468 
THE RURAL NEW-YORKER 
May 23, 1908, 
HUMOROUS 
She: “Do you believe that money 
talks?’’ He: “I believe it would if peo¬ 
ple would only stop shutting it up.”— 
Yonkers Statesman. 
“Miss Esmeralda, do you ever think 
of marrying?” “Often and deeply, Mr. 
Chuckster. I suppose that’s why I don’t 
marry.”—Chicago Tribune. 
“You were born in Georgia?” “Yes, 
sub; dat what dey tells me.” “And raisec 
there?” “Well, suh, dey tried ter raise 
me once, but de rope broke.”—Atlanta 
Constitution. 
Lawyer (to applicant for position: 
“Yes, I need an office boy. Are you 
truthful? Boy: “Yes, sir, but I ain’t 
truthful enough to hurt your business.” 
—Chicago News. 
“You should learn to live with an eye 
to the future.” “The future is what has 
been straining my eyes for years,” an¬ 
swered the worried-looking man. “I have 
stock in seven or eight undeveloped gold 
mines.”—Washington Star. 
He, panting as he pushes her over 
the fence: “Well, darling, you made a 
good shot with that red hat of yours.” 
She, also panting: “What do you 
mean?” He, grimly: “It hit the bull’s 
•eye all right.”—Baltimore American. 
Mamma: “Good gracious, Georgie! 
What is the matter with Freddie Jones? 
Is the child having a fit?” Georgie: “No, 
mamma. You know Freddie stutters, 
and we bet he couldn’t say ‘altitudinos- 
ity’ before Bobbie ran twice around the 
block.”—Puck. 
Gentleman: “But I am afraid he 
wouldn’t make a good watch-dog.” Man 
(with bull terrier) : ‘“Not a good watch¬ 
dog! Why, lor’ bless your ’art, it was 
only last week that this wery animal 
held a burglar down by the throat and 
beat his brains out with his tail.”—Mel¬ 
bourne Leader. 
“Physical culture, father, is perfectly 
lovely. To develop the arms I grasp 
this rod by one end and move it slowly 
from right to left.” “Well, well,” ex¬ 
claimed her father, “what won’t science 
discover? If that rod had straw at the 
other end you’d be sweeping.”—Louis¬ 
ville Courier Journal. 
The youth who was smoking a cigar¬ 
ette near the monkey’s cage took an¬ 
other one from his pocket. “Would it 
do any harm,” he asked, “if I should 
offer him one of these?” “Not a bit,” 
responded the attendant. “He wouldn’t 
touch it. A monkev i T n’t half as big a 
fool as it looks.”—Chicago Tribune. 
“I bought this walking-stick of you 
last week,” said a fussy old gentleman. 
“Yes,” agreed the dealer, “that is so. I 
recognize it.” “You assured me that the 
handle was real ivory, and I find it is 
only imitation.” “Very sorry, sir, but I 
get my ivory direct from Ceylon, and the 
only explanation seems to me that the 
elephants must wear false tusks.”—Mel¬ 
bourne Leader. 
When you write advertisers mention The 
R. N.-Y. and you’ll get a quick reply and 
“a square deal.” See guarantee page 10. 
TEAS & COFFEES 
f/ O E5& I ET NO GOODS 
S 2 i I Vv Cl AT RETAIL. 
FINEST TEAS from 19c. to to 37c. a lb. 
FINEST COFFEES from 11c. to 26c. alb. 
The supplying of Farmers, Granges, Institutions, 
Clergymen and large Consumers a Specialty. 
CONSUMERS IMPORTING TEA CO.. 
P. O. Box 290. 66 Church Street, New York. 
SAVE HALF Your 
Paint Bills 
By using INGERSOLL PAINT — proved 
best by 66 years’ use. It will please you. 
Only Paint endorsed by the “Grange.” ' 
Made in all colors,—for all purposes. 
DELIVERED FREE. 
From the Mill Direct to You at Factory Prices. 
INGERSOLL PAINT BOOK —FREE 
Tells all about Paint and Painting for Durability. 
How to avoid trouble and expense caused by paints 
fading, chalking and peeling. Valuable information 
free to you. with Sample Color Cards, Write me. DO 
IT NOW. I can save you money. 
0. W. Ingersoll, 246 Plymouth St., Brooklyn, N. Y. 
TV /T OST of the roofing manufac- 
■*■*•*■ turers supply some simple sort 
of a circular or pamphlet with 
samples of their roofing. 
The makers of Amatite Roofing 
have gone into the matter more deeply. 
Their Booklet entitled'" Amatite” is a 
very handsome and interesting piece of 
printing. 
It covers the whole roofing 
subject thoroughly. 
The Ready Roofing propo¬ 
sition is explained at length, 
and the whole history of these 
roofings is given in detail, 
showing the steady progress 
that has been made. As this 
Company is the oldest and larg¬ 
est concern in the field, the 
history is accurate. This Com¬ 
pany has been in the roofing 
business for over half a century. 
Many of the improvements 
in ready roofings made from 
time to time have been its in¬ 
ventions,andthelatest improve¬ 
ment, and in many respects the 
most important, is offered to the 
public in Amatite Roofing. 
This material, as explained in the 
Booklet, has a surface of real mineral 
matter —Amatite—to take the brunt of 
the weather. It does not need paint¬ 
ing. The kind of roofs that need 
painting are out of date. 
The paint and labor of putting it on 
cost more than an Amatite Roof. 
Amatite Roofing, once laid, requires 
no attention whatever. Its mineral 
surface does not require painting any 
more than a stone wall does. 
The Amatite Booklet also explains 
the value of the Pitch in Amatite Roof¬ 
ing. Pitch is the greatest waterproof¬ 
ing agent ever discovered. 
Water does not affect it in 
anyway. An unbroken lining 
of pitch furnishes complete and 
permanent protection, which 
can only leak by being actual¬ 
ly punctured, and such a lin¬ 
ing sheet is just what Amatite 
provides. 
It is impossible to give the 
explanation in detail here, but 
if you will send for the Book¬ 
let, which is free, you will find 
the arguments in full. 
With the Booklet the manu¬ 
facturers send a free Sample 
of Amatite, in order to show 
just what the mineral surface 
is like. 
A postal card addressed to 
the nearest office of the Com¬ 
pany will bring the Booklet and the 
Sample to you by mail. Every pro¬ 
gressive farmer should have it. 
Barrett Manufacturing Co., 
New York, Chicago, Philadelphia, St. 
Louis, Cleveland, Allegheny, Cincin¬ 
nati, Kansas City, Minneapolis, New 
Orleans, Boston, London. 
AMATITE ON ROOF OF EAST MACHIAS LUMBER CO., EAST MACHIAS, ME. 
absolutely last forever. Being solid rock, they are spark 
and fire-proof. Reduce your insurance rate. Afford pure 
cistern water. Don’t require frequent painting and coat¬ 
ing like metal and composition roofing. Not affected by 
heat or cold. Suitable for all buildings, new or old. 
First cost— only a trifle more than shore lived roofings. 
Let us settle your roofing question for all time. Don’t 
spend more good money for poor roofing, f WRITE TO 
US AT ONCE for our free book “ ROOFS.” It will save 
you money. Give us the name of your local roofer. 
THE AMERICAN SEA GREEN SLATE CO. Box 10, Granville, N. Y. 
THAT NEVER 
WEAR OUT 
$ 49.75 
BUY A NEW YORK STATE WAGON 
DIRECT FROM FACTORY 
If you want the best made at the lowest pos¬ 
sible price. We build wagons for service— 
not merely to sell. We are the only N. Y. 
State factory selling direct to user, saving 
one-third of the cost for you. 
Send for One on Approval. 
Sate delivery guaranteed—no deposit or re¬ 
ferences required. Our wagon can sell it- 
sell or there will be no sale. Write today 
for catalog of 100 styles and Wholesale Price 
List. 
Handy WagomRemovable seats, 
drop end gate strong and dur¬ 
able. Can’t be duplicated any¬ 
where. 
A No. X Runabout: spindle seat 
easy riding, will last for man] 
years. It defies competition. 
Rochester Vehicle Company, 362 Main St., Rochester, N. Y. 
THE PAPEG 
PNEUMATIC 
Ensilage Gutter 
will prepare you a better silage and fill your 
silo in less time, with less power and with less 
trouble to you than any other blower ensilage 
cutter made. 
It is the most convenient and the easiest to 
operate. It never clogs, never gets out of 
order, never disappoints. We guarantee every 
machine to be perfect and to do the work 
claimed for it. 
If you need an ensilage cutter you need a 
Papec. Send for catalog giving full particulars. 
Papec Machine Co., Box 10, Lima, N. Y. 
BLIZZARD K 
with wind elevator, either mounted 
lor unmounted. Cuts hay, straw, feed, 
letc. Elevates to any height. Strong. 
) durable, economical. Fully guaran¬ 
teed. Send for new illustrated 
catalogue FREE 
I- 
JOSEPH DICK 
AGRICULTURAL WORKS 
Box 69, Canton, 0. 
Stickney Gasoline Engines 
ARE 
theT best 
bccauskYof its ocsign] 
OF, IGNITER,* COOLING SV* 
TCM, VALVE "MOTION. GOV- 
ERNOR.^TMK^ QUALITY OF 
ITS MATERIAL ANO ^THl 
!? 
A C C U R ACyJfo I^JVt s _ 
mansmirT 
WORK.; 
because v orT its st 'rea? 
^ SONS WHICH7ARB TOLO IN 
OU" >>REE£CATALOGi ANo] 
“ ^catechism! 
r STATIONARYrPORTABLE WOOD SAWING OUTFITS 
SEND^TODAV FOR FREE CATALOG, 
CMS. A. STICKNEY CO, ^Batieqma^^ 
KEEP THE BOYS 
ON THE FARM. 
One of our Gasoline Engines 
in a small power house will keep the 
boys interested and do away with the 
drudgery that all boys hate. Any boy 
can operate our engines, they are so 
simple, and easy to start. 
Send for Catalog. 
First engine in county at agents’ price. 
THE MAXWELL & FITCH CO. 
ROME, N. Y. 
Steel Wheels 
WITH GROOVED TIRES 
4 in. wide, The Groove protects 
the heads of spokes from wear, 
which makes wheel good and 
strong' till tire is worn out. We 
make plain tire wheels in other 
widths. We make wheels to fit 
any thimble skein or straight 
steel axle. Get our free catalog 
of Steel Wheels and Low Dow® 
Handy Wagons. 
HAVANA METAL WHEEL CO., 
Box 17 .*. Havana, HL 
WAGON SENSE 
Don’t break your back and kill your 
horses with a high wheel wagon. 
For comfort’s sake get an 
Electric Handy Wagen. 
It will save you time and money. A 
set of Electric Steel Wheels will 
make your old wagon new at small 
cost. Write for catalogue. Xtisfree. 
ELECTRIC WHEEL CO., Boi 88, Quincy. HI. 
WARRINER’S H ^mo STANCHION 
I. B. Calvin, Vice-Pres¬ 
ident, State Dairy Asso¬ 
ciation, Kewanno, Ind., 
says; 
“I think them 
PERFECT.” 
Send for BOOKLET. 
W. B. CRUMB, 
73 Main Street. 
Forestville, Conn. 
