64 
THE RURAL NEW-YORKER. 
JAN '25 
Ijitmorcms, 
The Rural New-Yorker is 'prepared to 
offer very liberal terms to good, respoTisi- 
ble permanent agents. Correspondence 
solicited. 
THE TURKEY’S TERROR. 
The turkey gobbler who contrived In some sly, sub¬ 
tle way 
To dodge the executioner on last Thanksgiving Day, 
Is in his dark-.seclusion, still remain! jg deep and 
fast ; 
He won’t show up until he knows the holidays are 
P as * ■ —Chicago Herald. 
In the Wrong Place. —Newspaper Bore: 
“Anything new ? ” Paragrapher (with dig¬ 
nity ): “ This, sir, is the humorous depart¬ 
ment.”— A 'ew York Weekly. 
“I think we ought to have the fuchsia 
- for our national flower.” “Why so?” 
We have a great fuchsia before us.”— 
N. Y. Commercial Advertiser. 
“ Ma, the minister is coming.” “What 
makes you think so ? Did you see him ? ” 
* No; but I saw pa take the parrot and lock 
it up in the stable .”—New York Sun. 
Mr. Miserly : “ I don’t believe in any¬ 
thing going to waste, do you ? ” Ethel; 
“Well, I don’t object to an arm going to 
waist.”— Smith, Gray & Co.’s Monthly. 
Bridget: “Enjoy slape, is it? How 
could I ? The minit I lay down, I’m aslape. 
an’ the minit I’m awake, I have to get up. 
Where’s the time for enjoyin’ it ? ”— Phil¬ 
adelphia Call. 
Old Gentleman (passing through hall) : 
“I don’t want to see you kiss my daughter 
again, young man. Do you hear ?” Young 
man (in parlor): “ I do, sir, I’ll close the 
door next time .”—New York Sun. 
Rejected Suitor : “ Oh, you needn’t 
appear so supercilious. There are as good 
fish in the sea as ever were caught.” 
Young Woman : “ Well, if you want a fish 
you’d better go to the Fulton Market.”— 
Time. 
Grocer: “I’ve got a lot of Limburger 
cheese that I’m going to advertise for sale 
at cost. Can you suggest somo taking 
head-line for the ad?” Editor: “How 
would ‘ Unapproachable Bargain ’ suit 
you?”—The Epoch. 
“Love is Blind.” Nonsense ! Just pay a 
little attention to some other woman, and 
the woman who loves you will see it even 
if the transaction occurs 10 miles away, 
with half a hundred brick walls interven¬ 
ing .—Boston Transcript. 
Gaggs: “By George! How tired some 
of these jokes look one sees in these alleged 
humorous papers.” Baggs : “Guess you’d 
look tired if you’d traveled around as much 
as they have, and been declined with thanks 
as often .”—Detroit Free Press. 
Amateur Actress: “Why, sir, what 
other talents do I require to be fit for the 
stage?” Wise Manager: “Get married 
to-night, divorced Friday; have it well pub¬ 
lished in the Sunday papers. Then come 
in Monday, and I’ll see what I can do.”— 
Smith, Gray & Co.’s Monthly. 
In the Barn-yard.— Esthetic Boarder 
to Old Lady : “ Of course you kuow, my 
good lady, that the hen belongs to the gal- 
linacea.” Old Lady: “Not that hen, ef 
you please ! Some hens may belong to a 
gal in Asia, but these belongs to a gal in 
New Jersey.”—Yonkers Gazette. 
Jones, who is absent-mindedness itself, 
entered a shoe store the other day and 
asked the attendant to measure his son and 
heir for a pair of congress gaiters. “ But 
where is he ? ” asked the shopman. “ Why, 
drat the boy ! ” exclaims Jones, waking up 
and glancing around, “ if I haven’t gone 
and left him to hum ! ”— Judge. 
DON’T FORGET 
—IF YOU HAVE— 
—THAT THE— 
Aches, Pains, 
Soreness, 
Burns, Scalds, 
Swellings, 
Sprains, 
Bruises, Cuts, 
Wounds, PHENOL SODIQUE 
for descriptive circulars and testimonials address 
Hancf Bros. & White, Proprietors, Philadelphia 
For sale by Druggists and General Merchandise Dealers 
Quickest 
AND 
Surest 
Remedy is 
FORCE OF HABIT. 
“John,” said a lady to her very sick husband, “the doctor is down stairs and wants 
to see you.” 
“ Tell him I’m out and he’ll have to call again,” said John from sheer force of habit. 
To our friends who have not already re eived it, we are ready to mail 
our New DATA LOGIE ot 
HIGH CLASS SEEDS 
For 1890. 
Containing all the Novelties of the Season, both in Vegetable and Flower 
Seeds. 
J.M. Thorburn&C o.J5 JohnS* NewYork. 
Iinpcc e FARM ANNUAL 
U| II |^_ H_ handsomely illustrated with colored 
plates painted from nature, tells all about the 
i D COT OCCHC 1U K- U K lng RARE NOVE LTIES of sterling merit, 
nE5l oEEUtl whlch cannot be obtained elsewhere. Itis mailed FREE 
W to a » who want realty first-class Warranted Seeds. , 
W 1 ATLEE BURPEE & CO.. Philadelphia, Pa.l 
The Dingee & Conard Co’s ROSES, HARDY PLANTS, 
v Largest Rose Growers in America. 
Nrw and 
It A HE 
BULBS and SEEDS. 
OUR NEW GUIDE, 116 pp., elegantly illustrated, is 
sent FREE to ALL -who -write/or it. It describes and 
tells HOW TO GROW over TWO THOUSANO 
FINEST varieties of ROSES, HARDY PLANTS, 
BULBS and SEEDS. NEW ROSES, NEW 
SHRUBBERY, NEW CLEMATIS and Climbing 
Vines, NEW SUMMER FLOWERING BULBS, 
JAPAN LILIES, GLADIOLUS, TUBEROSES 
CARNATIONS, New JAPAN CHRYSANTHE¬ 
MUMS, New MOON FLOWERS, and the choicest 
65 
Large - 4 ^ 
Rose Houses. 
THE DINGEE & CONARD CO., rose 8 e G e R d°sS ind West Grove, Pa. 
FLOWER AND VEGETABLE SEEDS 
Goods sent everywhere by mail or express. Safe arrival guar- 
antecd. If you wish Roses, Plants, or Seeds of any kind, it will 
rpay you to see our New Guide before buying. Send for it—free. Address 
►J-S ►Js ►J. ►J. ►J-. ►Js ►J. ►J, 
The man who lias invested from three 
to live dollars in a Rubber Coat, and 
at his first half hour's experience in 
a storm finds to his sorrow that it is 
hardly a better protection than a mos¬ 
quito netting, not only feels chagrined 
at being so badly taken in, but also 
feels if lie does not look exactly like 
Ask for the “ FISH BRAND ’» Sucker 
A 
WET 
HEN 
We oiler the man who wants service 
(not style) a garment that will keep 
him dry in the hardest storm. It is 
called TOWER’S KISH BRAND 
11 SLICKER,” a name familiar to every 
Cow-boy all over the land. With them 
the only perfect Wind and Waterproof 
Coat is “Tower’s Fish Brand Slicker." 
non * u * ‘‘ ,v x.avjax ■ ■■■■■■ v and take no other. If your storekeeper 
does not have the fish brand, send for descriptive catalogue. A. J. Tower, 20 Simmons St., Boston. M ass. 
Aspinwall 
Potato 
Planter 
^PLANTS 
Corn 
pWWAUMflCC 
HREE RIVlFty 
M,CH/ DISTRIBUTES 
■1^10 I rtIDU | E.O 
Fertilizers 
ASPINWALL MFG. CO. 
THREE RIVERS, MICH. 
Write for illnstrated circular. 
Mention this paper. 
QuakIr city GRINDING MILL 
^ IMPROVED DURING 1889. 
*^C°rn and Cobs, Feed and Table Meal. Grinds finer, rnnslighter, 
ore durable than any mill on the market. Send for Catalogue before buying. 
is more 
A.W. STRAUB & CO., Phllada .Pa 
Territory Eul of Ohio. 
SPRINGFIELD IMPLEMENT CO..Sprlngltlil Okie 
Territory West of reim.ylv’nl"* ’ 
lOWS 
EVENLY and 
ACCURATELY. 
#11 matII WHEELBARROW V 
CROWN GRASS SEEDER \//j 
*■ The very BEST IHncbine ever made to \ 1/ 7 
sow Clover and Timothy. All iron wheel. V e * 
40 in. diam.j like a Bicycle wheel. Hoppers 14 ft. Iona. No 
Gearing. No friction. Send for circulars of this Seeder and y 
th« '• Crown Grain and Firtllittr Drill," the beet on the market. 
LIGHT. STRONG. DURABLE. 
pom: 
CAM .HUB. VIBRATORY LEVER. 
Thin Machine can be set to sow 
the desired quantity (from 4 to 
25 lbs per acre) instantly. Wire 
agitator not affected by weather 
Saves seed and time, and inaurei 
good hay crops. Every one mirrantea 
CROWN MANFC. CO./* 
PHELPS, N. Y. P. O. Box 4 
DO YOU 
WANT 
ANY 
Du ruble, Eire proof 
ROOFING? 
Half tbe price of flu or shingles ? Guaranteed water¬ 
tight on flat or steep surface, and you or your man 
John can put it on. Sample free if you 
STATE SIZE OF ROOF. 
INDIANA PAINT «fc ROOFING CO., 
42 West Broadway. New York. 
LANE’S PATENT STEEL DOOR HANGER 
f 
r ; ^ q_| e? 
Send forCir- 
cular. tij j 
Manufact’d by '' 
ANTI-FRICTION. 
The most perfect 
article of its kind 
made. No more break-* 
■ age; ease of move¬ 
ment and satisfaction 
guaranteed. Lane’s 
PATENT STEEL TRACK 
No Wood work. 
Simple and durable. 
LANE BROS., Poughkeepsie, N. Y 
Sold by Hardware Dealers Generally. 
SAW 
IMPROVED HEAD BLOCKS. 
ALEXANDER IRON WORKS, 
Send for Catalogue. SYRACUSE. N. Y. 
MILLS, 
IRON FRAME, 
STEEL ARBOR, 
PIANO FORTES 
UNEQUALLED IN 
Tone, Touch, Workmanship and Durability. 
WILLIAM KNABE & CO.. 
Baltimore. 22 & 24 East Baltimore Street. 
New York, 148Fifth Ave. Washington .817 M’k’t Space 
HOLSTEIN-FRIESIAN CATTLE 
1 
£ 'W‘"'l l 
IL_A’* clothiloe iBnai. 
• oTyou want the best? 
Then send for it Catalogue of the only 
herd in which 100 Cows have averaged 
19 lbs. and 18 have averaged 24 lbs. ot 
butter per week. In which 90 Cows 
have averaged 1G,019 lbs. of milk per 
year. 
MORSES. 
Clydesdale, Percheron, French Coach, 
American-bred Coach, Standard-bred 
Trotters, of the best and most Popular 
Breeding. 
Also Berkshire and Cheshire Swine. 
Separate Catalogues of Horses and Cattle. Prices 
low for high quality of stock. (In writing mention 
this paper.) 
SMITHS, POWELL Sc LAMB, 
8 \ RACUSE, N. Y. 
QCCnQ 6pktsofm> choicest Flower Seer's. U’c Beau- 
OLLUO tlful catalog free FB.lllLLS, IhornHillN Y 
DEDERICK’S HAY PRESSED. 
Mode of steel, lighter, stronger, cheaper, more 
power, everlasting and competition distanced. 
For proof order on trial, to keep the best a”d 
CJtany other alongside if you can. Reversible 
Null Circle ■u^ 1 .r i ".. licit Presses, all sizes. 
Address for 
circulars and location of ! 
Storehouses and Agents. 
No. 56 Dederick’s "Works. albIn^n y! 
Western and Southern 
P. K. DEDERICK & CO., 
ERTEL S VICTOR 
SMIPPCD ANVWHIRl to OPCRATCi 
ON TRIAL ACAINS’T ALL OTMCR 
GE0.ERTEL& CO, QUINCY, ILL 
In keel 
FAR 
wit on 
GRIND K& K sa 
U III 11 U Oyster Nbel I* 
Cm rah am Flonr & Corn*, in the 
i5HINDBIILL‘ F tfer 
4/tl lOO per cent, more made 
-OWBR MILLS and 
rculars and testimonial* 
BUOthEutoaPa 
SOW YOUR CLOVER AND TIMOTHY 
WITH THE 
I s 
tn 
CD 
o— 
pip. 
3 
MICHIGAN, WHEELBARROW SEEDER. 
p6xxcl for circular describing latest improvement a 
HOMER ROAn CART & SEEDER CO., Homer, Mich. 
