THE RURAL NEW-YORKER 
July 31, 1909. 
HUMOROUS 
'‘De rich man can’t take his money ter 
heaven.” “Lawd, no! Ef he des kin 
git dar hisself he’ll be lucky es a winner 
at a hoss race!”—Atlanta Constitution. 
Hicks : “What did your wife’s first 
husband died of?” Wicks: “Lonesome¬ 
ness, I guess. He was perfect.”—Bos¬ 
ton Transcript. 
Lawyer: “When you served the pris¬ 
oner, did he eat his dinner with gusto?” 
Hotel Waiter: “No sir; he ate it with 
Worcester sauce.”—Baltimore Ameri¬ 
can. 
“Your grandfather used to be my 
grandfather’s hired man.” “Yes, and 
your grandfather died owing him a 
year’s wages. Eh, what?”—Cleveland 
Leader. 
Mr. Rocks (to chauffeur who has lost 
control of machine) : “Can you stop 
her?” Chauffeur: “No.” Mr. Rocks: 
“Well, then, run her into something 
cheap.”—Chicago News. 
“Some of the greatest men in our 
history studied by the light of pine 
knots.” “Yes,” answered the young man, 
“they could afford pine knots. They 
lived before there was any lumber ■trust.” 
—Washington Star. 
“It’s always dangerous to jump at 
conclusions,” said the careful man. 
“You’re liable to make yourself ridicu¬ 
lous, to say the least.” “That’s right,” 
replied the other. “I jumped at the 
conclusion of a ferryboat once and 
missed it!”—Scraps. 
Gamekeeper: “What are you doing 
in here? Didn’t you see the board— 
“Private. Trespassers will be prose¬ 
cuted’?” Tripper: “Well, yes; I see’d 
a board, but I read ‘Private’ on it, so 
read no further, thinking it was none 
o’ my business.”—Punch. 
Medicine Man : “What is the matter 
with your maje'sty?” Cannibal King: 
“Oh, I’ve an awful indigestion.” “What 
have you been eating?” “I have just 
polished off an American millionaire.” 
“Good heavens! No wonder you are 
ill. I’ve told you repeatedly to beware 
of anything rich.”—Tit-Bits. 
First German Professor: “Would 
you believe it, my dear colleague, I ac¬ 
tually do not know the ages of my chil¬ 
dren?” Second German Professor: 
“Such a thing could never happen with 
me. I was born 2,300 years after Soc¬ 
rates ; my wife 1,800 years after the 
death of Tiberius; our son, Leo, 2,000 
years after the promulgation of the Li- 
cinian laws by Tiberius Sempronius 
Gracchus, and our Amanda 1,500 years 
after the commencement of the great 
Migration. Very simple, is it not?”— 
The Classical Review. 
When you write advertisers mention The 
R. N.-Y. and you'll get a quick reply and 
“a square deal.” See guarantee page 8. 
SAVE HALF Your 
Paint Bills 
By using INGERSOLL PAINT— proved 
best by 66 years’ use. It will please you. 
Only Paint endorsed by the “Grange.” 
Made in all colors,—for all purposes. 
DELIVERED FREE. 
From the Mill Direct to You at Factory Prices. 
INGERSOLL PAINT BOOK — FREE 
Tells all about Paint and Painting for Durability. 
How to avoid trouble and expense caused by paints 
fading, chalking and peeling. Valuable information 
free to you. with Sample Color Cards. Write me. DO 
IT NOW. I can save you money. 
0. W. Ingersoll, 246 Plymouth St., Brooklyn, N.V. 
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GREEN MOUNTAIN 
SILOS 
The best in design, material and 
results obtained. 
Double the profit of the farm. 
Silage superior in every way. 
Construction unaoproached. 
Fully guaranteed. 
Write now for . kerature. 
Creamery Package Mfg. ©o. 
322-324 Broadway, Albany. N. Y. 
FACTORY AT RUTLAND, VT. 
w gss Work— 
lainty Dishes 
^No woman realizes how much work she 
^•ould save, and the tempting variety of 
6-dishes she could offer at the table, until she 
cr possesses a Keen Kutter Food Chopper. 
Just a few turns of the handle instead of the 
*° ' • tiresome chop, chop at the chopping bowl. 
Meat, fish, vegetables, fruits are chopped 
uniformly, coarse or fine as you wish. T 
mu 
KWttR 
l Meat and Food Chopper 
is attached to the table or detached in a second 
—works so easily a child would enjoy using it 
—wears a lifetime—more easily cleaned than a 
chopping bowl. 
Sold under the famous Keen Kutter name and 
trademark, which always and everywhere guar¬ 
antee satisfaction or money returned. Ask for 
the Keen Kutter Food Chopper by name. 
If not at your dealer’s, write us. 
No. K-10 
Price $1.25 
SIMMONS HARDWARE COMPANY (Inc.) St. Louis and New York, U. S. A. 
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I 
You can ho more get 
'7 wheat without straw than 
you can get cream without 
milk. If you get too much milk for 
too little cream, don’t starve the cow to 
reduce the milk, but feed her for richer milk. 
If your wheat this year shows too much straw and 
not enough grain, feed your soil this Fall for wheat 
that will grow more grain next year. 
Complete your commercial fertilizer with 
Potash. It builds up a strong, sturdy, well rooted, 
springy wheat stalk, fills out the grain, and carries it 
through wind and rain to make a profitable harvest 
for you. 
POTASH PAYS 
Add enough Potash to your fertilizer to bring it up to a 2-8-6 formula. Two 
pounds of Muriate of Potash to each 100 pounds of fertilizer increases the 
Potash total one per cent. 
Send for new Farmers’ Note Book—about soil, crops, manures and fertilizers- 
a practical book compiled by experts. Mailed on request. Free. 
GERMAN KALI WORKS, 93 Nassau Street, New York 
Chicago—Monadnock Block Atlanta, Ga.—1224 Candler Building 
Abenaque Water Supply Systems 
and 
Pumping Plants 
Are described in detail in our new Water 
Supply Catalogue. We can furnish outfits 
for all purposes. Submit us your Proposi¬ 
tion and let us submit Price on a suitable 
system. Engineering advice gladly given 
free of charge. Write for Catalogue “O,” 
Abenaque Machine Works West vLrmont tation ’ 
Boston Salesroom, 77 Oliver Street 
GRAFS 
Practical, dura¬ 
ble and econ- 
omical ma- 
l!^?chinery. Write 
~~ ^for illustrated 
catalogue 
showing cuts and descriptions of our full line. 
A W. GRAY’S SONS, 51 South St., Middletown Springs. VL 
Climax Ensilage Cutter 
Simplest, cheapest and most perfect working of all ensilage 
machines. Cuts and elevates at one operation, with no litter 
or waste. No other style of cutter compares with the 
Inward Shearing Cut 
of knives and the Climax is the only cutter that has 
it. Don’t be caught by bare claims of superiority 
without proof. Read the record of the .Fair and 
other Competitive Tests. We are always anxious to 
let the Climax work side by side with any other machine, 
the buyer to take the best. It you want to be sure of the best, ask 
for the competitive test. Send for free catalog. 
WARSAW-WILKIWSON CO., 50 Highland Ave.. Warsaw, N. Y. . 
THRESHERS, GASOLINE ENGINES, 
HORSE POWERS, ENSILAGE CUTTERS, 
and WOOD SAWS. Highest Grade. 
The Complete 
Machine 
_Cuts and Elevates 
7 to 25 Tons an tfioup 
U 
WILDER'S 
WHIRLWIND 
SILO 
FILLER 
Will cut 
or shred 
green or dry fodder and 
cut hay or straw. Our cat¬ 
alog explains why Whirl- 
win d s succeed where 
others fail. Carried in 
stock at principal trans¬ 
fer points. Pamphlet,— 
“How and Why to Fill a 
Silo," sent free. 
Wilder-Strong Implement Co, 
. ___ Box 33 
Monroe, Mich. 
THE PAPEG 
PNEUMATIC 
EnsiEage Gutter 
will prepare you a better silage and fill your 
silo in less time, with lesr power and with less 
trouble to you than any other blower ensilage 
cutter made. 
It is the most convenient and the easiest to 
operate. It never clogs, never gets out of 
order, never disappoints. We guarantee every 
machine to be perfect and to do the. Work 
claimed for it. < .• • T 
' If you need an ensilage cutter you need a 
Papec. Send lor catalog giving full particulars. 
Papec Machine Co., Box 10 Shortsville.N.Y. 
SMALLEY FILLERS 
Solid construction throughout. Safety Fly¬ 
wheel, Belt-pulley and Teed Controller. Length 
of cutchanged in a moment. Knives clear easy 
because beveled on out edge. One piece knife 
head strongest made. Gear and sprockets 
covered by shields—safest cutter to operate. 
Blower most powerful built —throws the fodder 
as well as blows it. Write for booklet 
and get details. 
HARDER MFC. COMPANY, 
Box 11, Coblesklll, N.Y. 
Capacity 
10 to 15 
Tons per 
Hour* < 
DOSS 
I B With BLOWER and Traveling 
■ ■ FEED TABLE 
SILO FILLING 
MACHINERY 
Made 
in 
to suit 
all wants 
from 5 to 
15 Horse 
Power Engine. 
Sold on their own merits. Pay 
for same after tried and satisfied. 
LARGEST CAPACITY AND STRONGEST BUILT 
Write for catalog. We have had 59 years 
experience and are the largest and oldest man¬ 
ufacturers of Ensilage Machinery in the world. 
THE E. W. ROSS CO., Box 13 Springfield, Ohio 
We also make ROSS SILOS and MANURE SPREA0ERS. 
• 
BEFORE YOU BUY WRITE FOR 
NEW CATALOG DESCRIBING THE 
GUARANTEED MONEY-SAVING 
strongest built, simplest to put up and easiest operate ! 
on tiie market. Adjustable automatic take-up hoop 
continuous open-door front—air-tight door am p 
manent ladder are some_of the unusual features. 
WAGON SENSE 
Don’t break your back and kill your 
horses with a high wheel wagon. 
For comfort’s sake get an 
Electric Handy Wagen u 
It will gave you time and money. A 
set of Electric Steel Wheels will 
make your old wagon new at small 
cost. Write for catalogue. It is free. 
ELECTRIC WHEEL CO., Box M.Quiaci.U. 
