76a 
THK RURAL NEW-YORKER 
July 2‘.l, 11)10. 
HUMOROUS 
“Whatever in the world persuaded 
yc to marry the widder Casey?” “The 
widder Casey!”—Evening Telegram. 
Judge: “Prisoner, arc you guilty or 
not guilty?” Prisoner: “Let my law¬ 
yer plead not guilty for 111 c, judge. 1 
ain’t got the nerve!”—St. Paul Dis¬ 
patch. 
Bobbie: “Pa says you’re a self-made 
man.” Visitor (proudly) : “Yes, my 
hoy, I am.” Bobbie: “Ain’t you sorry 
now you didn’t let somebody else help 
you ?”—Boston Transcript. 
“Did yez hear th’ news, Jawn?" “I 
did not.” “Arizony an’ New Mexico 
have come into th’ union.” “Good. 
Who was th’ walking dillygate in that 
case?”—St. Louis Post-Dispatch. 
Painter'S Wife: • “That’s a view of 
the Alps.-' • Glorious thing, isn't it?” 
Uncle from Somerset: “Well, if it 
wuzn’t for all them mountains, 1 might 
be able to sec s’uthin’.”—London Opin¬ 
ion. 
Father: “Now, Tommie, promise 
me that you will always count a hun¬ 
dred before you hit another boy.” 
Tommie: "Yes. I will if there’s any¬ 
one around to hold the other boy while 
1 count.”—Harper’s Bazar. 
Charitable Person : “1 thought you 
were blind.” Beggar: “Well cap, times 
is so hard just now and competition is 
so keen that even a blind man has to 
keep his eyes open nowadays if he wants 
to do anything at all.”—Brooklyn Life. 
"Whenever 1 gits to anticipatin’ trou¬ 
ble,” said Uncle Ebcn, “J’.s g’winter 
’member 'bout de friend of mine dat got 
kicked by a mule ’cause he were so busy 
lookin’ out fob de comet dat he didn' 
notice de adjacency of de animal’s hind 
feet.”—Washington Post. 
Strange Guest: “L don’t know half 
the people in the room. Just look at 
that woman over there—the cross-eyed, 
red-headed one. And some one. told me 
she was married. Don't you think the 
fellow was a fool ?” Other Guest 
(meekly) : “I know he was. I’m him.” 
— Baltimore American. 
“You boy over in the corner!” cried 
the man behind the desk. The boy ever 
in the corner shot up like a bolt. “An¬ 
swer this,” continued the examiner: 
“Do we eat the flesh of the whale?” 
“Y-y-yes, sir,” faltered the scholar. 
“And what,” pursued the examiner, “do 
we do with the bones?” “P-please, sir," 
responded the boy, “we l'leavc them on 
the s-s-sides of our p plates.”—Youth’s 
Companion. 
The rush hour was nearly over, and 
yet the subway train was crowded when 
it reached Astor Place. Here entered a 
saleswoman, who selected a place facing 
a grouchy man who was trying to read 
his evening paper. Clutching the strap 
she began to sway, at the same time 
voicing her disapproval of existing con¬ 
ditions. “It’s a shame!” she muttered. 
“Hopkinson Smith is right. There is no 
chivalry in New York. I’ve been stand¬ 
ing on my feet all day and I’ve got to 
stand on my feet all the way home.” 
The grouchy man shuffled uneasily. 
“Pardon me for contradicting you. mad¬ 
am,” he remarked, “but you happen to 
be standing on mine now!" And she 
moved three straps further up.—New 
York Sun. 
SAVE HALF Your 
Paint Bills 
By using INGERSOLL PAINT— proved 
best by 66 years’ use. It will please you. 
Only Paint endorsed by the “Grange.” 
Made in all colors,—for all purposes. 
DELIVERED FREE. 
From the Mill Direct to You at Factory Prices. 
INGERSOLL PAINT BOOK — FREE | 
Tells all about Paint and Painting for Durability. 
How to avoid trouble mid expense caused by paints 
fading, chalking and peeling. Valuable information 
fre. to you. with Hamplo dolor Curds, Write me. DO 
XT NOW. I can save you money. 
0. W. Ingersoll, 246 Plymouth St., Brooklyn, N.Y. 
Buildi * Plans FREE! 
1— Concrete Sidewalks 
2— Concrete Troughs 
3 _ Concrete Porches and Steps 
We have gotten up for farmers, free plans, instructions and speci¬ 
fications for building a concrete sidewalk, a concrete watering trough and 
a concrete porch and steps. You and your hired man can make these 
things yourselves at slight expense, and make them with concrete which 
is everlasting, fireproof, sanitary and economical. Sidewalks are no 
longer solely for the city people. Progressive farmers all over the 
country are surrounding their houses with concrete sidewalks and are 
putting concrete floors into their barns, cribs, granaries and other farm 
buildings. Anything constructed of concrete is a permanent improve¬ 
ment on the farm, adds permanent value to the farm, and it is at the 
same time cheaper in the long run than wood. 
We are ready to furnish you now with plans for: 
1—A Concrete Sidewalk. 2—A Concrete Watering Trough. 
3—A Concrete Porch and Steps. 
Write today, telling us which plan you want. 
UNIVERSAL P ORTLAND C EMENT CO. 
CHICAGO 
Northwestern Office: Minneapolis 
PITTSBURG 
( 2 ) 
Send tor Free Catalogue 
The Potato Digger |lAUff|a|l 
For Fast, Clean Work is tho mM V w W UUII 
■Simple, strong, always in order. Works in all 
soils, all depths, hillside and level. No cutting 
and pone missed. Potatoes always clean, lying 
on top of ground. Works well in heavy tops. 
DOWDEN MFG. COMPANY 
1022 Elm Street, Prairie City, la., U. S> A* 
Sears Model “L” 
$495.00 Complete 
Sears Automobiles 
Doctors, Farmers, Ranchmen, Bankers, Sales¬ 
men, Solicitors, Agents, Mail Carriers and 
Business Men in every state of the Union are 
concentrating their attention on the SEARS, 
F ROM starting crank to tail lamp the Sears is the 
economic-reliability automobile. The Scars is built 
in our own Chicago factory in six distinct models, and 
the broad, absolute guarantee of Sears, Roebuck and 
Co. affords the individual buyer his positive individual 
protection. Inside prices ranging from $370.00 up show but 
one phase of Sears economy—low cost of up-keep is another. 
The new Sears Automobile Catalog fully illustrated is 
just fresh from the press—it tells the whole Sears Story in an 
interesting way and is not weighted down with questionable 
scientific and mechanical terms. Our Booklet “What Sears 
Owners Say” contains many real human documents—letters 
right from the people who drive and enjoy the Scars. We 
want you to have one of these catalogs whether you intend 
buying an automobile or not—we want you to learn for your 
personal information of the most remarkable automobile prop¬ 
osition that ever appeared in print. 
Write today for the Booklet and Automobile Catalog AG. 66R44 
Sears, Roebuck & Co. Chica s<> 
LIGHTNING 
Did Strike 
and cause 2165 out of a total of 2960 fire 
losses to farm buildings during one year 
in one state, according to an official re¬ 
port of in fire insurance companies. 
PROF. WEST DODD’S 
Wonderful Invention 
D & S. Woven Copper Cable Lightning Rod 
and System ol Installation 
insurcsabsolute safety and protection to 
life and property from the terrible de¬ 
stroyer, lightning. It is the only system 
of protection endorsed by the Mutual 
Insurance Companies of the -United 
States and Canada (2000 fire insurance 
companies). 
You Need It 
Endorsements of leading flro Insurance 
companies (list of them in catalogue—send 
for It). There are allowances of 10 to 33 1-3 
per cent olT insurance bills when buildings 
are rodded with 1 >. <fc S. Woven Copper 
Cablo I-lglitnlng Hods. 
The D. & S. Rod Pays for Itself and 
Then Begins to Save Yon Money 
Oil Your Insurance Bills 
More D. & S. Hods sold tlmn any other 
three makes combined. I nslst on tho trade¬ 
mark D. ifc S. It is your protection. 
Send for catalogue and book, "The Laws 
and Nature of Lightning," freo. 
Make Yourself, Your Family, Yoar 
Property Safe. 
DODI) <Ss STIlUTHEItS, 
-i:i7 Sixth Avenue, Dee Moines, la. 
i'll Save You $50 
On a Manure Spreader 
r-if You’ll Let Me -n 
Fr eight 
Paid 
Tliis Is lust a Utile ad—but n postal will bring my Big 
Book -and give you my $50.00 Saving Frier and Special 
Proposition. You can save as much answering this little ad¬ 
vertisement as if it covcied a page. 
My Spreader positively will do better work and last longer 
than any Spreader made—no mat- -— — --*-■* 
ter what the price- so why pay $50, 
moret 40,000 farmei. hnvoj 4 
stamped their O. K. onl 
my spreader and money, 
saving price. My Special 
Proposition will interest you. 
Just a postal addressed to Gal¬ 
loway -ot Waterloo, Iowa, will* 
bring you everything postpaid. 
Will You Pay a Penny For 
The Postal and Save $50.00? 
Address Wm. Calloway, Prea. 
WM. CALLOWAY CO. 
iBG^Canowa^Sbs^WalorlooMa 
A Reliable Water Supply System 
.war- ^ Ilavo 'Tunning water when and where 
von want It.” Pumped from stream, pond 
or spring. No expense tor power;no trouble; 
no repairs. Install It yourself, or wo will 
install for you a 
FOSTER HIGH-DUTY RAM 
and guarantor to put It in io your en¬ 
tire vatla faction, for a fixod turn, 
agreed upon in advance. No trouble 
* Or oxponno to maintain. Write ui. 
Power Specialty Company 
111 Rroadw.y, Now York 
Running Water on the Farm ^feUTand 
at low first 'cost with nil automatic 
RIFE RAM 
Cheapest and most efficient 
water supply for country 
place, irrigation, farms, otc. 
Satisfaction guaranteed. 
Booklet, plans, estiinatosfres. 
Rife Engine Co. 2429 Trinlty Bldg.,N.Y. 
Standard Among Drilling Machines 
Tho oldest established manufacturers, the largest 
lino of drilling machines and tools, and H years 
of successful operation In nearly every country 
in the world, make 
American Drilling Machines 
Standard the world over. 
For every possible condition of earth 
and rock drilling and mineral pros¬ 
pecting wo make a drill ©spe¬ 
cially designed for tho re¬ 
quirement. 
Catalog No, 105. tho most 
complete “drill hole” catalog 
ever Issued, Free. 
The American Well Works 
General Office and Works, 
Aurora, 111. 
Chicago Office: First Na¬ 
tional Hank Itldg. 
lAT 171 T drilling 
Yf Jul/1/ MACHINES 
Over 70 sizes and styles, for drilling either deep or 
(hallow wells in any kind of soil or rock. Mounted on 
wheels or on sills. With engines or horse powers. Strong, 
simple ami durable. Any mechanic can opera to them 
easily. Send for catalog. 
WILLIAMS BROS., Ithaca, N. V, 
LET ME START YOU IN BUSINESS! 
I will furnish the advertising matter ami the plans. 1 
want one sincere, earnest man in every town amt town¬ 
ship. Farmers, Mechanics, builders. Small business man. 
Anyone anxious to Improve his condition. Address 
CDMMERCIfll DEMOCRACY, Deni. 0-35, Elyria, Ohio. 
MAKE MONEY 
for FARMERS 
yourself and neighbors with an I 
AMERICAN mill. All sizes. 
Work rapidly with lightpower. 
No experience needed. Uet 
Free Cnlalogur and I,ow 1’rlrcs. 
American Saw Mill Mach’y Co. 
129 llopo 8t.,Ilnekettslowii,N. 1 . 
IB82Termlnal bldgs., New York 
