808 
THE RURAli NEW-YORKER 
July 20, 1912. 
HUMOROUS 
The bee is like a man. All up 
And down, the world he beats it; 
He gathers honey all his life— 
Some other fellow eats it. 
—Oklahoma Social-Democrat. 
He: “My father weighed only four 
pounds at his birth.” She: “Good gra¬ 
cious! And did he live?”—Boston 
Transcript. 
Bank President: “But why do you 
wish to work in a bank?” Serious 
Youth: "I believe there’s money in it.” 
—W. I. W. 
“I hear you had words with Casey.” 
“We had no words.” “Then nothing 
passed between ye?” “Nothing but one 
brick.”—Washington Herald. 
Cohn (reading a Canadian timetable) 
—“Saskatchewan, Assiniboia, Portage la 
Prairie, Ungava, Keewatin, Moo-” 
O’Shaughnessy—“For the lov uv Mike! 
Shtop saying thim Yiddish prayers, 
Cohn.”—Satire. 
“What’s the trouble with Alice’s deep¬ 
breathing exercises?” “The teacher 
keeps on telling the poor girl she’s got 
to breathe from her diagram, and she 
don’t know what kind of a diagram to 
get her.”—Baltimore American. 
Aunt Sarah reproachfully shook her 
finger at hei\small nephew, as she noted 
the disappearance of the pie she had 
left on the pantry shelf. “I didn’t think 
it was in you, John,” she said. “’Tain’t 
all in me, either,” replied the young¬ 
ster, “half of it’s in Sallie.”—Suburban 
Life. 
“I see they have put a sounding-board 
at the back of the minister’s pulpit,” 
said Baron. “What do you suppose 
that’s for?” Egbert replied: “Why, it’s 
to throw out the sound.” “Gracious,” 
said Baron, “if you throw out the sound 
there wouldn’t be anything left to the 
sermon.”—Epworth Herald. 
First Coster: “Well, pore old Bill's 
gone.” Second Coster (scornfully) : 
"Pore, indeed! Luckiest bloke in the 
market. Couldn’t touch nuffink wifout 
it turned to money. Insured ’is ’ouse— 
burned in a month. Insured ’isself again 
haccidents—broke ’is harm fust week. 
Joined the burial society larst Toosday, 
and now ’e’s ’opped it. Pore old Bill, 
indeed!”—Punch. 
“Father,” asked eight-year-old Alice, 
returning home from school, “are you 
good at punctuation?” "Yes,” replied the 
father. “Well, tell me, please, how would 
you punctuate ‘The wind blew a $5 bill 
around the corner.’ ” “Why, daughter, 
I would simply put a period at the end 
of the sentence.” “I wouldn’t,” said 
Alice mischievously, “I would make a 
dash after the $5 bill.”—National 
Monthly. 
When you write advertisers mention The 
R. N.-Y. and you’ll get a quick reply and a 
“square deal.” See guarantee editorial page. 
SAVE HALF Your 
Paint Bills 
By using INGERSOLL PAINT— proved 
toest by 66 years’ use. It will please you. 
Only Paint endorsed by the “Grange." 
Made in all colors,—for all purposes. 
DELIVERED FREE. 
From the Mill Direct to You at Factory Price*. 
INQERSOLL PAINT BOOK —FREE 
Tells all about Paint and Painting PTr Durability. 
How to avoid trouble and expense caused by paint* 
fading, chalking and peeling. Valuable information 
free to Von, with Sample Color Cards, Writ* me, DO 
I* MOW. I can lave yon money. 
0. W. Ingersoll, 246 Plymouth St.. Brooklyn, N.Y. 
Bush and bog plow-. 
Clark’s Reversible Bush and 
Bog Plow is just the tool 
to subdue baked soil, 
bogs or newly cleared 
forests or stump land. 
Cuts a track 5 ft.wide, 
9 in. deep. Has eight 
24-ineh cutlery steel 
disks. Turns the 
earth to or from 
_ stumps. Will kill any 
isn or plant that grows and leave land true 
id clear. Send for new hook, Intensive 
lltivation." It’s Free. 
CUTAWAY HARROW CO., 
39 Main St.,_ IHggnnum, Conn. 
Top and windshield not included in price. We equip this car with mohair top, side curtains and slip-cover, 
windshield, gas tank and speedometer—all for $100 extra. Self-starter, if wanted, $20 extra. 
The 1912 Sensation 
By R. E. Olds , Designer 
Five Times Oversold in May 
I have built automobiles for 25 years. Reo the 
Fifth is my 24th model. 
I have watched all theups and downs of Motordom— 
all thecomingsand goings, the successes and failures. 
But I never saw a demand like that which devel¬ 
oped for Reo the Fifth this year. In April and May 
we could easily have sold five times our factory output. 
My Final Car 
Month after month I have told you the story, so 
you know why this call has come. 
I built this car as my final creation, as the cap- 
sheaf of my career. 
In this car I embodied the best I had learned from 
25 years of car building. 
This car marked my limit. Every detail showed 
the best I knew. 
I analyzed all steel that went into it. I tested the 
gears in a crushing machine with 50 tons’ capacity. 
I used Nickel Steel axles—Vanadium Steel con¬ 
nections. I equipped the car with 13 Timken bearings. 
To every part I gave big margins of safety. The 
carburetor I doubly heated for low-grade gasoline. 
1 Watched It 
Then I took personal charge of the building, for I 
pledged my good faith on this car. 
I saw that the parts were ground over and over, 
until we got utter exactness. I saw that each car 
got a thousand inspections. 
The engines were tested for 48 hours. Each fin¬ 
ished car was tested over and over, until it proved 
utterly perfect. 
We did all this with every car, in the midst of the 
April rush. We do it today, and shall always do it 
so long as I build this car. 
The Center Control 
Then we equipped this car with my new center 
control. All the gear shifting is done by a small, 
round lever between the two front seats. It is done 
by moving this lever only three inches in each of 
four directions. 
I got rid of all side levers, so the front doors were 
clear. Both brakes are operated by foot pedals. 
In these ways I made possible the left-side drive. 
Now nearly all makers announce for next season 
the center control and the left-side drive. But none 
can use my center control. They still use the old 
time levers. 
The Amazing Price 
Then we offered this car—the best I can build— 
for $1,055. And nothing on the market could begin 
to compete with it. 
The car is long, roomy and powerful. The wheels are 
big. The body is finished in 17 coats. The upholstering 
is the height of luxury. 
The demand for this car will grow and grow as the 
facts become better known. I believe that each car will 
sell twenty. 
But the price of $1,055 can’t last long. The price is 
too low for profit, and materials are advancing. Before 
very long advancing costs will compel us to ask some¬ 
thing more for this car. 
1,000 Dealers 
Reo the Fifth is shown by dealers in a thousand towns. 
If you will write for our catalog, showing the various styles 
of body, we will tell you where to see the car. Address 
R. M. OWEN & CO., General Sales Agents for REO MOTOR CAR CO., Lansing, Mich. 
Canadian Factory, St. Catharines, Ont. 
GOODHUE 
WINDMILLS 
Less than 2V2C per dajr 
for five years will not only buy an 8’ Goodhue Windmill 
and 80' Steel Tower, but will pay for all your pumping, 
buy all your repairs, and furnish you with a new mill and 
tower if yours is destroyed within five years by cyclone, 
tornado, run-away teams or any other cause except 
willful abuse or neglect. 
You cannot even pump your water for that sum In any 
other way. The time you lose starting and stopping 
your engine will amount to more than that. You simply 
cannot afford to use any other power for pumping. 
HHHH Goodhue Windmills are strong, durable and 
safe, are self-oiling, close governing and will get 
the most power out of any wind. Write us to¬ 
day for our catalogue and the details of our 
really remarkable proposition. Delays are 
expensive. Do not delay, 
APPLETON MFG.CO., 327 Fargo St., Batavia, I1L 
WE BUY OLD BAGS 
Sound...3—4—S Cent* 
Torn.2—3—4 Cant, 
We Pay the Freioht 
IROQUOIS B a G CO. 
725 BROADWAY, BUFFALO. N. Y. 
STEEL WHEELS 
(Low-Down) 
to fit your farmlwagon, 
is the combination that makes 
you look and feel like an Up- 
To-Date farmer. You can do 
more work without being so tired, 
and you can do so much of your 
work alone with the Low-Down 
Steel Wheels. Ask for free 
Catalogue of Instructions. 
Havana Metal Wheel Co. 
Box 17 Havana. Ill. 
Farmers Thresh Your Own Grain 
CHIC nuAMDiftu &^Save enough to own the thresher. Be independent. 
tLLIo LHAmrIUN j ) 0 tJj e work when you jtfk get ready, 
THRESHERS 
Suit everyone. Both the profes¬ 
sional thresherman or the fanner 
who wants a home outfit will find the 
Champion rightly named. The picture 
shows ELLIS CHAMPION NO 2. It is complete 
with stacker, tailings, elevator and grain bag 
ger. Connect it with steam, gasolene, tread or any 
other power, put in the grain and the Champion does 
the rest. No straw clogging. Any size. 
Wo also make tread and sweep horse-power, drag: or circular saws, 
Our catalog tolls the whole story, ELLIS KEYSTONE AGRICULTURAL WORKS, Pettstewn, Pa. 
C l / 3 More Water 
"American” Centrifugal Pump 
than by others because the impeller 
is accurately machined to the casing, 
preventing any sudden 
change in direction 
of the water. IVof 
on ounce of power 
is wasted. Every 
“American” Cen¬ 
trifugal absolutely 
guaranteed. 
Write for new 
catalog. 
THE AMERICAN WELL WORKS 
Office and Works, Aurora, Ill, 
Firrt National Bank Bnilding, CHICAGO_ 
