7S6 
May 1G, 1914. 
THE RURAL, NEW-YORKER 
HUMOROUS 
“Why is the weather so fascinating a 
topic of conversation?” “Well,” replied 
Farmer Corntossel, “I suppose it’s be¬ 
cause it’s one of the few subjects of gen¬ 
eral interest that you ain’t supposed to 
read about in ‘The Congressional Rec¬ 
ord’ before you can pretend to under¬ 
stand it.”—Washington Star. 
“So,” said the visitor, “you intend to 
become a physician, when you grow up. 
“Yes, sir,” said the youth. “And why 
have you decided upon the medical pro¬ 
fession?” “Well, a doctor seems to be 
the only man that keeps on getting paid 
whether his work is satisfactory or not.” 
—Ladies’ Home Journal. 
Little Marie was sitting on her grand¬ 
father’s knee one day, and, after looking 
at him intently for a time, she said: 
“Grandpa, were you in the ark?” “Cer¬ 
tainly not, my dear,” answered the as¬ 
tonished old gentleman. “Then why 
weren’t you drowned?”—London Even¬ 
ing Standard. 
“Go and see if there are any crows 
in that field of corn,” said the farmer 
to the new plow boy. The boy went out, 
and came back with the news that he 
had counted fifty-four. “Did you drive 
them away?” asked his master. “No, 
sir,” replied the boy, “I thought they 
were all yours.”—Melbourne Australa¬ 
sian. 
Little Prescott had been leaning out 
of an upstairs window. “Come away 
from the window, son,” his father said 
sternly. “You might fall out and get a 
hump on your back—like the camels you 
saw yesterday.” The little boy was silent 
for a few minutes. Then he asked : 
“Father, do all the little camels have to 
fall out the window to get their humps?” 
—New York Evening Post. 
Uncle Luke had been over into Cal¬ 
houn County to see the son of his old 
master, now grown to ripe age and ju¬ 
dicial office. “Luke, how does Mr. John 
look?” asked the old gentleman. “He’s 
getting stout, eh?” “Yas, suh,” agreed 
Luke. “Ah will say dat w’en Ah saw 
Mas’r John ev’y button on his wais’eoat 
was doin’ its duty, sab.”—New York 
Evening Post. 
The cemetery fence, had been destroyed 
by a bush fire, and subscriptions were be¬ 
ing taken up in the district with the ob¬ 
ject of erecting a new one. “I don’t see 
as how I should,” replied an old farmer, 
when asked for a donation. “What’s the 
good of a fence around a cemetery, any¬ 
how? Those who are in the cemetery 
can’t get out, and those who are out 
don’t want to get in.”—Melbourne Aus¬ 
tralasian. 
Thrifty housewives are now taking 
measures to keep the housefly from the 
domicile, so as to avoid the perplexing 
problem of getting rid of them. “Flies,” 
remarked one woman recently, “are a 
tremendous nuisance. When one gets 
into a cup of coffee it makes me fairly 
miserable to see it.” “Makes you mis¬ 
erable !” exclaimed her listener. “Well, 
don’t you think it makes the fly more 
so?”—New York Tribune. 
A young lady returned to her home in 
a small Maryland town after a Winter in 
Baltimore, and was told that her old col¬ 
ored laundress had just died after a brief 
illness. Shortly afterwards Aunt Annie 
appeared, quite alive, and looking for 
work. “Why, Aunt Annie!” said the 
astonished girl, “I am so glad to see you. 
I heard you were dead.” “Yes, honey,” 
said the old woman, “Ise done hyeard dat 
too, but I neber did believe it.”—New 
York Evening Post. 
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No-Rim-Cut Tires 
Dropped 28 % 
During 1913 No-Rim-Cut tire prices 
dropped 28 per cent. They dropped so 
fast, so far, that 16 makers have declined 
to follow. 
Now comes this situation: 
Sixteen makes of tires are selling higher 
than Goodyear prices. Some are nearly 
one-half higher. Higher, mark you, than 
No-Rim-Cut tires—the tires which once 
cost one-fifth more than other standard 
tires. 
The Reason Is— 
Mammoth Production 
The difference lies in quantity. In this 
new factory with its new equipment we 
are building up to 10,000 motor tires per 
day. Perhaps twice as many as the larg¬ 
est rival plant. 
Factory cost has dropped immensely as 
our output multiplied. And every sav¬ 
ing goes to you. Last year our profit 
averaged only 6/4 per cent. 
Those are the only rea¬ 
sons why we under 
sell sixteen other 
makes. 
Extra 
Features 
In fabric and rubber 
we give you in Good- 
years the best tire men 
know how to build. 
Our experts have tried 
a thousand ways to 
lower cost per mile, 
and they say that these tires mark the pres¬ 
ent-day limit in low cost per mile. It is 
simply unthinkable that any maker has 
learned a better way to build tires. 
We give you in addition four great fea¬ 
tures found in no other tire. 
We give you the No-Rim-Cut feature, 
which we control, and which has ended 
rim-cutting completely. 
We give you the “On-Air” cure, which 
saves the counties^, blow-outs due to wrin¬ 
kled fabric. This one extra process adds 
to our tire cost $1,500 daily. 
We give you a method—controlled by 
patent—which lessens by 60 per cent the 
risk of loose treads. And we give you the 
double-thick All-Weather tread, the one 
anti-skid which runs like a plain tread— 
which is flat and smooth and regular. 
No-Rim-Cut Popularity 
No-Rim-Cut tires, even when high- 
priced, came to outsell any other. 
And now, after millions 
have been put to the 
mileage test, we 
are selling 55 
per cent more 
tires than in 
any previous year. 
AKRON. OHIO 
No-Rim-Cut Tires 
With All-Weather Treads or Smooth 
They offer you the 
utnfost in a tire at the 
lowest price possible 
now. At a lower 
price than 16 other 
makes. 
THE GOODYEAR TIRE & RUBBER COMPANY, AKRON, OHIO 
Toronto, Canada London, England Mexico City, Mexico 
0517) 
Branches and Agencies in 103 Principal Cities Dealers Everywhere 
Write Us on Ariything You Want in Rubber 
A New Seeder—Between Rows 
3 feet wide 
Chas. C. Gelder, Princess Anne, Md., says:— 
“My stand of Crimson Clover sown In over 60 acres of 
standing corn in 1913 by the Eureka One Horse Seeder 
was the best and most uniform I have ever had.” 
Reduces Labor and Assures Better Results 
Than From Any Other Method or Machine 
For seeding and covering seed between rows of corn, 
etc. Sows clover, timothy, rye, wheat, oats, buck¬ 
wheat, etc. 17 flat teeth cover the seed to any depth desired 
and leave the field level. Wind does not interfere. Seeder 
mechanism and teeth same as used on our large machines 
for 10 years. Accurate and adjusts for various quantities. 
Eureka One Horse Mulcher and Seeder 
also forms dust mulch and kills weeds. It Is an Ideal culti- 
vatorforfarm or garden. Worksclosetosmallplants. Any 
of the teeth can be removed. Light weight with greatest 
strength—all parts of steel or malleable Iron, except han¬ 
dles. Easily operated. Low price. Send for free catalog. 
EUREKA MOWER CO., Box 1200, Utica, N. Y. 
A sturdy little 2 H. P. Engine. 
Just the thing for scores of farm jobs— 
pumps, runs the wood saw, separator, 
washingmachine, etc., and all the lighter 
machinery. Pumps 2,000 gallons for a 
cent. Starts easy and sure. Mounted on 
hand truck—push it around like a wheel¬ 
barrow. Runs without fastening. Firm 
as a rock. Does not have to be propped 
up. Air or hopper cooled. Material and 
workmanship—faultless! Price—reason¬ 
able ! We also manufacture en¬ 
gines up to 60 H. P. for 
heavier work. 
Write tis today — 
tell us your needs 
Jacobson Machine Meg. Co. 
OEPT. 0, WARREN, PA. 
2 H. P. 
Pumo- 
Ing 
Engine 
Jivery Buggy Sold on 30 Days’ FREE Trial 
Absolutely Guaranteed for 
2 Full Years 
H. C. Phelps, | 
President 
It Shows You 
How to Save $25.00 to $40.00 
Don’t doubt this! Send for this book and prove it to yourself! Do that today! 
It costs you nothing. 200,000 men know by experience that this is so! They saved at __ 
least S25.00 to 110.00 on every buggy they bought after they got Phelps' book. And they got 
the best buggies made—just as you will. Buggies made of tho finest Second-Growth Hickory- 
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baggy that will make yon the envy of all your fellows. Think of getting it to try out on 
the road free for 30 days and guaranteed for 2 years! Write for this book today. 
And Phelps offers you the choice of an immense number of 1914 buggy styles to choose 
from. More than 40 local carriage shops “rolled into one” could eversliowyou. Address, 
H. C. Phelps, President, The Ohio Carriage Mfg. Co., Station 290, Columbus, Ohio 
