I 
1000 
THE RURAL NEW-YORKER 
December 26, 1908. 
HUMOROUS 
Hair Dresser (while giving lady a 
vigorous shampoo) : “Will you have 
anything on your head when I have fin¬ 
ished, madam?” Madam: “I’m sure I 
don’t know. I was in hopes you would 
leave enough hair to pin my hat to."— 
Judge. 
Overheated Policeman (to medical 
gentleman who has been called to a 
bathing accident) : “Sorry you’ve had 
the trouble of coming for nothing, sir. 
We tried artificial perspiration on the 
poor fellow, and he’s all right now.”— 
Punch. 
Tramp: “Say, boss, can ver tell a 
feller where lie kin get fifteen cents fer 
a bed?” Old gentleman (dealer 'in 
second-hand furniture) : “Certainly, 
my good man. Bring the bed to me, 
and if it is worth fifteen cents, I’ll 
buy it.”—Judge. 
Temperance Lecturer: “Did you 
write this notice of my lecture on the 
Demon Rum?” Editor: “Yes, madam.” 
Temperance Lecturer: “Then I would 
like to know what you mean by saying, 
‘The lecturer was evidently full of her 
subject.’ ?”—Judge. 
Jones : “Did you deliver my message 
to Mr. Smith?” Johnny: “No, sir. His 
office was locked.” Jones: “Well, why 
didn’t you wait for him, as I told you.” 
Johnny: “There was a note on the door 
saying, ‘Return at once,’ so I came 
back.”—Philadelphia Inquirer. 
“What will we do when the trees are 
destroyed?” asked the forestry experts. 
“I suppose,” answered the serenely sol¬ 
emn statesman after some thought, “that 
in such an event we will be obliged to 
depend for wood entirely on the lum¬ 
ber yards.”—Washington Star. 
“Dear,” whispered the eloping lover, 
“what shall we do with the rope lad¬ 
der? We shouldn’t leave it hanging 
there.” “Oh, that’s all right,” replied 
the coy damsel. “Pa said he’d pull it 
up again so we couldn’t get back.”— 
Catholic Standard and Times. 
Tourist: “Where’s the bulldog I sold 
you the other day, Mick?” Mick: 
“Oh, the poor baste swallowed a tape 
measure and he died, sor!” Tourist 
(waggishly): “He died by inches, eh?” 
Mick: “No, sorr! He went round the 
back of the house and died by the 
yard.”—London Opinion. 
Nervous Passenger (on lake steam¬ 
er) : “It must be terrible to think of an 
accident hapening to the boat while 
you are away down there in that hole.” 
Stoker: “It’s jist the other way, ma’am. 
If the boat sinks I won’t have to go 
through mor’n about half as much 
water as you will ’fore I git to the 
bottom of the lake.”—Chicago Tribune. 
When you write advertisers mention The 
R. N.-Y. and you’ll get a quick reply and 
“a square deal.” See guarantee, page 8. 
Cash Paid for 
Raw Furs 
As New York is the best 
fur market in America, 
we can and do pay high- 
estcasli prices for hides of 
Skunks, Minks, ’Coons, 
Muskrats, Opposums, 
Foxes, Badgers. Wolves, 
Beavers, Otter, and all fur-bearing animals. We pay 
express charges. 53^“'Write for price list. (illlCCklh 
We also pay best prices for III HO Ell U 
BELT. BUTLER CO. I4S Greene St. New York 
IT CUTS ICE FASTER 
than 50 men. Farmers.dairymen,butchers 
hotels and cutters generally will find a 
Red, White and Blue Ice Plow 
will work quicker, better and 
easier than 50 men < 
■with saws. They 
are superior in 
quality; and are 
strong, keen, fast 
cutters; 4 sizes—cut 
Cata- 
, log of 
plows and 
_J1 kinds of 
ice tools free. 
Send for it now. 
7^, 9, 10*2 and 12 in. deep. Have patent clearing 
tooth, swing guide on 7L and 9 in. Save cost first 
season. Ames Plow Co., Dept. 54 Boston, Mass. 
THE “HARRIS” 
Improved Steel Chain Hanging 
|STANCHION 
\1' (Patented) 
!/| Strongest—most humane and 
l/li neatest appearing. Made of 
'fiJIl T Steel—wood lined. 
V Our FREE Booklet “Cow 
Comfort” mailed on request. 
Get our price and description 
of sanitary pipe stalls. 
THE HARRIS MFG. COMPANY, 
Box 552, Salem. Ohio. 
Get This Low Priced 
New Holland 
Feed Mill 
On 10 Days Free Trial 
YV 
work 
time- 
W 
ity i: 
lowe 
Tl 
are 
us f 
sect: 
T] 
E want you to prove, at our risk, that 
the New Holland is the Mill you want 
—the grinder that will do the most 
•the best work in the least 
® l least trouble and power, 
a just as sure that the qual- 
as we are that the price is 
Q 
ads of New Holland Mills 
a ; satisfaction today. Ask 
~ 3 names of users in your 
you doubt it. 
M p^re made in different styles 
and cn ^to suit the 
neec ^ £ {very, man who 
feed oo J-. ;k. Adaptable 
to all kinds of power. 
Furnished with or with¬ 
out elevator and bagger. 
Crack your grain, 
granulate it or grind it 
fine. Make the finest - - — 
corn and cob meal possible, mix all 
kinds of grain, or grind excellent 
table meal. It’s all the same to a 
New Holland. Just turn a screw to 
adjust the plates. 
The New Hollands are made from, 
start to finish in our own plant. 
We know that they are not only 
VALUABLE BOOK 
FREE 
“The Right Way TO 
Feed Grain” 
Tells why it pays to grind grain, 
wliat percentage of whole grain is 
wasted, advantages of cob meal, 
etc. Opinions of experts. Send 
name and address today, so we 
can mall you a copy. 
different from others, and better, in 
principle—but they are made better, 
of better materials. 
That is why we can afford to 
guarantee them and put them out on 
trial. , 
GoodDealers sell the New Holland 
Mills because they satisfy and make 
friends. They guarantee them and 
— give free trials, for 
we stand back of them 
every time. They sell 
New Holland Gasoline 
Engines, too, just suited 
to run the mills and 
other farm machinery. 
If your dealer doesn’t 
_ keep the New Holland 
Line, we will supply you direct from 
the factory, or from our Western 
Branch to save time and freight; don’t 
pay more for a mill not so good. 
Write U* Today for complete cata¬ 
logue, prices and the valuable book, 
“The Right Way To Feed Grain.” 
FREE to you for the asking. Address 
NEW HOLLAND MACHINE CO., Box 13, NEW HOLLAND, PA. 
Why Drive to Market Yourself 
when you can’t afford to leave your work on the farm ? With a rural 
telephone you can talk to town at any time, making it possible for 
a boy to go and attend to the details, leaving your time free for 
other work. . 
The telephone also enables you to take advantage of fluctuations in 
the market and sell your products at best prices. Hut good telephone 
service depends first upon the quality ol tire apparatus installed- and 
without good transmission qualities a telephone system is worthless. 
ELECTRIC RURAL TELEPHONES 
have highest efficiency and reliability with lowest maintenance cost. Our apparatus has high transmission 
qualities over long as well as short lines and is used by the leading telephone companies of this country. 
We have brought the rural telephone within the reach of every farmer, and with our Free 
Bnlletlna before him a boy can install and operate the system. Our telephones are guaranteed. 
Cut out this advertisement, write your name and address on the margin and mail it to-day so that the 
Free Bulletins, which describe the entire plan in detail, may be sent you immediately. 
TE B Li 
Eastern 
New York 
Philadelphia 
Boston 
Pittsburg 
Atlanta 
COMRANV 
Central Western 
Saint Louis 
Kansas City 
Denver 
Dallas 
Omaha 
Northern Electric and Mfg. Co.. Ltd., Montreal and Winnipeg 
Address Our Nearest House 
Chicago 
Indianapolis 
Cincinnati 
Minneapolis 
Pacific 
San Francisco 
Los Angeles 
Seattle 
Salt Lake City 
A New Horse Collar 
A 20th century invention. A collar that won’t 
gall the neck or cause sore shoulders is a 
money saver to the farmer. It means more 
work from your horses—less hay and grain 
for feed—saving of time, and when it proves 
in addition so much more durable as this 
Hameless Horse Collar 
does, it is certainly the collar to buy. Try this 
ideal collar and you’ll never use any other. 
The face is smooth as glass—won’t permit 
sweat to scald and produce sore necks or 
shoulders. Can be adjusted in width or 
length-the draft can be moved up or down. No 
hames, sweat pads or straps to bother with. 
Never wears out. Cheapest and best* Ask 
your dealer; if he does not keep them send 
us his name and learn how to end your collar 
troubles. Agents wanted. 
Johnston-Stocum Co*/ 
288 State St., Caro, Mich. 
PORTABLE SAW MILLS 
Made in seven sizes. Variable Friction or 
straight belt feed with rack and pinion, or 
cable attachments. Celebrated Farqubar 
Chain Set-Works absolutely accurate ahd 
quick receding. Built strong and durable. 
Don’t bny any other until you investigate 
the merits of the “Farqubar.” Gu&r- 
_ ant eed in every respect. 
Our new 68-page catalog ex¬ 
plains in detail all our Saw 
Mills, Engine*. Hollers and 
Threshers. We’ll mall you 
a copy free upon request. 
A.B.F«»t)Um>«C 0 .. ITS., YORK. PR. 
We have a 
ySAMT 
mu 
Let Us Quote Y ou 
Reduced 
Factory 
Prices on 
Quaker City Mills 
* The standard for 40 years and better than I 
ever this year—but the price to you, the J 
user, is much lower. We’ve cut out jobbers’, 
dealers’ and all middlemen’s profits. Get 
the mill you want direct from factory 
On Free Trial KS"“ 
We want you to convince yourself at our 
risk that the Quaker City Mill grinds fastest, 
does the best work with least power and 
least trouble on your part. Ear corn, 
shelled corn, all grains, separate or mixed, 
coarse, medium or the finest table meal— 
try the Quaker on all of these. Grinds soft 
and wet corn just as well as dry corn. 
11 Sizes—22 Styles—From Hand Power to 
20-Horse Power to Choose From 
Send No Money 
Our Free Trial is free! Just try the mill. 
That’s all we ask. Make no deposit, 
either. And We Pay The Freight. We take 
all the risk. Write Today for Book, prices 
and guaranty. One of our mills will just 
meet your needs and fit your poc.se ook. 
Specify Feed Mill Catalogue. 
A.G. STRAUB CO 
3737 Filbert St. Phlladelpi Fa. 
i 
1 
ii 
A 
With Dumping Caldron. Empties 
its kettlein one minute. The simplest 
and best arrangement for '•ooking 
food for stock. AlBomakeDa ry and 
Laundry Stoves, Wat r and 
Steam Jacket Kettles, Hog 
Scalders, Caldrons.etc.,^W"Send 
for particulars and ask for circular J. 
D. R. SPERRY <fc CO., Batavia, Ill. 
Choose Steal 
for your power and never be disap¬ 
pointed. Best because certain, easily 
understood, safe, economical, 
Leflfel 
Steam 
Engines 
are “the old reliables.” 
They serve everywhere— 
many places where new 
style powers are failures. 
Investigate before buying. 
Write for free book today. 
JAMES LEFFEL & CO.. Box 219 , Springfield, Ohio 
' R ° d N ROOFINQ 
steel & SIDING 
EXCELL 
vwy 
Direct To You from our owl factory 
at lowest factory prices. We are man¬ 
ufacturers and handle no 2nd hand 
nor short length stuff. Every part of 
our roofing and siding is made in our 
factory from genuine Charco?! Iron, 
Double Refined Puddled Iron, r Steel. 
Put on the kind of root that wears. 
Ours is guaranteed. Ifitisn’ttl e best 
you can buy anywhere, don’t , ay tor 
ft. fiaeytolay. No experience seedso* Toll 
us About your building and let ub r.- of® you 
faotory prices. Write for Metal Good* Cata¬ 
log. It is free. 
THE UNITED FACTORIES CO. 
Dept. No. 31 R t Cleveland, Ohi • 
De L O A C H 
3 ’A to200H.P. 
F/wrnrnna 
STEAM, GASOLINE AND WATER POWER 
PLANERS, SHINGLE MILLS & CORN MILLS 
WE PAY THE FREIGHT 
Sf/VO FOR CATALOGUE 
DELOACH MILL MFG. CO., BOX 302, BRIDGEPORT, ALA. 
size to suit your power and requirements. Get one 
of these guaranteed outfits 
now. Lumber is high. The 
mill will soon pay for it¬ 
self. No experience needed.. 
No Belts, Springs or compli¬ 
cated parts to get out of 
order or cause trouble. 
The sawer has complete 
control of Variable Fric¬ 
tion Feedwith one hand; slight motion of lever changes 
speed. Other time and labor saving devices enable 
this mill to saw more lumber with less power and 
less help than any other. Free Mill Book explains 
and lists our complete line of wood working machm- 
Cry ' AMERICAN SAWMILL MACHINERY CO. 
Hope St., Hackettstown, N. J. 1582 Terminal Bldgs., New York 
S AW your own 
wood 
and save 
time, coal and 
money; or saw 
your neighbors’ 
wood and 
MAKE 
$5 TO $15 
A DAY 
Hundreds are doing it with an Appleton Wood Saw. 
Why not youf We make six styles—steel or wooden 
frames—and if desired will mount the saw frame on 
a substantial 4-whccl truck on which you can also 
mount your gasoline engine and thus have a 
PORTABLE WOOD SAWING RIG 
that is unequalled in effective work and profitable 
operation. 
We make the celebrated Hero Friction Feed Drag 
Saw also, and complete lines of feel grinders, corn 
shelters, corn buskers, fodder cutters, manure spread¬ 
ers, horse powers, windmills, etc. Ask for our Free 
Catalogue. 
Appleton Mfg. Co. 
BalaviaJll.U.S.A; 
I 
