324 
THE RURAL NEW-VORKER 
March 20, 1909. 
HUMOROUS 
Professor (to his aged cook) : “You 
have now been twenty-five vears in my 
service, Regina. As a reward for your 
faithfulness I have decided to name the 
hug I recently discovered after you.”— 
Meggendorfer Blaetter. 
Returning Husband —“ Oh, and I 
say, Laura, before I left town, Mrs 
Hugh Wilson gave me three enormous 
pears for you. I ate one in the train 
sat on another, and gave the third away 
Don’t forget to write and thank her!’ : 
—Punch. 
“I was just reading of a man who 
has a hen that can sing; another man 
has a hen which whistles and imitates 
various birds.” “I don’t care for these 
vaudeville hens. A hen should stick to 
the legit, and lay eggs.”—Kansas City 
Journal. 
The New Tenant: “And the last 
owner, Donald, you say tried to in¬ 
troduce nightingales on the estate?” 
Donald: “Aye, sir, he did, indeed; but 
they wouldna stay. Ye’ll no ken, may¬ 
be, the nichtingale winna stay in Scot¬ 
land.” The New Tenant: “Is that so? 
Can’t acquire the accent, I suppose.”— 
London Opinion. 
“Do you think that Miss Kidder was 
having fun with me?” asked Chawley. 
“Well, old chap, give me the details,” 
was Awthur’s response. “You see, I 
had my bull terrier with me. And I 
said to her, ‘That dog knows as much 
as I do.’ And she said, ‘Don’t you think 
four dollars and a half was too much 
to pay for him?’”—Cleveland Leader. 
“Now that you have become so 
wealthy,” said the millionaire’s friend, 
“do you find that people bother you 
with begging letters?” “They write 
’em,” answered the magnate, “but they 
don’t bother me. I get about 200 a day. 
They all enclose stamps for a reply, 
and I have my secretary answer on 
postal cards, encouraging them to write 
again. Every little bit helps.”—Cleve¬ 
land Leader. 
From the dark kitchen there eman¬ 
ated a series of thumps and angry ex¬ 
clamations. Jones was looking for the 
cat. “Pa!” called tie son from the 
stairway. “Go to bed and let me alone,” 
blurted Jones. “I’ve just barked my 
shins.” “Pa!” insisted Tommy, after 
a moment’s silence. “Well, what is 
it? Didn’t I tell }’Oii to keep quiet?” 
“I—I didn’t hear your shins bark.” 
And the next moment Tommy was be¬ 
ing pursued by an angry sire with a 
hard hair brush.—Chicago Daily News. 
It was in the hotel of a Western min¬ 
ing town that the New England guest, 
registering in the office, heard a succes¬ 
sion of loud yells. “What in the world 
is that—a murder going on up-stairs?” 
he demanded. “No,” said the clerk, as 
he slammed the book and lounged to¬ 
ward the stairs. “It’s the spring bed 
up in Number Five. That tenderfoot 
up there don’t get the hang of it, and 
every few days he gets one o’ the 
spiral springs screwed into him like a 
shirt-stud. I guess I’ll have to go i n, 
if there ain’t anything more I can do 
for you for a few minutes.”—Youth’s 
Companion. 
When you write advertisers mention The 
It. N.-Y. and you’ll get a quick reply and 
“a square deal.” See guarantee page 10. 
SAVE HALF Your 
Paint Bills 
By using INGERSOLL PAINT— proved 
best by 66 years’ use. It will please you. 
Only Paint endorsed by the “Grange.” 
Made in all colors,—for all purposes. 
DELIVERED FREE. 
From the Mill Direct to You at Factory Price*. 
INGERSOLL PAINT BOOK —FREE 
Tells all about Paint and Painting for Durability. 
How to avoid trouble and expense caused by paints 
fading, chalking and peeling. Valuable information 
free to you. with Sample Color Cards, Write me. DO 
IT NOW. I can save you money. 
0. W. Ingersoll, 246 Plymouth St., Brooklyn, N.Y. 
A Cure for Leaky Roofs 
D ON’T waste time trying to 
patch a leaky roof! A roof 
which leaks in one place is 
generally on the verge of leaking in 
many other places. 
The cheapest method of repair is 
to cover the whole roof with 
Amatite. Amatite costs so little that 
the entire job can frequently be 
done for the expense of caring for a 
leak}' root. After the old roof is 
covered with Amatite you will have 
no further worry or expense. 
Most ready roofings require a coat 
of paint every two years to keep 
them in order. But Amatite is not 
the ordinary kind of Ready Roofing. 
Amatite has a real mineral surface, 
firmly imbedded in the Coal Tar 
Pitch waterproofing. This surface 
resists the attacks of the elements like 
a stone wall. It demands no ad¬ 
ditional protection or covering, such 
as a coat of paint. 
Buying Amatite is the same as 
buying an ordinary ready roofing 
with an agreement from the dealer to 
keep it painted free of charge. Such 
an agreement on the ordinary roofing 
would double its value. You prac¬ 
tically get such an agreement with 
every roll of Amatite; yet the price is 
no greater than that of the ordinary 
kind. 
Send us your name and address, 
and we will forward you by return 
mail a free sample of Amatite, and 
you can see how tough, durable and 
substantial it is. Write to-day to 
nearest office. 
Barrett Manufacturing Co. 
New York, Chicago, Philadelphia, 
Boston, Cincinnati, Minneapolis, 
Cleveland, St. Louis, Pittsburg, New 
Orleans, Kansas City. 
We Ship for Examination 
and A pproval 
guaranteeing safe deli ;ory, and also to save 
you money. If you are not satisfied as to 
style, quality and price you are nothing out. 
May We Send You Our Large 
Catalogue? 
Elkhart Carriage & Harness Mfg. Co. 
Elkhart, Indiana 
LOOK 
AT THIS FRAME. 
IT MAKES THE 
ADMIRAL 
DO 
BETTER WORK 
WITH 
LESS EFFORT 
THAN ANY 
OTHER MOWER 
Top View of The Admiral Frame 
THE ONLY MOWER FRAME ALLOW¬ 
ING GENUINE UNDERDRAFT 
Freely suspended on the main axle, not rigidly connected with the 
pole, its front side, from balance-wheel to main-shoe, rises and falls 
with the cutter-bar, the pitman angle never changing. Results: balance- 
wheel safely carried lower than on rigid-frame mowers, pitman thrust 
more direct and powerful, wear and tear at main-shoe greatly reduced. 
Cramping and binding of pitman an impossibility. Vibration of gearing 
not carried through pole to horses’ necks. The driver is not annoyed 
by the vibration as on other mowers. Plave our dealer explain this 
as well as the many other valuable features of the Admiral. If you don’t 
know his address, write ns. Get illustrated catalog. 
WALTER A. WOOD MOWING 
AND REAPING MACHINE CO. 
BOX 508 HOOSICK FALLS, N. Y. 
OLDEST AND LARGEST INDEPENDENT MANUFACTURER OF HARVESTING MACHINES 
ELKHART BUGGIES 
are the best made, best grade and easiest 
riding buggies on earth for the money. 
For TLiirty Six Years 
we have been selling direct and are 
The Largest Manufacturers 
in the World 
selling to the consumer exclusively/ 
With ■*t ***^-1 
■/ta jipil 
American 
Saw 
Mill 
This simple, light runnin? 
mill makes more and better 
lumber with less power and 
less help than any other. You can 
set up and operate any American mill 
with the directions before you. If you 
have no timber, your neighbors have. 
Don’t let your engine lie idle. 
124-Page Book, Free 
Containing valuable suggestions about 
the care of saws, fully describing the fea¬ 
tures that make our mills best, giving 
prices and guaranty and full information 
about our Wood Saws, Shingle Ma¬ 
chines and other wood working ma¬ 
chinery. Write for book today. 
American Saw Mill Machinery Co. 
129 Hope St., Hackettstown, N. J. 
1582 t erminal BuildlDgs, New York 
Unlimited Wealth May Be Yours 
below the surface of 
the ground in deposits 
of coal, oil, gas, ores 
or metals. The surest 
and most economical 
way todetermine what 
the ground contains 
is by means of the 
“American” 
Coring Machine 
which will removoa 
> 2 ^- -- core of any size, any 
■'MT depth, thru any kind of shale or rock 
formation cheaper titan by any other 
method. Our now catalog describes every method 
of well sinking and mineral prospecting—FREE. 
The American Well Works, omce & work., Aurora, III. 
First Nat. Bank Bldg., Chicago. 
P. Aubeck, (Export) 4 Stone Street, New York. 
A NEW IDEA IN WAGON BOXES, 
Fits tiny farm wagon. May be used for hauling 
any commodity. Especially adapted for sand, 
grave), crushed stone and material of similar na¬ 
ture. Dumps load instantly or will spread it. All 
done with the foot. .Money saver for farmers, 
teamsters and contractors, indispensable for 
road-making, macadamizing, etc. Write for prices 
and circulars. 
EVERETT MANUFACTURING CO. 
33 Lake Street, Newark, New York. 
Your wagon won't 
mire—pile on the 
| load — soft soil or 
sund — it’s all the 
same when you 
1 have the 
Empire “Good-Roads” 
Steel Wheels 
The wide tires, plain or grooved, 
have plenty of surface so they can’t 
Bink down. Haul 60 per cent more 
than with the ordinary wagon. A set 
of these wheels for your old wagon 
will pay big profits in iabor ; snving. 
Made any size. Will last a lifetime. 
Send for Free Wheel an<l Wagon 
Rook. “ ‘Good-ltoads’ Steel 
Wheels Make All Roads Good.’ 
Empire Mfg. Co., Box 4 1 8Quincy.UI. 
Quit the old, back-breaking, hand-blistering | 
way of digging—use the now, up-to-date, low- 
priced Iwan Digger—goes through gravel, clay, 
sand or gumbo—no matter how wet or dry. Pulls j 
out and unloads quick and easy. Anyone can 
SB Dig a Hole In a Jiffy With 
I wans’ Patent Post Hole Auger 
For It pays for itself in one job. A eimpio 
Our PIP 0 extension permits going down to 4(1 
FREE feet—deep enough for wells. The blades 
Rlink §f Iwan Augers aredouble, tempered 6t.ecl. 
DUUn Remainsharpfor yenrs.noveroutof order. 
Write now forourfree book called "Knsy 
Digging” and learn how easy it is to dig- 
nowadays. We will also tell you where you 
can see one of these low-priced imple¬ 
ments—write to 
Iwan Bros. D T‘ South Bend.lnd. 
EXOELL 
ROOFING 
and SIDING 
■ RON 
and 
STEEL 
Send today for Free Book and bottom 
Factory Prices on Metal Hoofing and 
Siding. Made in our own factory. 
Better than you can buy elsewhere at 
any price. Shipped at our risk. You 
Send No Money 
soyou take no risk. Our guarantee 
and see-wliat-you-buy-before-paying- 
f S' H Plan specify you pay nothing unless 
ft* 2 fully satisfied. Lowest prices on all 
|S 8 roofing and roofing supplies sold 
13X1 straight to you from Factory at real 
j Factory Prices; Don’t buy till you got our prices and 
I FREE Rooters’ Guido—Write for this Book today. 
[ The United Factories Co., Hoot, K31 , Cleveland, O. 
