620 
THE RURAL NEW-YORKER 
May 28, 1910. 
HUMOROUS 
The dachshund is a funny sight, 
As on his way he calmly jogs. 
Though short his legs, his pants are quite 
As long as those of other dogs. 
—J udge. 
Stranger (in Gotham) : “What is 
it? A dog fight?” Excited resident 
(rushing to join frenzied mob down the 
street) : “Dog fight? Great Caesar’s 
ghost, no! It’s a fashionable wedding!” 
—Chicago Tribune. 
Here is a remarkable excuse: A 
Wichita child who had been absent from 
school brought back the following ex¬ 
cuse when she returned: “Dear 
Teacher: Please excuse Jennie. She 
was sick and had to stay at home to do 
the washing and ironing.”—Wichita 
(Kan.) Beacon. 
The girl was very pretty. Leaning 
her dimpled elbows on the table, she said 
to the critic: “And what is your lecture 
to be about, professor.” “I shall lec¬ 
ture on Keats,” he replied. “Oh, pro¬ 
fessor,” she gushed, “what are keats?”— 
Melbourne Australasian. 
Erudite Relative: “Some time, Tom¬ 
my, I hope you will read President 
Eliot’s ‘five feet of books.’” Tommy: 
“Shucks, aunty! Five feet? I've al¬ 
ready read ‘Twenty Thousand Leagues 
Under the Sea’ and ‘From the Earth 
to the Moon.’ ”—Chicago Tribune. 
Bad Boy (getting in a hard blow) : 
“There, take that!” Good Boy (folding 
his arms with a meek expression) : 
“No, Tommy, I will not hit you back, 
because I promised never to strike a 
playmate: but (kicking him in the shins) 
how do you like that?”—Melbourne 
Australasian. 
“How much does that stylish doctor 
of yours charge?” “Ten dollars a 
visit.” “Gee! How often has he called 
at your house this month?” “Twenty 
times.” “Gosh! You owe him $200, 
then?” “Nope, only $3 0. He’s made 
the other nineteen calls trying to collect 
it.”—Cleveland Leader. 
“What do you mean by'writing down 
a man’s occupation as ‘liar’? asked the 
census taker’s superior, as he glanced 
over one of the sheets that had been 
filled out. “Surely there isn’t anybody 
who makes lying his regular business.” 
“Well, I thought that was the best way 
to put him down. He told me he was a 
painless dentist.”—Chicago Record- Her¬ 
ald. 
Two-year-old Harry had never seen 
a live lamb, his only knowledge of that 
animal being derived from a toy one on 
wheels. While visiting grandpa on the 
farm he was taken to the sheep pen to 
see the lambs. After looking at them 
for a few minutes he looked up at 
grandpa with a puzzled expression and 
•asked, “Where’s the wheels?”—The 
Delineator. 
An immigration officer of the Lhiited 
States tells how two Irish immigrants, 
just arrived in this country, were much 
impressed by a dredging plant at work 
a few yards from the Government land¬ 
ing. As they watched there suddenly 
came into view, from the channel mud 
and slime up a ladder to the deck of 
the dredge, a diver in full panoply. 
“Look at that man, will ye?” came in a 
hoarse whisper from one Celt to the 
other. “Jist look at him. Faith, had I 
known the way over I'd have walked, 
too.”—Harper’s Magazine. 
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P* _ _ _ _ Wisconsin 
H Racine 
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Make Top-Priced Air-Cured Hay 
the* DAIN Delivery RAKE 
There are two kinds of hay; the kind that is air 
cured and the kind that is not. Air cured hay is 
easily worth seventy-five cents to a dollar more 
per ton. If hay is left in the swath to bleach in 
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The Dain way is to air cure hay with the Side 
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This is the DAIN WAY to Air Cure Your HAY 
More thali making top-price hay, the Dain Side Delivery Rake is the most 
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DAIN MFG. CO. 
802 Vine Street OTTUMWA, IOWA 
Exclusive Features 
Teeth may be raised or 
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Teeth turn with gentle mo* 
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Rakes clean, leaves trash 
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All jars absorbed by cush¬ 
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Easy regulation of bevel 
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Easily adjusted to handle 
light or heavy hay. 
Send for Free Catalogue 
The Potato Digger Hnu/rlpll 
For Fast, Clean Work is the WO 1W M w I ■ 
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DOWDEN MFG. COMPANY 
1022 Elm Street, Prairie City, la., U.S.A* 
OUR NEW trade-mark BE SURE it is on every bag of 
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WE OFFER 
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‘ HUBBARD’S “BONE BASE” 
Soluble Corn and General Crops Manure 
AS PRIZES AT THE 
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WRITE FOR PARTICULARS 
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SHARPENS 
ITSELF 
'"THIS h oe always has a 
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The cut at the left fj| 
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The True Temper Special 
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Sold by hardware dealers everywhere. If |p§ 
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American Fork & Hoe Co. 
Largest Manufacturer* of Farm and 
Garden Hand Tools in the World 
CleYeland 
Ohio 
ijy.'z 
P;>:> 
R 
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Would j/2 More Water 
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Send for the most com¬ 
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overissued, No. 110 just off 
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THE AMERICAN WELL WORKS, 
General Ofllee and Works, 
Aurora, III., U. 8. A. 
Chicago Office, - - First National Bank Building. 
MAKE MONEY 
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It is easy to make lumber for 
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129 Hope St.,Hackettslown,N.J. 
1582-Terininal Bldgs., New York 
HARVEY BOLSTER SPRINGS 
|Soon save their cost. Make every wagon a spring/ —^ 
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FREE TRIAL TO YOU 
CUTAWAY TOOLS 
FOR LARGE CROPS 
Clark’s Reversible Bush and 
Bog Plow will subdue 
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Cuts a track 5 ft. wide, 
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disks. Turns the earth 
to or from stumps. 
Guaranteed to kill any bush or plant that grows, ami leavo 
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Send for our FKKK Booklet which describes 120 sizes 
and styles of Cutaway tools. Write today. 
Cutaway Harrow Co^ 83UHalt^t^HlgRanum^Conn^ 
