1900 
THE RURAL NEW-YORKER: 
321 
Short Stories. 
Ballad of Benjamin Brann. 
Oh, a positive man-a positive man, 
So the people discovered, was Benjamin 
Brann. 
With, his household and neighbors and 
children and boss. 
Old Brann he allowed he would always be 
boss. 
And most of the people they’d ruther kow¬ 
tow 
To his notions than live in the midst of a 
row. 
And whenever you’d see in a faint-hearted 
crowd 
A man who was hollerin’ 'specially loud, 
You could calculate suttin that positive 
man 
Was the uncontradicted old Benjamin 
Brann. 
For after a while all the folks stood in awe 
Of the roar of his voice and the build of 
his jaw; 
He was lookin’ for trouble and carried a 
chip 
And a chance for a tussle he never let slip; 
He hated to think that the world could 
still go 
When he stood to one side and kept hol¬ 
lerin’ “Whoa!” 
One day he was teamin’ his oxen to town; 
He set on the cart tongue, his feet hang- 
in' down. 
And bein’ a positive kind of a chap 
—Pokin’ out o’ his way for the sake of a 
scrap— 
Whenever he noticed a boulder or stump 
He’d gee, and ride over the critter ker- 
bump! 
But it happened one boulder that he came 
across 
Gave Benjamin’s ox-cart too lively a toss; 
He was under the broad-tired wheels, s’r, 
before 
He’d gathered his voice for his usual roar, 
But just as the ox-cart rolled over him— 
oh. 
You’d a-fallen down stunned at the way 
he yelled “Whoa!” 
’Twas so loud and so long, s’r, that Brin- 
dle and Haw, 
Who bowed to that voice as their Gospel 
and Law, 
Were so eager to stop that they backed, 
s’r, and then 
The wheel it rolled over the old man again. 
A Sailor Rat. —Last year we related 
a few fish stories just as they came to 
us from readers. Here is another “tale 
of the sea” taken from the London 
Field: 
A rat was caught alive on board a Brit¬ 
ish naval vessel in a trap, and the beast 
was thrown from the trap into the water 
without being killed. A large gull that 
was following in the wake of the ship to 
pick up scraps of food thrown overboard 
by the steward swooped down several 
times, endeavoring to pick up the rat. 
Once the bird got too close to the rat’s 
jaws, and the beast grabbed it by the neck. 
After a short fight the rat succeeded in 
killing the bird. When the gull was dead 
the rat scrambled upon the bird’s body, 
and, hoisting one wing as a sail and using 
the other as a rudder, succeeded in steer¬ 
ing for the shore. 
Those who “go down to the sea in 
ships” are apt to become large in 
thought and story. 
Business Prohibition. —The chief of 
the Weather Bureau at Washington re¬ 
cently issued a strict order prohibiting 
cigarette smoking. He said: 
I am thoroughly satisfied that cigarette 
smoking does not tend toward beneficial 
results. Some of our men, who are re¬ 
garded as the most thorough and com¬ 
petent, doing every detail of their work 
with the utmost promptness and accuracy, 
gradually became careless and lax. I sent 
inspectors to investigate and in a number 
of cases it was found directly attributable 
to the use of cigarettes. In a word, these 
investigations by inspectors convinced me 
that a cigarette smoker is not a fit man 
to be trusted with important work of the 
Bureau. 
Most business men will, we think, 
agree that the constant use of cigarettes 
is a positive injury to young men. What 
seems to us strange is the fact that hun¬ 
dreds of men believe thoroughly in pro¬ 
hibition so far as it affects their own 
business, yet they will curse and de¬ 
nounce those who seek to extend the 
plan which their own practice proves 
correct. 
Little Things.— The following story 
swallowed, and he carried this mass of 
junk for a week, until he gave up. The 
human stomach can stand much, but it 
gives up at last. The Connecticut Ex¬ 
periment Station has been analyzing the 
syrups used with soda water. 
Out of 192 samples of soda-water syrups 
examined from local fountains 56 con¬ 
tained glucose, salicylic acid, coal-tar dyes 
and artificial flavors made from chemi¬ 
cals instead of fruit. Drinking these pois¬ 
onous syrups produces diarrhea and indi¬ 
gestion. In a single glass of soda water 
the chemists found enough red Bordeaux 
dye to dye a six-inch square of woolen 
cloth a most brilliant color. 
The metal may do more rapid work as 
a stomach destroyer, but the soda-water 
syrup only requires time. 
Arkansas Seedling Apples.— F r u i t 
growers have been very much interested in 
the remarkable seedling apples that have 
been produced in Arkansas. Prof. J. T. 
Stinson, of the State Experiment Station 
at Fayetteville, has spent much time in 
classifying and describing these varieties. 
In Bulletin 60 of that Station he gives a 
second report. All apple growers will want 
to read this report. 
Write to Us at Once! 
State what you can use of the following 
that we have in surplus at low prices: 
Varieties. 
15,000 Peach Trees, first-class. 15 
5,000 Japan Plum Trees, first-class, 10 
5,000 Pear Trees, first-class. 15 
15,000 Currants, 2-year old. 8 
200,000 Layer Strawberry Plants. 15 
50,000 Pot-Grown Strawberry Plants, 15 
50.0C0 Asparagus Plants, 1-year. 3 
5,000 Rhubarb Plants, 1-year. 2 
T. J. DWYER <& SON, 
Orange County Nurseries, 
Box 1, Cornwall, N. Y. 
New Vineland Bush 
Sweet Potato Plants 
Grown by the originator. By mail, post¬ 
paid, 50 for 75c.; 100 for $1.25. By express, 
$1 per 100; $6 per 1,000. 500 furnished at 
1,000 rates. Order now. 
** A Little Spark May 
Make Much Work/' 
The tittle " sparks" of bad blood larking 
in the system should be quenched nvith 
Hood's Sarsaparilla, America's great blood 
purifier. It purifies, vitalizes and enriches 
the blood of both sexes and all ages. Cures 
scrofula, salt rheum, dyspepsia, catarrh. 
Never Disappoin ts 
Send 25 cents to R. F. Colwell, Bar¬ 
rington, R. I., for sample of new sweet corn, the 
•‘Honey Prolific,” the sweetest and best in the world 
FOR SALE 
—1,000 Bushels Crimson Clover 
Seed; 1,000 Bushels Cow Peas. 
JOSEPH E. HOLLAND, Milford, Del. 
'T'RKKS—Fine stock of fruit and ornamental; also 
vines, shrubs, roses, rhododendrons, etc. Parties 
wishing tj set largely of peach, special prices given 
Price list free. COMSTOCK & LYON, Norwalk, Ct. 
ni may and SULTAN. Burbank’s latest and 
IlLlmAA best Japan plums. Dormant buds. 
Cat ROCKLAND CO. NURSERIES, Blauvelt, N. Y 
New York, Gladstone and Sample, 
Also the best old varieties of Strawberry PlantsJ 
Send for Catalogue. S. H. WARREN, Weston, Mass, 
FOR SALE OH EAR. 
Kansas and Nemaha Blackcaps; Loudon, Miller 
and Marlboro Raspberry; Erie, Eldorado and Mlnni- 
waski Blackberry. Best varieties Strawberries and 
Seed Potatoes. WALTER F. TABER, 
‘•Lakeview Farm,” Poughkeepsie, N. Y 
nr* nil TREES $15 per 1000. Other Stock. 
ILnUll CHEAP. J. TWOMEY, Geneva, N. Y. 
TREES 
at Wholesale prices. Apple, Plum and 
Pears, 10 per 100; Peach, 3c. Cat. Free 
Reliance Nursery, Box 10, Geneva, N. Y 
10 
Peach Trees 
10 Apple, Plum or Pear 
80c.; 10 Dwarf Pear 60c.; 
10 Quince 75c.; 10 Grape, 
Gooseberry or Currant 
50c. Write Quickly. C. NURSERY AND ORCHARD 
CO., Charleston. W. Va. 
50c. 
There’s a moral to this, as you notice, no 
doubt. 
But I haven’t the patience to ravel it out. 
I’ll say to reformers and dogmatists, 
though, 
It’s safest to holler a moderate “Whoa!” 
—Lewiston (Me.) Journal. 
Our National Job. —The National 
Provisioner bas this bit of wisdom: — 
The wag "who said: “England must 
clothe the world; America must feed and 
lead the world; Germany must toy and 
amuse the world; France must wine and 
dine the world; Italy must carve and paint 
the world and the rest of the nations must 
furnish the diverts and the deserts,” was 
not as far wrong as are wiser heads on 
smaller subjects. 
Yankees have always had a way of not 
doing the things 'that were marked out 
for them. We can feed the world, and 
we can do some of the other things, too. 
Strength in Vegetables. —A man in 
New York, J. P. Thomas, Jr., claims to 
have eaten nothing for six years but un¬ 
cooked vegetables. Here is the story: 
Vegetables, he claims, are more whole¬ 
some, more healthful, more nourishing and 
contribute more to the strength and vigor 
of the human system than cooked vege¬ 
tables or animal food. All energy, Mr. 
Thomas asserts, comes from the sun. 
Plants absorb the sunshine and hold the 
energy in their fibers, like coal, timber 
and minerals. Men and animals derive 
their energy from plant food because they 
cannot eat trees or coal. Cooking causes 
chemical decomposition, deprives vege¬ 
tables of a part of the energy which they 
have inherited from the sun, and hence 
they are less beneficial to mankind than 
when eaten raw. Mr. Thomas, his wife 
and his child one year old, subsist almost 
exclusively on raw wheat and other cere¬ 
als, raw potatoes, cabbage, turnips and all 
other varieties of vegetables and fruits. 
As a consequence they are never ill, they 
are not susceptible to cold, they wear their 
garments without underclothing, overcoats 
or wraps the year round. Mr. Thomas 
claims to have the strength of four men, 
and can lift 1,450 pounds. 
On “The Lord’s Farm,” a religious 
community or family near Hope Farm, 
are a dozen or so people who never eat 
animal food in any form, though their 
grains and vegetables are cooked. They 
are strong and rugged, rarely sick, and 
capable of bard and prolonged labor. 
from the New England Grocer may 
touen some men who think a farmer’s 
orchard or apple barrel is public prop¬ 
erty: 
A man recently entered a store where 
he had been buying his morning paper for 
a number of years. The proprietor, be¬ 
sides selling papers and books, has a candy 
and peanut counter. “Good morning, Mr. 
B—.” 
“Good morning, Mr. L—.” 
The paper was handed him and he was 
about to depart, when the proprietor re¬ 
marked: 
“By the way, Mr. L—, I have a little bill 
against you.” 
“A bill against me? That must be a 
mistake.” 
“I think not.’ 
“Let me see it.” 
The bill was handed him. “For peanuts, 
$2.20,” it read. 
"How is this?” blustered the man. 
“Well, sir, every morning for the last 
four years you have taken two peanuts 
when you left the store. That would be 
12 peanuts a week, not counting in Sun¬ 
day, when your paper is delivered at your 
house, 624 peanuts in a year and 2,496 pea¬ 
nuts in four years. I have figured there 
are 57 peanuts in a pint; 57 into 2,496 goes 
about 44 times. Multiplying by five cents, 
the price of peanuts per pint, and we have 
$ 2 . 20 .” 
It is reported that the man paid the 
bill at once! 
A Magic Stomach. —According to the 
papers a young man in Baltimore had 
the following articles removed at one 
time from his stomach: 
One pocket knife; two screw eyes; one 
small staple; 25 grains of ground glass; 11 
pins; 49 tacks; 72 nails, iron and wire, 
measuring from one to one and one-half 
inch in length; 19 wire-nails, four inches 
long, with large heads; seven knife blades 
—one about three-quarters of an inch wide; 
nine horseshoe nails, four inches long; 
eight screws, two and one-half inches long; 
four brass watch chains, with catches and 
stays; 12M> feet of three-eighths inch iron 
chain. 
This man was an amateur “magician.” 
He caused various objects to disappear 
by deftly slipping them into his cloth¬ 
ing. He was challenged to perform his 
tricks while stripped of clothing, and 
foolishly tried it by slipping the articles 
named above into his mouth. They were 
JOHNSON & STOKES, Philadelphia, Pa. 
F UKTHERREBUCTION in price of peach trees 
No. 1, U4cts.; 3 to 4 ft. l!4cts. ; 2 to 3 ft. le.: 
each. All 1 yr. from bud. All leading varieties. Kept 
dormant and in good shipping condition till June 1st. 
Circular free. R. S. Johnston, Box 4, Stockley, Del 
EVERGREENS 
Largest stock In Amer¬ 
ica, including 
Colorado Blue Spruce 
and Douglas Spruce 
of Colorado. 
Also, Ornamental, 
Shade and Forest Trees, 
Tree Seeds. Etc. 
R. DOUGLAS’ SONS 
Waukegan, 111 
Our Illustrated Catalogue tor 1900 
Explains what may he accomplished by using 
well-grown trees and plants. Mailed free. 
W M. PETERS’ SONS, Wesley, Md. 
TREES 
BEST by Test- 
74 YEARS. Larg¬ 
est Nursery. Fruit Book free. We 
CASH WEEKLY & want MORE 
home & traveling salesmen 
STARK BRO’S, LOUISIANA, MO.; Dansville.N.Y. 
Trees. Trees. Trees. 
Every tree a pedigree tree, every tree bears loads of 
highest quality of fruit when properly cared for. 
Our orchards prove it. We have the Pedigree York 
Imperials of the country. All fruits. Carloads of Peach 
and low price. 33 years’ experience. Name size, num¬ 
ber wanted and variety. 
Woodvlew Nurseries, Box 100, Uriah, Pa. 
Trees. Plants. 
We have all kinds of Nursery Stock. 
Catalogue Free. 
JOS. H. BLACK, SON & CO., 
HIGHTSTOWN, N. J. 
For $i I will send by express or freight, i Alpha, i Paragon, 
i Numbo Chestnut Tree grafted, worth $2.20. Full line of 
c r __ _ ARTHUR J. COLLINS, 
IN Ursery otOCK. v^ertincate. Moorestown, Burlington County, N. J. 
Business Apples 
A fine selection for business and for 
profit: York Imperial, Sutton, Grimes, 
Jonathan, Rome Beauty, Arkansaw or 
M. B. Twig, Baldwin, Greening, Hubbard- 
ston and others. Also, Kieffer, Bartlett and other business pears. No finer assortment fruit trees 
for business; no better values anywhere. Those who know us best trust us most, and you will find 
it safe in every way to place your orders with 
The Rogers Nurseries, Tree Breeders, Dansville, N. Y. 
Poultry-House Roofing 
must be cheap, durable and entirely 
airtight and waterproof. 
P & B Ruberoid Roofing 
is what you want. Invaluable for siding and for 
keeping floors dry and warm. 
Write ns for samples and prices. 
THE STANDARD PAINT COMPANY, 
Sole Manufacturers, 
Nos. 81 and 83 John Street, New York. 
