652 
THE RURAL NEW-YORKER 
September 26, 1896 
Humorous. 
And her escort bad missed her; 
The music was sweet, and I begged to assist her 
Back through the dark to the man who had 
missed her ! 
She seemed to regard it an innocent lark— 
The music was sweet and the corner was dark ! 
The corner was dark, 
And I couldn’t resist her; 
The music was sweet, and I stealthily kissed her— . 
Great Scott! I then saw she was only my sister 
But she seemed to regard it still just as a lark, i 
And, therefore, I’m glad that the corner was dark! 
—Cleveland Leader. 
Risible: “Does your wife obey you 
as she promised to do at the altar? ’ 
Simple : “ Well, the fact is, I’ve never 
dared to test her.”— Sketch. 
The rooster was flapping his wings 
and crowing, and Fred turned to grand¬ 
ma and asked : “ What makes the rooster 
fan himself before he crows? ”— Youth's 
Companion. 
Willie: “Pop, wot’s a gold-bug?” 
Pop: “ lie’s a man who wants our money 
to be gold.” Willie: “Well, pop, is a 
potato-bug a man that wants potatoes 
for money ? ”— Harper's Bazar. 
Teddy brought a green caterpillar in 
from the garden the other day, and 
showing it to his mother, he exclaimed, 
“I’ve got a big worm, mamma, but he 
ain’t ripe yet! ”— Harper's Round Table. 
A man never realizes the superiority 
of woman so much as when he is sewing 
on a button without a thimble, pushing 
the needle against the wall to get it 
half way through, and pulling it through 
the other half by hanging on to it with 
his teeth.— Modes and Fabrics. 
“Just got a letter from Mildred. She’s 
enjoying the country so much. She 
says : 1 Every day at sunrise a neighbor¬ 
ing rooster rouses us with his early 
morning lay.’ ” “ 4 Early morning lay ?’ 
What’s the matter with the hens—on a 
strike ? ”—Cleveland Plain Dealer. 
“I’ve missed more fun this summer 
than you could shake your tail at.” mused 
the brindle cow. “How?” asked the 
family horse. “ To-day, for the seventh 
time, I let one of these new women get 
almost to the fence before I realized she 
wasn’t a man .”—Indianapolis Journal. 
‘•Bicycles or no bicycles,” said 
Mrs. Corntossel, with great emphasis, 
“ women’s rights or no women’s rights, 
1 don’t believe in women’s wearing 
bloomers.” “ No more do I,” replied 
her husband. “To my thinkin’, it’s 
downright lunacy. Mandy, it’s wuss'n 
that. It’s pantaloonacy .”—Bicycling 
World. 
“ Doctor, ” said he, “I'm a victim of 
insomnia. I can’t sleep, if there’s the 
least noise, such as a cat on the back 
fence, for instance.” “ This powder will 
be effective,” replied the physician after 
compounding a prescription. “ When 
do I take it, doctor ? ” “ You don’t take 
it. You give it to the cat in a little 
milk .”—Odds and Ends. 
IN writing to advertisers, please always mention 
the Rural New-Yorker. 
BUY "DIRECT FROM FACTORY,” BEST 
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competent Club 
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100 SOUTH DOWNS 
FOR SALE 1 1 will sell my whole flock of Breering 
Ewes with Lamb by my famous Bucks, without re¬ 
serve. at Public Outcry, at White Hill, Madison 
County. Ky.. on TUKSDAV, SEPTEMBER 29. Will 
sell the lot to one man. or to a syndicate, in the 
interval. Rams at private sale. 
CASSIUS M. CLAY. 
KEMP’S MANURE SPREADER 
16 Years on 
the Market. 
Improved 
for 1896. 
BREADS ar.y kind of manure in any 
the 
quantity to the acre and does it better 
hand work, even if a man spends ten 
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Sent to any. responsible party 
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catalogue free. Largciitaiitl oldest manufacturers of immure spreaders In the world. 
K'.MP & BURPEE MANUFACTURING CO., Box 38, Syracuse, N. Y. 
DON'T POT YOUR PLANTS! 
but use RICHARDS’ TRANSPLANTERS instead, as it is a much 
better and-cheaper way. Send postal for circular telling all about it 
Price of complete set of six Transplanters, one Excavator, and one 
Ejector, $2.50. Extra Transplanters, 20 cents each. Agents Wanted 
F. RICHARDS, Freeport, N. Y. 
JOHN H. JACKSON, Successor to JACKSON BROS. Established 1852. 
NEW YORK STATE DRAIN TILE and PIPE WORKS. Main Office: 76 Third Avenue, Albany, N. Y. 
Manufacturer of and Dealer In Agricultural Drain Tile. Salt- 
Glazed Sewer Pipe, Red Pressed Brick. Mortar Colors, Fire 
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OHIO SEED MAKER as one meeting all the requirements. CLEVELAND DRYER^ CO._CLEyH.AN_D J)._ 
TNSEEWG DCWNTOGBASS 
. . .. .. _ a a : i i r 
POTATO 
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A 16-page pamphlet free 
Mention this paper. 
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DIGGER POTATO 
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| D. Y. HALLOCK &. SON, Box805 York, Pa. 
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OUR 1896 Annual Illustrates the BEST 
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EA SILY.M AD E~st^a^ov^^er cd. cHicAGof/tL 
NURSERY BOOK. 
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The Rural New-Yokkek, New York. 
CONTENTS. 
Rural New-Yobkkk September 26, 1896. 
FARM TOPICS. 
Some Fair Notes.638 
An Open Letter to Farm Helpers.610 
Tbe Boy That Stays on the Farm.640 
Tomato Skins as Manure.641 
Tar and Cement for a Silo.641 
Double Crops from Cow Peas.643 
Potato Outlook in Niagara County, N. Y.645 
LIVE STOCK AND DAIRY. 
Tbe Typical “ Hothouse Lamb ”.637 
Latest About “ Certified Milk ”.638, 639 
Buttermaking on tbe Farm.639. 640 
Cooling Milk Without Ice.641 
Houses tor Hens.6<3 
Dark Days for Horse Breeders.645 
Farewell to the Horse.649 
Fighting Lice and Mites.650 
Pork Making in Arkansas.650,651 
Large or Small Meat Breeds ?.651 
When Is a Cow in Calf?.651 
Tuberculous Milk.651 
Catnip Tea for Garget.651 
Overfeeding Young Calves.651 
HORTICULTUR AL. 
Apples in Cold Storage.638 
Two Strawberries for Kansas.638 
Some Fruit Experiments.638 
How to Describe tbe Sex of Strawberries.638 
Market Gardening in Arkansas.639 
Strawberries at Cbattanooga, Tenu.640 
Plums, Peaches, Grapes and Straw berries.... 641 
What Ails the Plum Trees ?.641 
I’runing Dwarf Pears. 641 
Substitutes for Glass in the Greenhouse.641 
Fertilizing an Apple Orchard.641 
WOMAN AND THE HOME. 
Editorials .646 
A Sunday Woman.646 
Does Education Pay ?.646 
Canning Fruits; Washing Fowls.646, 647 
Patterns for R. N.-Y. Readers.647 
Pen Potpourri.647 
Calliopsis for a Winter Bloomer.647 
The Servant Question.647 
Finding Her Level.647 
MISCELLANEOUS. 
Ruralisms.642 
Those “Scientific Terms” Again.643 
Editorials.644 
Brevities.644 
Business Bits.645 
As We Go To Press.648 
Crop and Market Notes...648 
Markets.649 
Condensed Correspondence. 649 
Humorous. 652 
