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THE RURAL NEW-YORKER. 
September 8, 1900 
Humorous. 
The animals down at the zoo, 
They didn’t know just what to do. 
Said the tiger: “Methinks 
That a golf game, by jinks, 
Is really the thing.” 
Then they laid out the lynx! 
—Indianapolis Sun. 
“Why do they number convicts?” "Be¬ 
cause they have lost their good names.” 
—Metropolitan Magazine. 
"My father was just itching for an of¬ 
fice.” "Did he get over it?” "Yes. They 
scratched him at the polls.”—Credit 
Lost. 
Smart Lawyer: "You say the even¬ 
ing wore on. What did it wear on that 
particular occasion?” Witness: "The 
close of day, I presume.”—Tit-Bits. 
“Is there a tan yard around here any¬ 
where, my boy?” asked the stranger. 
“Naw,” replied the boy; "Dad always 
licks us in the woodshed.”—Credit Lost. 
“What’s the difference between 
knowledge and wisdom?” “Well, it 
takes knowledge to build an automobile, 
but it takes wisdom to run it.”—Chicago 
Record. 
Miss Jones: “It must be awfully un¬ 
comfortable to walk around the deck of 
a sailboat.” Captain Smith: “Why?” 
Miss Jones: "On account of the tacks.”— 
The King. 
"It is never too late to mend,” quoted 
the school-teacher to the hard man from 
the foundry. "How about a biler when 
she’s busted?” remarked the latter.— 
Star of Hope. 
Clerk (to new employer): "What 
shall I mark that new lot of black silk?” 
Employer: "Mark the selling price at 
$3 a yard.” Clerk: "But it only cost 
$1 a yard.” Employer: "I don’t care 
what it cost. I am selling off regardless 
of cost.”—Columbus Journal. 
“Dm my uncle die a natural death?” 
inquired the man from the East who had 
come to look after the property. “Not 
exactly,” replied the bilious-looking 
man, steadying himself as another fit of 
the ague took him. “He died a most on- 
natural death, sir, fur this locality. He 
died of old age.”—Chicago Tribune. 
“Hiram Hanks,” said the farmer, 
“has got a gover’ment cynosure.” I 
suppose, Pa,” said his daughter, just 
from high school, “you mean a sinecure. 
A cynosure is — a — a — something 
that all eyes are fixed upon.” "Well,” 
said the father, “that’s the way it was 
with Hiram’s job before he got it.”— 
Puck. 
“How does the octopus manage to 
keep us so poor and downtrodden?” 
asked the man who had strayed into the 
rural store to do a little campaign work. 
“Well,” answered Farmer Corntossel. 
“I have my suspicions that one way is 
by gettin’ us interested an’ wastin’ our 
time abusin’ the critter instid o’ tendin’ 
to our reg’lar work.”—Washington Star. 
BUY DIRECT FROM FACTORY, BEST 
MIXED PAINTS 
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For Houses, B*rns, Roofs, all colors, and ^AVE Dealers 
profits. In use 5 8 yearn. Officially Endorsed by the 
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TO ALL PURCHASERS. Agents make 25 Per 
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SEND FOR NEW TERMS. 
THE GREAT AMERICAN TEA CO., 
P. O. Box 200, Dept. R. 31-33 Vesey St., New York. 
ON’T DIG Potatoes b y Hand. 
It is a slow and expensive 
way. The cheapest, quick 
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WALTHAM WATCHES 
Before 1854 there were no 
Waltham Watches nor any 
American Watches. To-day the 
tradition that one must go abroad for 
a good watch has been exploded 
by the American Waltham Watch 
Company. 
" The Perfected American Watch ", an illustrated book 
of interesting information about watches, will be sent 
free upon request . 
American Waltham Watch Company , 
Waltham, Mass . 
CHEAPER WELLS. 
Drilled wells are cheaper and far superior 
*■ dug wells. They do not go dry; they con¬ 
tain pure water. 
!» [ QT A D DRILLING 
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_ _-Send for our catalogue. It’s Free. 
STAR DRILLING MACHINE CO. Akron, Ohio. 
The New I 
SMALLEY 
Cutter 
SUCCESS is assured if you UBe 
New Smalley Cutters with semi 
circle carriers for cutting and 
elevating ensilage. They have 
automatic self feed, also 
Corn Shredding and Corn /funking 
attachments when desired. 
Mounted on 4 wheel trucks for 
easy moving A strictly “ up-to- 
date” machine. 1900 booklets 
mailed free. “ Yankee Silo 
&cn*c and ’*Farming on ftusinetw 
Principle Ask for special in¬ 
troduction prices on Smal¬ 
ley and “Rattle Creek” 
Wood Saws, Gkindino Mills, 
Lah Corn C r u b h k « s; also 
Swkep Tread and Steam 
Powers, stating goods you wish 
to purchase and naming paper in 
which you saw thin advertise¬ 
ment. 
THE SPANGLER 
LOW-DOWN 
Grain and Fertilizer Drill. 
Best on earth. Absolutely Positive Force-Feed. 
Light Draft. Fully warranted. Write us for Drill 
Book and Prices. We will make It pay you. 
. SPANGLER MFG. CO., York, Pa. 
V® 
Tt 
3* Six 
Sizes: 
Nos, 12. 14, 
16. 18. 20, 
and 26. 
TORNADO 
Un¬ 
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for Ensl- 
1 age or 
Dry Fod¬ 
der Shredding. 
Cuts Hay and Straw without change in attachments, 
saving cost of exiru cutting head. Sample of 
its work and catalogue furnished free. Traveling 
Feed Tables, with larger sizes when wanted. 
\V. R. HARRISON & CO., Massillon, O. 
SEPARATORS and POWERS 
for 1, 2 and 3 horiea, with governor; Uvel 
or even tread. Catalogue free. 
Sweep Power*, Corn Shelter*, „ _ 
Rakes, Cultivators, Saws, Engines—3 to 2d H. P., mounted©*- 
*tationary. The Mcaelngrcr Mf*. Co., Tatamy, P# 
PEEBNER’S 
Patent 
Level Tread 
with Speed Regulator. 
For 1, a and 3 horses. 
Horse Power 
LITTLE CIANT Threshing Machine 
Threshes grain, rice, flax, millet and grass seed. Fully 
warranted. Feed and Ensilage Cutters, Feed GrinderH. 
UftDCC DfllAfCDC thrashers 
nilnOt rUVVCItOy im cleaners 
On* & two-horse Thrashing Outfits. Level PUTTCRO 
Tread, Pat.Governor, Feed and Ensilage OU I I Lflo 
ELLIS KEYSTONE A6R’L WORKS, Pottstown, Pa 
F. L. MAINE, General Agent, Wlllet. N. Y 
Machines for Threshing and Cleaning Grain. 
Also machines for SAWING WOOD, 
with circular and cross-cut drag saws. 
Acknowledged tl- DECT regarding easy 
by all to be I no DCOI draft,durabil¬ 
ity and quantity of work. 60 page pamphlet free. 
a. w. Cray’s soNs, p * H r^:: d 
P. O. Box 80 Middletown Springs, Vt. 
CONTENTS. 
The Rural New-Yorker, Sept. 8, 1900. 
FARM TOPICS. 
The Farmer and a License.606 
Baling Corn Fodder Shocks .607 
"Planting in the Moon.”.608 
An Easy Way to Kill Stumps.608 
Bone Ash for Fertilizer.609 
Ashes for Acetylene Gas.609 
Corn for Northern New England.609 
Hope Farm Notes .611 
LIVE STOCK AND DAIRY. 
The Milk Producers’ Meeting.616 
The Country’s Milk Trade.617 
Early Care of the Bull.618 
Milk Strippings for Consumption.61f. 
The Bull on the Tread Power.619 
Notes on Permanent Pastures.619 
Oily Butter; Cause and Cure.619 
HORTICULTURE. 
Possible Profit In Pears.605 
The Everbearing Peach .606 
An Insect that Saws Wood.606 
Planting a Fruit Orchard, Part II.606 
Japan Fruits in Texas.607 
Clearing Timber Land for Fruit.608 
Insects on Gladiolus and Heliotrope.608 
Why Muskmelons Crack.609 
Discouraged Apple Trees .609 
Notes from the Rural Grounds.610 
Notes from Dale View.,...610 
Prize Apples at Paris.616 
WOMAN AND HOME. 
From Day to Day.614 
What Shall We Wear. 614 
A Color Problem .615 
Pioneer Experiences.615 
Rural Recipes .615 
MISCELLANEOUS. 
Heavy Carriage Tires.606 
An Old Man’s View of Life.609 
Editorials .612 
Events of the Week.613 
New York State Fair .613 
Markets .616 
Business Bits .616 
Market Briefs ..’-617 
Humorous .. 620 
