Response to Addresses of Welcome. 
BY G. L. TABER. 
Mr. President, Ladies and Gentlemen: 
In a Society like ours there are some¬ 
times pleasant duties to perform and 
the task you have assigned me, of re¬ 
plying to these generous words of wel¬ 
come, is amongst these pleasant ones. 
During our annual meeting some of our 
members are called upon to speak on cer¬ 
tain well defined subjects, assigned them 
in advance that have to do with the dif¬ 
ferent phases of Horticulture; and while 
these duties, never considered onerous, are 
generally cheerfully complied with, the 
members who make these Committee Re¬ 
ports, as well as others that follow in dis¬ 
cussion, are supposed to confine them¬ 
selves, rather closely, to the subject in 
hand. In my case, however, Mr. Presi¬ 
dent, it is different, for custom has de¬ 
creed, wisely or unwisely, that more than 
the three words “We thank you” is ex¬ 
pected of him who makes response to an 
Address of Welcome; and this, notwith¬ 
standing all the heart-felt sincerity with 
which those words can be imbued, or the 
emphasis with which they can be spoken. 
And now, Mr. President, having defin¬ 
ed my independent position, permitted to 
touch on few or many things, and these in 
a light or serious vein as my fancy dictat¬ 
es—I wish to tell a stor}^ My story ori¬ 
ginated in a State some distance remov¬ 
ed from Florida, namely. North Dakota. 
An automobilist traveling through that 
untropical country found himself with a 
disabled machine and without proper 
tools to repair it. 
He called at a near by farm house and 
asked the owner, a Swede, for a monkey 
wrench. The Swede replied that he had 
none. “Do you know of anyone in the 
vicinity who has a monkey wrench” ? ask¬ 
ed the traveler. “Nay” replied the 
Swede, “may bradder, ’bout eigh miles 
from hayer ban got cattle ranch, may 
bradder-law. Ole Olson, ’bout sex miles, 
ban got shape ranch; but Nort’ Dakota 
too blame cauld for anybody keep monkey 
ranch.” Now Mr. President notwith¬ 
standing the more favorable climatic con¬ 
ditions that exists here, I have never 
heard of a monkey ranch in Florida, and, 
even if there were, I take it that you 
would rule its discussion out of order un¬ 
less introduced in some Horticultural con¬ 
nection, such as “Anima(la)ted Lad¬ 
ders,” “monkeys as orange pickers” or 
“The horticultural possibilities of our 
friend and one time relative, the mon¬ 
key.” Mr. President upon mature consid¬ 
eration I am convinced that even under 
any such horticultural disguises as those 
mentioned, further consideration of the 
subject would be bootless. I therefore re¬ 
quest you that all future allusion to the 
subject be barred and particularly that no 
monkey business be allowed to enter the 
question box—which will be opened later. 
Mr. President, there is one danger that 
always besers a man who tempted to 
make humourous remarks and that is that 
having made them (provided always that 
his hearers interpret them as such) he 
finds it rather hard work to get back on 
