THE RURAL NEW-YORKER 
March 4, 1905. 
196 
HUMOROUS 
“You would,” said th« ornithorhynehus, 
“A sort of bird-creature think us; 
For we've webs on our paws, 
And a duck's bill for jaws. 
Yet we've hair, which to beasts seems 
link us.” 
—Credit Lost. 
to 
“You'say you earn more money by your 
pen than you did a year ago?” “I do.” 
“How’s that?” “I stopped writing stories 
and began addressing envelopes.”—Illus¬ 
trated Bits. 
“It is bitter cold,” remarked the shiv¬ 
ering husband. “Why don’t you button 
up your jacket?” “The idea!” exclaimed 
the wife. “Why, if I did that no one 
would know it is lined with fur.”—Tit- 
Bits. 
Doctor : “How long have you been at 
this sort of thing, Joe?” Joe: “Before 
my haccident, forty years ago, I were a 
’od-carrier, and the very fust time as I 
carried a ’od hup a ladder I fell down a 
well.”—Illustrated Bits. 
“Aren’t you going to marry the pho¬ 
tographer?” “No. I’m very much afraid 
he drinks.” “Well, if you could see the 
babies that are brought to him to be pho¬ 
tographed you wouldn't blame him.”— 
Cleveland Plain Dealer. 
“You frightened my horse with your 
automobile,” said the indignant farmer. 
“Well,” answered the novice, “your horse 
had the best of it. He wasn't any more 
scared than I was, and had the advantage 
of being in a position to run.”—Melbourne 
Australasian. 
Miss Dashaway : “I don’t care to go 
automobiling, thanks. It isn’t exciting 
enough.” Mr. Scorcher: “I think you’d 
enjoy a ride with my new chauffeur. He 
knows absolutely nothing of automobiles, 
having just escaped from the Asylum for 
the Criminally Insane.”—Life. 
Mother : “Oh, doctor! I’m so glad 
you’ve come. We have just had such a 
scare. We thought at first that the baby 
had swallowed a five-dollar gold piece.” 
Doctor: “And you found out he hadn’t?” 
Mother: “Yes; it was only a quarter.”— 
Washington Life. 
“We're awfully glad you can be here to 
dinner with us, Uncle Thomas. What’s 
the matter?” “I guess I better wait for 
the second table, Mary. You see, I never 
et with two knives and forks and three or 
four spoons to wunst before, and I’m 
afraid I might spill things.”—Chicago 
Record-Herald. 
Mrs. Nubride (excitedly) : “Oh, John, 
please send off a telegram for me, quick!” 
Mr. Nubride: “My dearest, what has hap¬ 
pened?” Mrs. Nubride: “Why I’m taking 
a correspondence course in cooking and 
the cake I made is running all over the 
oven. I want to telegraph them quick to 
find out what to do.”—Brooklyn Life. 
“This John Doe must be a turrible bad 
feller,” mused Maw Toptoad. “He’s alius 
in trouble. I see he’s been indicted again 
out in Oregon. I wonder where he lives 
when lie’s to home?” “I expect he lives 
in Effigy,” chuckled Paw Hoptoad, “the 
place where so many people are hung.”— 
Houston Chronicle. 
BUSINESS BITS. 
C. A. S. Forge Works, Saranac, Mich., is 
offering forges for farmers’ use. There is 
little doubt that a forge and a few tools will 
pay for themselves many times over during 
the year in the saving of blacksmith bills, to 
say nothing of loss of time going to town, 
which in a busy time amounts to more than 
the cost of repairs. Read the above com¬ 
pany's offer in this issue. 
Ingersoli/s Faint Book is printed to help 
sell mixed paints, but it contains a whole lot 
of good information that would be worthy 
of a book published exclusively for informa¬ 
tion on paints and painting. A liberal use 
of paint would save thousands of dollars for 
the farmers of this country every year. Not 
only the buildings and fences, but the 
wagons, plows, harrows, and, in short, every 
tool and machine used on the farm would 
look better and last longer if treated to a 
good coat of paint, which anyone can apply 
when the paint comes ready mixed. Send for 
the Paint Book to O. W. Ingersoll, 246 Ply¬ 
mouth Street, Brooklyn, N. Y. 
The smokehouse always was a source of 
worriment, vexation and expense, anyhow. 
When it catches tire let it go up in smoke. 
There's a better way to smoke meats. That 
is by using Krauser's Liquid Extract of 
Smoke. It's been gaining in all parts of the 
country for several years past and there is 
no longer any doubt that it is driving the 
smokehouse out of business. Krauser's Liquid 
Extract of Smoke is made from selected hick¬ 
ory wood. It is applied to meat with a 
brush or sponge. It contains the same in¬ 
gredients that preserve meat that is smoked 
in the old way. It. is cheaper and cleaner 
titan the old way. Information concerning 
its use, cost, etc., can be bad by writing to 
the makers, E. Krauser & Bro., Milton, Pa. 
Standard Fertilizer. — In every line of 
goods there are certain brands which are rec¬ 
ognized as the standard. In the fertilizer 
trade this standard is by common consent 
given to the Mapes manures. For many years 
the name of Mapes has represented quality— 
"As good as Mapes” has been the farmer's 
idea of crop-producing value in a chemical 
mixture. Hundreds of successful farmers 
who have made money year after year on 
their farms have used Mapes manures con¬ 
tinuously, and their success is the best adver¬ 
tisement for these fertilizers. This high rep¬ 
utation has been won by profitable service in 
the field. Laboratory tests are well enough, 
but when a fertilizer has given profitable re¬ 
turns in actual culture year after year and 
farmers are ready to endorse it, an argument 
is presented that beats that of a chemist. 
The Mapes pamphlets tell their story in con¬ 
vincing language. Write for them to the 
Mapes Fertilizer Co., 143 Liberty Street, 
New York. 
NO SUBSTITUTE 
has yet been found for cod 
liver oil. There are so-called 
extracts, wines and cordials of 
cod liver oil that are said to 
contain the active principles 
but not the oil itself. This is 
absurd on its face. You mieht 
as well extract the active prin¬ 
ciples of wheat and make 
bread with them. The best 
form of cod liver oil, that can 
be digested and assimilated 
most easily, is Scott’s Emul¬ 
sion. 
We’ll send you a sample free. 
6COTT & BOWNE, 409 Pearl Street, New York. 
The Choice 
of Lamps 
It is not merely the matter of cost, but the 
comfort and artistic effect of your home 
by night, as well as the convenience 
. and work by day. 
THE 
Angle Lamp 
is the most economical of all good lights and 
its soft, mellow, steady light makes it the 
most desirable. 
It is overhead, out of the way, casts no un¬ 
der-shadow, emits no odor or smoke and is 
lighted and extinguished like gas. In fact it 
is a perfect substitute for gas and electricity at 
a far less cost. Burns for 18 hours with one 
filling and saves its own cost in a short time. 
Sold on 30 Days Trial 
You would never part with it if you learned to 
know it. Ask for our free catalogue NN and 
learn all about it. 
THE ANGLE MFG. CO. 
78-80 Murray St., New York. 
MODEL LEADS 
OU K 1005 MODEL sets the 
style in buggy making. Up-to- 
date in equipment, design, and 
workmanship. Long - distance 
axles Sold direct to user 
on One Full Month’s 
FHEK Trial. 2-year 
guarantee. Lowest prices 
in America quoted in 
our Free Catalog. Write 
The Model Carriage and Harness Co. 
X?1 W. sixth Street, Cincinnati, O. 
FARMERS 
THINK 
of the money spent each year in blacksmiths’ bills when 
it could be saved if you had a forge on the farm and did 
your own repairing and biacksmithing. 
Many of our customers say our forge has enabled them 
to save as high as $50.00 a year. 
When buying a forge, it is advisable to get one with 
blower capable of giving a strong blast for heavy 
work, and large hearth to hold the tools and make a deep 
welding fire. 
We Guarantee Our Forges 
FORGE ON THE MARKET AND TO BE AS REPRESENTED OR MONEY REFUNDED 
TO BE AS LARGE AND TO 
EQUAL IN EVERY WAY 
ANY $10.00 OR $15.00 
This has been our guarantee for the past 7 years, 
and we have never had a farmer request us to take 
back a forge. Our sales last season exceeded 40 car¬ 
loads. 
Our forges have large blowers and will easily pro¬ 
duce a welding heat on 4-inch wagon tire or 2-inch 
round iron. 
Special Prices for Feb. and Mar. 
Price of Farmers’ Wooden Forge Complete, $4.00 
Price of Farmers’ Steel Forge Complete, 4,25 
This offer may not appear again. Write to-day. 
Send stamp for our catalog of Farm Forges and money 
saving repair tools. 
C. A. S. Forge Works 
SARANAC, MICHIGAN 
THE 
JUNIOR, No. 2 
Meets the demands of parties who, for a small investment, 
wish to engage in the Cement Stone Business for the mar¬ 
ket, or purchase machine for their individual use 
It is so simple and easy of operating and change for 
different sizes that it can be successfully used By in¬ 
experienced operators, 
ft is thoroughly adapted to any and ail kinds of con¬ 
struction. business blocks, factories, dwellings, barns, 
foundations, porches, yard fences, chimneys, etc. 
It.not only makes hollow blocks, but by using a parting 
board will make veneer or partition walls, four- inch bed 
or thickness and two stones at one operation, one of 
which can lie rock or bevel edge, smooth. Manufactured by 
Brady Cement Stone Machine Co., Ltd., 
Jackson, Michigan, U. S. A. 
BUCKEYE 
Pivot Axle Disc 
Riding Cultivator 
The farmer who possesses a Buckeye Pivot Axle Disc Riding Cultivator reaps 
many benefits. He. has a cultivator that'in efficiency, convenience and eco¬ 
nomy is unsurpassed. With wheel guide, double 
tongue, drop hitch, adjustable arch, spring 
pressure, beams adjustable to or from 
row, it makes cultivation sure, easy and 
cheap. Especially constructed for 
cultivating in pea vines and weedy, 
foul ground. It does as good work 
on the hillside as on the level, and 
it always gives satisfaction. It’s a 
cultivator so made that it won’t 
wear shaky or lose its rigidity. 
Ask to see the complete Buckeye line 
of implements at your dealers. Write 
for catalogue aud full description. 
Do. 60 Buckeye Dlae Riding Cnlttentor. P, P, MAST & CO., 9 Canal St., Springfield, Ohio. 
TILE DRAINED LAND IS MORE PRODUCTIVE 
Earliest and easiest worked. 
Carries off surplus water; 
admits air to the soil.* In¬ 
creases the value. Acres of swampy land reclaimed and made fertile. 
Jackson’s Round Drain Tile meets every requirement. We also make Sewer 
Pipe, Ked and Fire Brick, Chimney Tops, Encaustic Side Walk Tile, etc. Write 
for what you want and prices. JOUH U. JACKSON, 76 Third Are., Albany, N. X. 
ONION GROWERS 
WHY CONTINUE IN THE OLD RUT 
WHEN AN EASIER RATH 
IS SHOWN YOU ? 
Use our RED STAR WEEDER lengthways 
and crossways of the rows about six days after 
the seed has been drilled, and you will be sur¬ 
prised at the millions of weed sprouts you have 
easily and quickly destroyed. Adopt this method 
and it will postpone the hand weeding until 
the crop is six inches high. Send for free 
illustrated catalogue to 
GARDEN TOOL COMPANY, 
37 Winthrop St., Salem, Mass, 
60,000 Sure Hatch Incubators 
.Working aatisfactorily night and day. 
3 No “race euicide" in the poultry 
world while Sure Hatches 
busy. Hatch evory tortile egg. Lead 
because of exclusive patented feat¬ 
ures. $100,000 , S-year guarantee. 
Price of 120-egg machine, -g g ^ 
freight prepaid east of III 
t the Rocky Mountains 
60 days* trial. Catalog free. Address 
P BUB* HATCH INCUBATOR CO., 
( 4411* Clay Center, Neb. Box 14411, Indianapolis, lad* 
TELEPHONES 
FOR FARMERS’ LINES 
Buy from the manufacturer. Build 
your own lines. Book of instruction 
free. Write nearest office. 
THE NORTH ELECTRIC CO. 
152 St. Clair St.,Cleveland, O. 
440 Main St., Dallas, Texas 
jW 
I 
Syracuse Hillside Plow 
Equally adapted to hillside and level land plowing, leaving it without ridges 
or dead furrows, and holds as easily as any flat land plow. The Steel Truss 
Beam gives lightness and strength. Handles side-shift with each turn and 
adjust for height. Jointer is practically uncloggable,. and acts 
automatically. Colters furnished. The Lever Shifting Clevis 
quickly changes the draft line. Made in two sizes, 
with Steel or Chilled Moldboards and Cast Shares. 
Nothing has been left undone for making this 
plow the model of its class. Call on the 
_ Syracuse agent or write us. 
w\\vc\ CM SYRACUSE CHILLED PLOW CO., Syracuse, N. Y. 
