9^8 
THIS RURAL NEW-YORKER 
August 9, 1913. 
HUMOROUS 
“Young man,” said the boss, "I like 
to see you arrive in the morning feeling 
fresh.” “Yes, sir.” “But let it end 
there. You have a bad habit of keeping 
your freshness up all day.”—Kansas City 
J ournal. 
Caustic Calkins dropped his watch 
on the sidewalk. “Did it stop?” in¬ 
quired solicitous Jones. “As the flag¬ 
ging is four inches thick,” replied Cal¬ 
kins, “it did. But I think, if I get a 
heavier watch, it may go through next 
time.”—Credit Lost. 
“Well, Claude,” inquired the county 
clerk, addressing a young negro who had 
percolated into the offlce and stood ner¬ 
vously jiggering his hat in both hands, 
“what can I do for you?” “W’y—w’y, 
sah, I wants—dat is, if yo’ ’scusably 
please, sah—wants to git a—a license to 
practice mat’imony, sah.”—Judge. 
A traveler in the dining car had or¬ 
dered friend eggs for breakfast. “Can’t 
give yo’ fried aigs, boss,” the negro 
waiter informed him, “lesson yo’ want to 
wait till we stops.” “Why, how is that?” 
“Well, de cook he says de road’s so rough 
dat ebery time he tries to fry aigs they 
scrambles.”—Credit Lost. 
Simmons had returned from his vaca¬ 
tion. “I certainly enjoyed the husking- 
bees,” he said to a young girl. “Were 
you ever in the country during the season 
of husking-bees?” “Husking-bees!” ex¬ 
claimed the girl; “why, of course not! 
How do you husk a bee, anyway, Mr. 
Simmons?”—Credit Lost. 
Mrs. Bagrox : “Tell me, Professor, 
will my daughter ever become a great 
pianist?” Herr Vogleschnitzle: “I gan- 
not dell.” Mrs. Bagrox: “But has she 
none of the qualifications necessary for a 
good musician?” Herr Vogleschnitzle: 
“Aeh ! Yah, matam ; she has two handts.” 
—Puck. 
A man having buried his wife, a 
woman of unusual size, a neighbor a few 
days afterwards attempted a little in the 
consolation line by remarking: “Well, 
Mr. -, you have met with a heavy 
loss.” “Yes,” replied the mourner, “she 
weighed close upon 400 pounds.”—Mel¬ 
bourne Leader. 
“Look here, Mr. Editor,” exclaimed an 
irate caller, “you referred to me yester¬ 
day as a reformed drunkard. You must 
apologize, or I’ll sue your paper for 
libel.” “Very well, sir,” replied the edi¬ 
tor. “I’ll retract the statement cheer¬ 
fully. I’ll say you haven’t reformed.”— 
Melbourne Leader. 
“James,” said the efficiency expert, 
annoyed by the cheerful habit which his 
chauffeur had of whistling while at his 
work, “you should remember that the 
greatest fortunes nowadays are made 
from the by-products of waste. Here¬ 
after when you whistle, whistle in the 
tires and save me the expenses of a 
pump.”—Harper’s Weekly. 
A man sent his neighbor’s little boy to 
the drug store to buy five postage stamps. 
He handed him two dimes, the extra one 
being for himself. Some time afterward 
the boy came back blubbering and said he 
had lost one of the dimes. “But why 
didn’t you buy me the stamps?” asked 
the man. “Because, mister,” replied the 
boy, “it was your dime I lost.”—Judge. 
A birthday gift was given to a wife 
by her husband and three children. The 
youngest, a little ten-year-old, was ap¬ 
pointed to make the speech of presenta¬ 
tion. She did it after much preparation 
for the occasion, and this was the form 
it took:— “Dear mamma, this gift is 
presented to you by your three children 
and your one husband.”—Melbourne Aus¬ 
tralasian. 
SAVE HALF Your 
Paint Bills 
By using INGERSOLL PAINT —proved 
best by 66 years’ use. It will please you. 
Only paint endorsed by the “Grange.” 
Made in all colors—for all purposes. 
DELIVERED FREE 
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INGERSOLL PAINT BOOK —FREE 
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How to avoid trouble and expense caused by paints 
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O.W. IngersoM, 246 Plymouth St., Brooklyn, N.Y. 
John Deere Spreader 
The Spreader with the Beater on the Axle 
The John Deere 
Spreader has 
Revolutionized the 
Spreader Business. 
Here are Some of 
the Reasons: 
The Low Down Spreader with 
the Big Drive Wheels 
What You Want 
Here’s your chance to get exactly what you 
want in a manure spreader. 
One that is easy to load, light for your 
horses free from constant repairing, and one 
that will last as long as you think it ought to. 
What You Get 
With a John Deere you get a low-down 
spreader in which the advantage of big drive 
wheels is not sacrificed for the low down feature. 
You get a spreader that is easy for your 
horses because it has these big drive wheels, 
together with roller bearings, few parts, the 
center of the load comparatively near the horses 
and evenly distributed over all four wheels. 
No clutches to get out of order, no chains 
to give trouble, no adjustments necessary. 
Built with steel frame, securely braced, like 
modern railway bridges-—strong and durable. 
Why You Get These Things 
Mounting the beater on the axle makes all 
these things possible in the John Deere 
Spreader. 
It does away with some two hundred trouble¬ 
giving parts. It makes the spreader low down. 
It permits the use of big drive wheels. It does 
away with clutches, chains and adjustments. 
It puts all the strain and stress of spreading on 
the rear axle, where it belongs, not on the sides 
and frame of the spreader. 
It does a lot of other good things, too. They are fully 
illustrated and described in our new spreader book. 
Get this Spreader Book 
It tells how the John Deere Spreader is made and why it 
is made that way. It contains illustrations of the work¬ 
ing parts and colored pictures of the John Deere Spreader in 
the field. It also has valuable information in regard to stor¬ 
ing, handling and applying manure to the land. 
Get one of these books free, by asking us for our 
spreader book, Y 33. 
John Deere Plow Co., Moline, Illinois 
BEATER and all its driving 
parts are mounted on the 
rear axle. Power to drive it 
is taken from the rear axle 
through simple gears like 
those that have been used 
on horse-powers for many 
years. This construction is 
patented. You cannot get 
it on any other spreader. 
ONLY HIP-HIGH, easy to 
load. The top of the box is 
only as high as your hips. 
Each forkful of manure is 
placed just where it is need¬ 
ed. You can always see into 
the spreader. 
PEW PARTS. Clutches, 
chains and adjustments— 
in fact, some two hundred 
parts in all—are entirely 
done away with. To throw 
the machine into operation, 
move the lever at the driver’s 
right back until the finger 
engages a large stop at the 
rear of the machine. 
ROLLER BEARINGS togeth¬ 
er with the simplicity of the 
machine itself, make the 
John Deere Spreader light 
draft. There are many more 
reasons that have helped to 
make the demand for John 
Deere Spreaders greater than 
all those interested in the 
spreader business thought 
possible. These features are 
fully discussed in our 
spreader book. You can 
get it free. 
Run on gasoline, kerosene, distillate, 
any cheap fuel oil. Cost less to run— 
develop more power. Patent throttle 
gives three engines in one. Many other | 
exclusive features—guaranteed 10 
years—we pay freight—30 days’ free 
trial. Send for catalogue today. 
EMU Englm Co., 5 Nulltt St., Dttroitj Milk. 
OetWITTE’S PriceFirst 
Factory Prices Direct to Users—WITTE Gaeo- 
line. Gas and Oil engines, 1% to 40 H. P. meet every 
power need. Thousands In use. s-year guaran¬ 
tee; 60 days free trial. Lowest In 
price; highest In worth. Cash or 
Easy terms. Catalog Free. 
WITTE IRON WORKS CO., 
1690 Oakland Are., Kansas City, Ho. 
When you write advertisers mention 
The It. N.-Y. and you’ll get a quick 
reply and a “square deal.” See guaran¬ 
tee editorial page. : : : : 
Let This Caille Engine 
Furnish You Yk H.P. 
I/2 hours for Yk Cents 
L ET it put dollars and cents in 
your pockets every day in the * 
year, by saving you time and 
hired help. Let it pay for itself in a few 
short months and then be a right hand 
helper to you—furnish you power for 
years to come—for a penny an hour. 
CAILLE 
Perfection Engines 
are so simple, 60 easily started, so easily 
cared for, that a child can run them. Two 
boys can easily carry a Caille Perfection en¬ 
gine wherever work is to bo done. The 
women folks can easily operate it in the 
dairy, laundry or at the pump. Needs no 
special foundation—is perfectly lubricated— 
absolutely frost-proof—and there is but one 
adjustment to make on the entire engine. 
Use Gasoline or Kerosene 
For $1.00 extra wo furnish the necessary equip¬ 
ment so engine can bo run on cither gasoline or 
kerosene, further reducing tho slight fuel expense. 
Send for details, (let tho facts, learn all 
about this wonderful, economical, littlo time saver. 
A postal brings all. 
CAILLE PERFECTION MOTOR CO., 
1260 Caille St. 
DETROIT, 
MICHIGAN 
As 
Necessary 
as a 
Mower 
on the money¬ 
making farm. 
Simple as A. B. 
C. Guaranteed 
against damage 
from freezing. 
The lightest en- 
t r gine for power 
for Every Purpose developed—a 
big factor when you want to move it. 
Eight sizes; 1 to 15 h. p. 
Send for Novo Catalog; 
and you will realize how many hours and 
dollars a Novo Engine will save you. 
NOVO ENGINE CO. 
a „ „ CI.ARINCE E. DEMENT, B««’j and G.n’l Mgr. 
211 Willow St. Lansing, Mich. 
$32 BuysThislV2H.P Engine 
Runs for lc an hour. Uses either gasoline or kerosene, 
Will drivo any machine not requiring inoro than 2 H. P. 
THE AMERICAN JUNIOR 
Comes complete, ready to run. Mount 
cd on skids. Easily carried a tout. 
Simple, strong, durable, tin a ran- 
toed for life* Send for circular. 
AMERICAN ENGINE CO., 
480 Boston St., Detroit, Mich. 
Sold Direct 
3 ^ 1300 ^ 
Save $50 to $300 
Yes sir, you can positively save that muchflr more 
by buying your gasoline engines direct from the Jtianufacturer. 
T am out to triple my gasoline engine business and I’m goingto 
do it because I am making three engines where I formerly made one and 
1 m making prices that are selling them like wild-tire. Before 1 started manufacturing 
rnsoline enginea and Beilina: them direct to you farmers, dealers utied to Ret $226 to $300 for 6 
II. r. Engines that were far inferior in quality to tho famous 6 U. P. Modelwhich I put on the 
market at the unheard of price of only $119.60. 
Now I Am Making a Still Bigger Cut ^S t S^TC^«SStfliiS 
other sizes in proportion. Here's your chance to get an engine this year at a prico never be¬ 
fore equalled--an offer made possible by my increased production. Act quick --these prices 
are good for 60 days only. Write me today for my big engine catalog ana special 1913 offer 
that will help you get your engino partly or entirely without cost to you in the end. Don t 
wait. Don t put it off. Write to Galloway today. 
ALLOWAY 
GASOLINE ENGIN 
I can ship you any size from 1% H. P. to 15 H. P. 
either stationary or mounted on hand or horse portable trucks 
or equipped with wood-sawing outfit. Over30,000 in actual use today 
in all sections of the country and 31 foreign countries, and all sold on 
a positive 30 day Free Trial Privilege backed by a $25,000legal bond 
and a 5 year warranty on materials. 
GET 
MY FREE' 
BOOK 
Free Service Department: 
how to install and use your engine and equipment to tho best possi- 
ble advantage. This service is free to users of Galloway engines. 
iffr Mu Dirt EWino Oatalntf tells all about the complete Galloway line 
j$r my Dig Engine L3I3I0£ —my big Pumping Engine Catalogsbows 
~ my unequalled line of pumping engines and several special outfits. Write today for catalog 
desired and new, special 1913 offer. Do it before you lay this paper down. Just address: 
Wm. Calloway, Pres., WM. GALLOWAY CO., 275 Galloway Sta., Waterloo, Iowa 
We can ship same day order [is received from either Waterloo. Chicago, Kansas City, Council ttlutfeof 
516 Minneapolis warehouses 
