©oo 
THE RURAL NEW-YORKER 
October 0. 1000 
HUMOROUS 
Under the busted motorcar, 
The maddened chauffeur lies; 
lie squints and searches near and far; 
And lifts and tugs and pries. 
“I’m hanged if I can tell, by gar! 
What ails the thing,” he cries. 
—Los Angeles Express. 
Pat : ‘‘An’ phwat the devil is a 
chafin’-dish?” Mike: ‘‘Whist! Ut’s a 
fryin’-pan that’s got into society.”— 
Boston Transcript. 
Minister: “I made seven hearts 
happy to-day.” Parishioner: “How 
was that?” Minister: “Married three 
couples.” Parishioner: “That only 
makes six.” Minister: “Well, you don’t 
think I did it for nothing?”—Credit 
Lost. 
Doctor: “Now, here is a very sim¬ 
ple remedy for this—er—this—er—re¬ 
curring thirst. Whenever you feel you 
want a whisky and soda, just eat an 
apple—eat an apple.” Patient: “But— 
er—fancy eating 50 or 60 apples a day!” 
—Punch. 
Dixon : “How did Hackwrite’s new 
play take in London ?” Hixon: “He 
informs me that it met with unheard 
of success.” Dixon: “Is that so?” 
Hixon: “Yes; after the first night it 
was never heard of again.”—N. Y. 
American. 
“How many boys has Pimpernell?” 
“Four.” “I thought he had two.” “He 
did have two yesterday. But early this 
morning they got into my garden and 
stole a green watermelon, and I’m pretty 
sure they have doubled up by this 
time.”—Cleveland Plain Dealer. 
“That man says he will create some 
real excitement if he gets into Con¬ 
gress.” “Yes,” answered Senator Sorg¬ 
hum, “he is one of those peculiar pat¬ 
riots who want to climb on board the 
ship of state simply for the pleasure of 
rocking the boat.”—Washington Star. 
The grocer’s boy was lumbering up 
tbc kitchen stairway with his arms full 
of packages. “Boy,” said the mistress 
of the house, somewhat sharply, “are 
your feet clean?” “Ycs’m,” he an¬ 
swered, still climbing the stairs: “It’s 
only me shoes that’s dirty.”—Credit Lost. 
Greatly interested in watching the 
men in her grandfather’s orchard put¬ 
ting bands of tar around the fruit trees, 
the little girl asked many questions. 
Some weeks later, she noticed a man 
with a mourning band around his left 
sleeve. “Mamma,” she asked, “what’s 
to keep them from crawling up his 
other arm?”—Credit Lost. 
Pat, on duty in the Philippines, was 
sent to the front for active service. 
Taken ill, he became extremely emaci¬ 
ated, and was finally ordered home. As 
he landed in New York he met an ac¬ 
quaintance who said: “Well, Pat, I see 
you’re back from the front.” “Faix,” 
said Pat, “is that so?” I knew I was 
thin, but I didn’t know I was as thin as 
that.”—Central Christian Advocate. 
When you write advertisers mention Tub 
I t. N.-Y. and you’ll get a quick reply and 
‘a square deal.” See guarantee page 10. 
SAVE HALF Your 
Paint Bills 
By using INGERSOLL PAINT—proved 
best by 66 years’ use. It will please you. 
• Only Paint endorsed by the “Grange.” 
Made in all colors,—for all purposes. 
DELIVERED FREE. 
From the Mill Direct to You at Factory Prices. 
INGERSOLL PAINT BOOK —FREE 
Tells all about Paint and Painting for Durability. 
How to avoid trouble and expense canned by paints 
fading, chalking and pooling. Valuable information 
freo to you. with Kara pic dolor Garda. Wrlto mo. DO 
IT NOW. I can save you monsy. 
0. W. Inyersoll, 246 Plymouth St., Brooklyn, N.Y. 
“BULLETIN No. 26” 
SENT FREE “HOWTO KEEP AWAY 
CHICKEN-LICE &. MITES,” by only 
ONE APPLICATION A YEAR 
Successfully used upward of 30 years 
Carbolineum Wood Preserving Co. 
351 W. Broadway, Now York, N.Y. 
Why search for the Pole? 
Mr. Dooley in his talk 
on the North Pole 
says: “ I aint an ar- 
tic explorer. All the 
polar observations I 
have iver took has 
been took at a p’int 
about a foot an’ a 
halffr’m a base burn- 
in’ stove on a winter’s 
night.” 
Now, that science has 
settled the fact that 
human beings can for 
a few frightful days 
endure 117 degrees below zero 
let us “turn our faces south” 
to broadest heating comfort— 
IDEAL Boilers and AMERICAN Radiators for Hot-Water, Low- 
Pressure Steam, or Vacuum heating will so comfort a house as to 
change it into a home. 
Let the building be small or great—old or new—farm or city— 
there’s but one way to heat and ventilate 
it in a healthful, cleanly, economical 
manner, and that is by the use of IDEAL 
Boilers and AMERICAN Radiators. 
These outfits have won their way to full 
leadership in every civilized country—from 
Iceland and Alaska to Chili and Cape Colony. 
Architect8and Engineers everywhere endorse 
and specify them. Their rock-bottom econo¬ 
mies make them the best paying investment 
feature of any building. Outfits put in now 
as easily as in Summer. Let us tell you the IDEAL Boilers have no 
IDEAL heating story which will save your parts to burn out, no rivets 
, , , . „ ,, . to loosen, no tlnn metals 
home from polar temperatures. Call, phone, to no rc ,, a j r Dills 
or write to-day for complete catalog (free), needed. 
Write Dept. 9 A merican R adiator C ompany CHICAGO 
Abenaque Water Supply Systems 
and 
Pumping Plants 
Are described in detail in our new Water 
Supply Catalogue. We can furnish outfits 
for all purposes. Submit us your Proposi¬ 
tion and let us submit Price on a suitable 
system. Engineering advice gladly given 
free of charge. Write for Catalogue “O.” 
Abenaque Machine Works West, ^ n r s monf tatlon * 
Boston Salesroom, 77 Oliver Street 
Genasco 
Ready Roofing 
Trinidad Lake asphalt is the backbone of 
Genasco. It is the greatest weather-resister 
known. It makes Genasco cost a little more, and 
makes it worth it because it lasts so long. 
When you don’t have leaks, damage, repairs, 
and renewals to pay for, you have real roof-econ¬ 
omy. 
Get Genasco—the worth while roofing for every building on the farm. Look 
for the hemisphere trade-mark, and you’ll get the roofing backed by a thirty-two- 
million-dollar guarantee. Mineral and smooth surface. Write for samples and 
the Good Roof Guide Book. 
| * 1 -; ; ' r I 
THE BARBER ASPHALT PAVING COMPANY 
Largest producers of asphalt and largest 
manufacturers of ready roofing in the world. 
PHILADELPHIA 
New York San Francisco 
Chicago 
1 cm 
ua lauv 
A No. 2-22 IDEAL Boiler and 400 
ft. of 38 -in. AMI*;RICAN Radi¬ 
ators, costing the owner $205, were 
used to I lot-Water heat this cot¬ 
tage, at whit h price the goods can 
be bought of any reputable, com¬ 
petent l itter. This did not include 
cost of labor, pipe, valves, freight, 
etc ., which installation is extra and 
varies affording to climatic and 
other conditions. 
This side of 
dotted lines 
82 V" 
■ IMS 9iud dot! 
Line 28° 
Steam Power 
For Farm Use 
Best because sure, cheap, safe, 
easily understood, works in all 
weathers. No coaxing or 
annoyance with a 
LEFFEL 
ENGINE 
It’s a willing servant. 
You are master. Always 
dependable. Styles and 
sizes for all uses. Book 
free. Send now. 
James Leffel & Co. 
Box 233, Springfield, O. 
HAVANA LOW WAGONS 
“Fun on 
have the right kind of tools to work with. 
And the right kind of tools makes work a 
|ilc:iHim',AOur Low-Down Handy Wagon, 
with steel or wood wheels, Is the right kind. 
You can have onr catalogue for the asking. •) 
HAVANA METAL WHEEL CO., Box 17, Havana. III. 
Evidence on EMPIRE Wheels 
Practicul, overy-duy use in the only real 
test of merit. The Empire muil-proof, 
1 wear-proof and test-proof wheels hnvo 
made good. The below unsolicited let¬ 
ter shows ono thing—Quality—that's 
r~A a. IIC 
|l Empire Idea 
nil thro*. Wo linvo hundred* moro: 
"(Jmitlomen: I havohad a not of your wheels 
in constant uao for 13 yoars. Thoy aro ai 
good ft b over now." (Narno on roquott ) 
Wo gain iiuccosn thro* oxcollonco. Ask for 
catalog. It tollii ftbout tho Kmpiro Wagon, too. 
Empire Mfg. Oo. Box 18D Quincy, III* 
HARVEY BOLSTER SPRINGS 
Soon nave their cost. Mak* *v«ry wagon a spring 
wagon, thonfwro fruit, rogotablcH, eggs, etc., 
bring moro money. Auk for special proposition. 
liarrej Bprlng Co. v 71G17th8t., Itucine, »U. 
Free Trial To You 
■ 
Is Your Cow 
Barn Like This? 
Let 
.9 tell 
you about the 
James Sanitary 
Self-Cleaning Mangers 
and Adjustable Stanchions. 
Greatest of all cow-stable improvements— 
going into cow stables everywhere. Wc help you es¬ 
tablish ideal conditions. Write for great free 40-pagc 
book showing up-to-date fixtures, modern barn plans, 
dairy barn views, etc. Fine big pictures that) tell and 
talk that convinces. Send today to 
Clean, light, safe, comfortable, 
every convenience. 
TIIE KENT MFG. CO., 
130 King St. Ft. Atkinson, Wis. 
COW COMFORT 
is assured to the cattle that live in 
the barn that is equipped with 
STAR 
f LITTER 
CARRIER 
Why In tho numo of 
all that Ik clean, Imsl- 
noHallke and.progres¬ 
sive you don t book 
up a Htar. Litter Car¬ 
rier In your barn lB 
boyond our compre¬ 
hension. Don't (taro 
If you have but 8 
cows, a Itorso and a Hilly Goat. They can appreciate 
a clean place to stay over night Just as well as a 
man. Milk Inspectors don’t care much about Hilly 
Goats and horses, but ono will he around someday 
to call on yon, and If you haven’t a sanitary barn or 
menns for musing It sanitary, there will be trouble. 
The Htar Litter Carrier 
QUICKLY PAYS FOR ITSELF 
The sooner yon put one In tbc sooner you will be¬ 
gin Having money. Write for our catalog No. 87 
which tells all about our Htar Litter, Feed uud M11U- 
Cau Carriers. 
SEND US A ROUGH SKETCH 
of your burn and wo will draw It to a scale and will 
tell you what Htylo of outllt you require and just 
what It will coHt. 
HUNT, HELM, FERRIS & CO. 
Mfrs. of Hurn equipments for 80 years, 
NO. 55 HUNT ST., HARVARD ILL 
