1120 
December 25, 1909, 
HUMOROUS 
I always fume and fuss and fret 
When strictly fresh are hit'll; 
1 fear the stornue omelet 
And dread the custard pie. 
Cleveland Plain Dealer. 
“Got a wireless message front my son 
in California yesterday.” “Clear from 
the Pacific Coast! Wonderful! Must 
have cost him a lot.” “Only a cent. Me 
used a postal.”—Philadelphia Ledger. 
Boakdkr: “Madam, did von put any-, 
tiling deleterious in this pie?” Boarding 
Mouse Mistress (with dignity)—“Cer¬ 
tainly, Mr. Fussy. I always’do use it in 
my pies.”—Baltimore American. 
Mrs. Brooke: “Have you any faith 
in life insurance?” Mrs. Lynne: “Yes, 
indeed ; I’ve realized one hundred thou¬ 
sand dollars from two husbands, and 
they were’nt very good ones, cither.”— 
Judge. 
“Yes,” said the young doctor to his 
wife, “J felt greatly worried until the 
climax was passed.” “Will lie be out 
soon?” “Well,” said the young doctor, 
“not until the day of the funeral.”—Til- 
Bits. 
He had managed to accumulate a lot 
of money by more or less questionable 
methods. “I should like to do some¬ 
thing for the benefit of the town,” he 
said. “Well,” suggested the poor but 
otherwise honest citizen, “you might 
move out of it.”—Chicago Daily News. 
A young girl of fourteen was taking 
a trip on Lake Michigan in a small 
steamer. The lake was somewhat rough 
and many were seasick. The girl sat in i 
the bow and was unusually quiet for her. 
“Are you feeling sick, daughter?” in- - 
quired her father. “No, I don’t think 
I am sick; but I should hate to yawn.” 
—Life. 
“Little boy,” asks the well-meaning 
reformer, “is that your mamma over 
yonder with the beautiful set of furs?” 
“Yes. sir,” answers the bright lad. “Well, 
do you know what poor animal it is 
that has had to suffer in order that j 
your mamma might have the furs with 
which she adorns herself so proudly?” 
“Yes, sir. My papa.”—Chicago Evening 
Post. 
(iconic Trotter: “By the way, Mrs. de 
Hauton, l have not seen your charm¬ 
ing daughter since my return. When I 
went away she had determined to sub¬ 
mit her first novel to the ‘Honeymoon 
Magazine.’ Has she been successful in 
her literary aspirations?” Mrs. de Han- | 
ton: “Perfectly. She married the edi¬ 
tor.’—Credit Lost. 
Conductor: “Just my luck. Jack pulled 1 
out ahead of me with four pairs of 
spectacles aboard, and I haven’t got one.” 
Passenger: “Wlhat do you want specta¬ 
cled pasengers for? Arc they lucky?” 
Conductor: “Don’t know anything about 
that, hut I’ve got three bad shillings to. 
work off this trip, and it’s only near- ^ 
sighted people that is taking ’em now¬ 
adays.”—Tit Bits. 
Cr.ANCY —“Oi’m after a ticket ter Chi¬ 
cago.” Ticket Agent—“Do you want an 
excursion ticket? One that will take 
you there and back?” Clancy—“Phwat’s 
the sinse of me payin’ ter go there an’ 
hack whin O’im here alriddy?”—Hotel 
Register. 
When you write ndvortlHorK mention The 
11. N.-Y. and you’ll get a cjulck reply and 
“a square deni.” See guarantee page 10. 
Wl 1Y USE A TEN YEAR NAIL FOR 
LAYING THIRTY YEAR SHINGLE? 
Send postal for samples, 
prices and particulars of the 
“M. I. F. GO. ZINC COATED” 
BRAND OF IRON CUT NAILS. 
They will last a lifetime. 
MALLEABLE IRON FITTINGS CO., 
Branford, Conn. 
THE KUKAIi. NEW-YORKER 
H 
ON jr $9115 
For My t |,h Quality, Guaranteed 
4 2 l H. Fijasoline Engine 
an | No Power Troubles 
T AM making a specialty of a A\ H. P. gasoline 
^ engine which is best suited for pumping water, 
grinding feed, sawing wood, 
shelling corn, operating 
cream separators, churn¬ 
ing and for general 
farm work. 
The 
Sensation 
of tho 
Season is the 
Caldwell 
Special Gasoline 
Engine 
I chnllonpro the world to produce an engine of equal 
merit to my Caldwell Special that can be bought for 
the price I offer you my engine. Give me a chance and I 
will prove to your aatinfaction that, the Caldwell 
Special in the engine for you to buy, because 1 can give 
you better value for your money than any one clue. I Hell 
my engine direct from factory and can save you tho 
dealers’, jobber’s and catalogue house profit. I f thin money 
ia as good to you as to the other fellow, write me and I will 
prove to you allthntl say. % 
All I ask is for you to take the engine, try it free for 
sixty days on your own farm and if you are not fully satis¬ 
fied with the engine and convinced that I have saved you 
money, return the engine to me and I will pay freight 
charges both wayB and it will not cost you one single cent 
to secure tho proof I offer. 
1 have satisfied and saved money for thousands of 
purchasers and know that 1 can satisfy and save you from 
$25 to $100 on the price of your engine. 
All my engines are well built, finely finished and guar¬ 
anteed against defective muterial for five years. My 
engine is so simple that you would not fiave the least diffi¬ 
culty in starting and successfully operating it at all times. 
I mean just exactly what I say and will put my engine up 
against any engine in the world. 
If you are going to buy an engine 1 want to ask you to 
write for my free catalogue; compare my engine with any 
or all engines you know of. then put my prices along side 
those of others and see for yourself whut I can save you. 
Wrila 
i m 
m 
J. D. Caldwell, Pres. 
The Caldwell-Hallowell 
Mfg. Co. 
5ll Commercial 
. Waterloo, Iowa. 
w 
St. 
GALLOWAY 
S AVK from $50 to $300 by buying your gasoline engine of 2 to22-horsc-power 
a real engine factory. Save: dealer, jobber and catalogue house profit. No such 
as I make on the class of engine I sell has ever been made before in all Gasoline 1*. 
history. Here Is the secret and reason : I turn them out all alike by the thousands in 
enormous modern factory, equipped with nutornntic machinery. I sell them direct to 
for less money than some factories can make them at Actual shop cost. 
All you pay me for is a< tual raw material, labor and one small profit (and I buy my 
material in enormous quantities). 
Anybody can afford and might Just as well have a high grade engine when he 
can get in on a wholesale deal of this kind. I’m doing something that never was 
done before. Think of it 1 A price to you that is lower than dealers and 
Jobbers can buy similar engine;'* lor, In carload lots, for spot cash. 
An engine that Is made so good in the fac tory that I will send 
ft out anywhere in ihe U. S. without an expert to any Inexperienced ** ' 
users, on todays* free trial, to test against any engine made of 
similar horse-power that sells for twice as much, and let him 
be the judge. Sell your poorest horse and buy a 
saves you 
$50 to $300 
r from | I 
oiler I f 
"Bine \ f 
n my \ \ 
o you \ J, 
4? 
4;V'X-' 
5-H.-P. Only $119.50 
I jtAllbWAVl 
GASOLINE 
ENGINE 
Write today for my beautiful new 510-page Hnglne Hook in four 
colors, nothing like it ever printed before, full of valuable information, 
allowing how I make them and how you can make more money with a 
gasoline engine on the farm. Write me— 
Vim. Galloway, Proa., Wm. Galloway Go. 
GOB Galloway Station, Wat or loo, Iowa 
Let Me Start You in Business 1 
I will fumlxli tho capital and t.lio ndvcrtlidng. I want 
ono sincere, earnout man In every town and township. 
Farmers, MoohanloH, Builders. Small business man, any¬ 
one anxious to improve IiIm condition. AddrcKH 
‘'COMMERCIAL DEMOCRACY,” Dept. I>..'!/>, Elyria, Ohio 
2 54 PAGE CATALOG FREE 
TELLING HOW TO SAW LUMBER, SHINGLES, 
wood: grind corn and wheat; also descrip 
ING FULL LINE or ENGINES, BORERS, GASOLINE 
ENGINES, WATER-WHEELS AN D M ILL GEARING. 
DEI.0ACH Mill MANUFACTURING CO B... fTT) Bniigsporl AUtum, 
Wo have a size to suit your power and rcqulr 'meats. Get ono 
of those guaranteed outfits 
now. Lumber Is high. The 
mill will soon pay for It¬ 
self. No experience needed. 
No Bolts, Springs or compli¬ 
cated parts to got out of 
SAW 
MILL 
1 Hope 
order or cause trouble. 
Tho Bawerhas complete 
control of Variable Fric¬ 
tion Kocdwith one hand; slight motion of leverchanges 
speed. Other time and labor saving devices enable 
this mill to saw more lumber with less power unit 
less help than any other. Free Mill Book explains 
and lists our complete line of wood working machin¬ 
ery. Write for it today. _ 
AMERICAN SAW MILL MACHINERY CO. 
St.. Hackcttstown. N. J. 1582 Terminal Bldgs.. Now York 
You can always make a steam engine po. 
fh No’tinkering and fussing wd 
something you do not un 
stand with a 
LEFFEL 
ENGINE 
Dependable, safe, 
economical. More 
power than you 
need. Engines In 
styles and sizes 
for all needs. 
—Ml JTh * ffll Write for free book 
g . ' Iji-J' 1 - today. 
JAMES LEFFEL & CO.. BOX 233, SPRINGFIELD. OHIO 
s and 
saline 
Engines 
Frost Proof 
[and Hopper 
Cooled 
I Ilatluerj are mur- 
I veil of simplicity, 
I providing the high- _ 
] eit efficiency, greatest power, close,t economy In 
J fuel consumption, Susy starting, nmoolheil run- 
I ning, perfectly batanced.alwnyadependable. Made 
in all types and nixes, also saw riga and pumping 
I planta. Write today for Interesting engine book 
and extraordinary Free Trial Proposition. We | 
| let the Badger prove Itaelf to You . 1015 30th St. 
CHRISTENSEN ENGINEERING CO., MILWAUKEE. WIS. 
St ickney Gasoline Engi nes 
ARE THE BEST 
WhyT Because of the outside ignitor, 
modern open cooling system, straight- 
line valve motion and ball-bearing gov- 
$rnor. Thouwandii in succnMitful op¬ 
eration bocauN* of our yoar* 
of experience In building tho boat. 
Seven «i7.e»: \ % to 1 tt It. I*. 
Send for our Free Catalog and 
our Catochlini tolling fifty-woven 
rmiwona why Stlcknoy En¬ 
gine* aro tho Boot . 
Agouti cverywhero well them. 
Charles A.Stickney Company 
MAIN OFFICE & FACTORY ST. PAUL. MINN. 
Unlimited Wealth May Be Yours 
n below the sarfneo of 
tliu ground la dopoaltH 
of coal, oil, gas, ores 
or metals. The surest 
and most economical 
waytodetennlnewhat 
the ground contains 
Is l>y means of the 
“American” 
Coring Machine 
which will remove a 
- core of any size, any 
-VstoK* depth, thru any kind of shale or rock 
formation cheaper than by any other 
method. Our new catalog describes every method 
of well sinking and mineral prospecting— FlttlE. 
The American Well Works, om™ a w.rk., Aurora, III. 
First Nat. Bank Bldg., Chicago. 
Ohas. B. Corwin,(Export) 12-26 Whitehall St.,N.Y. 
Get Galioway’s 
Biggest and Best 
BOOK 
MONTftOSB METAL SHINGLES 
IteMlHl wear. Beat reeling Mold. Miele ever 20 
years. IiioxpoiiMlvo. Fireproof, Ornamental. 
Catalogue. ftlonlroN, Company, Camden, ,\. .1 
You can buy a 
Hertzlor A Zook Wood Saw for $10. 
lly Hawing wood for fuel and lumber for build¬ 
ing purposes, lor your neighbors, you can bulbil 
UP a profitable business, earning $10 u day. A| 
HERTZLER & ZOOK 
WOOD SAW 
Is the cheapest and boat mbw you I 
cun buy. It Im tumy tooperuto, I 
been use the Mtlok mI Im low n ml the I 
niiw helps lofiniw 1L In us soon us I 
> ou tm i work* It 1 if ho only aaw I 
umde, mcIIIiijc for |10. to which [ 
n ripping tunlo cuu Im lidded. I 
Guiiruntced for one year. Hend J 
‘ particulars. 
to-dny for clrou 
IIKltTZLKU X ZOOK <?0.,ISox S, 
Belli rill* I*»A. 
S AW your own 
wood 
and save 
time, coal and 
money; or saw 
your neighbors* 
wood and 
MAKE 
$5 TO $15 
A DAY 
Hundreds are doing it with an Appleton Wood Saw, 
Why not yuuf We make #1* styles—steel or wooden 
frames—and if desired will mount the saw frame on 
a substantial 4-whcel truck on which you can also 
mount your gasoline engine and thus have a 
PORTABLE WOOD SAWING RIG 
that Is unequalled in effective work and profitable 
operation. 
We make the celebrated Hero Friction feed Drag 
Saw also, and complete lines of leed grinders, corn 
shelters, corn buskers, fodder cutters, manure spread¬ 
ers. horse powers, windmills, etc. Ask (or our Free 
Catalogue. 
Appleton Mfg. Co. ZLlSiJ'iX 
