72 
THE RURAL NEW-YORKER. 
January !i8, 1905. 
HUMOROUS 
There was a young man named McCall, 
Who went to a fancy-dress ball. 
lie thought, just for fun, 
He would dress like a bun. 
And was eat by the dog in the hall. 
—Credit Lost. 
City Niece: “What kind of a chicken 
is that, Uncle Josh?” Uncle Josh: “That 
is a Leghorn.” City Niece: “How stupid 
of me! Of course, I ought to have no¬ 
ticed the horns on his legs.”—Chicago 
News. 
“I hear,” remarked Bredlines, “that 
Rockefeller makes a dollar every time he 
draws his breath. “Aha! replied Ben- 
cheimer thoughtfully. “ I hat explains his 
passion for playing golf in costume, he 
wants to take his breath in short pants. 
—Town Topics. 
Old Lady : “Meat is very dear, butcher. 
I can hardly afford to buy any.” Butcher: 
“Why not turn vegetarian, mum?” Old 
Lady: No, indeed; I was born and 
brought up a Baptist, and I m not going 
to change my religion at my time of life. 
—Credit Lost. 
Speaker: “I defy any one in this audi¬ 
ence to mention a single action that I 
can perform with my right hand that I 
cannot do equally well with my left.’ 
Voice from the Gallery: “Put your left 
hand in yer right hand trousers pocket!” 
—Chicago News. 
“Now, Tommy,” said the teacher, “what 
is the word I have written on the board— 
s-l-o-w ?” “Dunno.” “Oh, yes, you do- 
think. What does your papa call you 
when you go on an errand and don’t get 
back for a long time?” “You’d lick me 
if I told yer, ma’am!”—Cleveland Leader. 
“Do you believe in predestination?” 
asked Mrs. Oldcastle. “Well, I used to,” 
replied her hostess, “but after me and 
Josiah come back from Europe and had 
such a time gittin’ our trunks through 
1 almost think free trade would be a 
good thing, after all.”—Chicago Record- 
Herald. 
“This is the most delicious health food 
I ever tasted," complimented the pale 
man in the dining-room of the hotel. 
“Glad you like it,” replied the proprietor. 
“ I serve it to all guests who have the 
health food habit.” “But what brand is 
it? Tell me the truth.” “Oh, it is home¬ 
made. We made it out of sawdust and 
milk.”—Chicago News. 
Mrs. Chugvvater: “Josiah, in this arti¬ 
cle in the newspaper about saloons there’s 
a whole lot about local option. What 
does local option mean?” Mr. Chugwater: 
“It means that if you don’t like any lo¬ 
cality where there are saloons you have 
the option of moving out of it. I should 
think you could tell from the words them¬ 
selves.”—Chicago Tribune. 
A Scotch minister who was in need of 
funds thus conveyed his intentions to his 
congregation: “Weel, friends, the kirk 
is urgently in need of siller, and as we 
have failed to get money honestly, we will 
have to see what a bazaar can do for us.” 
And it was a curate who read in the les¬ 
son for the day: “He spoke the word, 
and cathoppers came and grassipillars in¬ 
numerable.”—Chambers’ Journal. 
BUY DIRECT FROM FACTORY, BEST 
MIXED PAINTS 
AtWHOLESALE PRICES, Delivered FREE 
For Houses, Barns, Roofs, all colors, and SAVE Dealers 
profits. In use 61 year*. Officially Endorsed by the 
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25to 30 per cent commission 
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ARE fOU IN 
ABOI = THE SIZE 
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3 IF s r 1 
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t a o your work ? 
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Send stamp for “ C4 Catalogue to nearest office 
RIDER-ERICSSON ENGINE CO., 
85 Warren St., New York. 239 Franklin St., Boston 
40 Dfarlxirn St., Chicago. 692 Craig St., Montreal, P. 
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Nothing has been left undone for making this 
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SYRACUSE CHILLED PLOW CO., Syracuse, N. Y. 
SIZES 
3 to 13J4 feet 
Agents 
Wanted. 
Pulverizing Harrow 
Clod Crusher and Leveler. 
SENT ON TRIAL. 
To be returned at my expense if not satisfactory. 
The best pulverizer—cheapest 
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Catalog and booklet. 
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. m ,, _ ... Ilenry Stewart sent free. 
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NE BUGGIES at° V 
Sold to Consumers 
WHOLESALE PRICES 
Our Elegant 1905 Model Sold on One Full Months Free Trial 
Our prices are lowest and our terms the most liberal ever offered by a 
reliable carriage manufacturer. Our leader for l‘J05 is the most stylish, 
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GUARA NTEED FOR T\V O YEARS. A postal will brim* 
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Ask for Wholesale Catalogue, A71 
The Whalebone Carriage & Harness Co. Cincinnati, 0. 
FIRST PREMIUM AWARDED 
Maple Sugarmakers’ Association. Users of Champion Evaporators 
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FOR YOUR 
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IT’S THE ROOF THAT LASTS. " 
4,. 1. a. m 1 4 r\ 4 l mnlnF 11 nAn T \ O TT t n 19 f b A HITfeQ D A UP O f IK I ^ 
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A GOOD NAME 18 BKTTKR 
THAN PitOMISKS. Buy the 
Waterloo Gasoline 
Engine 
and you will have reliable, 
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111 'cl Catalogue mailed free. 
Waterloo Gasoline 
Engine Co., 
Waterloo, Iowa. 
GASOLINE 
ENGINES 
for pumping or commercial pur¬ 
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Gas and Gasoline 
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C. LAMBERT Gas S Gasoline Engine Co. 
Anderson, Indiana. 
PALMER 
GASOLINE ENGINES 
Three Horse Power, $100 00 
Five Horse Power, $150 00 
Wood Sawing Outfits on 
Wheels 
Three Horse Power, $200.00 
Five Horse Power, $250.00 
Send for Catalog. 
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Cos Cob, Conn. 
’Grain Drills 
Before you buy a Grain Drill send 
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SUPERIOR DRILL COMPANY 
1IKI Monroe St. 
SPRINGFIELD, OHIO 
The Coming 
Unloaderl 
irl | 
i 
Louden Nay Sling 
The easiest and speediest means of unloading 
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LOUDEN MACHINERY COMPANY, 
39 Broadway, Fairfield, Iowa. 
UNITED STATES 
Importing Canadian 
WHEAT 
Is Now u Fuel. (Jet u 
HOMESTEAD 
lu 
WESTERN 
CANADA 
or buy some of the best wheat lands on 
the continent, und become a producer. 
This is the era of $1.1)0 wheat. 
The average yield of wheat this year 
will be about ti l> bushels to the ucre. 
Tiie oat and barley crop will ulso yield 
abundantly. Splendid climate good, 
schools and churches, excellent market¬ 
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Apply for information to Superinten¬ 
dent of Immigration, Ottawa, Cun., or to 
THOS. DUNCAN, 
Canadian Government Agent, Syracuse, N.Y. 
Mention this paper. 
