48 
THE RURAL NEW-YORKER 
January 18, 1902 
HUMOROUS 
There was a young man named Ignatius, 
Who lived in an attic quite spacious. 
When he tore his apparel, 
He’d sit in a barrel 
Until he could mend ’em—My gracious! 
—Indianapolis News. 
“What is the first thing to do in 
learning to run an automobile?” “Say 
your prayers.”—Puck. 
Patron: “Give me some ground 
hog.” Waiter: “What d’yer mean?” 
Patron: “Sausage.”—Judge. 
“I am surprised that Gayboy didn’t 
pay you. I thought the fellow had good 
points.” “So have pins—yet they’ll 
stick you!”—Judge. 
“De trusts,” said Uncle Eph’m, “is 
jes’ like musharoons. Hit takes a ex¬ 
pert to tell which is de wholesome an’ 
which is de pizen.”— -Chicago Tribune. 
McJigoer: “Smithers looks bad. 
What’s the matter with him?” Thing¬ 
umbob: “Run down.” McJigger: “Over¬ 
work?” Thingumbob: “No, under au¬ 
to.”—Philadelphia rress. 
"Have I got the ‘pleasing expression’ 
that you want?” asked Mr. Billus. “Yes, 
sir,” replied the photographer, "I think 
that will do very well.” “Then hurry 
up, please. It hurts my face.”—Credit 
Lost. 
Mrs. Tiff: “You may sneer at us wo¬ 
men as much as you please—call us 
hypocrites, if you will—but at any rate 
we never use religion as a cloaK.” Mr. 
Tiff: “Of course not. Religion isn’t 
fashionable enough. —Credit Lost. 
“See here!” exclaimed the city edi¬ 
tor. “You speak of the bride as being 
‘led to the altar.’” “Yes, sir; well?” 
replied the new reporter. “Well, that’s 
nonsense. There never was a bride who 
couldn’t find her way there regardless 
of obstacles.”—'Catholic Standard and 
Times. 
“John, when you came home last night 
you talked and acted very queerly. You 
were lifting up your feet and endeavor¬ 
ing to step over imaginary obstacles." 
“Oh! Yes, my dear. All the evening 1 
felt as if I were walking on clouds. You 
remember we had angel cake for sup¬ 
per.”—Yonkers Statesman. 
Curate (highly delighted): “I’ve had 
a great compliment paid me to-day, sir. 
A member of the congregation asked to 
be allowed to see the manuscript of my 
sermon.” Vicar: “That’s very gratify¬ 
ing. Who was it?” Curate (more 
pleased): “Oh, Johnson. Y r ou know 
Johnson, the Inspector of -Nuisances?” 
—Glasgow Evening Times. 
■ ,s ':i write advertisers mention The 
it. J- tf. and you will get a quick reply and 
••a square deal.’’ See our guarantee sth page. 
buy direct from factory, best 
MIXED PAINTS 
At WHOLES A I>E PRICES, Delivered FRBE 
For Houses, Barns, Roofs, all colors, and SA VE Dealers 
profits. In use .5 8 years. Officially Endorsed by the 
Orange. Low prices will surprise you. Write for Samples. 
0. W. 1NGERS0LL, 846 Plymouth St., Brooklyn, N. Y. 
BEST and MOST QQp 
ECONOMICAL. UUlli 
1-lb. trade-mark red bags. 
Good Coffees 12c. and 15c 
Good Teas 30c. and 35c 
Cook Book Free 
to customers.bound in cloth, 
325 pp., 2,500 receipts. 
The Great American Tea Co., 
31 &33 Vesey St., New York. 
P. O Box 289. 
With an Appleton Steel Frame 
Wood Saw You Can Rapidly 
and with Ease and Safety 
SAW 
your own wood; save 
time and labor, or saw 
your neighbors’ wood 
and make 
$5 tO $ I 5 DAY. 
Combination sliding 
and tilting table: 
strong, durable, rigid 
frame; adjustable dust proof oil boxes, etc. We make 
three other styles. Also the famous “Hero” Fric¬ 
tion Feed It rug Bn w, the best made. We make 
Feed Grinders. Fodder Cutters, Huskers, Shellers, 
Sweep Horse Powers, Tread Horse Powers, Wind¬ 
mills. etc. Catalogue Free. Appleton quality is the 
best and is made only by the 
Appleton Manufacturing Co , 27 Fargo St,, Batavia. Ills. 
YOU WILL LOOK IN VAIN 
for an all-around handy garden tool that will even begin to com¬ 
pare with the “Planet Jr.” No. 25 Hill and Drill Seeder and 
Double Wheel Hoe Cultivator and Plow; made especially for the 
man who has a good sized garden, and yet who does not want to 
buy a separate Wheel Hoe. As a drill it compares with our well known “Planet Jr.” No. 4. 
As a wheel Hoe it will do all the work of our “Planet Jr.” No. 12. Has 11 54 in. wheels; cul¬ 
tivates between rows, hills up, plows, marks out,etc.; can be easily and quickly changed from 
one to the other. In fact, is a wonderful labor-saver. We are ready to absolutely guarantee 
this tool any time. Other “Planet Jr.” tools are Seed Drills, Wheel Hoes. Horse Hoes, Cul¬ 
tivators, Harrows, Two-horse Cultivators, Sugar Beet Seeders and Cultivators, etc. All of 
these are fully described in our new catalogue for 1902. We issue hundreds of thousands of 
these books, each an art album of interesting views. They are going fast. Write for one now. 
They are free. s. L. ALLEN & CO., Box n 07V PHILADELPHIA, PA. 
Two Gold Medals at Paris Exposition; Highest Award. 
MAPLE EVAPORATORS 
* Most Durable, Most Economical, Cheapest. 
Syrup Cans and .Sap Falls. 
McLANE-SCHANCK HDW. CO., Linesvil/e. Pa. 
Also, Mfrs of the “Sunlight' Acetylene Gas Machine 
TheTORNADO CUTTER 
KILLS ALL WEEDS 
Expands fV -,/iNaiToas 
' To 30 inches 
Expands 
To 7> z ft. 
This admits of widest adjustment—TH feet wide 
for field work and can be narrowed down to 80 In. 
for work between rows. Front wheel makes It 
ran easy and steady. Flat teeth with diamond 
S olnts. We mall Weeder Booklet Free. Make 
orn Planters, Cultivators, Harrows, Rollers, etc. 
Ask for Catalogue O. 
FA world-beater in the preparation of Dry Corn 
odder for Cattle. Free Sample and Catalogue upon 
application to 
W. R. HARRISON & CO., Mfrs., Massillon, Ohio. 
KEYSTONE FARM MACH. CO.,1547 N. Bearer St., Yarit, Pa. 
iron Age 
Thu nn.TYiA hfLR P-rown 
No. 15 
Iron Ago 
Combined 
Single Wheel 
Hoe, Hill and 
Drill Seeder. 
No. 12 
Iron Age 
Wheel Plow 
and Cultivator 
The name has grown 
In fame since 1836. Farmers have 
grown in enterprise since then. Iron 
Age implements have helped 
make crops larger, expense 
smaller. There’s a 
long line of Iron 
Age tools—for farm 
and garden work— 
every one a winner! 
They are fully described in the 
Iron Age Book for 1902 
It will give you ideas. It shows the tools by large, accurate 
wood engravings, “just as they are,” gives prices and all 
details. Whether you have a quarter acre garden 
or a great big farm you can find the tools you* 
need desoribed in this book. It is Free. 
k BATEMAN MFG. CO.. 
Box 102 
>' LI Grenloch, N. J. 
Ko. 6 
Iron Age 
Horse Hoe 
and Cultivator 
No. 70 Iron Age 
Combined Pivot 
And Fixed Wheel 
Hiding Cultivator 
$15 000.00 
IN PREMIUMS ON BUTTER 
Our “would-be competitors” jump about quicker than a 
f) ea —corner them on one statement and they jump to another. 
We keep to our original statements and proposition. We 
offer Fifteen Thousand Dollars to be divided equally between the 
five State Dairymen’s Associations—Wisconsin, Minnesota, Ohio, 
New York, and Vermont—on the same conditions we have 
offered for Vermont, provided our “would-be 1 impetitors ” will 
within ten d ys deposit this amount with lion. Charles Richard 
Dodge, the Director of Agriculture of the United St ites to the 
Paris Exposition, 1900, who was in Paris in his official capacity 
through the entire time of the Exposition. 
We stand by the records. 
For Thoroughness of Separation, Greatest Wearing Qualities 
THE UNITED STATES SEPARATOR STANDS AT THE HEAD 
WITHOUT A PEER. 
VERMONT FARM MACHINE CO., Bellows Falls, Vt. 
Jan. 6, igo 2 . 252 
Factory to Farm 
at wholesale prices. The Best 
Fenceon earth Catalogue free 
THE CLEVELAND FENCE CO., 
Cleveland, Ohio. 
DUPLEX MACHINE 
The only successful field fence maker. Ball 
Bearing, Automatic, simple, life-lasting. 
A Child Can Operate It. 
A level headed boy can take it apart and 
put it together. It makes most perfect 
Fence at Coat of Wire. 
Knrhinr M-nt on Trial. Plain and Barbed 
Wire at Wholesale Prices. Catalogue Free. 
KITSELMAN BROTHERS, 
BoxD92 Muncie, Indiana. 
HAVE YOU SEEN THE 
Jack 
of All 
Trades? 
PUMPS 
WATER - 
SHELLS 
CORN- 
GRINDS 
FEED- 
CHURNS 
BUTTER- 
—and hundreds of other Jobs with the 
strength of 15 men. Most Convenient and 
useful power ever invented. Costs only TWO 
cents per hour to run. Especially adapted 
to farm work. 
it is a NEW ENGINE made by 
Kansas City 
St. Paul 
Chicago Minneapolis 
Cleveland Omaha 
Cincinnati Denver 
Detroit Salt Lake City 
Louisville San Francisco 
Indianapolis Los Angeles 
St. Louis Portland, Ore. 
Fairbanks 
Morse & 
Co 
mpany 
20 Registered Ewes, all in lamb 
onnurOllI IluO to imported rams of the choicest 
quality; also imported Ewes and Ewe Lambs. 
J. C. DUNCAN, Mgr.Wawanund Farm, Lewiston,N.Y. 
“ Money Back 1 ” 
ACME 
Agents 
Wanted 
Pulverizing Harrow 
Clod Crusher and Leveler 
SENT ON TRIAL 
To be returned at my expense if not satisfactory. 
I deliver free on board at NewYork, Chicago, 
Columbus, Louisville, Kansas 
City, Minneapolis, 
Sau Francisco, etc. 
Sizes 3 to 13 1-2 Feet 
The best pulver¬ 
izer — cheapest 
Riding Harrow 
on earth. We 
. . also make walk- 
•• Acmes. .'Eie'A^Tcrushes^ cutCp»lv®riz»s, turns and levels all soils for 
purposes. Made entirely of cast steel and wrought iron— indestructible. 
Catalog and Booklet, “An Ideal Harrow ,” by Henry Stewart, mailed free. 
ANE H. NASH. SOLE MER., MILLINGTON, NEW JERSEY, and CHICAGO. 
No price could induce you to part with 
it if you couldn’t procure another box. 
Veterinary Pixine 
!is indicated for the most complicated 
aggravated, offensive cases of grease 
'heel, scratches, mud fever, abscesses, old 
sores, hoof rot, cow-pox and skin diseases 
of months’ or years’ standing. No mat¬ 
ter what the condition or how long 
standing, if Veterinary Pixine fails to 
cure you can get your money back. 
Its penetrating, absorbing, antiseptic, 
healiDg power is marvelously effective. 
Its worth and value to owners of horses 
and domestic animals is inestimable. 
( 2-oz. box, 25c. J At all Druggists and 
PRICK 1 8-oz. box, 50c. > Dealers, or sent 
| 5 pounds, $4. J prepaid. 
TROY CHEMICAL CO., Troy, N. Y. 
