828 
THE RURAL NEW-YORKER 
December 12. 1896 
Humorous. 
The girl stood on the burning deck; 
Of course you know her fate. 
She staid because she wasn’t sure 
Her bonnet was on straight. 
— Cleveland Plain Dealer. 
Teacher : “ What part of speech is 
‘kiss’?” Entire chorus of girls: “A 
conjunction.” —Detroit Free Press. 
Dobson : “It seems to me that garment 
is too largeforthebaby.” Mrs. D.: “ But 
you must remember that it will shrink 
from washing.” D.: “So does the baby.” 
—Modes and Fabrics. 
“ Hubly, what in the deuce did you 
mean by letting that note I indorsed for 
you go to protest ? ” “ Why, man, there 
was no other way unless I paid the 
thing.”— Detroit Free Press. 
“ Uncle Simon, what is old-fashioned 
politeness ? ” “ It is a way people used 
to have of asking a man about his health 
and then listening until he got through 
replying.”— Chicago Record. 
Mother : “ Why did you accept Charlie 
from among all the young men who have 
paid you attention ?” Daughter : “ Be¬ 
cause he was the only one that had the 
good taste to propose.”— Detroit Free 
Press. 
Yabsley : “ The truest test of a man’s 
friendship is his willingness to lend you 
money.” Mudge : “Oh, ’most anybody 
will lend money. The real test is when 
you strike him for a second loan.”— 
India/napolis Journal. 
Her Mental Strain : “ Have you been 
busy lately, Mrs. Blodgett ? ” “ Yes, I’ve 
just worn myself out trying to think 
what all those things were that Mr. 
Plodgett promised to buy me after the 
election.”— Chicago Record. 
Johnny : “ Mr. Lighthead, my sister 
treats you better than she does me.” 
Mr. Lighthead : “ Why do you think so, 
Johnny?” Johnny: “ I heard her tell 
ma she gives you lots of tally, but she 
never gives me any.”— Herald. 
“You can’t both ride on a single 
ticket,” said the conductor sharply. “ O, 
I guess we kin,” answered Josh, with 
perfect confidence, as he threw his arm 
around his blushing companion. “ If 
you’ll look at this here dockament you’ll 
see that me and Marthy’s just been made 
one.”— Detroit Free Press. 
“ What time is it, my lad ? ” asked an 
American traveler of a small Irish boy, 
who was driving a couple of cows home 
from the fields. “ About 12 o’clock, sir,” 
replied the boy. “ I thought it was 
more.” “ It’s never any more here,” re¬ 
turned the lad, in surprise. “It just 
begins at 1 again.”— Harper’s Round 
Table. 
This is the way the railway man heard 
the conundrum : “ At what time shortly 
before noon is it three o’clock ? At a 
quarter of twelve, because a quarter of 
twelve is three.” And this is the way 
he worked it off on his friends: “ At 
what time shortly before noon is it three 
o’clock ? At eleven forty-five, because 
eleven forty-five is three. It doesn’t 
sound right, either, blame it, but that’s 
the way I heard it.”— Chicago Tribune. 
i- 1 Again we have the beautiful snow,* 
Of which the poets gush ; 
A poet scarce would know it though, 
Because, alas, ’tis slush. — Credit Lost. 
Special to Readers of The Rural New-Yorker 1 
Srndthis ad. and 10c. in 
stamps, and we will mail 
you J4 lb. of any kind of 
Tea you may select. The 
bestimported. Good Teas 
and Coffees, 25c. iR lb. We 
will send 5 lbs. of FINE 
FAMILY TEAS on re¬ 
ceipt of this ad. and $2. 
This is a special offer. 
THE GREAT AMERICAN TEA CO., 
31 and 33 Vesev St,. N. Y. P. O. Box 289 
Rogers’ Farm Account 
R. L Ex. Sta. Price, 50c., from No. Andover, Mass. 
DO YOU WANT A iM)B 1 se 
— .sci.L-,^r. sight — 
250,: 
EASILY MADE star Hame Fastener co- Chicago. ill 
m 
= Hon. Wm. L. Wilson 
v is the supreme authority over one-th:rd 
of all the post-offices in the world. In 
The\buths 
(ompanion 
For 1897 he will tell how the seventy American post-offices of Washington’s .*. 
time have increased to seventy thousand. The history of our postal service — 
is full of entertaining incidents and inspiring facts, and both will be found 
in the Bostmaster-General’s article on 
Early Days of the Post-Office. 
Two other members of the President’s Cabinet will contribute to The 
Companion during 1897. Hon. Judson Harmon will describe “What the 
Attorney-General Does,” and Hon. H. A. Herbert, Secretary of the Navy, 
will write on “ Building a War-Ship.” 
One of the most beautiful CALENDARS issued this year 
will be given to each New Subscriber to The Companion. 
It is made up of Four Charming Pictures in color, beautifully executed. 
Its size is 10 by 24 inches. The subjects are delightfully attractive. This 
Calendar is published exclusively by The Youth’s Companion and could 
not be sold in Art Stores for less than One Dollar. 
Subscription Price of The Companion, $1.75 a Year. 
Hew Subscribers who will cut out this Blip and send It at once 
with name and address and $1.76 will receive : 
FREE The Youths Companion every week from the time sub¬ 
scription is received till January 1, 1897 ; 
FREE Christmas, New Year's and Easter Double Numbers; 
FREE Our Artistic 4-Page Calendar for 1897, a beautifuily 
colored souvenir. The most costly gift of its kind The 
Companion has ever offered ; fm 
And The Companion 62 Weeks, a full year, to Jan. 1, 1898, 
L898. [ 
1 —u-inn? 
THE YOUTH’S COMPANION, 201 Columbus Ave., Boston, Mass. 
1 
SPECIAL COMBIKTATIOKT. 
The Youth’s Companion 
to 1898, including the Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year’s Double Numbers 
for two years, the Twelve-Color Companion Calendar for 1897 (the most costly 
gift of its kind THE COMPANION has ever offered), and 
The Rural New=Yorker 
both papers for one year for only $2.75, if you are now taking YOUTH’S COMPANION, or for $2.25 
for new subscribers for YOUTH'S COMPANION. 
Address THE RURAL, NEW-YORKER, NEW YORK. 
{ Kemp’s Manure Spreader 
15 Years on the Market. Improved for 1896. 
Spreads any kind of manure in any quantity to the acre and does 
’ it better than hand work, even if a man spends ten hours on what 
) the machine will do in two minutes. Sent to any responsible party 
i subject to approval, who will furnish satisfactory references or 
• rating of responsibility. Illustrated catalogue free. Largest and 
\ Oldest Manufacturers of Manure Spreaders in the World, 
i KEMP & BURPEE MFC. CO., Box 38, Syracuse, N.Y. 
PROFITABLE FERTILIZING! 
To get the most profit from fertilizers the right materia Is must, be used, and those obtained at low- ! 
est prices. To do this mix fertilizers at home and use the is>|*p r> « ■■■ C OP ertn A I 
bestand most soluable form of NITROGEN or “AMMONIA” I* * 1 rf#4 I C. VJ i OvUA • 
Ten Dollars per ton saved on every ton of fertilizer used and better results obtained. How t 
to do it, and other valuable facts in pamphlet “Food for Plants-” Sent free. Please ask for it. j 
S. M, HARRIS, MORETON FARM, P. O., NEW YORK. \ 
i XL tank heater 
■ /%Bi For Warming Water in St ock T anks 
Will Save Double its Cost fH 
ICE PLOWS 
$16.50. Circulars Free. 
H. PRAY, CLOVE, N, Y. 
IN ONE SEASON. 
It Is made of the best quality 
of iron, cast lu one piece. No 
sheet-iron to rust, no solder to 
melt, and cause leak. It. is 
permanently located in tank 
during winter. Need not be 
removed to kindle tire; burns 
tine or coarse coal, cobs, 
chunks Of wood and almost 
any kind of fuel. A small boy 
can easily operate it. Also 
IXL FEED GRINDERS, 
STALK CUTTERS& 
Send for Free 
“Eli” Baling Presses 
38 Styles & Sizes for Horse and Steam Power 
Bell 
#1 
_ STEEL 
Send for 64 page illustrated catalogue. 
COLLINS PLOW CO., llll Hampshire St., Quincy, lli» 
U.S. WIND ENGINE *_». PUMP CO., 
lit* Water Street, BATAVIA, ILL. 
BUCKLEY’S IMPROVED BASIN. 
Swing 
Stan¬ 
chions, 
Newton 
Ties. 
Dairy 
Supplies 
We make 
Watering 
Basins for 
Horses and 
Cattle, with 
styles adapted to every 
kind of fastening, at 
prices from 75c. to $1.50. 
C. E. BUCKLEY & CO., 
Write for 
Catalog 
Dover Plains N. 
SAWMILMNGINES 
A wonderful improvement in Friction Feeds and 
Gig-Back. Buck motion of Carriages times us fast 
as any other in the market. Friction Clutch Feed, 
causing all the feed gearing to standstill while back¬ 
ing; great saving in power and wear. Send 
4 cents In stamps for large Catalogue and prices Also 
Spring Harrows, Hay Itakcs, Cultivators, 
Corn Planters, Sliellers, etc. Mention this jxiper, 
HENCH &. DROMGOLD. Mfra., York, Ptu 
THE FARQUHAR 
SAW MILL 
PORTABLE, STATIONARY & TRACTION 
Engines and Boilers a specialty. Send for catalogue to 
A. 15. FARQUHAR CO., Lt<l.,YORK, PA. 
L 
Description. — Disc attached to blade is 
marked S for Square (90°), W for Window¬ 
sill Pitch ( 9 *). 5 for Octagon ( 2254 °). 0 for 
Hexagon (30®), M for Mitre ( 45 ®)- Move to 
.nark desired, lock by pressing button on 
side and fasten by turning thumb-nut. 
THE HILL BEVEL CO.. 
MANCHESTER CONN. 
LIGHTNING WELL MACH’Y«? 
PUMPS, AIR LIFTS, 
GASOLINE ENGINES 
.THE AMERICAN WELL'WORKS., 
frUrtORA ILI..-CHICAGO.- DALlAs.TEX.I 
The Charter Casoline Engine 
is used for almost every pur¬ 
pose power is applied 
to; and for 
FARM, DAIRY, 
and CREAMERY 
Work is unequaled. Full par¬ 
ticulars by addressing 
Charter Gas Engine Co., 
P. O. Box 26, Sterling, III. 
COOK Your FKEI) and SAVE 
Hall'the Cost—with the 
PROFIT FARM BOILER 
With I) 11 in ping Caldron. Emp¬ 
ties its kettle in one minute. The 
simplest and best arrangement for 
cooking food for stock. Also make 
Dairy and Laundry Stoves, 
Water and Steam Jacket Ket¬ 
tles, Hog Scaltlers, Caldrons, 
etc. [US’ Send for Circulars, 
D. R. SPERRY Si CO., Batavia, Ill. 
DONT READ THIS! 
Unless you want to read our little book. FARMING 
IN A BUSINESS LIGHT,” or “ HOW TO INCREASE 
THE FARM INCOME”, a highly interesting and In¬ 
structive work by an experienced and able author. 
A book that should be read by every farmer who de¬ 
sires to increase his Income, and better his condition 
on the farm. Wo bad a large special edition printed 
that is being mailed for 10c. silver, to introduce our 
catalogueol Business and Farm Books. Want one? 
Send us your dime to help pay cost. It will return 
unto vou many fold. 
J. R. WHITNEY & CO., Broadalbin, N. Y. 
Cider Machinery.—Send for catalogue to Boomer & 
Boscnert Press Co.. 118 West Water St.. Syracuse.N.Y 
CONTENTS. 
vtuBAL New-Yorker, December 12, 1896. 
FARM TOPICS. 
How Manure Is Handled in Winter.815 
Good Grass Crop in Delaware.816 
Sugar Beets; Homemade Syrup.816 
Low-down Wagons.819 
Putting on Roofing Paper .819 
LIVE STOCK AND DAIRY. 
Too Much Grain for the Horse.817 
Swelled Ankle on a Mare.817 
Food for Ducks.817 
“ Milk Fever,” So-called.819 
Simmenthal and Normandy Cattle.821 
What Is Good Milk?. 826 
Heifer Loses Her First Calf.826 
Feeding Calves.827 
Angora Goats.827 
Jersey Notes.827 
Jerseys Are Great Producers.827 
Breeding for Sex.827 
Cows “ Shrink ” in Cold.827 
HORTICULTURAL. 
Sir Walter Raleigh Potato.814 
Vegetables Under Glass.814 
“ Worms” that Ruin Quinces.816 
How Many “King" Apples?.817 
Storing Celery in Virginia.817 
Making a Hotbed.817 
The Most of a Single Potato.817 
Comparative Quality of Peaches.818 
Root-grafting Trees.818 
Big Yield of Plants.819 
More About McIntosh Red.819 
Cow Peas in West Virginia. . 819 
Carman Potato in Canada...819 
The Carman No. 1 Potato.819 
Bulbs in the House.823 
Robust Decorative Plants.823 
WOMAN AND THE HOME. 
From Day to Day.822 
Buying Inexpensive Gifts.822 
A. i'en-Cent Christmas.822 
MISCELLANEOUS. 
Geo. W. Campbell.813 
Ruralisms.818 
Editorials. 820 
Brevities. 820 
Among the Marketmen.821 
Business Bits. .821 
As We Go To Press.824 
Condensed Correspondence.824, 825 
Markets. 825 
Humorous..... 828 
