840 
THE RURAL NEW-YORKER 
June 4, 1910 
HUMOROUS 
There was a young lady named Banker, 
Who slept while the ship lay at anchor. 
She awoke in dismay 
When she heard the mate say, 
"Now hoist up the top sheet and spanker.” 
—Lippincott's. 
Little Boy: “Mamma, the eat has 
eaten that seed I gave to the canary bird 
this morning.” Mamma: “Cats don't 
eat bird seed. You must be mistaken.” 
Little Boy: “No, ma. It was in the 
bird.”—Royal Magazine. 
A stranger rode up to a farmhouse, 
and said to the farmer: “I understand 
you have a fine cow. What will you take 
for her?” “See here,” responded the 
fanner, “has that cow been killed by the 
railroad, or are you the assessor?”— 
Atchison Globe. 
She (after elopement) : “I received a 
letter from papa to-day. He writes that 
he had just finished making his will.” 
He: “Did he remember us?” She: 
“Yes, indeed. He has left all his money 
to an asylum for hopeless idiots.”—Kan¬ 
sas City Journal. 
“Name the domestic animals,” asked 
the teacher one afternoon, when she 
was giving her small pupils a quiz. 
Philip frowned, sucked his pencil, and 
then manfully did as he was told. “The 
cat. the dog, and the hired girl,” he 
wrote in his big, round hand.—Credit 
Lost. 
The ever-burning question, “What j 
shall we do with our boys?” seems to 
be satisfactorily answered in the fol¬ 
lowing advertisement, which appears in 
the window of a Farringdon Road 
butcher’s shop: “Wanted, a respectable 
boy for beef sausages.”—London Trib¬ 
une. 
“Give one verse of the ‘Star Spangled 
Banner.’ ” “I can’t do it, judge.” 
“Quote a passage from the Constitu¬ 
tion.” “Too many fer me.” “Then I 
can’t naturalize you, my man.” “But I 
was born here, judge. I don’t want to 
be naturalized. I’m after a bailiff’s 
job.”—Washington Star. 
Squeamish Guest (as waiter places 
water before him) : “Waiter, are you 
sure this is boiled?” Waiter: “I am 
positive, sir.” Squeamish Guest (put¬ 
ting it to his lips) : “But it seems to 
taste pretty hard for distilled . water.” 
Waiter: “That’s because it’s hard-boiled 
distilled water, sir.”—Chicago News. 
A commercial traveller who had busi¬ 
ness in a small town recently missed the 
last train for the south, and had to put 
up at a local hotel for the night. Being 
very anxious to catch the first train in 
the morning, he summoned the boots of 
the hotel and gave him particular injunc¬ 
tions to be sure and call him at G o’clock 
so that he might have plenty of time. 
The boots faithful promised to obey his 
behest, and as the clock struck six the 
following morning that functionary, true 
to his word, opened the traveller’s bed¬ 
room door and striding across to the 
sleeper, caught hold of the collar of his 
nightshirt, and, giving him a vigorous 
shake, exclaimed in a voice which was 
naturally ‘somewhat deep and sepulchral 
—“Yer hour has come, sir!” The shock 
to the poor commercial of this ruthless 
awakening from dreamland mayr be better 
imagined than described.—Melbourne 
Leader. 
SAVE HALF Your 
Paint Bills 
By using INGERSOLL PAINT — proved 
best bv 66 years’ use. It will please you. 
Only Paint endorsed by the “Grange.” 
Made in all colors,—for all purposes. 
DELIVERED FREE. 
From the Mill Direct to You at Factory Prices. 
INGERSOLL PAINT BOOK —FREE 
Tulls all about Paint and Painting for Durability. 
How to avoid trouble and expense caused by paints 
fading, chalking and peeling. Valuable information 
free to you. with Sa nple dolor Cards, Write me. DO 
.IT NOW. I can save you money. 
0. W. Ingersoll, 246 Plymouth St., Brooklyn, N.Y. 
Needs No Paint 
E verything nowadays is 
constructed with the view to 
save time; to save labor ; to 
save money. 
These are the primal points 
which have made Amatite suc¬ 
cessful. That these things have 
been achieved such letters as the 
one below fully prove. 
“ Oakland, Me., 
Feb. 2, 1910. 
Barrett Mfg. Co. 
During the past twelve years we have 
used several different brands of Ready 
Roofing ; some of these have cost much 
more than Amatite, but we are free to say 
that we prefer the latter. Not only does 
it give fully as good service, but it requires 
no painting or coating, as some of the 
others do. We consider this a most desira¬ 
ble feature. 
Yours truly. 
DUNN EDGE TOOL CO., 
By R. W. DUNN, Treas.” 
These letters come to us con¬ 
stantly. 
Amatite doesn't leak, and never 
needs to be painted. Its cost is 
low; its service long. It saves 
time, labor and expense. 
Its real mineral surface and 
coal tar pitch waterproofing are 
responsible for this. We know 
what Amatite will do. We want 
you to know. Therefore we offer 
you a sample free. 
Just send your name on a postal 
to nearest office. 
Barrett Manufacturing Co. 
New York Chicago 
Philadelphia Boston 
Cincinnati Minneapolis 
Cleveland Pittsburg 
New Orleans 
Kansas City St. Louis 
Insure Agai nst I ntrusion 
Secure privacy for that most sacred spot—the lar^e or small cemetery, the 
community or family burial plot. Republic Cemetery Fences and Gates 
will prevent trespassing and make the resting place of your loved ones 
proof against desecration. These fences will last for many years, and are 
therefore cheaper than wooden fences. They are stock-proof. Write for 
special prices to Cemetery and Church Associations, also free catalog show^. 
ing many styles of fences and gates, cemetery entrance arches, etc. 
Republic Fence Gate Co., oil Republic St., Korth Chicago, HI. 
//-aivd well 
//dothe rest 
Y OU can have any Sta- 
Rite Farm Engine— 
11/ 2 to 25 H. P.; Portable, Semi 
■ Portable or Stationary—on 
II 
* 30 Days Riskless 
Free Trial 
monev in advance. No red tape of any 
kind Simply tell us the kind of work you want a gasoline engi 
, onH we’ll send vou the power best suited to your needs. Test 
“ any way you like. Provo hono.t quality on your own work 
for one month —absolutely at our risk. 
The Sta- Rite is a guaranteed engine, 
especially built for farm use. It’s a trouble- 
proof money-maker that has won hundreds 
of friends from coast to coast.- It’* the one 
power that never goes wrong — and never 
disappoints. 
If you don’t find the Sta 1 Rite the simplest, 
strongest, smoother-running rig you ever saw 
_better in every way than any other engine 
of its size, selling at any price - ship it back 
to us and we'U pay the freight both ways. 
You won’t be out one penny on the deal. 
Below is shown our Hand Portable VA H. P.-the handiest rig ever built 
f ob t<^^o^^ a Write n ^day^cThancls(UT^ t( catalogue"niustrating this sturdy 
\tl« “Si and the oil*. money-m.k.rs and time-savers in .he compieie 
S,a-Ri.e line. -jjg- 0 33 
When you write advertisers mention The 
R. N.-Y. and you’ll get a quick reply and 
“a square deal." See guarantee page 10. 
IRUE lEMPER 
V EG-’ 
TABLE! 
SCOOP 
FORKS 
T HE True Temper Veg¬ 
etable Scoop Fork is not 
only invaluable for handling 
corn from field to wagon, bin 
or cars; but also for rapid and 
easy handling of almost all 
fruits and vegetables in bulk. 
It is the most useful fork that 
the farmer can own. 
Handles Without Injury 
The blunt, flattened ends of the 
tines prevent bruising. Perfect 
shape and hang enable you to 
carry a large load with easy 
swing, screening out dirt or 
snow in the process. 
Sold by hardware dealers 
everywhere. If your dealer 
doesn’t handle, write us and 
we’ll see that you are supplied. 
The American 
Fork & Hoe Co. 
.CLEVELAND, OHIO 
I »J •] 
CE 
Tor Xabbitc, 
_ Chickens, Hogs, Sheep, 
flT Horses, Cattle. 160 styles. Big 
heavy No. 9 galvanized Coiled 
Spring rust proof wires. Will defy 
stock, wind and weather. Free sample E 
& cat'g. 15 to 35c per rod. We pay freight 
The Brown Fence & Wire Co., 
DEPT. 59 Cleveland, O 
48IN.L E ?o c d E 27c 
Best high carbon coiled steel 
wire. Easy to stretch over 
hills and hollows. FREE 
Catalog—fences, tools. Buy 
from factory at wholesale 
prices. Write todav to Box <>7 
W. 11. MASON, LKESIU'KO, 0. 
—99. 9 Xoo % Pure— 
American Ingot Iron Roofing 
Guaranteed For 30 Years 
Without Painting 
The Only Guaranteed Metal Roofing ever put on the 
market. Samples free. Write for a free book showing 
remarkable tests. A way out of your roof troubles. 
THE AMERICAN IRON ROOFING CO,, Dept. D, ELYRIA, OHIO 
INDRUROID 
ROOFING 
Requires no Coating or 
Paint. 
Acid and Alkali Proof. 
Elastic and Pliable Always. 
Strong and Tough. 
Absolutely Waterproof. 
Climatic Changes Do Not 
Affecft It. 
Practically Fire Proof. 
Can Be Used on Steep or 
Flat Surfaces. 
Any Workman Can Put 
It On. 
No Odor. 
Will not Shrink or Crack. 
Light in Weight. 
Does not Taint Water. 
Write for samples, prices 
and circulars. 
H. F. WATSON CO. 
ERIE, PA. 
Chicago, Boston. 
Mention R.N-Y. 
