving 
wife! If I have to get up in the middle 
of the night, I am sure to find any ar¬ 
ticle of linen, etc., I may happen to want 
in its right place without having to 
strike a light.” At these words the lec¬ 
turer paused and, preparatory to wiping 
the crops of perspiration that studded 
his manly brow, drew from his pocket 
and flourished in the sight of the au¬ 
dience—his wife’s night-cap!—Die Zu- 
kunft. 
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At WHOLESALE PRICKS, Mlwet FKEI 
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Oar Only Inducements are the Best Imported 
TEAS -COFFEES 
AT ONE-HALF PRICE. 
Special terms to Institutions, Clergymen, Farmers and 
large consumers. For full particulars address 
CONSUMERS IMPORTING TEA CO., 
Dept.B. P. O. liox 290, New York, N. Y. 
draught. You will thank us later on for the suggestion if you take 
time now to look into the 
The Best Day’s Work 
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It has made its mark all over the country and thousands of potato growers, 
after long experience with many devices, look upon the Improved-Robbins 
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It will plant from 5 to 7 acres a day. It will drop 100^ of the seed cor¬ 
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soil before the seed is dropped. It covers with discs and marks the next row. 
It is perfect in its mechanism, simple, strong, easily operated, light of 
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photographs taken In the fields. Send your name. 
BATEMAN MFG. CO., Box 502, Grenloch, N.J. 
M9CORMICK MACHINES are built in the largest works in the 
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MCCORMICK holds theworlds record 213.629 machines built and sold last 
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M9C0RMICK MACHINES are so easy to handle 
THAT 
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THE POPULAR MARKET-GARDENER’S TOOLS. 
MATTHEWS 
NEW UNIVERSAL 
Double Wheel- 
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Single Wheel plants 
straight rows at uniform _ «... ..... , 
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POPULAR PRICES TO EARLY PURCHASERS. 
AMES PLOW COMPANY, BOSTON AND NEW YORK. 
\\<L. 
New Uni vernal 
Combination Dri 
The only implement 
made which can be 
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and cultivator 
1 or 2 wheels asi 
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All kinds of labor saving attachments. 
All our implements are guaranteed made of 
best muterlul, finely finished and have tough 
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means of success in hand seed planting and 
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the RUMELYf 
If you are 
thinking about - 
TRACTION ENGINES 
We present “THE HEW RUMELV” which is the cli¬ 
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CHARTER GASOLINE ENGINE 
Any Place 
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For Any Purpose 
Stationories, Portables, 
Engines and Pumps. 
State your Power Needs. 
Charter Gas Engine Co., Box 26, Sterling, III. 
Kill all inseeta,scale, 
blight, fungua. The 
most convenient and 
I effective sprayer* are 
EMPIRE KING and 
GARFIELD KNAPSACK 
I Perfect agitator*. A brush keeps strainer free 
from thick poison. Impoesible to scorch foliage. 
I No rubber or leather valvee to rot. Let os 
I send you handsome book on spraying— Free, 
FIKI,1) FORCE PIMP COMPANY, 
2 Market St., Lockport, Hu ¥• 
CYCLONE 
SEED 
SOWER 
SAVES 
cS Glover 
AND SEED 
>pr . 
...first 10 acres. Tried and true. 
j26 years the Standard. Sent on 
trial. Special offer and circu¬ 
lars free. Address Cha in pi on 
Seeder Co., L’rbuna, Indiana. 
rHE LIGHTNING SEED SOWER 
(^Guaranteed to sow 60 acres per 
day (either horseback or on 
foot) of Clover, Timothy, Mil¬ 
let, Flax, etc. Will be 
•ent to any Post Office $ | O C 
on receipt of. lifcU 
If not satisfactory, money refunded. 
Circulars free. Agents wanted. 
W. J. BUSS, 53 Day St.. Golden, III. 
H ALLOCK’S Success SKc‘ WEEDER and Cultivator 
Pays for Itself the J 
h % 
Youngstown, ' ."O Oy 31 ,1899. 
Season, say Farmers who have Used It. 
Please accept thanks for your kindness. You appear to be the most liberal mar <--5 
ever dealt with. We wish to say that this Is the third year we have used your 
very much pleased with i cy 
potatoes, cabbage, toma* 
ful results. 
We had a good twj 
arers we have 
r, and we are 
used it for corn, 
cc., with wouder- 
<t> e cultivator at the 
time we bought you a/ ccess ” weeder, and 
we state truthfully ^ e have not used the 
cultivator since, as-' small horse and your 
weeder will do more and better work than two 
teams and cultivators. The teams, of course, 
can be used for other work, which means a big 
saviug. Yours truly, J. E. Gray & Son. 
New Castle, Pa. 
I have been going to write you for some time in regard to the weeder. I have had splendid results 
with it this year. Now I will tell you how I used it and what the results were. 
First 1 used it on my wheat In the spring. I could scarcely see any wheat at all, it was so winter- 
killed. My hired man wanted to plow up the ground and sow oats. He said there would not be five 
bushels of wheat on the three acres and I thought so myself, but I said, “We will sow Timothy and 
clover on it,” and so we did and then put the weeder on it, and we put some stones on the weeder so as 
to make it stir up the ground good. Well, 1 had 25 bushels of wheat and a splendid catch of grass. 
Then I put it on my oats. Before I did so my man said to me, “We won’t have no oats this year,” 
did. Well, I never saw oats come on like they did. I had in four acres and 1 harvested 182)<> bushels. 
If everyone would work their weeders In their oats and wheat it would pay them big. So many 
people in this part are very slow in starting their weeders that they do not get half the good out of 
them that they might. They have found out this year from my experience how to work It, and next 
year they are going to start right in time and keep the weeder going. 
You can count on a big weeder trade from this section next year. Yours, — J. R. Wright. 
Are they genuine ? Write them, send postal card for reply. It will give us pleasure to send you hundreds more. 
We want to tell you all about it, may we P 
Money saved by buying- quick. 
D. Y. HALLOCK & SONS, Box 805, York, Pa. 
