84o 
THE RURAL NEW-YORKER 
November 19, 1904. 
HUMOROUS 
Mary had a motor car, 
Propelled by gasoline, 
And everywhere that Mary went 
She rode In the machine. 
The motor struck a stone one day, 
And from its course deflected— 1 
Doctor says that Mary is 
As well as he expected. 
—London Answers. 
Pretty Sunday School Teacher: “Oh, 
and so you have an elder brother, Jimmy. 
How old is lie?” Scholar: “I dunno; but, 
he’s just started swearin’.”—Pick-Me-Up. 
Mistress: “If you want eggs to keep 
you must lay them in a cool place.” Brid¬ 
get : “Oi’ll mintion it to the hens at 
wanst, mum.”—Illustrated Bits. 
Johnny: “Was that a good banana?” 
Bill: “The inside of it wasn’t good; but 
it had a bully skin on it. Three fellers 
have already slipped up on it, and I’m on 
the watch for more of ’em.”—Boston 
Transcript. 
Miss Kremey (in bookstore) : “Have 
you Moore's poems ?” Clerk : “Yes, miss; 
I’ll get ’em for you. By the way, here’s 
a splendid story called ‘Just One Kiss.’” 
Miss Kremey (coldly) : “I want Moore.” 
—Philadelphia Ledger. 
“Your symptoms,” pronounced the phy¬ 
sician, “indicate hydrocephalus.” “What’s 
that?” “Water on the brain.” “It can’t 
be that, doctor,” said Mr. Jagway, greatly 
relieved. “I haven’t drunk a drop of it for 
six months.”—Chicago Tribune. 
Foreigner : “Why do you have so long 
a period between the election of your 
president and his inauguration?” Native: 
To give the people time to forget the 
promises be made w r hile he was trying to 
get the office.”—Chicago Tribune. 
“George,” said Mrs* Dovekins, “I wish 
you’d tell me something.” “What it is, 
love?” “Tf it’s always such a serious 
thing when one army turns another flank 
—and is seems that they are always bound 
to try to do it—why do they have flanks? 
—Chicago Record-Herald. 
A Kansas woman wanted a set of false 
teeth and wrote to a Topeka dentist thus: 
“My mouth is three inches acrost, five- 
eights thru the jowl. Some hummocky on 
the aige, shaped somethin’ like a boss 
shoe, toe forard. If you want me to be 
more particular, I’ll have to come up 
tliar.”—Topeka Capital. 
“No. children,” said the careful parent, 
“there was never really such a man as 
Bluebeard. Jack the Giant Killer did not 
really exist; nor did old King Cole or 
Sinbad. These things are merely fables.” 
“Maw,” piped up little Johnny. “Yes, my 
son.” "Was there every any such man as 
Cleveland?”—Louisville Courier Journal. 
Visitor (complaining) : “I was told 
this place was warm and sheltered, with 
a prevailing west wind.” Old Salt: 
“That’s right, zur, October here's like 
July any where’s else. Wind’s a’most al¬ 
ways in the west.” Visitor: “But there’s 
a cold east wind blowing now.” Old Salt: 
“It’s all one, zur. It's the west wind all 
right, on its road back again.”—The By¬ 
stander. 
When you write advertisers mention The 
R. N.-Y. and you'll get a quick reply and 
“a square deal.” See guarantee, page 8. 
BUY DIRECT FROM FACTORY, BEST 
MIXED PAINTS 
At WHOLESALE PRICES, Delivered FREE 
For Houses, Barns, Roofs, all colors, and S A VE Dealers 
profits. In use 61 years. Officially Endorsed by the 
Orange. Low pricto will surprise you. Write for Samples. 
0. W. INGERSOLL, 346 Plymouth St., Brooklyn, N. Y. 
GOOD INCOMES FOB ALL 
35to30 per cent commission 
to get orders for our celebrated Teas, 
Coffees, Spices, Extracts and Baking 
Powder. Beautiful Presents and Coupons 
with every purchase. CHaKGES PAID. 
For prompt attention address Mr. J. J. D. 
care of 
THE GREAT AMERICAN TEA CO., 
P. 0. Box 289, 31-33 Vesey St., New York, 
Make your own Fertilizer at small cost with 
Wilson’s Phosphate Mills 
From 1 to 40 H. P. Send for catalogue. 
WILSON BBOS.,Sol*Efn.,Dept. N t»«ton,P». 
cr 
VI 
RY\N 
V 
A NJ*'\ 
A\N 
Vi 
WATER.WINDanb 
WEATHER PROOF 
Matite 
*/* MM *Roonm 
AMATITE Ready Roofing 
does not leak no matter how hard 
it rains. It does not run, no matter 
how hot the sun shines. 
It is also proof against sparks 
and cinders, acids and chemicals. 
It will not rust, rot, creep, crack, 
warp or shrink. 
Anyone can put it down. 
FREE BOOKLET AND 
SAMPLE BY ADDRESSING 
BARRETT MANUFACTURING CO., 
New York Chicago Philadelphia Cleveland 
Cincinnati St. Louis Allegheny N. Orleans 
Kansas Gty Minneapolis 
CHEAPEST TRIPLE GEARED MILL 
Ever offered with full guarantee, 10 days trial allowed. Grinds 
IS to 25 bu. per hour, ear com, small grain, etc. Two sets burrs, fine 
and coarse with every mill. 
Runs Easily—Grinds Rapidly 
All other styles for sweep and power, wood saws _ and horse¬ 
powers shown in new, free catalogue R Write for special introduc¬ 
tory prices. THE VICTOR FEED MILL CO., Springfield, Ohio, 
^ Ohio Shredder Blades 
(Valent Applied for) 
make efficient shredders out of “Ohio” Feed and Ensilage 
Cutters. The New Shredder Bla.de is the regular "Ohio” 
knife with solid integrally projecting bits which cut and 
tear corn stalks into a nicely shredded condition, as shown 
in the picture. It makes corn-hay of the fodder. 
Shredder Blades are interchangeable with knives on all 
sizes "Ohio” Cutters. They successfully reduce fodder to 
the proper condition and do not pulverize the leaves like 
other styles. They shred with the same power, speed and 
capacity as “Ohio” Cutters, and either the Chain or Blower 
Elevators handle the shredded corn perfectly. Speed. 600 
to 700 revolutions. Power, 2 Horse Tread up to 12 h. p. 
Engine according to size. Let us send the 1904 catalogue 
of “Ohio” Cutters and Shredders. “Modern Silage 
Methods” 10c, coin or stamps. Manufactured by 
THE SILVER MFG. CO.. Sadem, Ohio. Establish'd iSS4- 
Will IT PAT YOU ? 
a w " Gasoline Engine 
IN 30 DAYS yon will know whetherit will pavvouto 
own one of our 3% h. p. WOODPECKER ENGINES. We 
know there are a million farmers in the country who 
_ could make more money out of their farms if they 
“ WnnhDFrKrp I — owned a reliable power that would run up to every 
rt '' nLK ■ pound of its capacity, year in and year out. The only 
thingthat has held the farmers back is the question 
WlllltpaymeT You have the right to ask this question. You wantto know. We want you to know. 
We v ill ship vou a % horfe power Woodpecker Gasoline Kngine. you setit up on your farm, saw 
word, pump, and grind feed with it. Call vour neighbor in to see it. Watch it run and work and then 
po to eee other engines. Attrryru have done alltheee things you vill know. Then do what you' 
thii.k is best for you, keep the engine or send it hack to us. Let us give you the facts. Address 
“WOODPECKER” Main Street Office, Middletown, Ohio. 
Don’t Buy It Until 
You Try It 
Are the terms on which we sell 
Quaker 
^City 
Mills 
Experiments cost money. Why 
take any chances when you can 
buy a mil! that has stood”the test 
for 38 Years? Built in 8 sizes. It 
grinds all kinds of small grain, 
also ear corn, at one operation. 
Every mill is sold under a posi¬ 
tive guarantee and sent on trial, 
freight prepaid. Catalog free. 
m l W Qtrailh Pn * 787 ™»*rl8l. Philadelphia, p». 
A.TT. OliaUU UU. 47-49 Canal St., Chicago, Ilia. 
Return This Mill 
if it fails to grind ear and shelled 
corn, all grains and mixed feed 
stuffs easier, faster and better 
than any other. 4 
sizes and 3 styles. 
Small size for hand 
power. 1 style with 
elevator & bagger._ 
Hew Holland Wood Saws 
save time and labor, 3 
sizes, 1 to 12 h. p. Write' 
for free circulars. 
New Holland Mch.Co., Box I IS * New Holland, Pa. 
No like, no 
keep; no keep, 
no pay—that’s 
the “Mon¬ 
arch" way. 
Q Enables you 
to know what 
vou will get. 
i| VV e make 
French Burr, 
Attrition , 
Feed, Meal and 
Grist Mills, 
Corn Shcllcrs, 
Crushers, all kinds of milling machinery and sup- 
olies. q “Mon- arch” Machinery 
l-osts a little more,perhaps, 
Out it does more /fi&ZssSSfffik and there are 
no “extras” or “repairs.” Get 
our Catalog get mill-wise. 
S p r o Vi Waldron 
P.O.BOX 263 MUNCY, PA. 
For 13Days 
VICTORY FEED MILL. 
Oldest and BestGrinding Mill 
Made. Will crush and grind 
corn and cob and all kinds of 
grain, mixed or separate. 
Grinds faster, finer and with 
less power than other mills. 
Are built strong, well made of 
good material, and will last 
a lifetime. Small size adapt¬ 
ed for windand tread power. 
Made in four sizes for 1.4.8 
and iff H. P. Free Catalogue. 
THOS. KOHKRTS, 
Box 93. Springfield, O. 
TRY ITTT BUY IT 
W* believe we have the best 
farm grinder made and are 
willing to let you prove It. 
rilling to let you prove It. 
DITTO’S 
Triple Geared Ball Bearing 
FEED GRINDER 
is cent on trial. If it Is not the largeat capa¬ 
city, easiest runner, don’t keep it. 
1 / we 
ralso 
mane 
YOU CANNOT AFFORD JS WITHOUT 
T||C PUIPAOn rufiiyp It is a complete powerjplant, all ready to run, made in five sizes, 2 to 10 H. P. They 
I lib UnibHUU LtlUlllbi are easily moved from place to place and always ready for all kinds of work, rain 
or shine, cold or warm, w ind or calm, winter or summer, day or night. Tho only perfect and reliable power for grind¬ 
ing and cutting feed, sawing wood, running hay presses, churn,washing machines, forges, drills, creameries, blacksmith 
and carpenter shops, pumping water, etc., in fact there is no limit to what can be done with the Chicago Engine. A 2 h. 
p. engine will pump mere water than 1 0 men at one tenth the cost. Will pump more water in a given time than a 14 ft. 
windmill. With a wind mill you must depend upon the wind and when you require water the most is when the wind 
blows the least. With the gasoline engine you can start it at any moment, you will always have water. It is dif¬ 
ferent from the wind mill not only in the above respect, but you can detach it from your pump and saw from on* to two 
cords ol wood per hour. Grindlh bushels of feed per hour, cut two to four tons of fodder per hour. Ele¬ 
vates 400 bushels grain per hour, and do any other kind of work that a pow’er can be used for. 
TUC CYDPNCF IQ A I MHQT UflTlJIUf* compared to the amount of work done. Only one gal- 
I lib CArCnOL Id HLlTlUOl HU I n 111 U Ion of ordinary stove gasoline is required for each horse 
. power for a lull day of ten hours and the less power you use the less gasoline consumed. You cannot hire a man 
lor ten times the cost. You do not have to board the engine, it costs nothing to 
keep when not in use. Never loafs and is always ready. No danger of fire, no coal, 
no ashes, no dirt. Can be started and run byaiiyone. Requiresnoengineerorflre- 
man. You simply cannot afford to do without It. Never before in the history of 
the world has a high grade engine been offered at the low prices at which we are 
now selling the Chicago, the best engine on earth. 
A FIRST CLASS ENGINE AT MANUFACTURER’S PRICE 
V e are able to sell this high grade engine at the low price that we do for the rea¬ 
son that we are the largest manufacturers of gasoline engines, from 2 to 10 h. p.. of 
any concern in the country. They are made from the very best of material and by 
the very best mechanics. We have special machinery for making every single part, 
therefore every part is perfect in ever}' way. We have spent 15 years in complet¬ 
ing and perfecting gasoline engines. Tho Chicago as now made is the per¬ 
fect productof 15y ears of experience. We savo you from 350 to $150 on 
an engine, according to size. 
T||C Pllin«rn curmr isfru&raateedabsolutely first class, 
I lib UniUAIlU bHUIIlb pei feet in construction, guaranteed 
to be the easiest engine to start ever made, runs steadier, has fewer 
parts, therefore less wear and friction. 
TlilQ CIIPIIIC II AC a solid cylinder head, therefore no gaskets 
1 I nlO blstlllib IIAO to blow out, no leakage of water into the 
■ cylinder or loss of compression. Therefore we get the utmost power 
I from the fuel used. In this respect we are years in advance of any other 
f manufacturers. Our cylinders are water jacketed, all over sides ami top. 
Our snap spark Igniter is the best and surest device for perfect ignition, 
simple in construction, no gears or cams. Our Improved gonerator in¬ 
sures a perfect mixture of air and gasoline, which is one of the funda¬ 
mental principles in a gasoline engine. Tho govornor regulates the 
engine perfectly and the supply of gasoline in proportion to 
amount of work done. The speed may be changed instantly by 
the means of a thumb nut. 
■ ■ ■ IIITEDIII used in the construction of this engine 
ALL fflA I tnlAL is the highest grade possible to te ob¬ 
tained. Crank shaft is made trom best grade of forged steel, 
turned, trued and polished. The steel connecting rod has take- 
up bearing and phosphor bronze bushings. _. 
AMT Til 1C in nilT and mail it to us and we will send you our 
CUT THIS All UUI large illustrated catalog. It gives■ full des¬ 
cription, large illustrations, many photographs of the engine at actual work, driving 
machines of all kinds, and more information on gasoline engines than was ever printr 
________ _ _ ___ _ ed before. We have revolutionized tho gasoline onglno business. _ 
CHICAGO GASOLINE ENGINE CO. 57 N. JEFFERSON STREET. CHICAGO. ILL. 
Easiest ' ; 
^J|ngine on EartR""- 
To Start 
OUR 
CATALOG 
tells you what we have learned 
In 15 years of experience. Do not buy an 
engine ol any kind, a wind mill or any 
kind of power until you receive our handsome cate 
log and learned all about ourenglno and see our low prices 
