716 
THE RURAL NEW-YORKER 
June 15, 1912. 
HUMOROUS 
Aj 
Lawyer (to witness): “Now, then, 
Mr. Murphy, give us your last resi¬ 
dence.” Murphy: “Faith, sor, I dunno; 
but it’ll be the cimitery, Oi’m thinkin’ !” 
—Tit-Bits. 
Mr. Nuwed: "Why did you discharge 
the cook, dearest?” Mrs. Nuwed: “She 
was incompetent, darling. I told her to 
make a few sweetbreads for tea, and 
she didn’t know how.”—Life. 
A WELL-known judge entered a well-Av £ 
known restaurant. “Will you try or n 
turtle soup?” asked the waiter. “I have 
tried it,” said the judge, “and my verdict 
is that the turtle has proved an alibi.”— 
Melbourne Leader. 
“I breathe my vows from a sur¬ 
charged heart,” murmured the young 
man. “Nonsense, Henry,” said the col¬ 
lege damsel. “You don’t breathe from 
your heart. You breathe from your 
diaphragm.”—Louisville Courier-Jour- 
nal. 
The teacher had been talking about 
a hen sitting on eggs, and, with the 
incubator in mind, asked if eggs could 
be hatched in any other way. "Yes, 
sir,” said an experienced person of 
nine. “Put ’em under a duck.”—Eng¬ 
lish Country Life. 
“I can’t understand about this wire¬ 
less telegraphy,” said Mrs. Wunder. 
“Why, it’s plain as day,” said Mr. 
Wunder. “They just send the messages 
through the air instead of over wires.” 
“I know that,” said she, “but how do 
they fasten the air to the poles?”— 
Credit Lost. 
The youth who was smoking a cigar¬ 
ette opposite the monkey’s cage took 
another from his pocket. “Would it do 
any harm,” he asked, “if I offered him 
one of these?” “Not a bit,” responded 
the attendant, “he wouldn’t touch it. 
A monkey isn’t half as big a fool as he 
looks.”—Credit Lost. 
“It is the duty of every one to make 
at least one person happy during 1 e 
week,” said a Sunday school teacher. 
“Now, have you done so, Johnny?” 
“Yes,” said Johnny promptly. “That’s 
right. What did you do?” “I went to 
see my aunt, and she’s always happy 
when I go home.”—Answers. 
An old darky was summoned before 
the judge for stealing a chicken. He 
was on hand early, and before the case 
was called the judge, observing his pres¬ 
ence, asked his name. “My name is 
Johnsing, yo’ honah,” said the darkey. 
“Are you the defendant in this case?” 
inquired the judge. “No, sah,” replied 
the darky. “I’se got a lawyer to do my 
defendin’; I’se the gentleman who stole 
de chicken.”—Credit Lost. 
A blank crop report was sent out by 
a Cleveland paper for the farmers to 
fill out, and the other day one of them 
came back with the following written 
on the blank side in pencil: “All we’ve 
got in this neighborhood is three wid- 
ders, two school-ma’ams, a patch of 
wheat, the hog cholera, too much rain, 
about fifty acres of ’taters, and a durn 
fool who married a cross-eyed gal be¬ 
cause she owns eighty sheep and a 
mule, which the same is me, and no 
more at present.”—Argonaut. 
When you write advertisers mention The 
R. N.-Y. and you’ll get a quick reply and a 
•‘square deal.” See guarantee editorial page. 
SAVE HALF Your 
This 3i*Ton$-Per-Hour Hay Press 
rries Its Own Power Plant 
Q> 
$10 TO $1S A DAY NET PROFITS 
Bills 
By using INGERSOLL PAINT— proved 
best by 66 years’ use. It will please you. 
Only Paint endorsed by the “Grange.** 
Made in all colors,—for all purposes. 
DELIVERED FREE. 
Prom the Mill Direct to You at Factory Prices, 
INGERSOLL PAINT BOOK —FREE 
Telle all about Paint and Painting t~tr Durability. 
How to avoid trouble and expense caused by paint* 
fading, chalking and peeling. Valuable information 
free to you. with Ba'uple Color Cards. Write me. DO 
IT HOW. I can save you money. 
0. W. Ingersoll, 246 Plymouth St.. Brooklyn, N.V. 
^ Not content with merely building the fastest-baling Hay Presses on earth, we have 
added gas-power equipment by putting a high-class Gas Engine right on the same truck 
^with the Press. This gives cheap power In abundant quantities. You can bale up to 2 * l A to 
^ dH tons per hour at lowest cost of operation and no time lost getting ready for business. 
v Compact and easily moved. Don’t have to set up or line up with engine. Solid steel ma- 
^ chinery. Some owners of Sandwich Motor Presses made 810 to 815 a day last season, 
nearly double the usual profit. The big feed-opening of the Press takes double-size charge 
of hay. It’s a self-feeder—direct from fork. Friction clutch sprocket on press. Can start 
or stop press instantly. Simple block dropper—lever brake. Simple, smooth and easy 
running, yet it bales 35 per cent more than any other press of same rated size. Nothing like 
it for windrow work. 
Engine is hopper cooled type—requires little water. Heavy steel roller, chain drive. 
Chain delivers full power of engine. No belts to lose power or cause trouble. Comes com¬ 
pletely and fully equipped. Engine can be removed for other work. No amount of money 
can buy a better gas engine. Can furnish outfits with 4,5, 7 and 9 horsepower engines. 
Sandwich Motor Press 
Horse Power Presses 
Our Steel Belt Power Press, our Two-Horse 
Full Circle, Self-Feed Presses and our “New 
Way” Horizontal Press lire pace-makers in 
horse power presses. Wood frame or steel frame 
—as big or little as you wish. Our catalog pictures 
and describee each style. And each press is rea¬ 
sonably priced. 
Postal Brings Booklet 
Bend your nnmo nnd address on postal today and 
our latest Book, “Tons Tell,” will be put in your 
hands by next mall. This Book 
not only describes our many 
Hay Presses, but shows the 
huge profits, in hay baling. 
BALED hay is now bringing 
skyscraper prices. Most every¬ 
body wants theirs baled. No 
trouble,to get plenty of business 
and the profits aro large and— 
well, get the book—it’s free. 
Sandwich Mfg. Co. 
237 Main St., Sandwich, 111. 
Branches Box 237 . Kansas City, Mo. 
uranenes. Box 237 Co||ncj| Blu ft s |a 
Fill Your Silo Cheaply 
Many things enter into the cost of filling your Silo, but 
the most important one is your Siio Filler. A poor 
machine means a high cost, and an 
Appleton Quality Silo Filler 
means the lowest cost. The positive feed table, the large 
throat, big feed rolls, the four spiral tool steel knives 
and the powerful blower mean great capacity. The 
solid Oak frame, means strength. The single lever 
control, the handy side table, the flexible top dis- 
tributer mean convenience. In fact, the whole 
machine means satisfaction, while our guarantee 
that our Silo Filler will, under equal conditions, do more and better work with less power 
and will last longer, means absolute safety for you. More Silos will be built and more en¬ 
silage fed this year than ever before. We have already sold more Silo Fillers this year 
than we did in all of 1911. To insure prompt delivery you should arrange for a machine 
at once. Write to-day for free illustrated booklet. 
APPLETON MANUFACTURING COMPANY. 427 Fargo Street, Batavia. Ill. 
mm 
<1PORTLAND' 
' CEMENT ' 
Mail This Today 
Tear off on this line ■ 
’'My Name is. 
I 
Addrcst- 
-R<R D No 
<*• 
[Town - 
State. 
I am planning to build the work checked on the list below. 
Please send me instruction books or information for build¬ 
ing this work in concrete. This is to be at no cost to me. 
W Rams 
—Barnyard Pavements 
—Basements 
—Building Blocks 
—Cellars 
—Cement Plaster Construction 
—Cisterns 
—Coal Shed 
—Com Crib 
—Culverts 
—Curb and Cutter 
—Dipping Tanks 
—Drain Tile 
—Driveways 
- Feeding Troughs 
—Fence Posts 
—Fences 
- Floors 
_ Foundations 
- Cate Posts 
—Granaries 
_ Hog Houses 
_ Hog Wallows 
_ Ice Houses 
_ Milk Houses 
—Mangers 
—Nests tor Hens 
—JPoultrg Houses 
_ Road Improvement 
_ Root Cellars 
—Septic Tanks 
_—Stables 
_ Sidewalks 
1 —Silos 
—Smoke Houses 
- Steps 
—Surface Finishes 
— Tanks 
— Troughs 
_ Well Curbs 
_ Walls 
Experts in Concrete Construction 
Will Help You Build 
Whether you are going to build a concrete silo or expect to use only 
a few sacks of cement about the place this year.it will pay you to send 
to us for any information you need. The books we offer you without 
cost are written by experts in concrete construction, and will tell you 
exactly and in plain language how to go about the work. Thou¬ 
sands of farmers are successfully doing concrete work today with the 
aid of these books and by using Universal Portland Cement 
Tear out the coupon above and mail it today to our nearest office, 
UNIVERSAL R c&ment D COMPANY 
PITTSBURGH MINNEAPOLIS 
Frick Building Security Bank Building 
Annual Output 48,000,000 Sacks 
CHICAGO 
72 West Adams St, 
.GRAIN DRILLS 
PH 
“The Buckeye— 
A Wise Buy,” 
These well-known Grain Drills are 
made in every size and style to 
successfully meet the seeding con¬ 
ditions wherever grain is grown. 
Not only will they sow all small 
grains, but they will sow peas, 
beans, etc. 
In addition to tbe above, there is made a 
Buckeye Alfalfa Drill 
especially designed for scientifically 
sowing Alfalfa, Timothy, all kinds 
of Grasses, Clovers, etc., but not 
for drilling grain. Send for our 
Special Buckeye Alfalfa Drill 
Folder, as well as the Buckeye 
Grain Drill Catalogue. After you 
have read these, go to your local 
implement dealer and insist on 
seeing Buckeye Drills, which are 
sold under a warranty that abso¬ 
lutely protects the purchaser. 
Jne^merican Reeding Machine 
FnCOAPOKATED . 
Springfield, Onto, 
WHITMAN’ 
HAY PRESS 
40 Years Standard 
ol the World 
H\H y New Model Steel Beauty 
Let us prove that our New Model Is the Strongest, Most 
Durable, Most Economical and Simplest Hay Press in tba 
World—does tho best work—has greatest capacity—saves 
time, labor and trouble—contains exclusive feature found 
in no other press—with or witnout self-feed, pullbackand 
hoppereondonser—fully guaranteed—we make largest lino 
of Bailers in tho world. Write today for big free catalog. 
WHITMAN AGRICULTURAL CO., 6951 S. Broadway. St. Lotus. 
Farrell’s 
Improved 
Kay 
Unloader 
This hoist 
has advant¬ 
ages found 
in no other. 
It is just what every up-to-date farm needs. Operated by 
steam or gasoline engine. Write for full Information and 
price. JOHN FARB.KLL, Newton, New Jersey. 
HAY' 
CAPS 
Waterproof 
Stack, Implement, Wagon, 
and Farm Covers, Water¬ 
proof or Plain Canvas. 
Plant Bed Cloth. 
Sheeting, Tents, etc. 
Henry Derby, 123-Y Chambers St., New York' 
BUSH and BOG PLOW-* 
Clark's Reversible Bush and 
Bog Plow is just the tool 
to subdue baked soil, 
bogs or newly cleared 
forests or stump land. 
Cuts a track 5 ft.wide, 
9 in. deep. Has eight 
24-inch cutlery steel 
disks. Turns the 
earth to or from 
stumps. Will kill any 
i or plant that grows and leave land true 
and clear. Send for now book, Intensive 
Cultivation.” It’s Free. 
CUTAWAY HARROW CO., 
839 Main St.,Hlrganum, Conn. 
•GUARANTEED FOR »30 YEARS 
99 . 84 %^^ Money back or a new roof if it de- 
PURE V teriorates or rusts out. No painting 
or repairs required. Our Indemnity Bond pro¬ 
tects you. Costs no more than ordinary roof¬ 
ing. Write for big illustrated book FREE. 
The American Iron Roofing Co. 
Station I> KLYKIA, OHIO. 
-SPANGLER- 
LOW DOWN 
Lime Spreader 
Unequalled lor spreading Lime, Nitrate Soda- 
all commercial fertilizers. Spreads 150 to 4000 
lbs. fertilizer per acre—evenly, quickly, economi¬ 
cally. Low down discharge. 
Saves Money—Fertilizer 
by praventing limo or fertilizer blowing away. Has posi- 
tive force feed—one iever regulates— " 
instantly adjusted. Hopper low down 
—easy to fi 11. Large,broad tired wheels* 
lighten draft. Strongest 
spreader made. Four sizes. 
Low prices this year—write 
us before you buy. 
The Spangler Blfg.Oo. 
018 Queen St. f York, Pa. 
i 
