812 
THE RURAL NEW-YORKER 
December 5, 1896 
Humorous. 
He: “This collection of stuffed birds 
is said to be worth thousands of dollars/’ 
She : “ Is it possible ? What are they 
stuffed with ?”— Puck. 
“ I may not be very wealthy, but I can 
afford my own carriage and pair,” said 
the fond father as he wheeled his twins 
along the sidewalk —Yale Record. 
Mother : “Robbie, didn’t I tell you 
never to let me see you do that again ?” 
Robbie : “ Yes’m ; but I didn’t know 
you was a-lookin ’.”—New York Press. 
She : “Our wedding day seems to me 
almost as a dream.” He: “It does to 
me, with one exception.” “ What was 
that?” “I distinctly remember that 
my collar got loose behind and crawled 
up my back as I went up the aisle.”— 
Indianapolis Journal. 
“ What do you wish, madame?” said 
the election officer to Mrs. Tenspot. 
“You have already voted once to-day ; 
you voted before noon, you know ?” 
“Oh, yes, I know that,” replied the 
voteress, “ but I want to change my 
ballot.”— Harper's Bazar. 
Mrs Parvenue : “ I’m going now, 
mamma.” Mrs. Parvenue (turning from 
Lord Sanssous): “ Now, above all, Har- 
rietta, don’t forget to find out how Mrs. 
Topnotch makes her faux pas. I heard 
she made one last week, and we’ll make 
some too, no matter how much it costs.” 
—Texas Siftings. 
“ Has your husband been stumping 
any this fall ?” asked the candidate 
anxiously. “ No, sir; he ain't,” answered 
the good woman. “ He’s dug his potaters 
and stacked his corn, but he ain't goin’ 
to stumpin’ till after election ; the 
stumps come out easier after it’s frozen.” 
—Detroit Free Press, 
“ Updike,” said Posdick, who had 
answered the telephone ring, “here’s a 
message saying that your house is burn¬ 
ing down.” “ Thank heavens !” replied 
Updike fervently. “ What makes you 
say that ? Is it insured for several times 
its value ?” “ Oh, no but my wife has 
cards out for a pink tea to morrow after¬ 
noon, and now she can’t have it.”— Judge. 
Mrs. Hayfork (who had summer 
boarders): “ Yes, Mrs. Hayseed, the 
i’grance of city folks about country life 
is just amazin’. Ye know I had two 
families from New York last season.” 
Mrs. Hayseed : “ Yes, I see ’em galavan- 
tin’ around.” “ Well, it’s an actual fact, 
them people brought toothbrushes with 
’em, just as if we were such savages out 
here as not to have such a simple thing 
as a toothbrush in the house .”—New 
York Weekly. 
Special to Readers of The Rural New-Yorker / 
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ONE OF THE EMINENT CONTRIBUTORS FOR 1887. 
The YOUTH S 
COMPAN10 N 
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Favorites of the Hour. 
If one were asked to name the most popular authors of the present time the answer would undoubtedly include the 
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THE RURAL NEW-YORKER 
JOHN H. JACKSON, S ^ lessor to JACKSON BROS. Established 1852. 
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