1900 
THE RURAL NEW-YORKER 
i97 
Zadoc Tirrell’s Shiftlessiiess. 
“You’re a dreadful shiftless man, 
Zadoc Tirrell, if you are my husband, 
and you’re getting more shiftless every 
day of your life, ’n’ some day I don’t 
know what ’ll happen.” 
Mrs. Tirrell spoke with considerable 
asperity as she halted in the doorway 
and her nervous eyes scanned the dis¬ 
ordered room. Zadoc, in his shirt 
sleeves, sat comfortably reading, sur¬ 
rounded by the pages of a Sunday paper 
dropped in chaos about him. His shoes 
were off. One had been kicked into the 
farthest corner, the other lay on its side 
under a table. A pitcher of sweetened 
water stood on the table at his elbow, 
but the glass from which ae had drunk 
was in an unsteady position on the seat 
of a hair-cloth chair, while on another 
stood a plate of cookies. 
“I just wish you could see yourself!” 
she went on, coming into the room with 
an energetic movement that caused him 
to draw his feet up hastily as she res¬ 
cued the tumbler, placed a sheet of 
paper under the pitcher, and began to 
pick up the papers. “You’re a sight to 
behold, Zadoc Tirrell.” She creased the 
papers precisely, arranged them accord¬ 
ing to order, and placed them in a little 
pile on the table. 
He watched her movements compla¬ 
cently. “I expect I fret you consider¬ 
able, don’t I, Serissa?” he queried. “I’m 
dreadful sorry, but somehow I can’t 
seem to help it. I suppose I’m a pretty 
poor stick of a husband, and I wish I 
was better.” 
The almost childlike smile on his face 
passed unheeded. “You are a dreadful 
trial,” she confessed. “If I wa’n’t so 
fond of you I’d be thinking I’d made a 
pretty poor bargain when I married you, 
Zadoc; but somehow—” Here she 
stopped. 
“I’ll warrant you ’ain’t mended that 
north pasture fence yet,” she concluded. 
“No, I ’ain’t. I’m going to pretty 
soon.” This from behind his paper. 
“ ’N’ the cows will be straying off and 
be put in pound, and you’ll have to pay 
for getting ’em out. It cost you $3 last 
week, and $3 would mend that fence and 
do a lot more things that need being 
done about this house that don’t never 
get done, and don’t never seem likely 
to, ’less I do ’em, and I ’ain’t come to 
that yet.” 
He stirred the sheet uneasily. “I’m 
going to ’tend to it to-morrow morning. 
I really am, and you won’t need to 
bother any more about it. I wish you 
didn’t take things so hard, Serissa.” 
“ ’N’ there’s that sink-drain needed hoe¬ 
ing out for two weeks, and you didn’t 
get round to it. I had to hire Alonzo 
Butler to come and do it, and to tend to 
the front-door latch, and put up the 
swinging shelf for my preserves, and 
carry off that truck I gave you last 
house-cleaning time and you said you’d 
tend to next day. When I think of it I 
get considerable riled. It’s put off and 
put off, and drop things here and shove 
things there, and no system or order nor 
nothing. Most women would get exas¬ 
perated.” 
“You don’t never, do you? You’re a 
pretty patient woman, considering all 
things, Serissa.” He gazed at her re¬ 
flectively. “I guess perhaps I’ll go ’long 
now and do one or two things I ’ain’t 
finished yet. I might as well, I sup¬ 
pose.” 
He arose slowly, dropped the paper, 
and started from the room. His feet 
struck the bare floor of the kitchen. 
“You ’ain’t seen my shoes, have you, 
Serissa? You ’ain’t gathered them up 
in some of your slicking up, have you, 
Serissa? They don’t seem to be any¬ 
where.” 
“When did you have ’em last?” 
“I don’t know. When I came in, I 
suppose. I don’t remember, but I sup¬ 
pose I had ’em. I haven’t been going 
stocking-foot, have I?” He looked at 
her perplexed. Then he glanced at his 
feet. “Those stockings don’t look ’s if 
I’d been out-doors without any shoes. 
I must have had ’em somewheres, Se¬ 
rissa.” 
“Where do you generally put ’em?” 
“ ’Most any place. Just where I hap¬ 
pen to be, I guess. It ’ain’t very sys¬ 
tematic, I know, but I’ve got kind of 
into the habit of it.” 
“You were in here, wa’n’t you?” 
“Yes.” 
“Well, you ’ain’t looked here, have 
you?” 
“Why, no! I didn’t think. Somehow 
it didn’t seem to me I’d ’a’ left them in 
the setting-room. I don’t generally, do 
I, Serissa? I don’t mean to, I’m sure.” 
The perplexed look on his face broad- 
ened into a smile as he espied one shoe 
and groped for it under the chair. 
He gazed about helplessly for its 
mate. “The other isn’t here.” 
“Have you looked everywhere?” 
“Yes.” 
“What’s that in the corner?” 
“It appears to be my other shoe. I 
should really say that it was. Did I put 
it there?” 
“I suppose you did. ’Twas there when 
I came in.” 
He opened the door slowly and turned, 
one hand on the door-knob. Serissa 
was putting the last of the wood into 
the fire. 
“I’ll fill that wood-box right off now,” 
he said, cheerfully, “and, I say, I wish 
you’d kiss me just once, Serissa, even if 
I am shiftless.” 
***** 
Zadoc was dead. The house was quiet 
and in perfect order. Never had it been 
so, even at festive occasions such as 
Thanksgiving, for Zadoc had always 
been present. 
The funeral was over and the relatives 
departed. Serissa was alone. She tried 
to drink some tea. It would cheer her 
up and steady her nerves. She was try¬ 
ing to be resigned—everyone had told 
her she must be—but somehow she did 
miss Zadoc dreadfully. 
“I believe—I believe I’d even like to 
see some of his clutter,” she said 
mournfully, as ner eyes took in the 
primness of the room in its perfect 
order. It looks dreadful cold and 
funeral-like this way. Just ’s if some¬ 
one was dead, and ’twould always stay 
just so and never look lived-in again. 
I can’t stand it, anyway.” 
She jumped from her chair, and seiz¬ 
ing the neat pile of papers on the table, 
with a wild toss of her arms sent them 
broadcast through the room. They 
fell with a rustle that sent a thrill of 
gladness through Serissa’s sore heart. 
“That crackle does sound kind of 
comforting and natural,” she mused. 
“But things ’ain’t all right yet.” She 
twisted the chairs around in all sorts of 
positions, put the head-rest on the big 
arm-chair askew, and pushed the tidies 
off the sofa. 
Suddenly she paused. There was a 
sound, a footstep. Some one of the 
neighbors was coming. But how it 
sounded like Zadoc’s step! It was un¬ 
mistakable. 
It was Zadoc. She awoke from her 
dream with a start. 
* * * * . * 
“I guess you’re right about my being 
shiftless,” he said. "I had ought to have 
fixed that fence before, Serissa. I really 
ought. The cows got out again, and one 
of ’em I can’t find anywhere. I staid 
long enough to mend things so 
^wouldn’t happen again, ’n’ I harnessed 
up and thought perhaps you’d like to 
drive down with me and see if we can’t 
find her. It’s going to be a dreadful 
pretty evening. Why, Serissa!” 
She was crying on his shoulder. “You 
don’t never need to call yourself shift¬ 
less again,” she sobbed. “I don’t care 
how you do things. I don’t care one 
mite. I guess there’s things worse ’n 
being shiftless, and—and it’s you 
Zadoc.”—Harper’s Bazar. 
MOTHERS.—Be sure to use “Mrs. Wins¬ 
low’s Soothing Syrup” for your children 
While Teething. It la the Beat— Adv. 
When March winds blow it is no un¬ 
usual thing for the children to develop 
severe earache, one of the most painful 
of minor ailments. Two excellent and 
almost instantaneous remedies for this 
trouble are ether and oil of mullein. 
Ether is inexpensive, and tnere is prac¬ 
tically no danger in using it, as the pa¬ 
tient cannot be overcome by it unless 
air is excluded from the lungs. To ad¬ 
minister it for earache, a little cotton 
batting is placed in the bowl of a clean 
tobacco pipe, and one or two drops of 
ether put upon the cotton. The stem of 
the pipe is put at the orifice of the 
patient’s ear, and the operator blows 
through the bowl, thus sending the 
fumes of the ether into the ear. The 
volatile ether practically refrigerates 
the congested membranes and, as its 
action passes off, the acute pain is re¬ 
lieved as though by magic. The mul¬ 
lein oil has exactly the opposite action, 
it gives the sensation of warmth, and 
gives immediate relief. One or two drops 
of oil are dropped into the ear. and 
the outer ear closed with cotton. This 
oil is obtained from mullein flowers; it 
is not very well known, and compara¬ 
tively expensive. 
Both Cold and Heat, 
in refrigerating rooms and ovens, are 
used in testing 
ELGIN 
Ruby Jeweled Watches, 
and they are required to stand both 
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The Elgin. Ask yours why it is the 
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An Elgin watch always has the word"Elgin” 
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Our new booklet, “The Ways of a 
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ELGIN NATIONAL WATCH CO., Elgin, HI. 
Find * 
Your Level. 
Are you wasting your time in a 
lowly position when you should 
occupy a higher one? If you are tied 
to uncongenial work you can lit your* 
f self for a better position without logs ol 
| present salary. 
Change Your Occupation. 
Thorough courses in Mccliniilcnl or J 
Architectural Draught lug, 
Electrical, Mechunlcal,8tcuiit 
or Civil Engineering, etc., 
by mall. Write lor circular. 
The International 
Correspondence Schools, 
Box 123ft, Scrunton, 
Pa* 
l.V* 
Old Dresses Made New. 
EASY WAY TO HAVE GOOD CLOTHES 
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Home Dyeing a Pleasure with 
Diamond Dyes. 
There’s no easier way to save expense than to 
dye over your dresses, wraps, ribbons, etc., with 
Diamond Dyes. A package costs but 10 cents, 
yet it will often save the expense of a new dress 
or jacket. 
It’s easy work to use Diamond Dyes. They are 
prepared specially for home dyeing, and will dye 
more goods for the same money than any other 
dyes. 
Never use dyes that claim to color all kinds of 
material with the same dye. Diamond Dyes can 
be depended upon to make colors that will not 
fade or crock. 
13?” Sample card of colors and direction book for 
home dyeing mailed free on request.— Wei.ls, Rich¬ 
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I $2.75 Buys a reedbooy Baby Carriage 
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'\X7"OULD you rather buy 
* * lamp-chimneys, one a 
week the year round, or one 
that lasts till some accident 
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Tough glass, Macbeth’s 
“pearl top” or “pearl glass,” 
almost never break from heat, 
not one in a hundred. 
Where can you get it? and what 
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Your dealer knows where and how 
much. It costs more than common 
glass ; and may be, he thinks tough 
glass isn’t good for his business. 
Our “Index” describes all lamps and their 
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We mail it FREE to any one who writes for it. 
Address Macbeth, Pittsburgh. Pa. 
B. te B. 
100 pieces genuine imported 
Madras ginghams 
20c.yard 
500 pieces fine imported Madras 
ginghams—shirt waist and shirt¬ 
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made, 5. c 
Collection of new American 
ginghams, ioc., 15c , and pretty 
new American Percales 12 %c., 
that not only shows what nice 
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but the store that makes a feature 
of pretty wash goods for little 
morfey. 
If you’re going to have some 
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Lot of 36-inch coverts—splen¬ 
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brown, tan or green mix—sightly 
goods. 
Large lot of 36-inch all-wool 
Dress goods — medium colored 
mixtures—20c.—that couldn’t be 
made of present price wool for 
twice the money. Get samples. 
BOGGS & BUHL, 
Department Q, 
ALLEGHENY, PA. 
The Value 
Of Reputation. 
A reputation based on half a century’s 
experience, dealing directly with the 
women of the family all over the world, 
is unique, and stimulates a worthy pride. 
The Singer Manufacturing Company 
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Sold on Instalments. 
Old machines taken in exchange. 
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“ Sewing-Machine Makers for the World.” 
Send for Free Trial Sample. 
Ingram’s Pile Cure in tubes, to be squeezed through 
syringe-shaped end. Painless. Instant relief Per¬ 
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mail or at drug stores. Sample for stamp. 
F. F. INGRAM & CO., 73 Tenth St., Detroit, Mich. 
,1900 BICYCLE FREE 
It or distributing 1000 catalogues for us. On. 
7 Agent wantedineachtown. Give references 
,, and send for catalogues. Enclose stam d. 
• MEAD CYCLE CO. Dept. 2931, Chicago 
Thrice-a-Week World 
Gives you all the news of the whole world 
every other day. It’s the next best thing to a 
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Thi Rural New-Yorkxb, one year, for 11.66 
