«72 
THE RUKAb NEW-YORKER 
Juno 18, 1910. 
HUMOROUS 
A weasel lmd two artist sons, 
Who went and caught the measles; 
And so to let them paint and draw 
He bought those weasels easels. 
—Credit Lost. 
Uncle Hiram (looking at bath tubs 
in a plumber’s window) : “Well, I swam! 
I’ve heard that these here New Yorkers 
arc pretty nervy, but I never supposed 
they had the cheek to take a bath in the 
front window !”—Credit Lost. 
A suburban chemist had been adver- 
. tising his patent insect powder far and 
wide. One day a man dashed into his 
shop and said excitedly: “Give me an¬ 
other half pound of your powder, quick, 
please.” “Oh !” remarked the chemist as 
he proceeded to fill the order, “I’m glad 
you like the powder. Good, isn’t it?” 
“Yes,” replied the customer. “I have one 
cockroach very ill; if I give him another 
half pound he’ll die.”—Home Journal. 
When the gentleman with decided 
tendencies toward looking after every¬ 
body’s business but his own saw a fur¬ 
niture removal van being loaded near 
his house, he sallied forth into the street 
on investigation bent. “I say, carter,” 
he began bumptiously, “are the people 
upstairs moving?” The carter looked at 
him scornfully. Then he wiped the per¬ 
spiration from his manly brow. “No, 
sir,” he retorted grimly. “We’re just 
taking the furniture for a drive.”—Chi¬ 
cago Journal. 
A Las Animas rancher whose hog 
was killed by a train wrote to the com¬ 
pany’s claim agent for a settlement. He 
penned his communication thus: “Dear 
sir: My razorback strolled down your 
track a week ago to-day. Your twenty- 
nine come down the line and snuffed his 
life away. You can’t blame me, the hog, 
you see, slipped through a cattle gate, 
so kindly pen a check for ten, the debt 
to liquidate." He received the follow¬ 
ing reply: “Old twenty-nine came down 
the line and killed your hog we know, 
but razorbacks on railroad tracks quite 
often meet with /oe. Therefore, my 
friend, we cannot send the check for 
which you pine. Just plant the dead, 
place o’er its head, ‘Here lies a silly 
swine.’ ”—Oklahoma Oklahoman. 
According to a story that is going 
the rounds of the newspapers, the late 
Bill Nye wrote this advertisement: 
“Owing to my ill health I will sell at 
my residence in township nineteen, range 
eighteen, according to governmental sur¬ 
vey, one plush raspberry cow, aged eight 
years. She is a good milker, and is 
not afraid of cars or anything else. She 
is of undaunted courage and gives milk 
frequently. To a man who does not 
fear death in any form she would be a 
great boon. She is very much attached 
to her present home by means of a 
stay-chain, but she will be sold to any 
one who will agree to treat her right. 
She is one-fourth Short-horn and three- 
fourths hyena. I will also throw in a 
double-barreled shot-gun, which goes 
with her. In May she usually goes away 
for a week or two and returns with a 
tall red calf with wabbly legs. Her 
name is Rose. I would rather sell her 
to a non-resident.” 
When you write advertisers mention The 
It. N.-Y. and you’ll get a quick reply and 
“a square deal." See guarantee page 8. 
Send Name for 
Book of Over 125 
Buggy Bargains 
"DIG BOOK—in colors—including 
• LJ 1910 Split Hickory Auto-Seat 
Buggry and over 125 latest style ve¬ 
hicles and harness, direct from my 
factory—made-to-order—30 Days’ 
Road Test—2 Years’ Guarantee. 
Save $26.50 or Uj 
Prices all astonishingly 
low — vehicles shown in 
colors from photographs. 
Don’t buy before writing 
me for sure cash savings. 
H. C. Phelps, Pres. 
The Ohio Carriage Mlg. Co. 
Sta.290 ,Columbus, O. 
The Telephone That Never Fails 
At Critical Times 
The perfection of the present-day telephone is due 
entirely to its development by the Western Electric Company. 
The 5,000,000 “Bell” Telephones in use in this 
country are Western Electric Telephones . 
Thirty years of National Service is your assurance of 
the dependability of Western Electric instruments. 
Wesfer/t -Ekefric 
Rural Telephones 
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are 
a, 
made in the same factory by the same experts, 
‘Bell” Quality—they never fail. 
The certainty of a reliable instrument that takes care of itself for 
great deal in a business way and more when property or lives depend 
upon perfect service. Western Electric Telephones cost no 
more than inferior makes and much less to maintain in 
perfect condition. 
Fill out the attached coupon and mail it to our 
nearest house listed below and we will mail you this 
free book. It explains how you and your neighbors 
can get all material and build your lines in a few days. 
They 
years is 
{•save time and raegsHT 
The Western Electric Company Furnishes Equipment for Every Electrical Need. 
WESTERN ELECTRIC COMPANY 
■.lUBHOM OUR NEAREST HOtpC 
New York, 
Philadelphia, 
Boston, 
Pittsburg, 
Atlanta, 
Montreal, 
Paris, 
Chicago, 
Indianapolis, 
Cincinnati, 
Minneapolis, 
Winnipeg, 
Antwerp, Berlin, 
Sain t Louis, 
Kan sas City, 
Den ver, 
Dallas, 
Omaha, 
Vancouver, 
Johannesburg, 
San Francisco, 
Los Angeles, 
Seattle, 
Salt Lake City, 
London, 
Sydney, Tokyo. 
<U oo 
O o 
<a 
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73 
73 
All Goods Guaranteed 
Arundel Silos 
Money Back on Demand 
the B 
ALTIMOR 
cooperageE C° 
No. 26 S. Liberty, Baltimore, Md 
IOOO Gal. Cedar Tank 
Manufacturers—Tanks, Towers, Silos, Windmills, Pumps, 
Gasoline Engines, Motors and every kind of equipment for 
Supplying Water. Write us your wants to-day. Quick Shipments. 
One Man Portable Sprayer 
$- 
Price Complete, 
$79.00 
Of Southern Pine with our improved 
1910 continuous door. 10 ft. by 20 ft., 
$ 89 . 00 , complete without roof. AH 
other sizes equally as cheap. 
Simplex” System 
20 ft. Steel Tower, complete 
like cut $61.00. We make all 
other sizes. 
IOO Gal. Cypress Tank 
Spraying Tank, IOO Gal. Cap. 
This Pneumatic System of Water Sup¬ 
ply 150 gals, daily capacity, complete 
ready to install, $46.00. Anybody 
can do it with our directions. We also 
furnish this outfit for power up to 
50,000 gals, capacity. 
Complete like cut, $11.40 
Just the thing for the Farm. Can 
arrange for Spraying by adding 
Solid Cover for $3.00 extra. 
Shipped whole ready for use. 
There is nothing cheap about 
our goods, except the Prices. 
Buy from the Maker and save dealer’s profit—Get our circular, this ad. will not appear again 
Farmers 
ELLIS 
CHAMPION 
THRESHERS 
Do Your Own Threshing! 
You can save the cost of a rig 
in a few years besides doing the 
work at the most £a conveni¬ 
ent time 
are equally well suited to throshermen 
ami grain growers desirous of doing their 
own work. Herewith is shown Kill,. Clmirt- 
ploit No. a complete with stacker, tailings 
elevator and grain bagger; operated by gasoline, 
steam or tread power. No clogging of st raw in these 
threshers. Made in different sizes to meet all needs. 
We also make Tread and Sweep Horse-Power, circular 
and drag saws, ensilage cutters, corn shellers, etc. Semi 
for catalog giving full information about these machines. 
ELLIS KEYSTONE AGRICULTURAL WORKS , 
Pottstown, Pa. 
For Best EXTENSION LADDER at 
JOHN J. POTT Kit, 11 Mill St.. Binghamton, N. Y 
, A 11\| BELT POWER Hay Presses 
Will Make Most Money for You 
BIGGEST CAPACITY 
Daln Presses make biggest number of perfect 
bales per hour. As plunger Is returning from each 
stroke the l)uin Automatic Condenser Hopper opens 
to twice Its former size, giving double feed space 
so tlmt large charges can be made. 
Dependable Construction 
Like all Dain tools, the Dain Belt Power Press is 
carefully built of highest grade materials through¬ 
out. No weak points in the pitman. It is operated 
between a double gear and is steady and easy run¬ 
ning. Plunger Is all iron and steel and is always 
true. Wood plungers swell und stick when damp, 
and shrink in dry weather. Heavy gears give great 
reserve strength to the Dain Press. Friction clutch 
permits almost instant stopping. Baling ease is 
made extra strong to stand terriffic strain. 
NEATEST BALES 
The properly placed top tension, together with 
the Dain tucker by which each feed is neatly 
folded, produces smooth, square-ended hales, 
which pack closely and command highest mar¬ 
ket prices. Dain Press owners always have lots 
of work ahead. If you think of buying a press 
this season, get our big catalogue first. It illus¬ 
trates and describes tiie complete Great Dain 
Line of Belt and Horse Hay Presses. A postal 
requestwiil bring it. QAIN MF6. 
COMPANY 
802 Vine St. 
Ottumwa, la. 
Goulds 
RELIABLE 
FARM 
?(5MPS 
solve the water problem for the coun¬ 
try home. Easy to operate and keep 
in order, made of the most durable 
materials by workmen who have made 
pumps and pumping a life study. Sixty 
years the standard. 
Send for Free book 
** Water Supply for the Home” 
and study your case. 
Goulds make the largest line of hand 
and power pumps in the world—from 
$3 to $300. The name “Goulds” 
is cast on every genuine Goulds pump. 
Buy under this name and you get the 
best pump made . 
THE GOULDS MFC. COMPANY 
No. 58 W. Full Street, Seneca Falls,N.Y. 
