688 
STHE RURAL, NEW-YORKER 
May 17, 1913. 
HUMOROUS 
Said a cheerful old bear at the Zoo: 
"1 never have time to feel blue, 
If it bores me, you know, 
To walk to and fro, 
I reverse it and walk fro and to.” 
—Century. 
“That boy of mine,” remarked 
Smith extravagantly, “is the genuine 
article. He’s all wool, you can bet.” 
“Shouldn’t wonder,” commented Jones. 
“I notice that he shrinks from washing.” 
—Stray Stories. 
Lawyer: How is it that you have 
waited three years before suing this man 
Jones for calling you a rhinoceros? 
Client: Because I never saw one of 
the beasts till yesterday at the Zoo.— 
Credit Lost. 
“Why, the size of your bill,” cried 
the angry patient to the doctor, “makes 
me boil all over!” “Ah!” said the emi¬ 
nent practitioner, calmly, “that will be 
two guineas more for sterilizing your 
system.”—Tit-Bits. 
“Why are you here, my poor friend?’' 
ask the minister who was visiting the 
prison. “I’m the victim of the unlucky 
number thirteen, sir,” said the prisoner. 
“Indeed! How is that?” “Twelve 
jurors and one judge, sir.”—Ladies’ 
Home Journal. 
A lawyer had a horse that always 
balked when he attempted to cross a 
certain bridge leading out of the vil¬ 
lage. No amount of whipping or urg¬ 
ing would induce him to cross it, so he 
advertised him for sale. “To be sold 
for no other reason than that the owner 
would like to leave town.”—That Re¬ 
minds Me Again. 
“Had a queer experience recently,” 
said the Billville poet. “Robber held me 
up on the highway. Didn’t have a cent 
in my pockets—only a poem which I was 
takin’ to the editor.” “Didn’t take the 
poem, did he?” “No. Read three lines 
of it, handed it back to me and said: 
‘Friend, here’s $2. You need it worse 
than I do.’ ”—Atlanta Constitution. 
A young Boston college woman was 
following the suburbanite about his 
place and doing her best to show her 
full appreciation of the semi-rural beauty 
of the establishment. On visiting the 
hen yard she became enraptured. One 
hen was unusually well marked. “Oh!” 
the young woman exclaimed enthusi¬ 
astically, “what beautiful foliage that 
hen has !”—Boston Record. 
The train-robber suddenly appeared 
as many of the passengers were pre¬ 
paring to retire for the night. “Come, 
shell out!” he demanded, as he stood 
towering above an Eastern clergyman, 
who had just finished a devout prayer. 
The minister looked at him sadly for a 
moment, then said: “If I had such 
energetic fellows as you to pass the 
plate now and then, I might have some¬ 
thing to give you.”—Harper’s Maga¬ 
zine. 
SAVE HALF Your 
Paint Bills 
By using INGERSOLL PAINT —proved 
best by 66 years’ use. It will please you. 
Only paint endorsed by the “Grange.” 
Made in all colors—for all purposes. 
DELIVERED FREE 
From the Mill Direct to You at Factory Prices. 
INGERSOLL PAINT BOOK —FREE 
Tells all about Paint and Painting for Durability. 
How to avoid trouble and expense caused by paints 
lading, chalking and peeling. Valuable information 
free to you, with Sample Color Cards. Write me. DO 
IT NOW. I can save you money. 
O.W. IngersoM, 246 Plymouth St., Brooklyn, N.Y. 
$4 90 FOR THIS 
X — DANDY GATE 
These grates are not 
a special lot built down 
to a low price, but are 
full of the same qual¬ 
ity, satisfaction and 
durability which can 
be obtained in any of our 
triple-galvanized, high- 
carbon steel 
Iowa Gates 
The filling of this serviceable and ornamental gate is 
extra close diamond mesh. Gate has strong frame, pat¬ 
ent latch, etc. Comes in all sizes; plain and fancy top3. 
Style E Farm Gate, illustrated below, is another 
leader sold at a much lower price than asked for other 
gates of its kind. Painted or galvanized. All sizes. 
The best lumber dealer in your town has these 
gates on sale. If you don’t know his name, write us 
for booklet, name of dealer, special prices, etc. 
Success 
'THE truly remarkable growth 
of the Regal Motor Car 
Company into one of the largest 
manufacturers of automobiles in 
the world has been the natural result 
of building motor cars that not only 
sustain their good qualities in the 
service of thousands of owners, but in 
price comparison are not excelled in 
value by any other automobiles now 
upon the market. 
REGAL MOTOR CAR CO. 
212 PIQUETTE AVENUE 
DETROIT 
$950 
Regal Model “T” Underslung Touring Car 
«5> 
Puts a Stop to the “Hum” 
of the Humbug Roofings 
.. 
A roofing not much more expensive 
than tar paper is not much better—a 
cheap price means a cheap roof, no 
matter what the “eager” salesman tells 
you; he is looking out for his pocket, 
not yours. 
“Raintight” Rubber Roofing is com¬ 
posed of Trinidad Lake Asphalt —the 
Standard asphalt of the world—no 
other “Secret combinations” that sound 
“big” but mean little. Nature made it, 
and took her time about it. That’s 
why it lasts. 
Perfect Roofing is the same thing, 
but has a surface that’s as good as a 
fire insurance policy. Mica flakes are 
so deeply embedded into the asphalt 
while hot that it become* part of the 
roof—and mica is fire-resisting (You 
can’t burn it) arid besides, it is a non¬ 
conductor of heat or lightning. Any 
roofing would be burned if attacked by 
a fire from underneath, but Perfect 
Roofing stands “on guard” against the 
fire from without. 
Perfect Rosin sized Sheathing and 
Perfect Tarred Felt are others of our 
specialties, and are all the name im¬ 
plies. 
If your dealer does not handle our roofing, write 
us for samples and booklets- it will pay you. 
Maurice O’Meara Co. 
448 Pearl St., New York 
No Cranking 
Needed 
Eliminates all starting 
troubles. Starts quick 
in any weather. 
Electric Starting 
WOODPECKER 
Uses gasoline or kerosene 
fuel—running cost cut to a fraction. 
Big surplus over rated H. P. Frost¬ 
proof. Famous Woodpecker con¬ 
struction. Guaranteed. 30 days free 
trial—no money down 
Write wow for catalog. 
TIIK JtinDLKTOWN 
MAdtl.VK ( 0., 
’l621F!rst9t., Middletown,0. 
3nv - t 
:‘‘nd 
THE TRINIDAD-LAKE-ASPHALT 
__ 
Make your rooFleak-proofto stay. Lay Genasco 
and you’ll have a roof that makes you free from care 
and saves your repair-money. 
Genasco lasts because the natural oils of Trinidad Lake 
Asphalt gives it resisting lasting life. It doesn’t dry out and 
crack like ordinary roofing made of imitation “asphalt”. 
Get Genasco of your dealer. Several weights. Mineral or smooth surface. 
The Kant-leak Kleet for smooth-surface Genasco keeps the seams watertight 
^vithout cement, and prevents nail-leaks. Write us for Book and samples. Free. 
The Barber Asphalt Paving Company 
Largest producers of asphalt, and largest 
manufacturers of ready roofing in the world. 
New York Philadelphia Chicago 
San Francisco 
Trinidad 
Lake 
Gates 
Last 5 Times as Long 
’ll save you big money on your farm gates. My new catalog quotes such 
'astonishingly low prices on OAN’T-SAG GATES AND GATE STEELS that you simply 
, r e»n’t afford to build another clumsy, all wood era to. My FKE1UHT PAID PRICES are half what others 
charge for short-lived stool,wire and gas pipe gates. 
30 Days 9 Free Trial —5 Year Guarantee 
[ 30 days free trial and a Burned 6-year firuaraotee. Send for my big free Gate Catalog* at once—Beo 
why Can't-bag Gates outsell and outlast all others fRcad what other farmers and stockmen say about them, 
in you gret this book you can either select complete CAN'T-SAG GATES. Ready to harm, any height, 
length—painted or unpainted or if you prefer you can order just the GATE STEELS (which included 
Sand for FREE Cate Catalog Today everything hut the board.)... Withjhe..o you c, 
everything: but the boards). With these you can build your own 
Gates in 3o minutes and SAVE BIG MONEY. 
Note These Special Features 
Each board double bolted between 4 pairs of ANGLE STEEL 
uprights and 6 TRIANGULAR TRUSS BRACES. Patent re¬ 
enforced SELF-LOCKING HINGE. Gate swings easily both 
ways—always hangs square and plumb. Elevating Attachment 
[furnished at elifrht additional costl permits (rates to be raised 
over deep snow or aHowa small stork to pass under. Write (or 
PreeCatalog: and FREIGHT PREPAID OFFER TODAY .Address 
A Y Bowe.Pres. Rowe IWfg.Co ,706(damsSt..6alesburg. Ill,, 
When you write advertisers mention The R. N.-Y. and you’ll get a quick 
reply and a “ square deal.” See guarantee editorial page. 
THE WATER TUBE BOILER 
THAT BACK UP THE 
Safe Engine 
Automatic draft, governor, 
and oil. Best and most 
economical power on earth. 
Can be applied to every de¬ 
mand for steam and power, 
house heating included. 
Next adv. you will see the 
engine side of the rig. 
Ontario Iron Works, 
Pulaski, - - New York 
$32 BwsThislV2RP Engine 
Runs for lc an hour. Uses either gasoline or kerosene.* 
Will drive any machine not requiring more than 2 H. P.^ 
THE AMERICAN JUNIOR 
Comes complete, ready to run. Mount¬ 
ed on skids. Easily carried alxmt. 
Simple.strong,durable. Guaran¬ 
teed for life, bend for circular. 
AMERICAN ENGINE CO., r - 
h » Boston St., Detroit,Mich, c -*t 't—Q. V* 3 
Run on gasoline, kerosene, distillate, 
any cheap fuel oil. Cost less to run— 
j develop more power. Patent throttle 
i gives thrte engines in one. Many other I 
I exclusive features — guaranteed 10 
; years—we pay freight—30 days’ free 
trial. Send for catalogue today. 
[ EMU Enjlns Co., 5 Mullot St., Dotrolt, Milk* 
Ah 
FENCE 
M OST durable fence ^ 
made. Heaviest wires' , 
Double galvanized. Stock 
strong. Chicken tight. 
13 to 35c per rod. 
Sample free. We pay freight 
The Brown Fence & Wire 
Dept. S3 Cleveland. O 
