1248 
THE RURAL NEW-YORKER 
December 30.1011. 
HUMOROUS 
“Is there a new baby at your house, 
Mamie?” “No’m; ’tain’t new. It’s all 
red and creased up, like it’s second 
hand.”—Baltimore American. 
Little Freddie sat looking at the new 
baby. Then he asked: “Mamma, what 
is the baby’s name?” “The baby has 
no name.” “Well, then, how does it 
know it, belongs to us?”—Woman's 
Journal. 
The Shortstop: “Going to try out 
that new boy for the team ?” Captain: 
“No. The minute I heard him spell 
plenipotentiary, erysipelas and trigo¬ 
nometrical I knew he wouldn’t be no 
use on a ball nine.”—Puck. 
“Truth,” said the orator who quotes, 
“is at the bottom of a well.” “Yes,” 
replied Farmer Corntossel; “an’ ain’t it. 
discouragin’ how the well hev been run- 
nin’ dry this Summer?”—Washington 
Star. 
“Can’t you assume a little more 
pleasing expression of countenance?” 
asked the photographer. “Y-yes, sir,” 
hesitatingly answered the sitter. “Wait 
a minute and I’ll take off these new 
shoes.”—Chicago Tribune. 
Vox Populi : “Do you think you’ve 
boosted your circulation by giving a 
year’s subscription for the biggest po¬ 
tato raised in the country?” The Edi¬ 
tor : “Mebbe not, but I got four barrels 
of samples.”—Philadelphia Telegraph. 
Your Choice 
“Do these city boarders of yours make 
themselves at home?” asked the neigh¬ 
bor. “Nope,” replied Farmer Corn¬ 
tossel. “Some o’ them would never 
think of actin’ the way they do if they 
was in their own homes.”—Washington 
Star. 
of Any of These New Style 
Genuine Edison Phonographs 
SHIPPED FREE!! 
“What do you do when you answer a 
The Edison! Th" 
Mminp Edison—Thomas A. Edison’s new 
call and find that the patient isn’t in¬ 
jured enough to take to the hospital?” 
“In a case of that kind,” replied the am¬ 
bulance surgeon, nonchalantly, “on the 
way back we generally pick up one of 
the pedestrians we ran over.”'—Life. 
“What in the world do you want 
with so many garden seeds?” inquired 
the patient California Congressman. 
“You surely don’t plant all of them.” 
“No,” replied the constituent. “We put 
a little milk and sugar on them and use 
them for breakfast food.—Woman’s 
Journal. 
“I done heard it read in de paper,” 
said Uncle Rasberry, “dat some o’ 
deshere flyin’ machine gemmem says a 
man kin do anything a bird kin.” 
“That’s what they say.” “Well, when 
any of ’em sees a human sit fas’ asleep, 
holdin’ on to a tree branch wif his feet, 
I sho’ wishes dey’d call me to have a 
look.”—Washington Star. 
SAVE HALF Your 
Paint Bills 
By using INGERSOLL PAINT— proved 
best by 66 years’ use. It will please you. 
Only Paint endorsed by the “Grange.” 
Made in all colors,—for all purposes. 
DELIVERED FREE. 
From the Mill Direct to You at Factory Prices. 
INGERSOLL PAINT BOOK —FREE 
Telle all about Paint and Painting f~r Durability. 
How to avoid trouble and expense caused by paint* 
fading, chalking and peeling. Valuable information 
froo to yon, with Sample Color Cards. Writ# me. DO 
IT HOW. I can save yon money. 
0. W. Ingersoll, 246 Plymouth St., Brooklyn, N.Y. 
Make Your Old 
Wagon New 
Just as strong and as good as ever 
i and more convenient. Write us and 
let us show you how cheaply wa 
can fit your old running gear with 
our superb 
Electric 
Wheels 
which put an end to all break-downs. 
No shrinking or drying apart or tire 
Betting. Makes your wagon a real handy wagon. Our 
48 page book shows you why no other wagon wheels in 
the world equal the famous Electric Steel Wheels. 
Heading It will Saveyou time, money and horse flesh. 
It’s free. Write for it to-day to 
^ELECTRIC WHEEL CO., Box 48, Quincy. IIL 
style instrumr shippr positively and absolutely FREE! 
You do not tc j us a single penny either now or 
later on this free loan. No deposit—no guarantee—no 
C. O. D. payment to us. 
Mr. Edison Says: 
“I want to see a phono - 
graph in every home ” 
The Edison Offer: 
Get any of the new style instilments shown 
above—take your choice of Edison records also. 
Simply get the phonograph and the records and 
use them free just as though they were your own. 
Entertain yourself, your family and friends too, if 3^011 wish—with everything, 
from the catchiest, newest, most popular songs, side-splitting minstrel and 
vaudeville monologues, to the famous grand operas, Amberol and other records 
sung by the world’s greatest artists. Now remember— all this entertainment 
is free! After you have had all this entertainment absolutely free—then you 
may simply send the outfit right back to me— and 1 Will pay the freight. 
MV RFA^OM When you get the free concerts in your own home, I am sure you will 
4 be glad to make your neighbors and friends hear the new style Edison. 
It’s almost sure someone will want to buy such an outfit. Perhaps you yourself will want to 
keep it, either for cash or at $2.00 a month. But if you do not find it worth the $2.00 a month 
to you, you are to judge and you may return it at our expense. If none of your friends 
happens to want an Edison just now, we’ll be glad anyway, that we sent you the new style 
Edison and convinced you and your neighbors of the splendid superiority of the new 
style Edison phonograph. Sooner or later you or your neighbors will buy. And that’s 
our way of advertising this new Edison. 
Wonderful Edison Catalog Free 
Get our handsome Free Edison 
Catalog and list of Amberol records 
so you can select just the machine 
and the songs, recitations, etc., 
that j t ou want to hear on this 
ultra-generous offer. Remember 
there is absolutely no obligation. 
If you enjoy good music and the 
finest and most varied entertain¬ 
ment, or if you want to give your 
family and friends a treat such as 
they could not get by any other 
means, then you should certainly 
investigate this remarkable offer. 
EDISON PHONOGRAPH DISTRIBUTERS 
F. K. Babson, Vice President and Manager 
EDISON BLOCK dept. 8299 CHICAGO, ILL. 
Western Office: 65 Post Street, San Francisco Canadian Office: 355 Portage Ave., Winnipeg 
I 
I 
I 
FREE COUPON 
EDISON PHONOGRAPH DISTRIBUTERS 
F. K. Babson, Vice President and Manager 
EDISON BLOCK dept. 8299 CHICAGO, ILL. 
Western Office: 65 Post Street, San Francisco Canadian Office: 355 Portage Ave , Winnipeg 
Without any obligation on me, please send me your great Edison Catalog and 
explain your Free Offer on my choice of a new style Edison Phonograph. 
Name 
Address 
282 
I 
I 
I 
j 
Power at Low Cost 
Kerosene as Fuel 
H ERE is Power for you that can always be 
relied upon. The Colton Modern Kerosene 
Engine is the most economical, simplest and 
most reliable Farm Power Plant yet invented. Its 
many new improved patented features are most 
valuable and are not found on any other engine. 
Power is constant, speed regulated without stopping 
engine—adjusts itself instantly to any overload—no 
cranking to start it. 
bet this wonderful engine demonstrate its unusual 
value to you. Connect it to your water system, 
lighting system, pumps or any other machinery. If 
it doesn’t prove a great money and labor saver, 
return it and get your money back. 
The Colton operates perfectly on kerosene, the 
most economical and satisfactory fuel. Kerosene can 
be purchased anywhere at about half the cost of gas¬ 
oline, is much safer to handle and gives more power 
gallon for gallon, than gasoline. Gasoline, alcohol’ 
distilate, and other fusel oil may also be used. 
Positive, Unconditional Guaranty 
Every Colton is sold under a positive, unqualified 
f uarantee to give satisfactory service or money ro¬ 
unded. Our company lias been established 27 years. 
You need an engine on your farm—so investigate 
the Colton—the latest 
development in en¬ 
gine building. 
Get it on trial and 
compare its simple, 
compact construc¬ 
tion, superior quality 
materials and high 
grade workmanship. 
You will see it oper¬ 
ate with less atten¬ 
tion and furnishes 
more power per rat¬ 
ing than any engine 
you ever saw. Send 
for tree engine book 
at once. 
Arthur Colton Co. 
201 Brush St. I 
Detroit - Mich. I 
Rnn on gasoline,kerosene,dia- 
tillate, any cheap fuel oil. 
Cost less to operate, develop 
more power. Patent throttlo 
gives thrtt engines at pries 
of one. Many other exclusive 
features. 
30 Days’ Free 
Guaranteed 
Here's 
do away 
and save money, time 
and labor. Absolutely 
the best engine for 
farm use. 
Write for catalogue. 
ELLIS ENGINE 00. 
15 MuHet St., Detroit, Mich. 
MIDDLEDITCH 
KEROSENE 
ENGINES 
Give most power with least 
expense for fuel. Run on 
Comrapn coal oil, gasoline, 
distillate, or alcohol. Sim¬ 
plest—safest—most durable 
—easiest to start—smooth¬ 
est running. Ask about 
our 30 days’ 
Genuine 
Most liberal trial proposition 
ever made. It you are not per¬ 
fectly satisfied, you pay noth¬ 
ing. Our new 1912 model now 
ready for delivery. Write lor 
iutroductory prices. They 
will surprise you. 
THE MIDDLEDITCH ENGINE CO.. 
29 Meldrum Ave., Detroit, Mich. 
GASOLINE ENGINES 
6 Horse Power , $125 
SAW WAGONS CIRCULAR SAWS 
PUMPING 
ENGINES 
ICE AND 
HAY HOISTS 
Catalog R 
Free 
PALMIER BROS., 
Cos Cob, Conn. 
Lowest Cost—Best Service 
N O matter what your power needs 
write at once,for the Leffel 
Free Book tel is al 1 facts 
about engines. Get posted 
on what’s what in the power 
world. Don't make a mistake. 
Buy right the first time. Thou¬ 
sands of Leffel engines are dis¬ 
placing gasoline engines be¬ 
cause they are more depend¬ 
able-more simple—more dur¬ 
able and more economical. Let 
us prove it to you. 
LEFFEL . .. 
Steam Engines 
work harder at less cost than 
any other engine you could 
buy. Made to run any machine on your farm. BurnsJ 
any old wood or rubbish around the place for fuel. 
WRITE FOR FREE BOOK Don’t decide on your 
engine before you get the Leffel Book that tells 
all the facts about Gasoline and Steam power 
outfits and their relative value to you. Don’t 
wait—write postal now. Address 
lames Leffel & Company 
Box 264, Springfield, Ohio. 
B 
a 
FUMA 
99 kill* Prairie Dogs, 
Woodchucks, Gophers, 
and Grain Insects. 
“The wheels of the gods 
grind slow but exceed¬ 
ingly small.” So the weevil, but you can stop their 
with “Fuma Carbon Bisulphide are doing. 
EDWARD K. TAYLOR, Fean Yan, N. Y. 
