224 The Life of Fred Archer 
have gladly given up money, honours, and everything else, 
even my life, in exchange for only one word from her dear 
lips. I could not get it, and never can.' 
" The poor fellow tried hard to conceal his emotion, but 
in spite of his efforts the tears rained down his face, and his 
terrible grief was pitiable to behold. Recovering himself in 
a minute or two, he said : ' How strange it all seems, and how 
odd that you should ask me that question about my feelings 
over my successes ! Do you know, I did feel something of what 
you must mean the other day. It was the day before my 
poor Nellie died.' 
" ' I had just closed a brilliant season by winning the Liver- 
pool Cup on Thebais. I had received a telegram to say the baby 
was born, and that Nellie and the little thing were all right, 
and as the train whizzed me along toward home my whole 
career seemed to come up before me. I confess that I did 
feel a little proud at winding up my great season so briUiantly, 
and I was so happy about Nellie and baby, and everything 
generally, that I said to myself : "I wonder why I should be 
so blessed ? There really does not seem to me to be anything 
in this world that I can or ought to want." 
" ' I arrived at home in due course, and everything seemed all 
right there. Nellie, you know, always liked to see me in my 
hunting togs. So, as the hounds were going to meet somewhere 
near the next morning, I thought it would be a good excuse to 
dress myself in full hunting rig, just to please her, and I meant 
to take lots of trouble to make myself as smart as possible on 
that account. 
" ' I think I was the happiest man that evening that ever 
lived, and in that frame of mind as I thought of how I 
would go and show myself and say good morning to poor 
NeUie. 
" ' Just then my sister came running towards me and 
cried out, " Oh, Fred ! Fred ! Nellie is dying ! " I rushed 
into the room and found the poor little woman writhing in 
