32 
THE RURAL NEW-YORKER 
TAN. ti 
I 
The Rural New-Yorker is prepared to 
offer very liberal temns to good, responsi¬ 
ble permanent agents. Correspondence 
solicited. 
THEY ALL DO IT. 
“ Whvre are you going, my pretty maid?” 
Into society, sir,” she said. 
“May I go with you, my pretty maid?” 
‘ If you’ve plenty of money, good sir ” she said. 
“ I havn’t a penny, my pretty maid." 
wish you good morning, sir! " she said. 
— Puck. 
When a man “ gives himself away” he 
naturally loses his self-possession.— Life. 
How to Raise Bread : With your 
fingers, of course; you should not take a 
fork.— Pucu. 
Willie : “ Would you be willing to share 
my lot in. life, dear ? ” Jillie: “ What is 
the size of the lot ? ”— Town Topics. 
Appearances are sometimes deceiving. 
Eggs are not strong, yet they do well in a 
scrambl e.—Bingnamton Jtiepublican. 
A hen always begins to wipe her feet 
when she goes into a newly-made flower 
bed. At least she seems by her motions to 
be wiping her feet .—Somerville Journal. 
“I NEVER speak to my inferiors.” said 
Reginald de Brokaugh. “No,” said 
Smith, “I don’t believe you ever do. Did 
you ever meet any ? "—Colonial Memorial. 
Street Robber : “ Your money or your 
life ! ” Pedestrian : “ I’m just returning 
from a church fair.” Street robber: “ Beg 
pardon. Here’s five cents for car fare.”— 
Omaha World. 
In a Western Hotel: (Englishman, 
with unsealed letter). “Clerk, have you 
any gum?” Clerk: “No, I ain’t got no 
gum. Give yer a chaw terbacker.”— 
Merchant Traveler. 
Christmas Comes but Once a Year : 
Mamma: “No, Tommy, you can’t have 
any more pudding: it will make you sick.” 
Tommy (sulkily): “ Well, haven’t I got a 
whole year to get over it ? ”— Life. 
The Old Story : “ How is your fur¬ 
nace ? ” “First-rate. We manage to get 
it warm every day, but it is a little selfish 
about letting any of the heat get away 
from it ."—Harper's Bazar. 
Sub-Editor: “Here is a story about 
a couple who lived together 75 years with¬ 
out having a dispute. Where shall I put 
it?” Editor; “ Run it in under the head of 
Odd Happenings.”— Michigan Farmer. 
Smithy : “ My mother ses I can’t play 
wid you, ’cause yer little sister’s got ther 
measles.” Mickey: “Yer can’t come that 
on me, Smithy; ye’re only jealous ’cause 
yer sister ain’t got ’em ."—New Moon. 
First Farmer Boy : “ My father’s go¬ 
ing to have some men do thrashing at our 
house next week! ” Second Farmer Boy : 
“ That’s nothin’. My father does thrashin’ 
at our house every day.”— Boston Herald. 
Edison has invented a machine by which 
a person’s face can be seen miles away, It 
should fill a long-felt want. There are 
many persons whose faces would be espec¬ 
ially interesting to gaze upon miles away.— 
American. 
The sun: “Awake I Awake! Thou 
Sluggard; I have been up for over two 
hours, and am thousands of miles on my 
way.” The sluggard : “ That’s all right, 
smarty, but you don’t have to foot it over 
a gravel road with one shoe gone.”— Life. 
The Musical Director: Mrs. Young- 
husband: “Well, Aunt Jane, how did 
you like the symphony concert ? ” Aunt 
Jane: “Oh, pretty well. But it kind o’ 
spoilt the effect to see that fool up in frout 
pretending to drum on nothin’.”— Burling¬ 
ton Free Press. 
“ There is no such personas Santa Claus, 
is there ?” asked a omall Hartford girl of 
her mother. “ Some folks say there is not,” 
was the reply. “ Well, I don’t care. I 
don’t like folks who say there isn’t any 
Santa Claus. They never give little girls 
nice presents.”— Hartford Post. 
“Ah,” said the aged wayfarer at the 
railroad lunch-counter, “ this is the old 
place. I recognized yonder landmark at 
once.” “ What landmark ?” inquired the 
cashier, considerately. “Forty years ago 
when I traveled over this road,” continued 
the stranger in a choking voice, “ I carved 
my initials and the date on yonder piece of 
apple pie. I see you have it still. Excuse 
an old man’s tears ."—American. 
LOVE’S YOUNG DREAM. 
She : When we are married, darling, what pet name shall I call you ? 
He : Call me Birdie, simply Birdie, that is all. 
U.S.KSS GRINDER 
OUR 
NEW 
The Most Complete MOWING 
MACHINE KNIFE GRINDER made 
Small, Light. Weighs only 13 pounds. Can be carried 
into the field, and at- - tach ed to Mowing Ma- 
LARK’S 
^ ^ 1 UTAWAY HARROW 
NEW. 
SUPERSEDES the PLOW! BEATS the WORLD! 
Ground Made into a PERFECT SEE!) 1IEI». 
has a SEEDING ATTACHMENT for 
SOWING ALL KINDS OF GRAIN. • 
send for New Circular, with full description, FREE. 
HIGGANUM MAN’F’G CO. 
HIGGANUM. CONN.! 189 and 191 WATER STREET. NEW YORK. 
A great actor is often 
called a “star.,” because 
of his great success. It is 
right to give honor where 
due. Some men stand out 
more prominently than 
others by merit. It is true 
of Phenol Sodique, also, 
that it merits its great 
name by curing burns, 
scalds, wounds, allaying 
fevers and soothing the 
sick. Keep it near you 
ready for use in emergencies, for these will come, 
sooner or later, to every one. Price. 50 cents. 
For descriptive circulars and testimonials address the 
Proprietors, Hance Brothers & White. Philadelphia. 
For sale by Druggists and General Merchandise Dealers 
SAW 
MILLS, 
IRON FRAME, 
STEEL ARBOR, 
IMPROVED HEAD BLOCKS. 
ALEXANDER IRON WORKS, 
Send for Catalogue. SYRACUSE, IV. Y. 
AND 
POWER 
COMBINED 
GRINDS ALL KINDS OF GRAIN including EAR CORN and 
FURNISHES POWER to run u Feed Cutter. \V ood Saw,Ac. 
at the same time. Catalogaeeimwing a full line of Sweep 
and Belt Power Feed Mills, Corn Shelters, Feed Cut¬ 
ters, HorsePowers, Ac .,/ret by mentioning this paper. 
STOVER MFG. CO., FREEPORT, ILL. 
PIANO FORTES 
UNEQUALLED IN 
Tone, Touch, Workmanship and Durability. 
WILLIAM KNABE A CO.. 
Baltimore. 22 A 24 East Baltimore Street. 
New York, 148Fifth Ave. WiSHlXGTON ,817 M'k’t Space 
ko'WE.ftft 
SUCKER 
The FISH BRAND SLICKER is warranted waterproof, and will keen you dry 
in the hardest storm. The new POMMEL SLICKER js a perfect riding coat, 
and covers the entire saddle. Beware of imitations. None genuine without the 
“Fish Brand" trade-mark. Illustrated Catalogue free. AJ.Towcr, Boston,Mass. 
The Best 
Waterproof 
Coat. 
ISLAND HOME STOCK FARM 
Grouse Isle, Wayne County, Mich., 12 miles from Detroit and 48 from Toledo. 
PERCHERON 
AND FRENCH COACH 
MORSES! 
During the last two years our horses have taken more first premiums than have been awarded any other 
lirm in America, and PLUVIOSE 8755 (683) and his get hove always taken first prize wherever shown We have 
87 stallions ami 41 mares on hand: we will make close prices and guarantee our horses breeders, and we most 
cordially invite all those who contemplate purchasing, to send for our new catalogue just out; we will send It 
free by mail, and we feel confident that, we can make It to your advantage to come and Inspect our stock. 
Write us a tetter stating what you want and we will answer fully and present facts that cannot fall to interest 
you. Our horses are selected In France by Mr. Farnnm personally (not by high-priced agents) and we will give 
our customers the benefit 
We can and will make it to your advantage to deal with us—We mean business—i f you 
do, write us and we will convince you that it will -pay you to come and see us. Address 
SAVAGE & FARNUM, SAVAGE & FARNUM, 
52 Campau Building, importers and breeders, 
DETROIT MICH. Crosse Isle Wayne Countv Mich. 
REID’S 
PEERLESS CREAMERY 
Absolute Perfection 
for Best Quality Butter. 
R UTTER W ORKER 
Also CHURNS. POWER BUTTER WORK¬ 
ERS, PR INTE RS. SHIPPINC BOXES. 
Send for my Hlas. Catalogue of New mid Valu¬ 
able (JKHAMEltY FLAN and valuable in¬ 
formation for Creamery men and Butter Factories. 
u CREAMERY SUPPLIES. 
A. H. R EI Di 30th and Market Streets, PHILADELPHIA, PA. 
■6 
CIL NTI FICgrinuimg 
^ GRINDS EAR CORN 
with or without Shucks on| 
and all small Grains, In f:u't everything: 
which can pomtibly be utilized for feed. 
SAFETY BOTTOM Practical Devices 
: to prevent breakage should iron accidentally get into Mill. 
GRINDING PLATES sharpening, doable the 
capacity of all others. Sold on trial. All Mills fully guaranteed. Sim¬ 
plest, lightest running, strongest, fastest grinding. Send for olroulars. 
THE FOOS MANUF'G. CO. SPRINGFIELD.O. 
THE 
BEST 
MILL 0 " EARTH 
SEED 
FREE 
HOOK ever l’rinted. 
ONE CENT 
PACKAGE, and 
_ up, per rarity, scarcity, 
or cost. 1000000 extras. Cheap as 
dirt by oz. & lb. Send your address. 
K. H. Shumway, Rockford, 111. 
your F0TAT0ES with the 
PROFIT FARM BOILER 
With flumping Caldron, emp¬ 
ties its kettle in one minute. The 
simplest and best arrangement for 
cooking food for stock. Also make 
Ilairy and Laundry .Stove, 
Water and Steam Jacket 
Kettles. Hog Sralilers, Cal¬ 
drons. Etc. Send for circulars. 
. R. SPERRY&CO. BATAVIA, ILL. 
Sold by Hardware Dealers Generally. 
FOR ILL PURPOSES AT LAKESIDE. 
Standard Bred Trotters. 
A rare lot of Young Stallions of most popu¬ 
lar lines of breeding. 
French Coach Horses, 
Imported and American Bred, of very 
superior quality, style and action. 
Clydesdales. 
A Superb Lot of Young Stallions, Mares 
and Fillies of this valuable draft breed, the 
result of years of intelligent and careful im¬ 
porting and breeding. 
Percherons. 
A few unusually fine young Stallions of 
this deservedly popular breed. 
Catalogue containing full descriptions! and pedl 
grees made I to parties interested. In writing men 
tiou this paper. 
SMITHS, POWELL A LAMB, 
SYHAOU8H JV„ Y. 
