July 5, 191R. 
828 
TH E RURAL NEW-YORK I£R 
HUMOROUS 
Said tho condor, in tones of despair; 
“Not even the atmosphere’s rare. 
Since man took to flying, 
It’s really ioo trying, 
The people one meets in the air.” 
—Credit Lost. 
Teacher: “What little boy can tell 
me where the home of the swallow is?” 
Small Hoy: “Is it the stummick’ijj -Co¬ 
lumbia Jester. o 
Doctor : “You mustn’t give u ^pe. 
Some years ago 1 had exactly 111 |jne 
illness.” Patient (gloomily) : “j mt 
not the same doctor.”—Boston »in- 
script. < 
tr* 
Willis (ready for school) : •—aa, 
they are hoisting up a safe doj~o f^fhe 
street. Mother: “Well, be carejiL ^|nd 
not walk on the safe side.”— on 
Transcript. 
“I hear Wombat is a gentleman 
farmer now.” “Right up to the notch, 
too. Puts evening dress on all his scare¬ 
crows every day at dusk.”—Louisville 
Courier-Journal. 
Mr. Eaton : “Are you sure the fish 
you sold me yesterday was a shad?” Fish 
Peddler: “Of course I am! What did 
you think it was?” Mr. Eaton: “I sus¬ 
pected it was a porcupine turned wrong 
side out.”—Puck. 
A month-old Jersey calf was nibbling 
at the grass in the yard and the Summer 
girl eyed it doubtfully. “Tell me,” she 
said, “turning impulsively to her hostess, 
“does it really pay to keep as small a 
cow as that?”—Lippincott’s. 
“Good morning, Uncle Charles. Did 
you sleep well? I’m afraid your bed was 
rather hard and uneven, but-” “Oh, 
it was all right, thank you. I got up now 
and then during the night and rested a 
bit, you know.”—Melbourne Leader. 
Secretary: “A subscriber writes to 
ask us the best way to prevent the an¬ 
noying attentions of strange men who 
follow her.” Correspondence Editor: 
“Tell her to turn and ask the man for a 
donation for the militant suffragettes.”— 
Judge. 
“Sweetheart, before we elope, I must 
think of everying. Everything is ready 
—don’t you you think we would better fly 
before your papa awakens and follows 
us?” “Oh, no, Robert ! There’s no tear¬ 
ing hurry, really. Papa said he’s be sure 
to give us a good two hours’ start!”— 
Cleveland Plain Dealer. 
Somebody was talking to a newly-mar¬ 
ried couple who were spending their 
honeymoon at Scarborough. “You mustn’t 
leave Scarborough till you’ve seen the 
cemetery,” he said; “it’s well worth a 
visit.” They said they would go, but they 
forgot about it until too late. Then the 
young wife reproached her husband. 
“George,” she said, “you haven’t taken 
me to the cemetery yet.” “Well, dear,” 
was the reply, “that is a pleasure I must 
defer to some time in the future J”— 
Pearson’s. 
SAVE HALF Your 
Paint Bills 
By using INGERSOLL PAIN 1 —proved 
best by G6 years’ use. It will please you. 
Only paint endorsed by the “Grange.” 
Made in all colors—for all purposes. 
DELIVERED FREE 
From the Mill Direct to You at Factory Prices. 
INGERSOLL PAINT BOOK —FREE 
Tolls ail about Paint and Painting for Durability. 
How to avoid trouble and expense caused by paint* 
fading, chalking and peeling. Valuable information 
free to you, with Sample Color Card*. Write me. DO 
IT NOW. I can save you money. 
Q.W. IngersoU, 246 Plymouth St., Brooklyn, N.Y. 
MAKE BIG PAY DRILLING 
WATER WELLS 
Our Free Drillers’ Book with 
catalog of Keystone Drills 
tells how. Many sizes j trac¬ 
tion and portable. Easy 
terms. These machines 
make good anywhere. 
KEYSTONE WATER DRILL CO 
Engl urn, Wood Saws,Fodder Cutters,elo 
Messinger Mlg. Co., Talamy, Pa. 
Cox No. Z 
IDEAL 
100 tolOOO 
bus.per day 
Coral Builders and the Bell System 
In the depths of tropical 
seas the coral polyps are at 
work. They are nourished 
by the ocean, and they grow 
and multiply because they 
cannot help it. 
Finally a coral island 
emerges from the ocean. It 
collects sand and seeds, until 
it becomes a fit home for 
birds, beasts and men. 
In the same way the tele¬ 
phone system has grown, 
gradually at first, but steadily 
and irresistibly. It could not 
stop growing. To stop 
would mean disaster. 
The Bell System, starting 
with a few scattered ex¬ 
changes, was carried forward 
by an increasing public 
demand. 
Each new connection dis¬ 
closed a need for other new 
connections, and millions of 
dollars had to be poured 
into the business to provide 
the 7,500,000 telephones now 
connected. 
And the end is not yet, for 
the growth of the Bell System 
is still irresistible, because 
the needs of the people will 
not be satisfied except by 
universal communication. 
The system is large because 
the country is large. 
American Telephone and Telegraph Company 
And Associated Companies 
One Policy 
One System 
Universal Service 
Ellis Champion 
Threshers 
Be Your Own Thresherman 
Save enough to own the Thresher. Be independent. 
get ready* 
Suit everyone. Both tho profes¬ 
sional thresherman or the fanner 
who wants a home outfit will find the 
Champion rightly named. The picture 
shows ELLIS CHAMPION NO. 2 It is complete 
with stacker, tailings, elevator and grain hap 
ger. Connect it with steam, gasolene, trend or 
any other power, put in tho grain and the Cham 
pion does the rest. No straw clogging. Any size. 
Wc also make tread and sweep horse-power, drag or circular saws 
eosilaue cutters, corn shellers, etc. Our catalog tells the whole story. 
ELLIS KEYSTONE AGRICULTURAL WORKS, Potts town, Pa. 
This Easy Way. It Pays. 
The FBrquhar Elevator Potato Digger docs tho 
work of a crew of men. It frees all of the potatoes 
from the soil, and lays them on top of the row 
ready for sacking. If you have an acre or more In 
potatoes, write for book on Potatoes and how to 
dlgthem, also big new catalog of farm machinery. 
A. U. 1 AROUHAR CO.. Ltd. Box 200. York, Pu. 
Hollow Tile—Steel Reinforced 
If 
PERISHABLE ' 1 
5110 
is fireproof, weather proof, practically everlasting— the 
most permanent type of building construction known. 
THE IMPERISHABLE SILO 
is built of hollow vitrified clay blocks. It cannot burn, can¬ 
not be blown over, will last a lifetime without a cent for 
repairs. Glazed sides keep silage sweet and palatable. Any 
mason can build it, and it will give an air of progress and 
prosperity to your farm that will be worth much to you. 
Our Illustrated Silo Book 
Is full of valuable information for stock feeders and dairymen. 
It is written by authorities and should be read by every farmer. 
Send for free copy today— ask /or catalog /, 
NATIONAL FIRE PROOFING COMPANY 
SYRACUSE, N, Y. 
When you write advertisers mention The R. N.-Y. and you’ll get a 
quick reply and a “square deal. ’ See guarantee editorial page. : : : 
This Engine 
Pace for a Full 
Day’s Work 
Right on the Job every second. High¬ 
est efficiency and reasonable price. 
STURDY jaCK 
engine will pump 2000 galloriH for a cent— 
run a whole day on a gallon of fuel—will 
take an overload without heating or injury 
—actually the greatest engine value in tho 
world and the bent inventmeut} 
can make. Write for 
of these claims. 
JACOBSON MACHINE 
MFG. CO 
Dept. 0, 
Werren, Pa. 
THE EUREKA 
MULCHER and SEEDER 
A mulcher, smoothing harrow, cultivator, weeder and 
seeder all combined. Forms dust mulch and conserves 
moisture. Three sizes, 8,10 and 12 ft. Lever with pres¬ 
sure spring regulates depth of cut. Pulverizes the soil. 
Levels the ground. Teeth nro flat and cau be removed 
to cultivate in rows. The driver rides. 
Seeding boxes cun be easily attached to sow grass 
seed, alfalfa, oats, etc. Adjusts for seeding various 
quantities. Teeth cover seed thoroughly, cither shal¬ 
low or deep. Economical in price. 
Prompt shipments from 
branch near you. Send for/ 
free catalogue today. 
EUREKA MOWER| 
COMPANY, 
840. 
Utica, N. Y. , 
Get Latest Factory Prices On 
E DWARDS §TEEL fl HINGLES 
Cheaper than wood, 
much easier to put on, 
4 times as serviceable 
— can’t rust, rot, leak 
nor burn — 510,000 In¬ 
demnity Bond against 
lightning loss —come 
in sheets of 100 shin¬ 
gles or more. “Dead „ _—-ttiht 
easy” to put on—just nail them on old roofor 
sheathing. We use tho famous Tightcote 
Process and patent Interlocking Device. Made 
by biggest sheet metal makers in the world. 
Sold direct from factory, freight prepaid. Send 
postal for catalog 773 and got our surprisingly low 
prico, by return mull. Give sizo of roof if possible. 
The Edwards Mf<. Co., 723-773 Lock St., Cincinnati, 0, 
Largost Makers of Shoot Motal Products in tho World. 
Free Box of Samples 
£>RJ\W 
tklUfSlm ¥ 
sent to your station charges prepaid. All 
sizes, 2 inches to 20 inches. Delivered 
prices quoted on request. 
THE E. BIGLOW CO., New London, 0. 
LOW-DOWN FARM TRUCKS 
We now makea full line of both Steel- Wheel 
and Wood-Wheel Farm Trucks, and shall oo 
pleased to furnish you our free catalog of same. 
On account of the ease with which work can 
I be done with these trucks, they are fast com¬ 
ing Into general use. Let us have your ln- 
Q H4?AN* r mKTAL WHEEL CO., Box 17, HAVANA, ILL. 
perfect air 
The easiest working hand-power Water and Ai 
l’ump is complete, ready to install. You can miy 
it on credit if you like. Let our catalogue am 
New Way Selling Plan No. 25 today- “ s “5? 
THE SIMPLEX WATER WORKS, Baltimore, Md 
e Work,, 
le. Money 
Ing our low down 
,vhccl 
—- saves high lifting, 
draft, don’t rut roads. 
don’t looson wheel* don’t dry out n 
Write for froo book on Wagons and ■ 
ctrlc WhoeJ Co., 4 8 Elm Street. Quincy. HU 
'GUARANTEED FOR 30YEAR, 
Money back or a new roof jf it de- 
y teriorates or rusts out. No paintim. 
epnirfl required. Our Indemnity Bondpro- 
s you. Costs no more than ordinary rooi- 
. Write for big illustrated book t KLL. 
The American Iron Hoofing Do. 
Station l> ELYRIA, OHIO. 
